Chances of distracting her from asking questions about that parting scene were nil.
Somehow the thought didn’t bother her so much. A week ago it would have struck her as intrusive. Reconnecting with Shirley felt like coming home from college and taking her dog, Jasper, for a walk again. It was as if they’d never missed a day in between.
“The grin isn’t necessary.” Erin slouched down in her seat and folded her arms across her chest, determined to throw her friend off the trail.
“Are you sure? Because it feels necessary.”
“Oh, well, if you enjoy rescuing me from my caseworker’s parents’ house before eight in the morning, and,” Erin waved her hand in the air, trying to make it up as she went, “all that, fine. Smile away.”
“Uh-huh. So you’re telling me there’s nothing between you and Travis Williams.”
Closing her eyes, Erin counted to five, then decided another five count would buy her time to come up with an alibi.
“I know you’re not sleeping. Your foot is tapping. Your foot always did tap when you were agitated.” Shirley’s voice continued to ring with good humor.
Erin opened one eye to scowl at her. “You wouldn’t find this so amusing if you knew the details.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie.” Shirley reached over, gave her hand a squeeze, then grinned. “Give me the details and I’ll try to stop being amused. It’s so nice seeing you… how do I put this… involved. You’re a beautiful person, and Travis has been alone for much too long. Since—”
Shirley stopped abruptly, her eyes wide as she made a turn on to the loop.
Erin sat up straighter, cornered herself in the sedan, and studied her friend. “Since what? You were about to say something about Travis’s past. What? I don’t really know anything about him.”
“Oh, it’s really no secret. Travis doesn’t have any lurid past that I know of, and in this town you couldn’t hide something deep and dark.” She rested her left hand on top of her bulging stomach and studied the houses as they left the main section of Livingston behind them. “I guess I’ve known him all my life, though he was in the grade above mine. That’s probably why you don’t remember him.”
“I don’t.”
“He was a jock, of course. You can tell that by the way he’s built.” The smile spread back across her face. “Your sister and I didn’t exactly hang with the athletic group.”
Erin snorted, and the tension began to ease off her shoulders. “I don’t recall you and Dana hanging anywhere, except at the theater every time a new movie came out.”
“We’d have to watch it twice.” Shirley nodded, a softness filling her voice. “As far as Travis, we see each other occasionally now. We attend the same church you know.”
She tossed a glance Erin’s way, then tucked her red hair behind her ear.
“So why is he alone? Is there something wrong with him? It does seem odd that a man his age wouldn’t be married yet.”
“Travis was engaged once a few years ago. It didn’t work out.”
Erin fiddled with a nail and studied Shirley.
“What happened?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think anything happened. Melissa wanted to live in Dallas. Travis didn’t. They’re still friends as far as I know.”
“A nice-looking man like him, and all you can tell me about is one engagement? He’s nearly thirty!”
“That’s not ancient.”
“Nowadays it is.”
“It’s good to hear you find him nice looking.”
Erin squinted her eyes and re-crossed her arms. “That slipped, and you know what I mean. It’s suspicious.”
“Maybe God has been saving him for the right person.”
Erin shifted in her seat and pulled on the seatbelt, trying to find a comfortable position. “I am not the right person. We barely even know each other. Besides, after last night…”
Erin stared out at the forest as they drove toward the ARK. It was an isolated stretch of road. She’d always liked the seclusion of where she lived. She wondered if the day would ever come where she’d find living there lonely.
“He knows all about my past. It’s part of his job—to investigate me. Not that there’s much to learn.” Erin played with a frayed seam of her blue jeans. “I don’t really know anything about him—personally I mean.”
“You could ask him,” Shirley suggested.
Erin nodded. “Last night he declared we needed to keep it professional.”
“Sounds like something Travis would say. He takes his job very seriously—one reason he’s good at it.”
Erin felt the anger rise in her again, an unbidden thing she had no control over. “He says this after he kisses me. After he takes me in his arms and makes me imagine things that now he tells me can’t be.”
“So you do care about him.” Shirley’s voice rang triumphant, and she again reached over and squeezed Erin’s hand, this time holding on tight.
“I don’t know how I feel—confused, angry, excited when I remember how his arms feel around me, then angry all over again when I think of his speech and his rules. Men are infuriating.”
“Don’t I know it.” Shirley laughed as she pulled into the ARK’s long drive.
“You can laugh. Your future seems pretty safe.”
“Yours is, too, Erin. Yours, Josh’s, even Travis’s. Your future is with God. And if He wants you and Travis together, you will be—regardless of Travis’s rules.”
Twenty-Nine
Josh was sound asleep by the time Erin carried him up the steps and into his room.
Why did it feel as if she’d been gone a week?
She didn’t argue when Shirley began unloading bowls of casseroles and fresh fruit into the fridge. Most she recognized as being from Barbara. When Shirley hugged her and said, “Folks wanted to help,” Erin believed her. Kindness was something she could grow used to given time.
Somehow she managed to drag herself around the animal pens, but dragging was all she did. Travis and James had done a good job of taking care of her menagerie of animals. A few items were set in different places, but she didn’t care enough to move them.
She only cared enough to be sure the animals were fine—and they were. So she trudged back to the house, climbed the steps, checked on Josh one final time, and collapsed into her bed. Two hours later, Josh’s crying woke her out of a deep sleep.
For the first time since she’d found him on the hunter’s porch, she didn’t panic.
She padded into his room, looked down into his crib, and smiled.
“Hey, Baby Josh. We’re home.”
He smiled back at her and blew a bubble.
That pretty much made for a perfect afternoon.
Her hair was a mess, she’d napped in her clothes, and by the slant of the sun coming in, she could tell she was late doing chores, but that was all right. Her body didn’t ache. In fact, she felt refreshed after her long nap.
After changing Josh, she picked him up, held him close and buried her face in his curls. Inhaling deeply, she wondered if there was any better smell than a sleepy baby—warm, sweet, and full of love.
Erin normally moved quickly, efficiently, but something prodded her to stand there and watch the sun move toward the horizon. She didn’t even want to hurry. Maybe she was done with rushing from one task to another.
“Thank you, Lord. Thank you for this baby and for this sunset. And thank you for taking care of us.” The prayer came from somewhere deep inside of her, and it flew out on wings.
Josh gurgled.
“Was that an ‘Amen’ or an ‘I’m hungry?’” Moving toward the kitchen, she plopped him into his highchair and hummed as she fixed his bottle, pausing to heat herself a cup of tea in the microwave. “We’ll be late, but Kizmit will understand.”
Twenty minutes later, she walked toward the barn with Josh in his pouch, feeling better than she had in a long time. Not just physically better. A peace had settled into her soul along with the rest
and the friendship of the past few days.
Along with God’s grace.
“Grace too,” she whispered to Kizmit. “Especially grace.”
“Talking to cows again?”
Her head whipped around, and she nearly tripped over the stool she’d set beside the dairy cow.
“Travis, what are you doing here?”
“I said we’d be by after work.” He rolled up the sleeves of his flannel shirt but didn’t move from where he stood in the doorway of the barn.
The last rays of afternoon sun silhouetted all six plus feet of him, and Erin felt her pulse pick up speed like a schoolgirl spotting a boy at the high school football game. He looked so normal in worn blue jeans and work boots.
She tried to remember why she’d been so irritated with him earlier, but all she could think of was how the blue in his shirt perfectly matched the color in his eyes—and both made her think of last night, his arms around her, his lips on hers.
His lips on hers.
“I can do this,” she snapped, heat flaming her face as she suddenly remembered his lecture from the night before.
“You’ve got Kizmit?” A shorter, younger man with a crew cut stepped around Travis. “I’ll take Bells then.”
“Erin, this is James. He works with me and has some experience on a farm. He helped me out last night.”
“Nice to meet you.” James stepped forward, shook hands with her, then turned his attention to Joshua whom she’d placed in an extra baby carrier that she now kept in the barn. “And this must be Joshua. He’s a beautiful baby, exactly like Travis described.”
Erin met Travis’s gaze, and some of her anger evaporated like the last of the day’s heat. He’d said Joshua was beautiful?
Yes, she could read the truth of it in his eyes.
He cared for Josh like she did. How could he not? He was trying to be objective—about Josh, about her.
He was trying to do his job.
The sudden clarity pierced her, causing her to pull her arm tight across her ribs.
Travis was at her side in an instant. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I’ve got this.” She turned away, sat down on the stool, and began milking Kizmit, but Travis’s scent lingered long after he walked away and began mucking out the stall.
One part of her wanted to struggle against their help—make a scene and prove to them she was strong enough to do it on her own. Instead, she took her time with the milking, luxuriated in the sound of fresh hay being shoveled into stalls, picked up Josh, and rocked him while the sound of male bantering played in the background.
Forty minutes later she walked both men back outside and was surprised to see not one but two trucks there.
“Same time tomorrow night?” James asked, running his hand over the top of his crew.
Erin held up her hand, palm out. “I do appreciate your help, but I think I’ve got it from here.”
“You sure? Bells and I sort of have a routine going, not to mention at this rate I’ll be able to drop my gym membership and save some bucks.” His smile was so genuine, Erin couldn’t help laughing at his eagerness.
She noticed Travis held back, let her make the decision, and she appreciated him all the more for it.
“I’ll let Travis know if it’s more than I can handle, but I plan on doing a little at a time tomorrow.”
“All right. See you around town then.” He turned to Travis and slapped him on the back as if they’d just shared a game of racquetball. “I’ll see you in the cube.”
—
Travis watched James pull away in his new Dodge truck, and he wondered why he didn’t jump into his own Blazer and follow him. The last thing he needed to do was be alone with Erin again.
But he knew he couldn’t leave until he had righted what he’d done last night. He couldn’t spend another sleepless night knowing he’d hurt her. She meant too much to him. The thought literally pulled his breath from him. He felt like the fish he snagged from Lake Livingston—out of his element and gasping for air.
Grateful that it was dark, he turned to her. “I’ll hold Josh if you want me to while you close up the barn.”
“Okay. Thanks.” Her hand brushing against his as she passed the baby to him sent his mind reeling into places he didn’t need it to go—how sweet her lips had tasted, the softness of her hair, the way she’d curled into his embrace as if she belonged there.
Joshua began to fuss, so he laid him on his shoulder like he’d seen Erin do. Rubbing his back in tiny circles, he was surprised to see the baby turning his head back and forth, trying to catch glimpses of Erin in the dark.
When she returned to his side, he nodded toward the house. “Let me walk you back. I wanted to talk to you a minute.”
“Okay.”
He couldn’t read her expression, but was grateful she seemed willing to listen. Something had calmed her down since this morning. Maybe his prayers hadn’t been in vain, but then had they ever been?
“He was watching you.” Travis shortened his stride to match hers.
“Who?” Her head jerked up and her voice rose a notch.
“This guy.” Travis switched him to the other shoulder. “When you walked back to the barn, he kept moving his head around, trying to catch a glimpse. I didn’t realize he was doing that already.”
“Seems like he does something new every day. It’s amazing. When you work with animals you get used to small miracles, but children? To me children are like a miracle a minute. I don’t know what to make of it.” Erin climbed the back steps and paused at the door. “I need to change Josh and feed him. What—”
“This will take a few minutes. Can I help you with dinner?”
She cocked her head in that gesture he’d seen the first night. What was she considering? Finally, she pointed down at his dirty work boots. “If you leave those on the porch.”
Slipping her own off, she set them by the door, then took Joshua and disappeared inside.
Travis stood looking through the screen door.
He needed to go inside, needed to make things right.
But he couldn’t afford to give in to what he was feeling again, not like he did last night. It wouldn’t be fair to Erin, and he wasn’t sure his own heart could handle the jolt.
Go inside, feed her, set things straight.
He could be home in time to catch a game on FoxSports.
Thirty
Travis stepped into the kitchen in his stocking feet. It felt odd—strangely intimate. He shook the notion from his mind and crossed over to the refrigerator.
“Shirley left a casserole in there.” Erin smiled up from where she was settling Josh into his high chair, and Travis’s heart slammed against his rib cage.
“Casserole.”
“You can put some on two plates. Then either nuke them or set them directly in the oven on 350.”
“You can put plates in the oven?”
“Those you can.” She turned back to Joshua, buckled him in, and slipped the tray in place. The little guy was rubbing his fists into his eyes, but the minute he spied the baby bottle he actually began pushing against the restraint and crying.
“He knows he’s about to eat?” Travis asked, his hand still on the fridge door.
“Oh yeah, and he’ll fight you for this bottle.” Erin stepped inside the curve of his arm, tugged open the fridge, and pulled out a flowery casserole dish. “Chicken casserole. I prefer it heated in the oven.”
Suddenly, the farm-sized kitchen was too small. Travis took one step backward and felt the counter press into the small of his back. Trapped!
Erin smiled, and he realized she had a smudge of dirt on her forehead. He wanted to reach out and wipe it off, but he knew if he touched her… well, if he touched her again, they’d be right back where they were last night.
He shook his head.
“No? Okay. Microwave is to your left.” She poured some powdered formula into the bottle, mixed in warm water, and began shaking it. “Th
is will take me a few minutes. I think there’s some precut salad fixings in the bottom drawer.”
The pitch and timber of Josh’s cries had grown. “Are you positive he’s okay?”
“Proves he has healthy lungs like when a calf bawls.” Erin laughed. “You’re a strong boy, aren’t you, Joshie?”
Travis knew when the bottle went in; a peaceful silence filled the air. He set to work on the dinner and tried to pull his thoughts back into order.
“Don’t stop feeding that kid. I think he’s starving.”
“I’m betting you gave your mom just as much trouble when you were hungry.”
“Not a chance. I couldn’t possibly have screamed that loud. Josh is going to win the county yodeling competition, or singing competition if he learns to lasso his voice.”
“There’s strength behind it. God did give him that.” Erin continued to talk with the boy as she fed him, but Travis noticed she didn’t baby-talk like some moms did. He’d have to ask her about that later. There were a lot of things he needed to ask her if she was still speaking to him after tonight.
Scooping two helpings of the casserole onto separate plates, he popped them into the oven, something he would have never done at home. Two minutes microwaved did it for him. Why would anyone re-bake something already cooked? Shrugging, he dumped the premade salad into bowls and searched in the cabinet for bread.
Not finding any, he turned to ask Erin and realized she and Josh were gone. Following the sounds of splashing, he found them in the bathroom. Once there, he could only stop and stare.
Less than an inch of water was in the tub, but you would have thought a water park had sprouted from the very tiles if you accounted for all the toys she had laid out. For one two-month-old?
Josh sat in some type of bath carrier, grinning at a duck mobile that dangled from the arm of the carrier.
Erin laughed and said, “Good boy, Joshie. What does the duck say? Remember, sweetie? The duck says quack.”
She bathed him with a cloth as she knelt by the tub. The warmth from the water had flushed her face and curled her hair even more.
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