Trying to Stay Saved

by E. N. Joy

  “And because I’m a good wife I understand that I have to be there for you. Through the good and the bad; ain’t that what Pastor said during our wedding ceremony? So, I’m going to be here for you. And we’ll get through this together, okay?”

  “Okay.” Blake kissed her lips.

  “Just try to go a little easy on me, all right?” Paige joked. “Deal?”

  “Deal.” Blake kissed her again.

  “What do you say we figure out a way to somehow seal this deal?” Paige began to slip out of her clothes.

  Blake stared at his wife’s thick silhouette in the dark. And although he still wasn’t really in the mood for lovemaking, he knew he couldn’t deny her. After all the awful things he’d just said to her, he knew he had to make his wife feel like a woman again; a desired woman, wanted by her husband. So he performed his husbandly duties, and afterward, he felt they were even. But with the stress of the upcoming court hearings pertaining to the lawsuit, he knew there’d be a lot of “getting even” going on. But neither husband nor wife had any idea of just how bad things were going to get.

  Chapter Six

  “I can’t believe you are still sleeping with that woman’s husband,” Mother Doreen said to her sister as she dabbed the blood away from her bleeding lip.

  Bethany looked up from the couch at her children in embarrassment. “Kids, go to your room.”

  “We’re not babies, Mom,” Sadie spat. “Trust me, we’ve grown up quicker than we’d like to with all the drama that’s been going on the last few months. We deserve to know if you’re still seeing that man or not.”

  “Yeah,” Hudson jumped in. “Keep in mind that I’m about to be a father.”

  Bethany had almost forgotten that because of all her neglect and drama that had taken place, her son was about to become a teenage father. Truthfully, that really was something she wanted to forget. Whether she’d been more attentive to her family life may not have affected Hudson having a child on the way, but still, there was a tinge of guilt that told Bethany otherwise.

  “I can handle what’s going on with you, Mom,” Hudson insisted. “You said we’d try to be honest around here from now on; try to hold each other accountable.”

  Bethany put her head down in shame.

  “Look, kids, your mother will come up and talk to you in a minute,” Mother Doreen intervened. “Just let me have a word with her for now, okay?”

  Sadie sucked her teeth and stomped off, mumbling under her breath, “Here we go again.” Hudson reluctantly followed behind his younger sister.

  Once the children were no longer in earshot, Mother Doreen started in. “How could you, Beth? Not only are you still seeing the man you disrespected your dead husband with by sleeping with him, a man who disrespected not only his wife, but his entire congregation by taking advantage of one of his church members . . . but a man who could be responsible for the death of your husband.”

  “Oh, Sis, please don’t start that mess up again. You already, against my wishes, decided to take your speculations and the information you dug up on your little witch hunt against him to the police. They didn’t even find sufficient evidence in your findings to reopen the case. Pastor Davidson is no murderer.”

  “Just a liar and an adulterer, I suppose. At least that’s all we can prove for now.” Mother Doreen sarcastically added, “Guess he’s still got a chance at getting into heaven then.”

  “We all fall short of the glory, ’Reen, and don’t you forget it. You’re the one gallivanting around here with Pastor Frey like y’all Danny and Sandy from the movie Grease.”

  “But at least we’re keeping it holy. And what do you call what you and Senator Edwards there are doing?”

  “We’re two people trying to follow our hearts.”

  “Puh-leeze,” Mother Doreen stated as she looked frantically around the room. She then spotted what she was looking for, a Bible. She grabbed it, and then threw it down on the couch next to Bethany. “Now, you show me in that there Bible where the Word of God says to follow your heart. Go ahead, show me.”

  Bethany just sat there.

  “Uh-huh. Just what I thought.” Mother Doreen snatched the Bible up. “Because it don’t say nothing about following your heart. But I’ll tell you what it does say.” Mother Doreen flipped to the book of Proverbs. “Right here in Proverbs, chapter four, verse twenty-three, it says, ‘Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.’” She slammed the book closed. “Guard your heart—not follow your heart.” Mother Doreen sat down next to Bethany and lovingly put her arm around her shoulder. “Child, you have to follow the direction of the Holy Spirit. You can’t lean on or trust your own thoughts and understanding . . . or your heart. Your heart can have you making decisions that will have you all messed up.”

  Tears began to fall from Bethany’s eyes. “Honestly, it’s been some time since we were last together. I mean, after I told him about the baby, he became a different person, like he didn’t want to be around me anymore. But then after a while, after losing the baby, he came around again and we started talking. But that’s it, just talking. We didn’t expect it to happen. I just love him, though. I know it’s wrong, but I love him. I can’t get him out of my heart. And believe it or not, I was going to tell you and the kids about how I was feeling tonight, right before the knock on the door came.”

  Mother Doreen exhaled. She wasn’t sure what needed to be said, so she needed a Word from God to relay. So keeping her fleshly tongue under control, she remained silent while Bethany spoke.

  “I must seem so cold that even after the death of my husband I went back into my lover’s arms. Even though we’ve still talked and seen each other on occasion, we’ve only . . . you know—been together—once,” Bethany assured her sister. “I just couldn’t turn it off; the feelings I had for the man; the feelings that I still have for the man. I mean, I loved Uriah. God knows I did. My mourning and my grief were real, but I love Davidson too,” Bethany confessed. “And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy about his wife putting him out. That could mean I do have a chance with him.” A light went on in Bethany’s head. “Sis, it could be like a sign from—”

  “Don’t you dare put this one on God,” Mother Doreen snapped. “Child, don’t you even fix your lips to say such a thing.”

  Mother Doreen sat down in the chair next to the couch, speechless. How could this all have been happening right under her nose? Her sister having sex with the pastor? Her teenage nephew having sex, period? She felt as though the moment God had sent her to Kentucky she’d been botching the entire assignment. Obviously she hadn’t been in position like she was supposed to be. Obviously she wasn’t hearing from God like she should have been. All that had to change. She couldn’t let God down. He had to know that He could trust her to do what He’d called her to do. So now it was time for her to start getting to the bottom of things. She needed eagle eyes; eyes that enabled her to see her prey, the enemy, from great distances, long before they ever got a chance to get next to her.

  “When did you start seeing him again? I don’t understand how . . .” Mother Doreen inquired.

  “Whenever you were at the church and the kids were doing their thing or something,” Bethany answered honestly. “I mean, I haven’t seen him a lot. You guys are hardly ever gone at the same time. I don’t know how his wife—”

  “Wait just one minute!” Mother Doreen exclaimed as she stood. “In here? In this house? You and that man . . .” She turned and began pacing. “In the name of Jesus. This house! The house your dead husband’s insurance money paid off?”

  “Don’t try to make me feel guilty.” Now Bethany stood. The sudden movement caused a pain, forcing her to caress her wound.

  “It shouldn’t take me to make you feel guilty. If the Holy Spirit ain’t convicted your trifling tail by now, then—”

  “How dare you!” Bethany was now in Mother Doreen’s face.

  “How dare you?” Mother Doreen shot back, standing her
ground.

  The two sisters were toe-to-toe. If the doorbell hadn’t rung when it did, no telling which one of them might have swung the first punch.

  “I’ll get it.” The words seethed through Bethany’s teeth as she went and answered the door. This time she looked to see who it was. Upon seeing the caller and the knot that donned his head, she quickly opened the door. “Are you all right?” she asked in a panicked tone. “What did she do to you?”

  “Yes, I’m all right. What about you?” he asked, slightly touching Bethany’s face.

  Mother Doreen couldn’t bear the sight of Bethany and Pastor Davidson standing in the doorway displaying their matching wounds. It was evident that First Lady Davidson packed a powerful punch.

  “She’s a mess,” Mother Doreen answered for her sister as she approached the couple. “And so are you.”

  “Sister Doreen,” Pastor Davidson greeted. “I’m sorry about all this.”

  “As you should be,” she spat back at him.

  “You don’t owe her any explanation,” Bethany said while cutting eyes at Mother Doreen. “Come on in. Let me get you some ice or something for that lump on your head.”

  “No, no. I just came to get my things. First Lady told me I could pick them up here.” He looked over his shoulder. “I had no idea they were thrown across your lawn.” He turned back to Bethany with hush-puppy eyes.

  “So she put you out, huh?” Bethany asked the question to the answer she already knew.

  Pastor Davidson nodded.

  “Where are you going to go?” Bethany inquired.

  “I don’t know. She cleaned me out. She went to the bank and withdrew all of our funds today. Cancelled our credit cards. Changed the locks on the doors. She was a busy bee.”

  “Humph,” Mother Doreen mumbled under her breath. “Not half as busy as you’ve been.”

  “But how did she find out that we had still been seeing each other?” Bethany asked.

  “It seems as though over this past month First Lady’s spirit discerned something wasn’t right. At first she believed me when I told her you and I were over and that it would never happen again.” He looked at Mother Doreen. “Of course, I had to open up and tell her the truth about us when the police came questioning me about Uriah’s death.”

  Mother Doreen rolled her eyes up in her head and crossed her arms. If her actions had forced the man to reveal the truth to his wife, then so be it.

  “She believed me,” Pastor Davidson continued, “because back then, I was telling the truth. We hadn’t been seeing each other. I had no idea it would be so hard to completely cut things off with you. I thought just talking with you, seeing you would ease the loss I was feeling. But that was just a trick of the enemy.” Pastor Davidson took a breath. “It seems as though she followed me over here the other day. She’s been planning my exit ever since. Already visited a lawyer and everything.”

  “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.” Bethany rubbed Pastor Davidson’s arm.

  “Well, if you ask me, you both should be sorry,” Mother Doreen stated.

  “And we didn’t ask you.” Bethany was fed up as she made her way toward Mother Doreen, pointing and waving her finger. “But that has never stopped you from meddling your nose where it doesn’t belong, now, has it? Always using the excuse that God sent you here on assignment, all the while you just been here for your own good, to be nosy. And now that Pastor Frey has got your nose all up in the air—”

  “Mom! Aunti!” Hudson came rushing down the steps with Sadie behind him. “It’s time. The baby is coming. Kells is in labor and headed to the hospital. I’m about to be a dad!”

  “Oh, Lord have mercy, child, we’ve got to go,” Mother Doreen said as she began to scurry for her things. She noticed that Bethany wasn’t moving. She remained next to Pastor Davidson. “Well, come on, child, get to moving,” she said to Bethany. “You’re about to be a grandmother.”

  Bethany looked at Pastor Davidson. “Wha . . . where are you going to go? What are you going to do?”

  Pastor Davidson shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll figure something out. I’ll just clean my things up off your lawn and be going.”

  “But you don’t have anywhere to go.”

  “Don’t you worry about me right now,” Pastor Davidson assured her. “You got a grandbaby you got to go see about.” He then turned away.

  Bethany stood there for a moment. She then looked at Mother Doreen who already had retrieved her purse and keys.

  Mother Doreen looked right back at her. “Don’t you even think about it.”

  “Sis, I can’t just let the man stay on the streets.” Bethany then turned her attention back to Pastor Davidson and said, “Pastor, wait a minute. I think I have an idea.”

  Chapter Seven

  “So, when will you be back?” Lorain asked her mother through the phone.

  “Oh, Broady and I will just be gone through the weekend,” Eleanor told her. “We’re leaving first thing in the morning.”

  “But I haven’t really gotten to see you since I’ve been back. I wanted to invite the two of you over for dinner.”

  Eleanor almost choked. “You . . . invite us over there for dinner? What we gon’ eat, girl? You ain’t never got no food there. And I know your tail ain’t been to the grocery store since coming back.”

  “It’s only Thursday. I planned on going grocery shopping and cleaning my house on Saturday morning, figuring maybe you guys could come over after church on Sunday.” Lorain ran her fingers across the nightstand next to her bed. “It’s amazing how much dust and dirt can accumulate even when nobody’s been here to dirty up.”

  “How about Broady and I have dinner with you when we come back from out little trip? Next weekend? It will be our treat.”

  Lorain paused for a minute. It really didn’t matter to her who cooked dinner. Her mission had nothing to do with food but had everything to do with spending time with her mother and Broady; mainly Broady. She needed to pick his brain. She knew that whatever pieces were missing to the puzzle in her memory, he had at least one of them. “Okay, Mom,” Lorain sighed. She didn’t want to have to wait until next weekend, but it looked like she didn’t have a choice.

  “Good,” Eleanor replied. “Now let me get off this phone and finish getting packed.”

  “All right, Mom. You guys be careful.”

  “We will, honey. I’m glad you’re back, and I love you.”

  “Love you too.” Lorain ended the call and then flopped back on her bed. She stared up at the ceiling. “Please, God, help me to keep my mind. In the name of Jesus, keep my mind.” The prayer was short, sweet, but definitely to the point. Lorain wanted God’s help at making her mind whole again.

  Going away on the sabbatical had helped a great deal. During that time of consecration, her mind had stayed focused on God and the things of God. He’d revealed so much to her about her calling and purpose in life. He’d assured her that He’d forgiven her for the mistakes and sins of her past and that she should forgive herself. But how could she forgive herself for things she didn’t remember and couldn’t see clearly in her mind, but could feel in her spirit?

  She couldn’t understand for the life of her why God was spoon-feeding her. Why was she still sucking on milk? She could handle the truth— the whole truth. Not just bits and pieces of it, but the whole hunk of meat. But for some reason, Lorain felt God didn’t think she could handle it. Thing is, Lorain didn’t know how much longer she could wait around on God before she took things into her own hands.

  She looked at the digital clock on her dresser. It was going on eight o’clock in the evening. She contemplated for a moment on whether to turn on the television and watch a movie. Even though the night was still young, instead, she decided to go ahead and get some sleep. “Why bother watching a movie anyway?” she said out loud as she pulled the covers over her body. “I probably won’t remember what I’ve watched anyway come morning.”

  “Who do you think people are going to bel
ieve, you or me?” Broady said to Lorain. “Folks aren’t going to believe someone like you.”

  She just sat there confused. She looked around the room, not knowing where she was or how she’d gotten there. “Ya . . . you,” she stuttered, figuring that was the answer he wanted to hear. “They’ll believe you.” She looked around, still trying to figure out where she was. Her eyes landed on the wooden desk, and then to the name plate on the desk that read “Mr. Leary.”

  “That’s right,” Broady said as he rose from the chair behind the desk. He walked over toward the chair where Lorain sat.

  Lorain’s sweaty palms gripped the arms of her chair. As Broady walked toward her, she became frightened and started shifting in the chair. The closer he came, the more he seemed to tower over her, like she was a child. But she wasn’t a child. She was a grown woman, but she felt as though she was trapped inside a child’s body.

  She relaxed a little once she realized that Broady was making his way past her and over to the exit door. She let out a sigh of relief, but then she heard a clicking sound. Lorain turned around to see that Broady had locked the office door and was now making his way back to her. He wore a lewd and sinister smile on his face.

  “Oh, God, help me!” Lorain began to mumble, but that was before Broady’s huge hand covered her mouth. Suddenly, everything went black. When the darkness was finally filled with light, Lorain found herself laying on hard, cold tile. She was in excruciating pain; pain like nothing she’d ever felt in her life. She began to take deep breaths as the pain subsided, but a few seconds later, it would come back with vengeance. “Oh, God, help me,” she found herself crying out once again, this time as she clutched her stomach. The pain was ripping through every fiber of her body, but her stomach seemed to be where it was centered. It was like bad menstrual cramps . . . very bad.

  Lorain tried to pull herself up off the floor, but she couldn’t, then everything went black again. When there was light, she was still in pain as she managed her way over to a huge dumpster and leaned up against it. The pain was so much. It was too much, too much for her to bear, so she began to black out again. She went in and out of consciousness until darkness blanketed her once again. The next time the darkness dissipated and light surrounded her, she was taking off her jacket and tying it around her waist. She was trying to cover up a stain on her pants. She didn’t want people to see. She didn’t want people to know. Seeing that the stain was completely hidden by the jacket, Lorain slowly began to walk away from the dumpster. Still in pain, she tried her best to hide it.