When We Fall

by Sloane Murphy

  I swipe a chaste kiss on her check before running out of the door.

  I make it to class, with minutes to spare having dropped off my stuff in my locker. I love uneventful mornings, even if English class is the start of today. I settle down in my corner, and wait, knowing Mason is going to be here any second. I can’t help it, but I can’t keep still. A mash of anxiety and excitement fill me, and that worries me.

  He saunters into the room, some of the guys of the football team call out to him as he leaves them behind, sliding into his chair beside me.

  “New friends?” I ask, with a small smile. The football team are Evan’s friends, and by association, Tegan’s. I’ve never been their number one fan, especially since they tend to help Tegan with any heavy lifting she might need.

  “Yeah, I caught up with the guys in the park yesterday, after my run. Some of them are actually all right – you know, once you get past their ego and jock thing.”

  “Awesome – I’m glad you’re fitting in.”

  “Well, little miss outcast, I might just be able to bring you into the light with me,” he teases.

  “Maybe I like the darkness.”

  “Well, does that mean you don’t want to come and see Jaded Hearts with me?”

  “I’m sorry, say what?” I squeal as he pulls two tickets out of his back pocket. “Are these for real?”

  “I heard from a good source, these might just be your favorite band, and I had a spare ticket.”

  “Are you kidding?” I squeal and jump up and hug him. “This might be the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

  I don't even care we’re in class and people are looking. JADED HEARTS TICKETS!

  “You’re welcome. I figured it’s the least I could do to repay you. Plus, finding someone else to come to their gig with me isn't an easy task. You’re doing me a favor.” He winks at me as I sit down, trying not to do a happy dance in my chair. “It’s tonight, is that a problem?”

  “Hell no! It isn’t. Thank you so much, Mason. Gahhhh!” I hug myself, resisting doing the same to him.

  “Nice to see you took the loser on as your charity case, new guy.” One of the jock squad pipes up from across the room.

  “What's up butt munch? Jealous I’m taking out the pretty girl? Guess you should’ve asked first.” Mason retorts, but I can’t find it in me to care even a little about everyone else around me. My happy bubble is keeping me nice and warm with fuzzies. Screw everyone else. I’m going to see Jaded Hearts!

  The rest of the day blurs by, and not even gym class can ruin my mood. I stand under the showers, humming my favorite Jaded Hearts song to myself when I realize how quiet the room has gone. I rinse out my hair and do another little happy dance, before reaching outside the shower curtain for my towel, when I’m met with nothing but air.

  Please god no.

  I poke my head out around the curtain, and I see no-one around, but I also don’t see my towel. You have got to be kidding me.

  “Hello,” I call out. “Is there anyone else in here?” I’m greeted with nothing but silence. Wonderful.

  I double check and make sure no one is around before darting from the stall ninja style, trying to cover myself as much as possible. I get to the main locker room, and still see no-one. Tiptoeing to coach’s office, I knock softly, half hoping no-one is in there. There’s no movement so I open the door and grab a towel from the top of the bin. I don’t even care if it’s wet at this point, I just need to not be naked.

  Securing the towel in place, I head to my locker and find it ajar. Seriously, this day can go suck it. I open my locker and see my chucks in the bottom, along with my underwear, my cell, and my necklace, but that's it. Fucking wonderful. That's when I hear a shower turn on. I grasp the towel around me and look around. I could've sworn there was no one else in here.

  “Hello?” I call out.

  There are footsteps, followed by a door closing. I lean back against my locker and close my eyes. I just have to survive this year and then I can escape this hell hole. One year. I take a deep breath and head towards the now running shower, finding my clothes balled up and shredded in the bottom of the shower. I sink down the wall and land in a mess on the floor. What did I ever do to deserve this?

  “Erin, are you okay?” I look up and see Coach Scott looking down at me.

  “Sure thing, Coach. Just a mishap with my clothes, I guess,” I tell her. She frowns.

  “Come on into my office, Erin and we’ll see what we can do about this, shall we?”

  “Thanks, Coach.” I take her offered hand and stand while trying to keep my modesty with the small towel. Picking up my destroyed clothes, I follow her to the office.

  “What’s going on here, Erin?” She asks once I’m sat opposite her.

  “If I knew, I’d tell you, Coach. As it is, I have no idea,” I say, exasperated.

  “I can’t help you if I don’t know the details.”

  “I really don’t know, Coach.”

  “Fine,” she sighs, disappointment thick in her voice. “I’ll call Monica to come and get you, and get her to bring you some more clothes. Until then, you stay here, okay?”

  “Thanks, Coach,” I say as she leaves the room. I drop my head in my hands and fight the urge to cry. I will not let them get to me like this. I’ve never let it get to me before. Though it’s definitely worse now than it’s ever been. The only things I can put it down to are; one, Tegan found out I slept with Evan over summer and is torturing me as a way of ‘reminding me of my place’, or two, Mason. He actually sees me, unlike the rest of the school, and considering he has that whole, mysterious, cheeky yet bad-boy thing going for him, I can only imagine the queen bee and her little minions hate it. God forbid I ever have a friend.

  I wait in silence for Monica to arrive, and when she does, she arrives like a hurricane, bursting through the door like I’m about to go up against a firing squad.

  “Erin! Are you okay? The coach called and said I needed to bring you clothes?” She says before taking in the fact I’m stood in front of her in nothing more than a towel.

  “Oh dear lord, give me strength. What did those sniveling little witches do now?” She asks, her face like thunder.

  “Nothing worse than anything else they’ve ever done. Did you bring me some clothes?”

  “I’ve had enough of this! These girls can’t treat you this way; I’ve let you handle it for too long. I’m taking this to your principal. Enough is enough, damn it!”

  “Monica, please… It’s just going to make it worse.”

  “Not if I have my way, it won’t. You need to let me help you with this, kiddo. It’s part of my job as your mom, now go and get dressed, and then I I’ll be making an appointment with Eric.”

  “It’s Mr. Hardman here, Mon. No-one calls him Eric inside these walls.”

  “Yes, well, maybe he’ll take me seriously then. I expect their parents to be bought in on this.”

  “We have no proof it was them, Monica.”

  “I don’t need proof. Don’t think I haven't seen your social media pages, Erin. It damn near broke my heart to see that rubbish, and to know you tried to deal with it alone. No more. We’re a team. You know what they say, a single arrow is easily broken, but not a bundle. I’m going to be your bundle.”

  “Thank you, Monica,” I sigh, getting up and taking the clothes from before making my way back to my locker to get dressed. I overhear Coach and Monica talking about how school wasn’t like this in their day, well whoopee- do for them.

  I slide my phone into my pocket, ignoring the texts from Mason. I’ve got to deal with Monica before I even think of anything else. She had that look, like a dog with a bone, and I need her to drop this. Yes, it fucking sucks, and yes, I would give pretty much anything for it to stop, but running to the principal or telling their parents, isn’t going to. I’m not sure what will, but what I do know is that is just going to make it worse.

  “I’ll be fine now, Monica. Sorry to have disturb
ed your day,” I say, re-entering Coach’s office. She frowns in that way moms do, and while normally I appreciate it, today I just want her to leave it alone.

  “Erin, be reasonable. These girls can’t go unpunished,” She says, exasperated.

  “You know I can’t leave this unchecked, Erin,” Coach states, nodding at Monica. “That being said, Monica, Erin is right. We have no proof of who did this. All I can do for now is report it to Mr. Hardman, and keep a closer eye on things.”

  “Are you being serious? Her property was damaged, and nothing can be done?” Monica throws her hands up in the air. “No wonder these girls think they can get away with anything. They can!”

  “Please be reassured, Monica. We don’t tolerate bullying of any form. I’ll personally keep an eye on the girls you told me about. Hopefully, we can find a resolution quickly.”

  “Ridiculous. Erin, do you want to come home?” She turns to me and I can see that’s what she wants, but going home will mean they’ve won.

  “No, I’m fine. Lunch is nearly over, I’ll head to class and be home after.”

  “Hmmm. I don’t like it, but if you’re sure?”

  “I promise, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.”

  “Telling a mother not to worry – good one, sweetie.”

  She rolls her eyes at me, gathering her bag. “Fine, I’ll head home, but you come straight home from school, please.”

  She says it like a question, but we both know it isn’t.

  “Erm, that’s fine. But I kinda have plans tonight?” I say, hoping she doesn’t ask too many questions.

  “Hmmmm, we’ll talk once you’re home,” she hugs me, before kissing me on the cheek and flurries out of the room like a walking, talking twister.

  I sigh before heading toward the door. The warning bell rings, signaling the end of lunch.

  “You really should speak to someone, Erin. Even if it’s not me. We have ways of helping with this stuff.”

  “No offence, Coach, but I’ve been dealing with this, quite literally, forever. No-one has ever helped before. Ignorance is bliss and all that, but regardless, I’ve survived. I’ve got less than a year left, and then I’m out of here. I can survive a bit longer.”

  “Maybe so, Erin, but surviving isn’t living. This is your senior year. Living is kind of a requirement,” she smiles a small smile. “Just think about it, but my door is always open.”

  “Thanks, Coach. I’ve really got to go now, otherwise I’m going to be late.” She opens her draw and pulls out a pad of paper.

  “Here’s a tardy slip. Give it to your next teacher, and you’ll be fine.”

  “Thanks, but I’d rather not draw any more attention.”

  “Understood. See you soon, Erin.”

  “Laters Coach,” I call out behind me before shutting the door. The halls are bustling with everyone getting on with their day, and not one person even notices me. I make my way through the sea of people to my locker. I rest my forehead on it for a second, taking a deep breath before opening it. I take note, and everything that’s meant to be here is. I pull out my bag, and a ton of stuff falls onto the floor. Awesome.

  I kneel down and stuff it back in my bag, when I see folded pieces of paper amongst the mess. The bell rings, and I shove it all in my bag before high-tailing it to class. Late is not my style.

  I slip into my desk, seconds before Mrs. White strolls in, her head in a book. A math book, oh the intrigue. She potters about at the front of the room before starting to write on the whiteboard. I unpack my bag, and the pieces of paper come out with my books. I look at them, trying not to draw attention to myself.

  Loser, you need to leave Mason alone. You don’t want him to die, too, do you?

  If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave Mason alone.

  Leave him alone freak!

  Or else.

  Surely they aren’t tormenting me this much just because of Mason? I shake my head, no, they’ve always been like this, he’s just another excuse for them to try and make my life hell. I scrunch them up and slide them into my bag just as Mrs. White turns around.

  “Senior year isn’t all fun and games. You have the class to try and work out the equation on the board. In silence. Good luck,” she announces before plopping down into her chair and sticking her head back in to her book. If I didn’t know better, I’d accuse her of reading that ‘mommy porn’ all of Monica’s friends are obsessed with – or, erotic romance as Monica insists I call it. I snort-laugh, making everyone turn to look at me; the snickers echo around the room. I feel my blush heat my cheeks. Fuck my life. Just why?!

  ***

  “Monica, you home?” I call out as I drop my bag by the sofa in the lounge.

  “In the kitchen.”

  I slip off my chucks and pad into the kitchen, tugging down the sleeves of my sweater, ready to face the lecture I have no doubt is coming my way.

  “How was the rest of your day?” She asks, a skeptical look on her face.

  “It was okay. Nothing major, just a normal day.” I jump onto the stool at the center island in the kitchen and watch as she finishes prepping the salad.

  “About what happened today...”

  “Was an escalation – I know, but the fact you came to the school, and Coach was with us, I think might have made them back down. Like I say, nothing happened after you left.” It’s a small lie, but the chances are, those notes were in my locker long before anyone saw her at the school.

  “I still don’t like this, Erin. I know you’re almost an adult, but it is just almost. As your guardian, it’s my responsibility to watch out for you. I know I’m not your mom. I’ve tried to be laid back about it all, but I’m at my limit. I can’t watch you go through this and keep respecting your wishes of staying out of it. It’s gotten to the point, it can’t be ignored; something needs to be done.”

  “I really wish you wouldn’t. It’s not going to change anything, if anything, it will just make it worse.”

  “You don’t know that, and it’s now at the point where your teachers are going to have to acknowledge something is happening. You shouldn’t have to go through this, and I’m so, so sorry you are – have been. I’ve already made an appointment with Mr. Hardman, your coach will be with us. You don’t have to be there, but I really hope you’ll come. School is meant to be one of the greatest times of your life.”

  “I understand where you’re coming from, Monica – I do. But I don’t want to react to it; reacting to it will make it worse. These girls are nothing but stupid bitches who have peaked in high school. I have the rest of my life to look forward to. It might not be right, but I’m used to this, and I can get through the next few months. This is them reacting to thinking they’re losing control; they know school is nearly done and then what? They have nothing but this small town and the people in it, but I’ve got more than that. I have the University of Austin; I have pre-med to look forward to. I’m going to be able to help people, I just need to get through this first. I won’t ask you not to meet with Mr. Hardman, I get that you watching me live with this isn’t easy, probably just as hard as letting them think it doesn’t hurt me, but I won’t be going with you. I don’t want to make it official.”

  She sighs and wraps me up in a tight hug before kissing my forehead.

  “Okay, sweetie; we’ll keep playing it your war, but you have to tell me if it gets too much. Dr Lacey is still available if you want to start up your therapy sessions again.”

  I groan at her. I saw Dr Lacey when I was younger and had to deal with the fact I was abandoned. Back then, Charli was still around, so I had my person. It was us against the world, but Dr Lacey helped me a lot. She was nice, plus she always handed out candy.

  “Fine, fine; just know you have people to fall back on. Now, what are these plans you eluded to earlier?”

  “Well, you know I told you about the new kid?”

  “The one you’re helping to tutor?”

  “Yeah, him. Wellllll, he has t
ickets to see Jaded Hearts, and asked me if I wanted to go with him.” I try to say as calmly as I can, as if this isn’t an epic thing.

  “Hmmmm… I don’t know, Erin. I don’t know this boy, and by the sounds of it, you don’t really know him either,” she says skeptically.

  “He’s super nice; he’s not like the other kids around here. Plus, its JADED HEARTS!!! Pleaseeeeeeee” I plead, and she laughs.

  “Okay, okay. Do I get to at least meet this boy before your date?”

  “It isn’t a date!” I groan. “And, no.”

  “If it’s not a date, I don’t see the harm in me meeting the young man.” She teases me, an evil glint in her eye.

  “Oh my god, Monica. No, just no.”

  “Hmmm… well if you’re going to be hanging out with him frequently, I’m sure I’ll meet him soon enough.”

  “Does that mean I can go?” I ask excitedly.

  “Yes, I suppose so.”

  “Thank you!” I squeal, jumping up and hugging her. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!!”

  “Ha! If I’d known I was going to get that reaction, I’d have dragged it out longer,” she says, sticking her tongue out at me.

  “Now sit down and eat something,” she says, taking the lasagna from the oven and putting it on the counter in front of me. I jump down and grab two plates, before joining her at the counter. My phone pings in my pocket, and I’m desperate to look at it; I’ve not read anything since the episode before lunch and I know Mason has text me about tonight.

  “Go on, read it. I can see you’re itching to. Just this once, though. No cell phones with dinner,” she says just before hers starts ringing and I laugh.

  “Of course,” she mutters, getting up to answer her phone as I read through my messages from Mason.

  Mason: Hey, you okay? I heard some rumors flying about.

  Mason: Erin? I heard Monica was at the school.

  Mason: If I don’t hear from you soon, I’m going to swing by.

  Me: Now then caveman, no need to swing that club about. I’m fine, I’ll explain everything on the way to the gig.