The Scale (Martha's Way)

by Mika Jolie

  “There’s something I want to show you.” His voice was strong and determined. He disappeared into the closet. He returned within seconds with an album in his hands. “Remember I told you I wanted to show you pictures of my mother?”

  Unable to speak, she nodded.

  “The picture in the kitchen is not who she was when she died.” He placed the thick album on the bed. “I will get us some wine.”

  Within minutes, he returned with two glasses of Sauvignon Blanc. Something told her whatever Jason was ready to show her had to do with the discovery of the scale, yet she joined him on the bed.

  The first few pictures were as Minka expected. Pictures of Victoria during her modeling years, beautiful and happy. They chronologically catalogued her life. There were pictures of his parents’ wedding and pictures of his mother pregnant. For a brief second, she found herself touching her stomach and imagined being pregnant with Jason’s child. She quickly brushed the thought aside. Unlike his mother, who still kept her model figure, Minka imagined she would become a whale if she were to ever become pregnant.

  The pictures that followed startled her. Gone was the healthy, happy woman. Instead, she stared at saggy, pale skin with visible bones around her chest and arms. The woman in the picture was still smiling, but the glow on her skin was no longer prominent. She looked lethargic and frail due to lack of nutrients.

  “Jason…” He looked at her. His beautiful blue eyes that usually shined were filled with sadness. Minka reached for him, touched his face. “I’m sorry.”

  “She thought she was fat after giving birth.” There was a coldness in his voice unfamiliar to her.

  “She was beautiful,” she said, thinking of the picture in the kitchen.

  “I blamed my father for her death because he cheated,” he said closing the album. “But I never asked him for his side of the story. I never cared. I just know he cheated on her and she couldn’t take it.”

  His stance wasn’t fair to his father but she understood. Instead of interrogating her over the scale, he chose to share his mother’s personal struggle with her. Grateful for the approach, she leaned over and kissed him as passionately as she could. She wasn’t anorexic, but her obsession with her weight had handicapped her most of her life.

  “I’m a little self-conscious about my weight,” she whispered over his lips. “And I have a stupid scale in your bathroom.”

  He chuckled. “I think I know that.”

  “I’m trying to lose weight.”

  “You don’t need to lose weight.” He kissed her again. His fingers found her blouse, and she felt him fiddle with the buttons before tearing the blouse open. “I will buy you new clothes,” he promised.

  She chuckled. “I’m not built like a model.”

  He tore himself away from her to meet her gaze. “I don’t want a model, Minka. I want you. How can I convince you of that?”

  She believed him. But in the end, she had to convince herself she was good enough for Jason Montgomery. Only she couldn’t force herself to reach a place she wasn’t ready to be. Besides, to let go of this demon would mean she had to deal with her feelings toward Blake. Part of her insecurities were tied to Blake choosing the thinner, prettier twin, something she had decided she didn’t want to think about, not yet. She had a lifetime for that whereas she had only days left with Jason. And being with him fulfilled her in ways she didn’t imagine were possible.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Take note of the number then get off the scale and live your life.”

  Steve Maraboli

  “How about these?”

  Rifling through the selection of clothing, Minka raised her head in Jason’s direction. He stood next to a scantily-clad mannequin in what was supposed to be a bikini. She thought the pieces would work best as dental floss. He raised his hands to show her the two pieces he thought she should try on. To give him credit, the bikini had a lot of material compared to most of the bathing suits in the store. She grimaced and shook her head, wishing he had taken her up on her offer to go bathing suit shopping alone.

  He pouted his lips with chagrin, then put what he thought was a perfect choice away. As he did so, a tiny blonde with extra-perky breasts in a tightly fitted tank approached him. Minka focused her attention back on her search. Since entering the store, the woman had barely made eye contact with her and made no attempts to assist her. However, she noticed Jason and made a bee line to him.

  “Hello, Jason. Shopping?” the clerk asked.

  Minka winced at the woman’s voice. She had a faint accent she couldn’t quite place, but guessed it was Eastern European since many students spent the summer on The Vineyard working. Though this woman was no student, she was fully grown with everything in all the right places. And her tone was too inviting.

  “Good to see you, Elsa. When did you arrive on The Vineyard?”

  “Last night. I believe you owe me a drink.”

  Unable to stand through the slow torture, Minka took a step away, putting some distance between Jason and his Elsa. But, the shop was small and didn’t grant her enough room to miss his chuckle.

  “That was last summer,” she heard him say. “The offer expired, unfortunately.”

  “Ah,” the pretty blonde with the perfect breasts sighed. “I’ll make you change your mind. You like these still, no?”

  Minka’s skin crawled with disgust. If only she had the confidence and was as vulgar as her sister, she would have walked over, slapped the both of them and screamed at Jason until she turned blue, or at least until she ceased to breathe. So he liked her breasts; Minka couldn’t blame him. Any man who preferred to be in the company of the opposite sex would enjoy them. Brushing a mass of curls away from her face, she peeked at the woman’s beautiful waves of blond hair. Minka’s teeth clenched and, if it had been possible, her eyes would have seared holes through the other woman. She was perfect with impeccable breasts, a bright smile and a flawless face. Minka disliked her right off the bat.

  Anger swirled like a red tide within her, rising to choke her. Her hands automatically curled into fists at her sides, itching to swing out and put a dent in both of their beautiful faces. She was jealous, she realized. The reality stung her. She had no right to latch on to such a feeling. They were temporary with a fast-approaching deadline. The weekend was advancing and then the countdown to their impending goodbyes would soon arrive.

  She must have stared at them too long because Jason raised his head and glanced at her. Minka quickly turned her attention to the bathing suits in front of her. With blind eyes, she snagged a handful of swimwear and made her way to the fitting room.

  “Minka,” he called out to her.

  Head high, she marched on, too furious and shaken to even look at him.

  “You are with her,” she heard the other woman purr. “Ah, I apologize but…” her voice trailed. “She’s not your typical…uh…”

  Minka didn’t need to hear the rest. The words stung. Pulling the curtains for privacy, she inhaled a deep breath and exhaled slowly to stabilize herself. The reflection in the mirror gaped at her, a reminder of all her flaws.

  The curtain swung open and Jason stepped inside. Motionless, she tried to gather herself and appear as unruffled as possible. Her breath caught, and the already tight room became cramped with someone who had such a large presence.

  She looked down, shifting her weight from one leg to the next, refusing to meet his gaze.

  “She didn’t realize we were together.”

  She smirked. That was obvious. “Of course. I’m not…how did she say it…your typical.”

  As he often did, his fingers came to rest on her chin and forced her to meet his gaze. She wanted to defy him, to prove to herself he couldn’t affect her and had no hold on her emotionally. Slowly, she raised her head. His bright blue eyes now seemed a shade darker. A shade of blue so intense she couldn’t describe it, but was now familiar with during the throes of passion.

  “I don’t have a typical,�
� he stressed on the word.

  “I’ve seen pictures of women you’ve been with.” She snorted. “I’ve met Rita.” Whether Jason wanted to admit it or not, he had a type. Tall, small-framed women, with breasts that could fit in his palm. Hers spilled over. “I’m not tall, not small-framed and my skin is not white. Have you ever dated a woman like me?” Her hands gestured over her body.

  “Do you think those are the things I see when I look at you? All the things you’re not,” he said, his voice strained and controlled. He rubbed his brows as if to ward off a headache. “For the record, I’ve dated many women; whites, blacks, Hispanics, I don’t care. But right now I want you, all that you are. Does the fact that I have tattoos bother you?”

  Hell no. They were an added bonus. “No,” she whispered.

  A relaxed smile touched the corner of his lips. “I’ve never invited a woman to stay at my house before.”

  “Why me?” What made her different?

  His lips brushed hers. A short breath escaped from Minka’s lips. The fact that her knees were getting weaker by the second didn’t sit well with her. No man should have that much physical hold over someone.

  “I don’t know,” he admitted. “It feels right so I’m going with it.”

  “Just like that.”

  The corners of his eyes crinkled as his smile broadened. “Just like that. I didn’t realize Elsa was here,” he continued in a softer tone. “I would not have brought you here had I known.”

  “Is there a woman you haven’t slept with on this island?”

  The question seemed to catch him off-guard. His brows rose with surprise, then he smiled. The same crooked smile that always managed to melt her away.

  “She doesn’t live here.”

  She crossed her arms and stepped back. “You know what I mean.”

  He reached for her hands. “You’re jealous.”

  “I’m not.” Oh, but she was.

  “Have I ever told you that you’re a terrible liar?”

  She rolled her eyes, hating that he could always tell when she was telling a fib. “I need to try these things on.”

  His eyes followed hers to the bathing suits hanging against the wall. “I think you should have gone for that bikini, but,” he shrugged, “I’m just a man who thinks you’re stunning.”

  Putting her hands on his chest, she tried to shove him out of the room. “Flattery can only get you so far. I’m still mad.”

  He let out a throaty laugh. “You’re jealous,” he corrected. “But don’t worry. She knows I belong to you and only you, Minka Greene.” He leaned forward to place a light kiss on her lips. Despite her anger, she parted her lips, accepting him. His arms came to wrap around her waist, pulling her into him. “You’re delicious.”

  “I bet you say that to all the girls.”

  His free hand reached to brush the curls away from her face. His gaze held hers. “There are a lot of things I find myself doing with you I haven’t done with any other woman.” His voice held an amount of intensity and candor. The magnitude of his admission caused her to shiver in his arms. “Do I scare you, Minka?”

  Oh, God. Yes. More so than the night at Vapor or in Oak Bluffs or any other time he gave her a glimpse of his struggles or shared something personal with her. Everything about him petrified her. On the other hand, she found herself wanting him more and more with each passing day. “You keep asking me that.”

  “You never answer.”

  Stepping out of his arms, she reached for one of the bathing suits for distraction. “Can you step outside while I try these on?”

  “I’m going to walk over to Vapor while you decide. Elsa already has my card. She’ll charge them on it.”

  “Oh, but…”

  He grinned. “Your shopping day is on me. I’ve destroyed enough of your clothes. Come meet me and we can have lunch, then go get sneakers.”

  “Thank you.”

  He smiled. “You bring me pleasure. I want to do the same for you in return.”

  “You do.”

  “Then we are on even ground, n’est-ce-pas?”

  She nodded. But as he walked out of the room, Minka wasn’t so sure they stood on even ground. Her feelings were becoming too strong. The fact that a few seconds ago she had been overwhelmed with a feeling of insanity and obsession colliding in her chest was the perfect illustration they were not playing on even fields.

  * * * *

  Vapor was packed during the midday rush. As Minka entered the bar, she noticed Jason was joined by Adam serving drinks. The two men made a striking pair, but then again, all four of them did. Although she had to admit Jason and Adam were the most opposite, one so fair while the other had tan olive skin and hair almost as black as night. They smiled at her and waved for her to join them.

  Sliding onto a stool, Jason reached over and placed a kiss on her lips. Then he stepped back with a smile.

  “What would you like to drink?”

  “You work the bar?” There was something appealing about watching him standing behind the bar in his jeans, preparing drinks.

  “Of course. It’s mine. Well, I own it with that guy over there.” He pointed to Adam, who blew her a kiss. “To my surprise, the lazy bastard was here working so I’m helping for a little bit. Do you mind? It’s a bit crowded.”

  She shook her head. “No, not at all. I’ll go find a table,” she said, not wanting to be a distraction.

  “No, stay here. I like looking at you.”

  She hesitated for a moment, then complied, “Okay.”

  Seeming satisfied, he stepped back and reached for a wine glass. “Wine, or should I make you one of my famous concoctions?”

  Adam leaned over his friend’s shoulder. “That’s how he gets laid.”

  Jason poked Adam in his rib. His friend winced in feigned pain and stepped away just as a pretty brunette approached the bar.

  “He’s a pain in the ass,” Jason said with a grin.

  She smiled, relaxed around the banter between the two. It was obvious there was a strong bond between them. “I like him.”

  He nodded in agreement. “Yeah, he’s like Enrique Iglesias’ mole. You can’t help but like it.”

  Laughter escaped her throat at the comparison. She remembered the devastation from the singer’s female admirers when he surgically removed the mole.

  “I will make you something. It may be a bit strong. Can you handle that?” She nodded. “How many suits did you get?”

  “Two,” she answered softly, not comfortable with either, but she had to buy at least one.

  “No bikini?”

  She shook her head. “No bikini.”

  At that moment, Maxie approached her and asked if she would like to eat something. Her initial reaction was to say no. In two days, she would have to wear a bathing suit and walk around half-naked around Jason and his friends.

  “A cobb salad.”

  After the younger woman walked away, Minka turned and watched Jason. His eyes were focused on whatever he was mixing. Giddiness and a feeling that everything was right swept her body. The feeling left her breathless and dazed. Minka searched for an appropriate word to categorize this wave of emotion, the only word she could think of was love.

  Was this what love felt like?

  For years, her crush on Blake had blinded her perception of relationships and her life. The last few days, Jason had introduced her to a new angle on any type of intimate connection. Her days with him had been exhilarating, stirring up emotions, feelings she never thought existed. At times, his actions caused her pain, like the incident with Rita or even Elsa earlier, but even those heartbreaks had stimulated a nerve and that was part of living.

  She couldn’t possibly have fallen in love with the man who made it clear he wanted nothing more than her two weeks on the island. For now she was his, but that would change once she stepped on that ferry to head back home. He’d move to the next. Yet, the knowledge she could only think of such a word to describe her state of mind
left her shaky.

  Too much came with love. The soft, sweet feelings walked parallel with fear of rejection or losing the person. She sighed; that was the duality of love. Scientifically, it might only be an adrenaline rush but emotionally, it was something most people craved, no matter how wretched they were and that included her. To love would mean she would have to lose her insecurities with her weight. But most of all, she’d have to face the spot Blake still held in her heart.

  Not now, she thought. Besides, there was no point in entertaining the possibility of loving someone who was nothing more than transient in her growth.

  A small glass came to rest in front of her, bringing her back to reality. She looked up at Jason and smiled. “What is it?”

  “I call it the Caribbean in a cup.”

  She lifted the glass to her lips and took a sip. The flavor was strong and delicious. “That’s wonderful. What’s in it?”

  “Ginger, rum, agave, and orange. You like?”

  She grinned. “I love.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at her. “Yeah.”

  Realizing her choice of words, Minka broke the trance and focused her attention on the delicious drink. She could feel him still watching her until two women approached the bar to order. As he made their drinks, she listened as he made small conversation with them, asking them where they were from and how long they were on the island. He suggested a few places for them to explore. He wasn’t flirting with them, but Minka could tell the women were intrigued by him. She didn’t blame them. It was impossible not to be.

  Tightness settled in her chest as Minka watched him, overwhelmed with emotions she tried to control but were so close to the surface. There was no denying it. She had fallen in love with Jason Montgomery. Blake’s best friend. She tried to think back to the exact moment it happened, but love didn’t appear with warning signs. Most of the time, one fell into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what was happening.

  Sadness pulled her heart strings. He wasn’t hers; never could be. How foolish of her to think she could have enjoyed two weeks with him and not develop any attachment. She should have listened to her sister or at least taken her warning to heart. Instead, she had brushed aside her words without a second to consider how he might affect her. She’d thought she was in control of the situation, but the reality of it was she never had a chance.