His Secrets

by Bishop, K. M.

  I caught up with Blake as he reached his car.

  “Blake, I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean that to come out that way. I’m just worried.”

  Blake stopped. He turned to face me and leaned against the driver’s side door with his arms crossed casually.

  “I know,” he said. “But some of where you’re coming from… it’s right.”

  “No, it’s not. I have no right to push you on this. I know it’s not your fault. If your family doesn’t want to meet me for some reason or if I’m not the kind of woman they had planned for you to be with—I understand, and I’m sorry. I’ll meet then whenever it happens. I’m sorry to push you. I was wrong. I didn’t mean to air our dirty laundry in there in front of people.”

  “I know,” Blake said. “And it’s not your fault. I understand why you are getting upset. My family wants to meet you. It’s just one of those things. I really don’t have a better explanation.”

  “I know,” I said. “I’m sorry I blew up. I think the pressure of the wedding, new job, and the graduation, it’s all starting to wear on me. I’m still sleep deprived from studying for finals, too.”

  I sounded stupid with a bunch of childish excuses, but it was all I had. I just hoped that Blake would accept that I was acting like a jerk.

  But was I, really? I still wasn’t sure. Didn’t I deserve some answers? I had a right to be upset, at least that’s how I felt inside. But I didn’t what to fight Blake about something he might not be able to do anything about.

  Blake wrapped me in his arms and held me close to him. I sighed and let my body melt into his warm, broad chest. We didn’t say anything for several seconds, just held each other there. It felt good. I hoped that he might come back to the party, but I knew he wouldn’t.

  I felt odd being out in the driveway wearing only a bikini, but Blake made me feel so comfortable with my body that I’d found many of my insecurities fading away. I used to think that my stomach wasn’t quite flat enough and I had some slight love handles, but Blake seemed to love every inch of me no matter what.

  I was so lucky. I just hoped that never ran out and we had this type of love, this kind of connection forever. I didn’t know what I ever would have done if Blake and I lost what we had and went our separate ways. What would I do? He was everything to me and I could not imagine waking up to a world that did not have him in it.

  “So, you want to go back to the party?” I asked timidly.

  Blake sighed, and then he smiled. “No. I need to head home. I’ve got to get to a construction site first thing in the morning, so I’m probably going to bed soon.

  I kissed him goodbye and watched him drive away in his Ferrari.

  I wondered if he didn’t want to come back to the party because everyone would still be expecting to hear an answer to the questions I’d asked. He’d also stormed out, which was not the finest response to pressure I’d ever seen him exhibit.

  But then again, Blake was under a tremendous amount of stress with work. He and Dane were working night and day to expand into some new markets.

  I stood there a few moments wondering what was really going on with Blake. I was over believing that his family just hadn’t had time to meet their future daughter in law. I wondered if he’d even told them the good news yet. I assumed that he had told them. We’d both told all of our friends already, and of course I’d put it on my social media, Blake hadn’t. But then again, he used his social media mostly for business purposes. I wasn’t sure he even had a Facebook page anymore.

  I went back to join the girls feeling a little down, but I tried to put on my best face. There was no reason to ruin the party and I didn’t want everyone else to feel that I was hurt at all by the little spat that Blake and I’d had.

  “Are you ok?” Amy asked when I returned.

  “Yeah, where did Blake go?” Tim asked.

  I smiled. “He had some business thing that suddenly came up.” I hated lying to my friends, but it felt like the right thing to do there.

  “Ah, ok,” Tim said.

  I could tell he didn’t believe me, but there was nothing I could do about that. It was what it was.

  Donna leaned over and whispered. “How is it really?”

  I looked over at her and said, “I don’t know.”

  Chapter Three

  Blake

  I pulled up in front of the Lambo, one of the hottest new restaurants in town, about a half past twelve. The sun was shining brightly, and it was already approaching a hundred and five degrees in the shade. It was so hot I thought my car was going to melt at any second. The beautiful air conditioning system was cranked to the max delivering the utmost in cool air, but it was struggling to keep up with the heat.

  I stepped out of the car and gave the valet attendant a fifty-dollar bill. He promptly took the keys from my hand, which I dropped into his sweaty palm along with the fifty I had to wonder how much sweat this guy was going to get on my leather seats.

  I tried to put the thought out of my mind as I entered the restaurant. It was nice and cool inside. The atmosphere was quiet and serene. It was like sitting along the most private and quiet mountain stream, just listening to the water crackling over the rocks and the hum of nature all around.

  I loved the way a new restaurant always retained that peaceful vibe during the day until a certain time in the evening when the place was booked with reservations.

  “Yes, I’m meeting Peter Myers here,” I said to the host. “He is expecting me.”

  “Ah, yes,” the host replied. “He is already seated Sir. Right this way.”

  I followed the host to a quiet table near the back of the restaurant. There was my old friend Peter Myers sipping on a vodka martini and relaxing away the day, reading a paperback copy of The Catcher in the Rye. He was always reading paperback books in restaurants. I would have been shocked to find him just sitting there quietly.

  “Blake!” Peter said getting up to greet me.

  I shook his hand and pulled him closely into a hug. It had been a while since I’d actually seen Peter. I’d been thrilled when he had called the other day- out of the blue- to tell me that he was going to be in town. We’d known each other since college.

  The first time I’d met Peter was kind of strange. I was walking back from class looking forward to spending the rest of the day studying for a political science exam I had the next day, when I saw two guys beating up on one other guy. The guy on the ground getting pulverized, was Peter. He was trying to fight back but it was a futile attempt. Peter was barely five feet six, and kind of skinny, but I would come to know soon that he feared no one, had a crazy temper and would fight anyone at the drop of a hat. Behind that, he had a wickedly brilliant mind, if he didn’t get it punched out by someone someday.

  I instinctively dove into the fight and helped pull the other guys off Peter. They were both so blazing mad that they started to fight me too, but by this time Peter was back on his feet and the guys decided not to try their luck against my muscular frame. And apparently, they didn’t like the fact that the odds were now even.

  “How have you been?” I asked Peter.

  “Good,” he said. “I’m moving to town.”

  “What? When did that decision come about?”

  “It’s been percolating for a bit, but I finally just decided I’d had enough of Chicago Winters. I mean, it’s a three-hour plane ride. If I ever need to go back for something, it won’t be that bad. I want to live in the heat for a while.”

  “Well, it’s May. You picked the perfect time of the year to come here,” I said sarcastically. “Nothing but four months of one hundred degrees plus temperatures to give you a warm welcome.”

  Peter laughed. “That sounds perfect to me. I’ve seen nothing but snow for the past six weeks. Ugh. If I ever see that white stuff again, it will be too soon. Did you know that my pipes burst last week? I didn’t know that was still a thing. I thought all the new pipes could expand to accommodate the size of watermelons or
something. God, I’m glad I was renting.”

  I ordered myself a whiskey and leaned back to listen to Peter’s ramblings. The guy was entertaining as could be. I was glad he was moving to town full time. We were going to have some fun. I just hoped that Dane could get to like him. In college, Dane kind of “tolerated” Peter, but secretly, they hated each other.

  “So, I hear you are getting married,” Peter said. “Congratulations. When is the wedding? I do not want to miss that.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “We haven’t set a date yet, but we were thinking October.”

  “That sounds interesting,” Peter said. “You got a picture of the lucky lady?”

  I pulled out my phone and showed Peter a few pics.

  “Wow, she is so out of your league,” Peter said. “It’s good to be rich.”

  I threw my napkin playfully at him. “What are you trying to say? She thinks I’m very good looking.”

  “Ok, so she has poor eyesight. That’s not a total crime,” Peter said.

  The waiter came back and we ordered our lunches. When he left, Peter made a face and gave the guy the finger behind his back.

  I couldn’t help laughing. Peter often did random and childish things because he was bored. He was a laugh riot and I’d missed having him around. Peter was a few years older than me and Dane. He was in his second year of law school when I met him. After school, he got a job with a prestigious firm in Chicago and a few years later, he started up his own firm which he then turned over to someone else. He now had a huge firm with almost twenty locations.

  “And now you are expanding to Phoenix?” I asked.

  “Yeah, well I figured that it was as good a place as any.”

  “Right you are,” I said. “So, what else have you been up to? It’s been so long since I’ve heard much from you. I thought you fell through some black hole and never were to return.”

  He laughed and took a sip to finish off his martini. He waved at a waiter to get a refill.

  “Well, I’ve been busy with work of course, but I’ve also been dating two supermodels. That’s right—two.”

  I rolled my eyes. I had no idea what to believe. Peter was a good looking, successful guy, and he probably could have dated supermodels, but he’d always been the type of guy to go after shy women who were “real” as he liked to say. He didn’t want women who craved glamor and the spotlight; Peter hated that stuff. He loved women who were quiet, but smart and witty. It was a huge turn on for him when the woman didn’t know she was hot, and actually tried to not be noticed due to her shyness.

  He especially had a thing for accountants who wore glasses. He told me once, “the number crunching and the calculations—it drives me wild!”

  I thought he was kidding because he was drunk, but over time I’d come to see that he was dead serious about it. That was his fetish.

  Peter laughed as the waiter brought him another martini. “I’m kidding of course. I just got out of a serious relationship with a botanist. She was wild in the sack. Women who are into science—they will open up worlds within you.”

  “That’s hilarious,” I said. “Did you hear that I’m actually getting married?”

  Peter’s jaw dropped open. “Say it ain’t so!”

  “I heard you are getting married,” Peter said. “Congratulations. When is the wedding? I do not want to miss that.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “We haven’t set a date yet, but we were thinking October.”

  “That sounds interesting,” Peter said. “You got a picture of the lucky lady?”

  I pulled out my phone and showed Peter a few pics.

  “Wow, she is so out of your league,” Peter said. “It’s good to be rich.”

  I threw my napkin playfully at him. “What are you trying to say? She thinks I’m very good looking.”

  “Ok, so she has poor eyesight. That’s not a total crime,” Peter said.

  I nodded. “Yep. I’m engaged to the most amazing woman. Her name is Tina Daniels. She is perfect. Man, she is the one.”

  Peter leaned back and gave me that goofy grin of his that I remembered from school. “Wow, that is great. I’m happy for you.”

  “Thanks,” I said. I was almost relieved that he approved. I wasn’t sure why, but Peter was one of those guys who you always wanted to impress for some reason. I’d never felt like that with anyone else before.

  “So, who is throwing your bachelor party?” Peter asked.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess Dane and some of the fellas will get something together. I’m not sure I really want one.”

  “What? How can you say you don’t want one?”

  I could tell that Peter was feeling that second martini.

  “I don’t know. I guess, a bachelor party is lamenting the end of an era or something, as if you are moving on away from something you are going to miss. I don’t think I’m going to miss bachelorhood. Since I met Tina, my life has been ten times happier and more fulfilling. I have nothing to pine for.”

  “Well, that is disgraceful,” Peter laughed. “It’s cool that you are so happy. But don’t think I’m letting you off the hook about that bachelor party. You might not need one, but your friends do.”

  “Oh, I see. Fine. I leave it in your hands,” I said.

  “So, you finally found a woman who will put up with all your baggage. That’s impressive,” Peter said.

  “What baggage?”

  “Well, it seems to me that you used to be a bit of a player…”

  “I was never a player,” I corrected. “I was a young, college guy who was working on building a business. I didn’t have time for relationships then, nor did I want one. I had the occasional, and sometimes frequent, one night-stand and short term flings, but I never led anyone on. Lets get that straight.”

  Peter giggled and held his hands up. “Ah, excuse me. I’m so sorry.”

  Our food came and we both dug in. I was hungry as could be, but something was weighing on my mind. Even though Peter and I had not said much to each other lately, I still considered him a close friend and someone I could talk to.

  “Hey, listen. I want you to meet Tina soon. And I should tell you that I have not told her about everything…”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I haven’t told her about my family. She doesn’t know the business, or what my father used to do for a living.”

  Peter nodded. “Ah, I see. So, you are waiting for…what, exactly?”

  I sighed. “Hell if I know.”

  This was stupid. What was I waiting for? I was scared and waiting for the fear I felt to dissipate. It was silly. I’d never been scared of anything in my life. I’d done things that other people told me I was crazy to attempt, and then I had succeeded. That took guts. I knew it did. I was not the bravest, toughest guy who ever lived—far from it—but I knew that I was stronger than this.

  “You have to just do it,” Peter said. “If it was anyone else and they were in your shoes, you would tell them the same thing. Of course, it’s always easier when it’s not you that has to do it. But the truth remains. This isn’t going to get better or easier; it’s going to get harder. Hell, you are engaged. You need to man up and just tell your lady that you made a mistake and you’ve been keeping something important from her.”

  “I know,” I said. “I know. But… the love I have for her is so strong that I’m just paralyzed with fear. How do I tell her that I’ve been lying to her about this huge thing the entire time I’ve known her? That isn’t the sort of thing that she’s just going to get past. Even the most understanding woman in the world wouldn’t let this go without a bit of a freak out.”

  “I know,” he said. “But you have to deal with it. That’s all there is to it. If she really loves you, then she will forgive you. It might take some time and you might hit a rough spell. Hell, she might even put a pause on the wedding, but eventually if that love is there, it will bounce back.”

  “You think so?”

 
“Man, I know so. I’ve been through the ringer more times than I can count. Plus, I never miss an episode of Dr. Phil.”

  I couldn’t keep from laughing.

  “Hey, don’t knock Dr. Phil. That dude knows everything,” Peter said.

  I rolled my eyes. “I’ll take your word for it.”

  We finished eating our lunch and chatted about work and the friends that we hadn’t seen in years. Peter was excited to reconnect with some of the guys and to meet some of our new friends. Not to mention, I wanted him to meet Tina in person. I was a bit nervous about this, because with Peter you knew really knew what he might do, or say. Yet, I still trusted him to keep his shit together and behave himself.

  “So, how about you?” I asked. “When are you going to settle down and find that special lady?”

  Peter shrugged and leaned back. “I don’t know if there is such a creature for me.”

  “What? Surely, there is someone for everyone.”

  “Yeah, but I’m just not sure. I’m so picky and everyone ends up irritating me eventually, especially when sex is involved. It tends to complicate things.”

  “You know, I hear people say that, but I have no idea what that really means. How does sex complicate a romantic relationship? I don’t get it.”

  Peter paused and thought about my pondering. “You know, that doesn’t make sense to me either, but somehow it does. I think it stirs up some type of emotions that weren’t there before… I don’t know.”

  We both looked at each other and burst out laughing.

  “Wow, we are pathetic. I’m so glad I’m getting married,” I said.

  “Agreed,” Peter replied.

  We touched glasses and then ordered another round. I was planning to go back to the office and get some work done at some point, but right then, I was having far too much fun with my old friend.

  “You don’t have to be afraid of who your family is,” Peter said towards the end of our lunch. “You are not your family. You are not your father. Any woman worth her salt is going to realize that. She will be more upset that you’ve lied about it, than what you are lying about.”