Pretend With Me (Midnight Society #1)

by Jemma Grey

  Zane stood frozen for a second and then his eyes snapped to my neck, where he had scraped me. Anger was instantly prominent on his face now. “You!” he sneered at me stepping forward. Immediately I began backing away frantically, terrified of him.

  “Stay,” Daren commented putting himself in Zane’s path so he was between us. “Watch,” he ordered and without as much as a second thought or breath, Daren tore at Jenny’s neck, literally opening a huge gash across her throat. Jenny’s body toppled to the floor instantly as Zane fell to his knees, staring in shock and horror.

  “Losing a mate can be crushing, can it not? It can destroy a person… break a heart into such tiny fragments, right? Payback is a bitch Zane, but I’m worse,” Daren sneered through clenched teeth as Zane’s eyes darkened, and a moment later, he charged for us.

  Suddenly hands clamped over my mouth and eyes, and I felt myself being pulled back. I heard the music from the party downstairs getting louder and louder until it was deafening. I could hear endless jumbled voices, all talking at once and then the person holding me, shoved me hard. I fell to the ground, my head connecting with something solid and for a moment everything blurred - the music, the voices – everything was jumbled and messy.

  Fighting the dizziness, I got up and found myself surrounded by darkness. There was no light at all; whether my eyes were open or closed, my vision remained the same

  – nothing. My heart kicked off into overdrive, pounding heavy and hard against my ribcage as if it too was trying to break free. Tears stung my eyes and washed my face as the panic and terror only got worse with time. I couldn't breathe - no matter how many times I sucked in air, I couldn't breathe. I felt like my lungs and throat was on fire, but I didn't know if the fire came from screaming or not being able to breathe. With each passing second, I could literally feel my airway tighten and close up just a little more.

  Desperate to get out, my hands had shot out feeling for anything that could’ve helped and when I’d found a door, I’d began banging on it as I’d screamed at the top of my lungs, trying with no hope to be heard over the pounding music.

  That was the last thing I thought about before the exhaustion I was fighting swept me away. Everything went blank and vanished – all the pain, the tiredness, and numbing coldness just drifted away, finally allowing me to sleep. I even forgot I was wrapped in Eric's arms, and that this was the second stage of awakening.

  For the first time in what felt like ages, I was able to sleep without the constant nightmares haunting me. I didn’t dream. I didn’t see Daren or Brandon lurking behind my eyelids – there was nothing, absolutely nothing.

  And when I woke up some hours later, I had never felt so rested. The place was still dark so it must have been in the early hours of the morning. The curtains were drawn to the sides of the window and the moonlight shone into the room, lighting up everything. I didn’t feel cold though, I felt good – not too cold but not warm either.

  “How are you feeling?” Eric whispered, as his arms tightened around me.

  “How did you know I was awake?” I asked, instead of answering his question.

  “Your breathing changed.” His voice was so low that it blended in with the silence and darkness coating the room. “So are you going to answer my question?”

  I didn’t answer right away. Instead I let out a breath snuggling closer towards him, burying my face into his chest. His scent engulfed me and I breathed it in deeper, not being able to help myself. “I’m fine,” I muttered.

  “Do you want to talk about last night? What happened?” I didn’t have to ask to know that he wasn’t talking about the second stage of awakening… Eric had been in my head, seeing everything that’d happened to me through my eyes and as if it had happened to him…

  “What's the charge?” I asked. They’d kept saying it again and again.

  “It’s a person, in this situation, it’s you.”

  “Me?” I frowned.

  “Yeah,” he nodded. “Daren was your protector; you were his charge.”

  I thought about that for a while. “But what does that mean?”

  “Daren had a tattoo on his right arm, didn’t he?”

  “Yes…”

  “It’s what we call a seal… a type of supernaturally, forced bond. It linked you both and because of that, if you were lost, if you were hurt, or in any real danger, if you were ever to need his help, Daren would've known instantly. But it’s more than just protecting someone Jen... When protectors are made, they're sealed to their charge. Each protector can only have one charge, but a charge can have numerous protectors, and it changes them... makes them loyal only to their charges...” he trailed off.

  “So Daren was supposed to keep me safe... Why didn’t he shift and stop them?” I asked as bitterness seeped into my voice, thick and dominant. If he’d shifted Brandon might probably be alive. He might still be alive.

  “He couldn’t. Zane didn’t know who you were. Your life was never in any real danger until Zane found out you were the pureblood. Daren could only shift to protect you or himself.”

  “That's dumb,” I muttered, thinking about it. They were binding two persons together and the protector could only shift if either of their lives were in danger. It was stupid.

  “Not really,” Eric chuckled. “You see when the bond is made, the protectors become stronger… really strong, and in the past some have tried to abuse that strength. Many people died because of it. So to prevent something like that from happening again, the seal was altered.”

  “That’s why when they cut me he started to shift,” I whispered, remembering his hand when he’d grabbed Jenny’s throat. Only his hand wasn’t really human – it was claws and animal-like. “That’s why he was begging me to choose him,” I realized and a second, stronger dose of guilt rooted in me. “If I had chosen him…”

  “Yes… It sounded like Zane knew you'd choose Daren. Jen, I’m sorry you went through that…”

  “Eric…” I whispered, “thank you.”

  “For what?” he murmured back and after a few seconds I raised my head, staring at his face.

  “For being there for me… for being you; just thank you for everything.” Ever since he’d walked into my life, I have been hurting him, doubting him, fighting him at every step yet in the midst of it all he was unwavering in his strength… in his faith in me. He never gave up. And somewhere along the line of him not giving up, I realized that I’d begun to heal.

  17

  I awoke to the God-awful sound of someone shouting. It was distant yet loud enough for me to hear on the second floor of the house. Instantly I stretched my hand out on the bed to find Eric and wake him up so he could see what was going on. When I only felt the soft empty bed, I raised my head off the pillow, looking around the room, only to find that he wasn’t here. I got out of the bed going outside the room in search of him. Didn’t he ever sleep?

  When I did find him, I also found the source of the screaming; it was him and Charde. They were standing in the kitchen staring holes into each other, looking as if they were fighting a war with their eyes, except Charde was standing casually in a t-shirt and jeans, and Eric was glaring at her while eating from a bowl of milk and cereal.

  “She’s had a long night, she really needs to rest today,” Eric mumbled and shoveled another spoonful of cereal into his mouth, a hint of a smug smile tracing his lips. He wasn’t even pretending to be sorry.

  “Fuck you Eric,” Charde shouted at him. “At least ask her.”

  “What is going on?” I mumbled still sleepy and they both turned to face me. Charde immediately burst out laughing. I didn’t have the energy to do anything other than continue staring at her.

  “It’s too early for trying on your Halloween costume,” she snickered as she walked up to me and smoothened out my hair, “but Frankenstein’s bride is a good look for you.”

  “What are you doing here?” I scowled at her, not even bothering to pretend I cared how I looked. I didn’t hav
e the energy.

  “The school’s ball is this week and the girls and I have some last minute stuff to get; was wondering if you want to come with.”

  “Oh,” I frowned. “I think I already have everything I need, but I’ll still go.”

  “What?” Eric burst out staring at me. “Jen, you can’t possibly-”

  “I promised them I would,” I said interrupting him.

  “Are you sure?” he asked, frowning at me and I nodded.

  “Jen,” Charde then murmured, studying my face. “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” I answered instantly. “I’m fine, just tired.”

  “You look different…” she observed. “Can’t place it but something is definitely different.”

  Yeah, I thought, it was the second stage of becoming a pureblood. “Nothing’s different,” I lied, forcing a smile at her. “What store are you stopping at first? I still have to shower and stuff so I’ll meet you guys there..?” I said, but it came out as a question. Charde nodded, and after she’d given me the details, and threatened to castrate Eric if he refused to drive me to meet them, she hugged me tightly and then left.

  “Eat something first,” Eric demanded and I nodded, stalking back to my room to shower and change.

  “Are you sure you’re up to going with them today?” Eric asked, even as he made me a sandwich, and then again as he watched me eat.

  A low grunt escaped my throat then. “You are exhausting me,” I huffed out.

  “Me?” he frowned. “You could have skipped it, you wanted to go.”

  “I promised them I would.”

  “True, but I promised to take care of you…” he paused. “How are you feeling?”

  I didn’t have to ask to know that we were no longer talking about going shopping anymore; we were talking about last night; everything that he’d learnt and the second stage. I swallowed silently, thinking before I answered. “I’m okay,” I paused. “I mean I feel free and lighter somehow…” I trailed off not knowing if I was making any sense. Telling Eric and letting him in was almost like a breath of air after being under water for so long. I could breathe now. “What changed in me? I mean the second stage is over but I don’t see anything different… I’m still exactly the same as I was yesterday…”

  “You won’t see it. It’s not something that happens on the outside,” he muttered. “It takes a while to realize what it is exactly, but you’ll know.” Then without explaining anything more, he picked up my now empty plate from the counter, washed it and then took my hand leading me towards to garage.

  Despite being dead on my feet, shopping with the girls was fun. It was relaxed and carefree; like I was normal. At least I felt normal. For just a couple of hours I got to be the girl who had nothing to worry about; the girl who was free. The girls did their nails and once they’d finished buying accessories and shoes, and all that other stuff, we had lunch and then headed back.

  Even though it had been nothing but fun, I was still tired. Last night I’d only gotten a couple hours sleep and as soon as I got home, I was going to shower and go back to bed. That plan changed the minute Charde dropped me off and Eric came out to greet me. Something was wrong; I could tell from just looking at him. He was too tense and keyed up.

  “Jen,” he whispered, taking my hand.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, studying him.

  “You have a visitor,” he sighed, leading me into the house, and the second my eyes found the girl sitting on the couch, I recognized her instantly.

  At my side Eric’s hand tightened around mine as I tried pulling away from him. My steps got smaller and slower, and soon all that kept me moving was Eric dragging me forward. I wanted to turn around and run away, but Eric’s hand kept pulling me towards her.

  I couldn’t face her, not after what I had done. I was sure that if she really did know, she hated me and though I deserved every ounce of her hate, I couldn’t live with her hating me.

  When she looked up and her eyes found mine, she stood up, turning to face me. I stopped a few footsteps away from her, not knowing what to say. How could I say anything to her? “I was worried about you,” she said, her voice casual.

  “Kris…” I swallowed with tears welling up in my eyes, not knowing how to start this conversation.

  “So Daren’s dead,” she frowned at me, her face going hard and her voice emotionless. “He’s dead, and you’re gone, and Brandon is... and I’m,” she paused and I knew that she was holding back tears.

  I ripped my hand away from Eric’s and took a step closer to her. Tears ran down my face. I could feel it now everything all at once. I felt desolate and alone. “You weren’t there, Kris…” I sniffed, fresh tears streaming down my face. “You weren’t there and I didn’t know what to do… I… I needed you, and you weren’t there…” I was crying uncontrollably now.

  I could feel every part of me aching for him. I felt each crack that scarred me. My heart wanted to explode into tiny pieces. My head was pounding. There weren’t words to describe how I was feeling. Saying that I was shattering was too mild. It was crushing and breaking, and wanting to rip my heart out and die. “He’s dead,” I cried holding onto her. “We needed you and you weren’t there. Daren and Brandon needed you, Kris… How could you not be there? Where were you?”

  “Jen,” she held my face between her hands, staring at me wide eyed and horrified. “Brandon was there? That night he was with you..?”

  I lowered my head, turning away from her as silent tears rolled down her face. She didn’t know... she didn’t know Brandon was dead too. After I’d gotten out of the closet and back up to the room they were all gone; Brandon, Zane and everyone else was gone, leaving only Daren. I’d never seen them again. Did she think Brandon was alive but gone somewhere? He’d done that before; went off on a bender without contact for weeks. Did she think he was on another bender?

  “Kris…” I started not knowing what to say. “Kris… I…”

  “No,” she frowned at me realizing what I was trying to say. “No, Jen!” she shouted and released me, backing away. Her eyes went wild and distant, and I could tell that she was holding back tears. Kris never cried; it took a lot to make her cry.

  “I’m sorry…” I mumbled, my voice breaking.

  “Oh God,” she breathed out, her hands going to her chest gripping the fabric of the t-shirt she wore, crushing it between her fingers. “I did this! They were after me, I did this.” Kris turned her head to the side, facing aw ay from me. Her eyes closed and it was only then that she allowed her tears to fall. They slid down her cheeks like raindrops running down the outside of a window, silent and hiding the storm raging on at the other side.

  Seeing her like this was my undoing. This was it. I felt every part of me coming undone and unraveling; the carefully placed mask and hard shell shattered and broke, leaving me raw. I found myself crying too and somehow Kris was comforting me. She wrapped her hands around my body, squeezing tight as though she was trying to compress me back into being a whole person.

  I told her everything that happened, and when I told her about Brandon, she cried too. With silent tears running down her face, she smiled at me and told me that it wasn’t my fault.

  I cried all night. I couldn’t stop crying. Everything that I had kept hidden, everything that I had been holding back came pouring out of me. I was finally grieving for him. I was finally admitting to myself that he was gone and he was never coming back. I would never see him again. I’d never see his smile, never hear him laugh again. Daren was gone and he was never coming back.

  Somewhere along the night, my sobs had stopped. My tears ducts had gone dry, yet I found that I was still crying. All through the night Kris never left me, instead she held me tightly without saying anything. Not once had she told me to stop crying or that everything was going to be okay, and I was glad. Even she knew that it was never going to be okay again because no matter how much time passed, I would never fully recover; we were never going to forget. The scars of
what happened would always be with us, forever imprinted into our soul. The wounds would heal of course, but it would never truly go away.

  I heard the bedroom door open and then Eric walked into the room, hesitantly from the sounds of his footsteps. I kept my eyes shut as a long silent, still moment passed over the room. “I just,” Eric choked out. “I just wanted you to know that I was back,” he whispered. “I don’t know how you could stand it, she’s so broken… I couldn’t

  - I couldn’t see her like that… How is she?”

  “Well,” Kris mused and I felt my face heat up from her gaze. “She stopped crying…”

  “And you?” he whispered. “How are you?”

  Kris was silent for what felt like a long time. She then let out a loud breath. “I don’t know yet…” she trailed off, her voice breaking.

  The silence stretched on for a long while and then Eric muttered, “Have you slept yet?”

  “I can’t, I keep picturing it… at least she can.”

  “I’m not asleep,” I mumbled yet kept my eyes shut. “I’m awake…” I sniffed. It took me a while to open my eyes but finally, after a full minute, I found the courage and slowly opened then to find Eric standing at the foot of the bed, staring at me. “I’m all cried out,” I mumbled and without giving him a chance to respond, I turned to Kris frowning. “Sorry you had to see that.”

  “Hey, don’t apologize to me,” she warned sternly. A short silent second passed over us and her face softened. Kris then let out a loud breath. “I’m glad you’re okay, Jen. I was worried about you… you’re not just a friend, you’re my sister and I love you more than you know. Don’t ever put me through that again because I will personally kick your ass and then make you clean up the blood when I’m done.”