Sweetest Obsessions - Anthology

by Anthony, Jane

  My mouth is filled with Devon’s hard length, and I watch his expression of pure ecstasy as he thrusts into me. Just when I think he’s close, he curses and pulls me off of him.

  “I won’t last,” he says. “Jade, I need to feel you…”

  In one swift motion, he lifts me up and drives inside me. His thick erection takes my breath away, and just like last night, I’m a goner.

  Two freaking deep strokes, and I’m coming. My legs shake around his waist, and I beg him to keep going.

  “I need a condom,” he says in a rough tone as he pulls out. “I can’t come inside you without one.”

  “Shit, I forgot.” I bang my hand to my head. No wonder it felt even more intense than last night. Devon was just bare inside me, something I’ve never done with anyone before. Never even considered.

  He grabs a foil packet from his drawer. Then, he leads me to the desk a few feet away and bends me over it.

  He sinks inside me with a groan, and it’s like my orgasm never completely stopped. Despite the interruption, I literally start coming again.

  “Fuck, Jade,” Devon says in a halting tone. “I can feel you falling apart. Feels so fucking good.”

  His thrusts get harder and deeper. I raise my arms and grip onto the edge of the desk for support, my bare breasts pressing against the cool wood beneath me. I’ve never felt so exposed, so vulnerable, in my life. Then, he reaches around and strokes between my folds.

  I completely come apart, unsure which part of me my orgasm’s even coming from. Devon’s following right after, his thrusts long and deep, and he rocks into me as he finishes.

  We don’t speak right away. All I can hear in the room are the sounds of our heavy breaths. I don’t even try to move; I just keep a tight grip on the desk and lean my cheek against the wood.

  “Holy. Jade,” he says into my hair.

  I giggle. “Holy Jade?”

  A kiss lands tenderly on my temple. “Yes. You are holy for sure.”

  “I’m clean by the way,” I feel compelled to add.

  “Me, too.”

  “I’ve never done that before,” I mumble into the desk.

  But Devon hears me. “Me neither,” he says just as quietly. “It was…intense.”

  “It was.”

  “But I would never have gone inside you if I weren’t safe. Sorry I lost control.”

  He sounds genuinely upset, and I turn my head so I can see his face.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask him.

  “I never forget about protection. And you just…you make me forget everything.”

  Something about his tone—

  “Does that bother you?”

  “No,” he says. “It scares me a bit, though, if I’m being honest.”

  He withdraws from my body, and I feel his absence like a dull ache in my chest.

  I stand up straight, planning to talk to him more.

  But he wraps an arm around my waist and kisses me, a hard but emotional kiss that feels like he’s telling me something without words.

  We end up on his bed, and soon he’s grabbing another condom. And I forget any ideas of conversation.

  When I wake up in the morning, Devon’s already up. Wearing worn jeans and a cream Henley shirt that fits his body to a tee, he looks like a model as he hands me a cup of coffee and a croissant from downstairs.

  “Thank you.” I take a bite of the fluffy pastry. “Yum.”

  He takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “What time are you heading back to L.A.?”

  “I have to do brunch with my mom and siblings. So after that, I guess.”

  He fiddles with his coffee cup. “Will this be weird between us?”

  “No!” I say it so loudly I cringe. “Of course not,” I continue in a more normal tone of voice. “It’ll be cool. Fine. Effortless.”

  His blue eyes sparkle. “Effortless?”

  “Okay, fine. Not effortless.”

  “No.” The word comes out flat.

  We go silent.

  Finally, I stand up and throw on my clothes. “I’d better get going.”

  “Jade.” Devon stands with me, taking my chin in his hand. “Thank you for this weekend. It meant more to me than I can verbalize right now. Just know how special it was to me.”

  “For me too.” I give him a hug, and he tightens his hold.

  “I’ll see you at home,” I say with a wave.

  “See you at home.”

  18

  Devon

  “Cougars!” Dylan barks out the play, and I line up behind him on the perfectly-groomed practice field.

  When the ball is snapped, I go into motion. Dylan puts the ball right into my gut, and I grab onto it seamlessly.

  And then, like I’ve been doing all week, I lower my shoulder and aggressively drive the ball through the hole. I don’t stop until I’ve broken three tackles and crossed into the end zone. Sometimes I’ve hit the pylon, sometimes I’ve crossed clean, and sometimes I’ve had to take someone into the dirt with me. But every time I’ve been given the opportunity this week, I’ve scored.

  Smith, our top cornerback, gives me an extra shove as I bounce up with the ball in my hands.

  “Hey!” I shove him right back. “Feeling bad that I beat you? Huh?”

  I’m up in his face, and he laughs as my linemen break us apart.

  “You’re lucky you’ve got your bodyguards, Wilk,” Smith says with a wag of his finger. “Keep doing what you do well. Leave the fighting to the big boys.”

  “Fuck off, Smith.” I go to smack him again, but Dylan drags me back by the hem of my jersey.

  “Keep it together,” Dylan says with a glare. “He’s on the same damn side as you. Besides, we’re at fucking practice!”

  Yeah, it’s just practice, but for me, it’s been the only time all day that I’ve felt good.

  Football was my lifeline. It still is. Although, this past weekend with Jade made me realize all that I’ve missed out on by focusing only on my job.

  Coming back to L.A. after what we shared in the hotel has been brutal. Not being able to touch Jade, kiss her, and hang out with her—it’s sucked. I knew it would be tough, but I figured I could handle it. I’m not a relationship guy. I’m not even a dating guy. So, I thought, this won’t be that different from any other time I’ve been single.

  But it is.

  “Fuck, Wilkens!” Coach Sanders calls from the sidelines. “What’s gotten into your ass this week, huh? Save some of it for the season, will you?”

  I salute him and return to the huddle.

  “Something going on we don’t know about, Devon?” Dylan takes advantage of the privacy of the huddle to zero his gaze on me. “I love the reckless abandon, but this is practice, dude. Coach is right—you’ve got to stay healthy for the whole season.”

  “And in control,” Colton adds pointedly.

  “I think it’s awesome,” Gray says. “We haven’t lost this whole week of practice. Fucking love beating their asses.”

  And I love forgetting about Jade momentarily.

  Maybe once her contract with the Cougars is over next month, we can try dating. I’ve never wanted to date before, but I want to with Jade.

  And only with her.

  If I can just get through the next few weeks, I’ll ask her out. Dating can’t be that hard, right? We’ve already fucked.

  Will that make dating easier? Or is it like starting over?

  I have no clue. I just know that I want to try.

  Jade

  My first week back in L.A. since Devon and I slept together has been…horrible. Seeing him every single day, but not being able to pick up where we left off in bed that last morning in the hotel…it pretty much crushes my enthusiasm for my new job. Not to mention living in his guesthouse. All of it is much harder than I’d anticipated.

  By Friday, I can’t wait to have the next two days off from work. I go through the motions with my classes, correcting the players’ poses and handing out suggestions mindlessly
. When Devon steps into the room for his class, my nerves are shot.

  And then he keeps messing up his pose.

  I’ve avoided touching him all week, not even to brush past him when I go to pick up the mats after our session. But this morning, his position is so wrong that I can’t help reaching over.

  “Here.” I step up to where he’s sitting on the mat, and put my hands on his shoulders. “Just roll forward.”

  He does what I say, and his body lines up perfectly. But then, like an idiot, I ask if he’d like to take it further.

  “Sure,” he says. “But am I ready? I don’t want to screw it up.”

  I arch my back forward, and place my feet on top of his. “Lean into me,” I say. “We’ll support each other’s body weight.”

  He rocks into me and then shifts backward so I’m balancing on his feet and shoulders. Our torsos aren’t touching, but that doesn’t stop the electric current from zipping between us.

  Devon’s hands tighten on my waist. “Jade, maybe when you’re finished…” His eyes darken with lust, and something else, something more meaningful.

  “Jade?”

  At the familiar but unexpected voice, I whip my head toward the door where Coach Sanders has decided to poke his head in.

  “Yes?” I say, trying to sound like what Devon and I are doing isn’t making my thighs clench.

  “When you’re finished with this session, could you see me in my office?”

  I work to get out a normal-sounding, “Sure,” but inside, I’m dying.

  See me in my office is never a good thing.

  After he’s gone, I hop up and return to my mat.

  “What was that about?” Devon murmurs, his stark blue eyes on me.

  I shrug. “No idea.”

  “It’s nothing bad,” he says. “I know Coach. When it’s bad, he has this look. His eyebrows kind of draw in together, and his voice drops. He didn’t do either of those things just now.”

  “I hope you’re right.”

  And when I go see the coach—my boss—turns out that Devon is exactly right. Coach Sanders doesn’t want to discipline me or fire me at all. In fact, he wants to extend my contract with the team to permanent status.

  “Wow,” is all I can manage.

  Having to permanently curb my feelings around Devon? That feels downright impossible. I’m barely hanging on as it is, and I thought I only had two weeks left.

  “You think about it, okay? We’d love to have you on staff. And of course, we can work with you to find a happy medium if you also want to teach at your studio again.”

  I shake his hand. “Thank you so much for the opportunity, Mr. Sanders. I’ll think it over and let you know.”

  Devon’s waiting for me when I pull up his driveway. He’s shirtless, of course, and wet. He obviously just took a quick dip, and he offers me a beer as soon as I exit my car.

  I accept and go join him on the back patio. We take seats next to each other facing the pool.

  This would mark the first time we’ve socialized since Orange County. I’m wondering why he was so clearly waiting for me when he says—

  “I was worried about you.” His eyes stay trained on the pool in front of us. “Was everything okay with Coach?”

  I force a light tone. “Yes. Actually, he offered me a permanent position with the team.”

  My gaze is straight ahead, so I feel rather than see him flinch.

  I turn to look at him. The clench of his jaw is his only tell that this news affects him at all.

  He stays silent for so long that I’m starting to think he didn’t hear me.

  “Congratulations,” he finally says. “I’m happy for you.”

  “So you think I should take it?”

  “You’d be remiss not to. It’s a great opportunity.”

  “You’re happy for me,” I say almost under my breath.

  But he hears. “I’m happy because you’re a great trainer. You deserve to work with anyone you want to.”

  I nod, barely swallowing down my tears. “Right.”

  Devon’s warm hand lands on my thigh. “Hey. You sound upset.”

  He’s starting to bother me with this “happy for you” crap. As if the pain of seeing me every day and not being able to be with me isn’t cutting him in two the way it is me.

  Using my beer for courage, I drink a quarter of it before turning to face him.

  His eyes match the cloudless L.A. sky again today, and his hair is damp from the pool. Don’t even get me started on his half-naked body, which is so close I have to restrain myself from touching him.

  Devon’s so gorgeous it actually hurts to look at him. And if I can’t even dream about having him, somehow that makes the pain worse.

  “So it wouldn’t bother you to have me working there permanently?” I dare to ask him.

  He lets out a heavy sigh, and suddenly he doesn’t look so nonplussed. His mouth turns down into a frown, but he doesn’t answer my question. Not directly.

  “Take the job, Jade,” he says softly.

  Ouch.

  He might as well be saying, Don’t choose me. Choose the Cougars.

  “So that’s it?” I ask. “This past weekend will just become a fond memory for you? A few good fucks?”

  His jaw ticks. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “Really?” I say as I stand up. “It sounds like that’s exactly how you meant it.”

  “Jade.” Devon’s standing now, and he puts both hands on my shoulders. “That’s not true.”

  I take a deep breath. “What is true then? Tell me.”

  A brief flash of something crosses his face, and if I’m not mistaken, it’s pure pain. “Yes, it would skewer me to have to see you every day and not be able to be with you. Hell, this week has slayed me. But this job is what’s best for you long-term. I’m not. And so I have to accept this situation for what it is. Don’t choose a what-if over a sure thing. Do the smart thing for yourself.”

  Inside, my heart is breaking.

  “Your stance makes it sound like you never thought of us as something real,” I say. “I was always just a weekend fling to you.”

  “No.” He runs his hands down my arms, now tugging at my waist. “You were the realest thing I’ve ever had, Jade. And I wish I could promise to give you what we had this weekend forever. But I’ve never done this before. And with my history…”

  “What history?” I demand. “What are you talking about?”

  His expression shuts down, and I know he’s not going to tell me. “I’m sorry. That’s the best I can give you.”

  “An apology?” I step closer to him. “Devon…”

  “I want what’s best for you,” he says firmly. “Honey, you deserve the world, and I…”

  “Please, don’t honey me.” I grab my purse off the ground. “And please, don’t follow me. I need some time to think.”

  I wait until I’m safely in my car and heading down his driveway before I let the tears come.

  I have no home. I have nowhere to go. But I can’t possibly stay at Devon’s any longer.

  19

  Devon

  I stare down the driveway long after Jade’s peeled away.

  I hate hurting her. I hate myself, and I hate seeing the look of sadness on her face, a look she quickly replaces by shooting daggers at me.

  But I won’t stand in the way of Jade’s career. I know what working for the Cougars can do for her. She’ll be able to pay off her debts, something I’d gladly do for her but I know she’d never accept. She’ll be able to have security, something she’s always craved but never had. And she’ll make connections that can take her far.

  With her studio out of commission, and for who knows how long, being hired by the Cougars is a game-changer for Jade.

  And the other part, where I told her I can’t promise that I’m the right man for her—I meant that, too. I sure as hell want to be that guy, but the risk is too great. Earlier, before she had this opportunity, I was willing t
o give it a try.

  But now? I could never roll the dice on Jade’s future by gambling everything on the off chance that we could make it work for the long haul.

  It’s probably for the best anyway. Jade deserves someone stable, someone who comes from a good family and can give her all the things she never had. She deserves to marry a man who has holiday traditions and parents to welcome her into the fold. Not a foster kid who doesn’t know anything about a real family and what that means.

  When Jade was balancing over me today during our session, her hands on my shoulders, for a moment, I almost caved and asked her to take the gamble. If I had, and she’d said yes, I was prepared to go to Coach’s office and see if we could work something out. I was prepared to tell him how I felt about his newest employee and just how much I need her.

  But then, he stepped into the room.

  And when she told me what he was offering her, my brain came back into my head.

  I won’t risk Jade’s career. Not when I’m not a sure bet.

  “Hey, Devon!”

  I groan. I forgot I’m supposed to have drinks with some of the guys tonight. All part of our team building before the real intense part of the season begins.

  Colt, Dylan, King, and Gray come around the corner. Gray’s got a cooler in his hand, and, no doubt, it’s filled with alcohol. Usually, he’s the only one of us who still gets drunk, but tonight’s not a typical night for me.

  Getting drunk sounds like a great fucking idea.

  Jade

  I wind up driving to Marina and Emerson’s apartment. They’re both at home, and they welcome me with open arms.

  We walk down the street for frozen yogurt, and I tell them my story.

  “He’s bluffing,” Marina says immediately. “He loves you. It’s so obvious.”

  Emerson and I stare at her.

  “How do you figure that?” I say finally.