by Mika Jolie
“I was saying goodbye.” Her voice wavered, the words stumbled out.
A painful silence settled between them. Tearing her gaze from the window, she turned to face him and gasped at the obvious disappointment reflecting in his eyes, the pain of being stabbed in the heart. Minka understood it all too well, she had been there. It was the equivalent of being pierced with a sharp, pointed object by someone you trusted enough to turn your back on.
Weak in the knees, she reached for his hands and leaned in. He flinched but didn’t pull away. She held still in expectation he’d retreat from her touch, when he didn’t she licked her lips with cautious hope.
“I needed to say goodbye,” she said again.
“By kissing your sister’s fiancé,” he spat out. “You’ve hurt her.”
His words centered on her sister, but Minka knew she caused him pain as well. “I know,” she admitted, “and I will make it better. But I couldn’t let you leave thinking I have a thing for Blake. It’s you, Jason, it’s all about you.”
She searched his face for an indication that he believed her, for hope. Instead was greeted with the same cold, hard, flinty eyes she remembered from the picture she saw of him after his mother’s death. Defeated, her hands fell away from his.
After a long pause, he shrugged, and ran a hand through his gold locks. “I’ll have your bag delivered to the inn by morning.”
Her muscles jumped under her skin. He was going to walk away from her. She couldn’t let that happen. Out of desperation she reached for him again, but this time he stepped back, avoiding her touch.
“Jason, please…”
“Goodnight Minka.” The finality of his tone felt like death.
This time she made no effort to stop him. Seconds later, the start of the Jeep’s engine sealed her fate as it pulled away into the night, leaving her alone with the thudding of her heart. Her unfocused gaze remained staring at the place Jason had stood seconds ago. He had walked out of her life. She’d fucked up.
Her hands went limp, her limbs too heavy to lift or move. She leaned against the door. Crushed, devastated and numbed all at once. As the pain welled up inside her, she wept silently.
* * * *
Minka wasn’t sure how long she cried. Somewhere along the way, Keely and Blake had found her. It wasn’t until something warm was placed in her hand did she realize Blake was standing before her. The salt from her tears had dried the areas of her eyes and face and her skin stung when she touched it.
“I’ve been blind Minx; I never thought you might have feelings for me.”
“I don’t, not like that. I mean, I thought I did but I don’t.”
Minka placed the cup on the nearby table and buried her face in her hands. It touched her that after all that had happened Blake and Keely were still at her side, willing to hear her out. Releasing an appreciative sigh, she raised her head to meet their inquisitive gazes.
“I had a crush on you and I felt you chose the more beautiful twin over…” She let out a dry chuckle. “Well, plain me. It hurt for a while, but not anymore. I was never in love with you Blake, just the idea of you wanting me.”
“You’re in love with Jason,” Keely chimed quietly.
Minka nodded. There was no point of denying her feelings for him. “My kiss was a goodbye kiss. I wanted nothing to come out of it.”
Blake, who was still standing by her side, squeezed her shoulder, then walked over to place a kiss on Keely’s lips. “Don’t worry, Minx, no harm’s done. I wish you told me how you felt sooner, though. I’m sorry for inadvertently causing you pain.”
Minka shook her head. The last thing she needed from Blake was apology. It should be the other way around. “I hurt you and Keely.” She looked at her sister. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ll leave you two alone to talk.” With one last squeeze of his fiancée’s hand, Blake slipped out of the room and closed the door behind him, leaving her alone with Keely.
Disgusted with her actions, Minka twisted one of her curls and pressed her knees together. Her sister continued to watch her, but the wrath from earlier was no longer visible in her eyes.
For a while neither woman spoke. The only sound that existed between them was the ticking of the large clock on the wall.
“How come we’re not friends?” Keely asked, breaking the silence.
The question struck her and delivered an amount of pain and remorse Minka never allowed herself to be open to before. Avoiding her sister’s probing eyes, she searched her mind for a viable answer but the only two plausible excuses she came up with were weak even to her. You’re more beautiful than me and you’re marrying the man I once thought belonged to me. She never thought her actions or lack of, for that matter, had any effect on Keely. She never thought of her sister.
Stunned by the realization of the unpleasant truth, she said again. “I’m sorry, Keely.”
Her apology was met by harsh, dead air.
“I’ve always been jealous of you,” Minka admitted with a melancholy smile. “You’re the beautiful twin, the model turned successful designer with the handsome, successful fiancé.” She paused to fight back the tears but they were already down her cheeks. With a swipe of her hand, she brushed them away. “Mom is proud of who you are. Me, I’m just the fat girl. Yet, still, I am sorry, Keely. I fucked up pretty bad.”
Keely walked over and sat on the sofa across from her. For a moment, she remained silent and continued to watch Minka. When she finally spoke, her voice was calm and reserved. “For so long I couldn’t understand the wall between us. I fought so hard to have a close relationship with you, but you kept pushing me away.”
There was no contempt in Keely’s voice; it was filled with emotional distress Minka never knew existed. With her shoulders curled over her chest, Minka rubbed her wrists.
“We are twins, I know, fraternal twins as you often remind me.” Keely raised a hand. “But Minka, I feel your pain, your discomfort, your anguish. I feel it all, even the happiness you found with Jason. I feel that too.” She paused to examine Minka. “The question is do you ever allow yourself to feel my pain, sorrow, or happiness?”
The pointed question caused Minka’s chest to tighten with guilt. Thoughts filled with self-loathing washed over her and her cheeks burned with shame. The reality was, not once had she thought of Keely’s feelings or how her behavior might have affected her twin. And this made her the worst twin ever.
Keely rose to her feet. “That’s the difference between us. Everything I do, I think of you. Even dragging you here and asking you to be my maid of honor, even though I knew being part of my wedding was the last thing you wanted to do because you never showed any interest in my happiness, my life, but I wanted you here and I hoped it would bring us closer.”
Minka pressed her lips together from speaking. Nothing could take away the pain she had caused, the hurt and the betrayal.
“I’m not more beautiful than you Minka,” Keely said in that quiet, controlled tone, “at least not physically. You want to know the difference between you and me? I view things differently than you. I don’t dwell on my flaws; I don’t let my lack become my crutch.” She turned to Minka, her chin high, her eyes protruding. “You are a coward.”
Ouch. That hurt. Minka cringed.
“You should have told Blake how dating me made you feel. You should have told me. Instead you let your resentment stew inside you to the point where you threw away your own happiness.”
A wave of cold passed through her. “I want to make us better. I don’t want you to hate me. Please tell me you don’t hate me.”
“I don’t hate you. By tomorrow, I may even forgive you. But tonight I’m angry and hurt. I think I will be hurt for a while. But I’ll work on that and perhaps we can work on us being sisters as well. You think we can try…to be friends, that is?”
Were her ears deceiving her?
Surely Keely wasn’t giving her another chance.
With reluctance, she met her sister’s ga
ze and read the message loud and clear. No matter what, Keely still loved her. Her thoughts scattered, too excited to think and a smile that could no longer be contained spilled over Keely’s face.
Warmth radiated throughout her body, her racing heartbeat drumming in her chest. She might not have succeeded with Jason, but Keely was giving her another chance. Hope.
Ultra-awake, rejuvenated by adrenaline, Minka came to her feet, all the while quivering with the effort of controlling herself. She clasped her sister’s hands, with steady eye contact, Minka moved closer, into her twin’s personal space.
“Yes,” she answered in a soft tone. “I’d like that.” She actually meant it. “I love you, Keely. And I’ve been trying to be a better sister, twin.”
“You failed today.”
“With flying colors,” she admitted.
Keely’s lips broke into a smile. “Good thing I love you so much.”
Minka wrapped her arms around her sister and pulled her into a tight hug. Minka felt her hesitate for a fraction of a second. She didn’t blame her twin, showing her affection had not been Minka’s motto. But slowly, her sister’s hands came to wrap around her and for what seemed like forever, the two sisters stood in each other’s embrace as years of anger, confusion, and resentment washed away.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“There is no rating scale for love, it is immeasurable, but often times uneven.”
HTG
Minka fought back the tears as hard as she could, but her eyes moistened anyway. As she expected, her sister dazzled in her wedding gown, yet what struck Minka the most was the love on Keely’s face and the joy on Blake’s as her sister walked down the aisle into the arms of her soon-to-be husband. All the while, Claire’s sensual voice sang a rendition of Ben Harper’s Forever.
The lyrics were fitting, more like perfect. Keely looked breathtaking, sexy, and calm, quite contrary to the adrenaline rush Minka knew existed within her.
She tried to avoid looking at Jason in fear he might see she was also daydreaming of the day they stood on the green lawn of Martha’s Way exchanging their vows. But he drew her in.
As the best man, he was dressed in a single-buttoned fitted black suit with his hair slicked back away from his face. She remembered the first time she laid eyes on him and the amount of sexuality he exuded in the room as he was doing today. Something else was there, tension, in every line of his body.
The last two days, their paths crossed when necessary. As the best man and maid of honor, they were forced into situations together. While he spoke to her when necessary, even in a friendly tone, he made sure not to spend a second more than necessary around her. As a matter of fact, just yesterday, she had convinced herself she needed to confess her love and beg for his forgiveness but stopped short outside his office when she had overheard the female voice.
“So when are you taking me out to dinner?” Lisa, the magazine editor said. She was there for the photo shoot of the inn.
“Not this week, Lisa.”
“You’re still committed then. Too bad.”
“There’s no commitment. I gave my word.”
“Ah, and is there an expiration date?”
“Tomorrow.”
Unable to continue listening to the conversation, Minka had run out of the inn.
Today was their expiration. Tomorrow she’d be back on the ferry heading home with a broken heart. A self-inflicted broken heart.
She felt beaten and bruised with scars that would never heal. This beautiful man, who had his own struggles, had told her he needed her in his life, practically gave her his fragile heart. And what had she done with it? She had cruelly smashed it to the ground. She had betrayed him. At least that was how he perceived her actions.
Minka brushed the corner of her eyes, fighting back the tears, and as she did so, their eyes met. She flashed a weak smile in his direction. He looked at her, not returning her smile, his eyes dark and intense, swept over her before turning his attention back to the happy couple.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride,” the preacher officiating said with a smile.
The couple kissed. A sweet, passionate, wonderful kiss to a round of applause and whistles, some particularly from Adam and Forrest. Then they were announced officially to everyone in attendance as Mr. and Mrs. Alexander. More whistles and applause followed. Minka caught her mother leaning onto her father for a kiss, pride and happiness on both of their faces.
In the past, she would have taken it personal and thought of all her shortcomings, but today Minka shared their joy.
Jason came to stand beside her as they walked behind the married couple. An influx of sadness stabbed her heart, making her feel like she would never be whole again. She missed his touch, his kisses, his laughter. She missed him. Hard to believe how attached one could become to another in such a short time. And now they stood mere inches away from each other but the distance was never greater.
Minka sat back, soaking in the festivity around her two hours later. She had danced with her father and all the men in Jason’s life. Except for him. Right now he was dancing and laughing with Claire. That vision made her feel sick to her stomach, not that she should be or had any reason to be jealous of their relationship, only she wanted to be in Claire’s place. She wanted to make him laugh again.
Her mother came to sit on the empty chair beside her. No need to hide her misery, everyone knew she and Jason were on the outs. Still, she did her best to put a smile on her face.
Her mother’s hand gently rubbed her back. “You look beautiful.”
“Thanks.”
“You know, your dad and I love you very much.”
Minka nodded. Both of her parents were aware of the kiss incident. She no longer wanted to relive that moment in her life, and hoped her mother would spare her.
“He loves you too, you know.” Her mother’s gaze went to the dance floor. “You need to let him know you love him, hon. Everyone makes mistakes.”
“He won’t talk to me.”
“Then take over the situation and make him listen.” With a smile, Bea touched her cheek. “It’s time for the maid of honor speech. Are you ready?”
She nodded then came to her feet and nodded at the MC who quickly announced it was time for her speech. The dance floor cleared, Jason walked Claire to her table where she sat with her mother and Charles and joined them. Minka fumbled through her purse and pulled out the white sheet of paper.
Minka closed her eyes and inhaled. When she opened her eyes, it was to find Jason’s steady gaze on her, unwavering and probing. With all of her strength she transferred her attention back to the paper in her hands and delivered the words she had written with him in mind.
“Two weeks ago I came to The Vineyard for my sister and one of my oldest friend’s wedding. I confess this is the last place I wanted to be. You see, I envied their love. So when she asked me to be her maid of honor, I tried to bail, but she was persistent. And for that I’m glad. I’ve learned a lot watching and spending time with them. So here we go.
“We all know it’s difficult to find love in this crazy world that we live in. I’ve been struggling with the feeling myself. But you see, like my sister and Blake discovered love, I’ve discovered love. The last two weeks, I’ve come to understand what love means. I fell in love with this island. I love my family, my friends. I fell in love with a man. All of that, in two weeks’ time. Unbelievable, right?”
She turned to face the two people who had forgiven her stupid act. “I’ve learned love is accepting, especially self-acceptance. Compromising. Keely and Blake, learn to compromise because it is better to bend a little than to break. Love is anger, forgiveness, passion. May all of your ups and downs only be in the bedroom.”
The statement drew applause from the crowd and a slight blush from her sister. Minka smiled.
“But if you do have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you have the good sense to take the first step back.
“Take no notice of small faults, no one is perfect. You will laugh and shed tears together. And no matter where you are, in separate rooms or event distant cities, may you always be connected. So today, on this beautiful night, I ask everyone to raise their glasses and toast to Mr. and Mrs. Alexander as they start their forever.”
Minka looked up from her paper to where Jason had sat and hoped her message had touched him, only the seat next to Claire was now empty. He was gone.
Nausea pained her stomach, heart, and chest. Claire, who had become a friend, smiled sadly at her. Her legs felt weak and she held on to the chair for support. Minka felt her sister and Blake pull her into a hug.
“I love you, sis,” they both said to her.
“I’m sure he went back to his house to pack,” Blake whispered in her ear. “Go after him before he leaves.”
Pack? Jason was leaving?
“He goes to France for a month every summer,” Blake explained. “Go tell him you love him. He needs to hear it from you and not a bunch of stubborn ass men like me. We tried to talk some sense into him.”
Moved by the knowledge that each of his friends had fought on her behalf, she looked over where Adam and Forrest stood talking to the rest of Jason’s closest. The two men gave her an encouraging thumbs-up. She smiled at them, showing her appreciation.
“Here.” Blake handed her the key to his SUV. “We will find a way back to the inn.”
Besides the incident with Phillip, until the night at Vapors she had played safe all her life. Followed the rules, accepted being in the shadow. She probably would have continued her life as such, except she had fallen in love. It blindsided her, of course, because that was the last thing on her mind and was detected way too late.
Jason had pulled her out of her element, made her feel things, made her want to fight for love. Decisively she took the offered key with firm intention on achieving her goal—to fight for love.
