Hickory Smoked Homicide

by Riley Adams

  Cherry said, “I’m thinking maybe she was also tipping off some folks that she was onto them. Right? Then she’d have set the scene before she started asking them for money.”

  Lulu was quiet for a moment, thinking. “I’m trying to think what Dee Dee knew about some of the suspects. You said she spoke to Marlowe. Do you think she was just talking to her because it was a fund-raiser for Steffi? Like she was being nice? Or do you think that she was talking to her because she had something on her?”

  “But Marlowe wasn’t at Tristan’s party,” said Cherry. “At least—I don’t think anyone saw her at the party. But she was in town, like I mentioned to you before. I saw Marlowe at the beauty parlor not long before Tristan’s party started.” Cherry snapped her fingers. “And that’s Dee Dee’s beauty parlor, too. She and I have a regular appointment there on the same day, but not exactly the same time. So it’s possible that Dee Dee saw Marlowe driving into or out of the salon. The next day, that would have been an important point—that Marlowe was in town during the murder although she claimed to be on a business trip.”

  “I’ve already talked to Marlowe about it. I didn’t tell her who saw her, don’t worry. She admitted that she was in town because her business trip had wrapped up early. But she says that Tristan’s party was the last place on earth that she’d wanted to be.”

  Cherry took another swallow of her coffee. “So here’s what I was thinking. We’ll go around and talk to all the suspects again. And I’ll drop by your house from time to time like I did this morning, and we’ll rehash what we’ve learned. That way we’re not acting all secretive and suspicious over in Aunt Pat’s or something. We don’t want to end up murdered, after all!”

  “No,” said Lulu with emphasis. “We certainly don’t. How are we going to talk to everyone without looking suspicious while we’re questioning them?”

  Cherry tried to look modest. “I had a couple of ideas about that. Really, we can make it pretty natural, I think. I could tell Colleen that you simply don’t know what to do now that Dee Dee’s Darling Dress Shoppe is kaput. You’re inconsolable! And, since I know that Colleen has shopped in every shop in town, I’ll ask her to give us a little tour of boutiques.”

  “You’re coming along for that, too?” said Lulu with surprise. “I know you can’t stand to shop, and these shops won’t be the kinds of places you like to go.”

  “It’s a sacrifice for the case,” said Cherry with a small bow.

  “Why don’t we just ask her to give us some places to shop? I don’t think we need to be dragged all over town to see the shops for ourselves. And that might give us a little more time to talk if we’re at her house. We could claim that we’re about to go shopping and decided to stop by for a little advice.”

  “Sure—it doesn’t bother me to get out of shopping, that’s for sure. If we’re lucky, then Pansy will be there while we’re talking to Colleen. I have some ideas about talking to the other suspects, too.” Cherry bounced in her seat like she might fly off. “I think we have a good shot at cracking this case, Lulu! And before Pink even does.”

  Chapter 17

  That afternoon, after Lulu had checked in at the restaurant to make sure everything was running smoothly, she and Cherry hopped in Lulu’s car to take off for their “shopping trip.”

  In minutes, they were knocking at Colleen’s door. She answered it, smiling, but looking a little confused. “Well, hey, y’all. What’s up? Want to come inside?” Colleen held the door open for them, and they walked into her chintz-filled living room.

  “We’re only going to stay for a minute,” said Lulu a little apologetically.

  “We just had some quick questions for you,” said Cherry, making a show of sitting down so that Lulu would follow. “Lulu is so devastated about Dee Dee’s death.”

  Lulu was startled that she was suddenly supposed to produce a look of devastation on her face. She hastily managed at least a serious expression, since she’d still had her social smile on.

  “Dee Dee’s was the place where Lulu shopped. She’d been going to Dee Dee’s boutique for the last twenty years and pretty much gotten the same type of clothing.” Colleen and Cherry looked contemplatively at Lulu’s floral dress.

  “To cheer Lulu up,” said Cherry, with an air of philanthropy, “I told her that I’d introduce her to a whole new world of stores. I want to open her eyes to all the different kinds of clothes that she could wear.”

  Colleen looked doubtfully at Cherry’s tie-dyed top and skirt as if not completely convinced that Cherry should be a fashion ambassador, even for poor, unfashionable Lulu.

  “As you see, though, I tend to shop at some pretty hip shops,” said Cherry.

  Colleen made considering noises as if assessing the truth of that statement.

  “But as much as I love these shops,” said Cherry sadly, “I don’t think I can convert Lulu to shop them with me. I think she’s gotten too used to shopping at Dee Dee’s Darling Dress Shoppe. I told Lulu, though, that you’d be sure to know some good . . . transition stores for Lulu to shop at. Nothing too radical of a change, but some change. She has a gentleman friend that she’s seeing now, too,” said Cherry, blinking innocently and clearly ignoring the angry flush that Lulu felt spread across her face.

  “A makeover!” said Colleen with a squeal. Lulu’s heart sank. “If there’s a gentleman friend, it’s definitely time for a makeover!”

  Cherry tilted her head to one side thoughtfully. “You know, we really should think big, Lulu. Although I don’t know if you’re quite ready for a major makeover. Since you’re still in the grieving process for your old boutique.”

  “I’d welcome some small changes,” said Lulu stiffly. The idea of doing any kind of a makeover made her wince. She’d gotten too used to the clothes in her closet. “Have you got any ideas, Colleen?”

  Colleen clapped her hands together. “Makeovers are my favorite thing on earth, that’s all. Showing women their full beauty potential? That’s what I’m all about. It’s a shame that Pansy isn’t here or else she’d help us with some ideas, too. You know how great she is with fashion and beauty.” She squinted critically at Lulu. “Yesss, I can see some definite possibilities.” Her gaze zoned in on Lulu’s precariously arranged bun. “Yes, indeedy. You’ve come to the right person, Cherry. I know all about shopping!” She gave her trilling laugh. “There are several places I can think of that would just love the business, and I think you’d look so precious in their things, Lulu! Be sure to tell them I sent you. Let me find a piece of paper, and I’ll write down some ideas for you.”

  While Colleen was jotting down names, she said, “I know what you mean, Lulu, about getting all accustomed to going to one place or always buying one thing, then having it go out of business or be discontinued or whatever. It absolutely kills me when my favorite lipstick or eye shadow gets discontinued! Then I have to spend a ton of time trying to find the perfect thing.”

  Cherry shook her head mournfully. “It’s awful, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, I do feel that way,” said Lulu, with some surprise. The actual demise of the store really hadn’t hit her until a few minutes ago and she really wasn’t sure where she was going to do her shopping now. Cherry had come up with the perfect excuse, and the smug smile on her face showed that she knew it.

  “But I also,” said Lulu, determinedly bringing the conversation back in the direction it was supposed to be going in, “am upset about poor Dee Dee being murdered.”

  Colleen stopped writing and said, “Isn’t it awful? What’s the world coming to that a lady can’t even go out to her car without being gunned down?”

  Colleen, thought Lulu, clearly hadn’t gotten an accurate news briefing on the murder. Or else she was playing dumb so it wouldn’t appear that she knew too much. Surely Pink had given her the lowdown when he was questioning her at the fund-raiser.

  “The police aren’t treating this like a mugging, Colleen. They say that Dee Dee was murdered.”

  “Is
that what they were getting at the other night?” asked Colleen with surprise. “I simply couldn’t figure out why they were asking all those questions. I thought they were trying to see if any of us had noticed someone suspicious lurking around in the parking deck when we were going or coming.”

  Colleen’s expression was carefully blank, thought Lulu.

  “The police think that whoever killed Tristan also killed Dee Dee,” explained Lulu.

  “Why on earth would someone want to kill Dee Dee—on purpose?” asked Colleen. “It makes more sense for her to just be a random victim. A mugging gone wrong.” Colleen looked away, and Lulu got the idea that Colleen knew perfectly well why someone would want to kill Dee Dee.

  Cherry shrugged. “I’d gotten the impression that Dee Dee was pretty nosy,” she said. “Maybe she knew too much and somebody decided they had to eliminate her.”

  Colleen gave a shrill laugh. “Cherry, you sound like somebody who’s watched too many cop shows.”

  “Maybe I have.” Cherry gave a sheepish smile. “But I do think that Dee Dee’s nosiness probably got her killed.”

  Colleen wrote down a couple more dress-shop names but still seemed to be thinking about what Cherry and Lulu had said. “So the police wanted to know where we all were—those of us who were also at Tristan’s party.”

  “That’s right,” said Lulu. “And I don’t think they had an easy time of it.”

  “That’s the thing! There were so many people there, Lulu. When you throw a benefit, you really throw one. The restaurant was crowded with people. If I’d been told to keep my eye on everybody, I still couldn’t have done it. And everybody was moving around so much, too—getting food or going outside to listen to the band. As for me, though, I stuck around the food most of the night. I had a real long conversation with Marlowe, too, about Steffi.”

  “About Steffi?” asked Lulu. “Is she doing okay?”

  Colleen snorted. “She’s actually probably doing a lot better now that her mama is dead! I’ve worried about that child for so many years. Her mother always treated her like a redheaded stepchild.”

  “Speaking of Dee Dee being nosy,” said Lulu carefully. “She was telling me that Tristan was having an affair with her yardman. And you’d said that the yardman was involved with Steffi.”

  Colleen sighed. “Well, he was involved with Steffi. But it should come as no surprise that he was also having a fling with Tristan. Who wasn’t Tristan having an affair with? That woman had the morals of an alley cat.”

  “You don’t seem real surprised about it,” said Cherry. “I somehow can’t really see her hooking up with someone like that—he wouldn’t be high class enough for Tristan.”

  “Well, she wouldn’t have married him—she was more interested in getting back at Steffi, probably. Hurting Steffi. Because he was Steffi’s boyfriend—her first real boyfriend. And Pansy had told me that Steffi is crazy about him. And, like I’ve always said, Tristan liked to find out what people wanted most . . . and then find a way to take it away from them.”

  “Did Steffi know that he was cheating on her with her mom?” asked Lulu.

  “Oh, I’m sure that Steffi didn’t know. And it was so mean of Tristan to do it—that was one thing that child didn’t need . . . more hurt.”

  Colleen handed the paper with the list of shops to Lulu and said, “By the way, that was so sweet of you to hold that fund-raiser for Steffi. You could have absolutely knocked me down with a feather when I heard that Tristan was basically penniless. And in debt! She’d even grown up with plenty of money. . . . What a shame that she plowed through it the way she did and then had to put on some big act to show that she was fine. When she wasn’t fine at all. Then to leave Marlowe and Steffi to pick up the tab on all her foolishness.” Colleen looked irritated at Tristan’s supreme thoughtlessness in getting herself murdered.

  “The night of the fund-raiser,” said Lulu with a studied carelessness, “I was so busy with poor little Coco—you know she was sick that night?—that I really wasn’t able to even talk to Steffi at all. Did she look like she was having fun?”

  Colleen frowned. “You know, I didn’t see Steffi all that much that night. In fact, I looked for her for a few minutes to ask her if things were getting better for her—and I couldn’t find her.”

  Derrick looked at Cherry with horror. “You want me to do what?”

  Derrick, Cherry, and Lulu were sitting on the front porch of Aunt Pat’s a couple of days later in the slow period in the middle of the afternoon. Lulu poured Derrick another glass of iced tea when it looked like he might choke on the blueberry muffin he was eating as a snack.

  “I was thinking,” said Cherry, “that you could help your Granny Lulu and me with our detecting. We need to talk to Pansy for a little while without her mama horning in. We were hoping she was going to be at home when we were talking to her mom, but she was gone. We could try to catch up with Pansy at another beauty pageant.”

  “Although I’d rather not have to do that,” interjected Lulu with some determination.

  “So I thought—hey! Derrick and Pansy are about the same age, and Derrick said Pansy was even in a couple of his classes. Derrick could ask Pansy to study with him over here one afternoon. You do know Pansy, don’t you?” asked Cherry.

  “Know her? Not exactly. She and I hang out with totally different groups. And she’s in the really popular one with all the pretty people. I’m not even sure if she does study. Besides, I’m not sure my girlfriend would be real happy about me hanging out with another girl, especially a girl like Pansy, even if is to study.”

  Cherry looked peeved. “Rats. That would have been the easiest way to lure her over here. Y’all could have sat on the porch and gotten some work done, and Lulu and I could have quizzed her.”

  Derrick’s friend Doug stuck his head through the screen door. “Hey, man. You ready to go?”

  “Sure,” said Derrick. He hesitated a minute. “How about Doug?”

  Cherry looked startled. She looked more closely at Doug—his scruffy goatee, his long hair, his jeans with the torn knees. “Ahhh . . .” she said.

  “How about Doug what?” Doug asked curiously.

  Lulu said, “It’s nothing, honey. Want a blueberry muffin?” When Doug shook his head and still waited for an answer, Lulu sighed. “Cherry and I needed to talk for a while to Pansy. We thought Derrick could maybe ask her to come over to Aunt Pat’s and study with him one afternoon.”

  Doug plopped down in one of the rockers and stroked his goatee thoughtfully. “Only problem with that is that I’m sure Pansy doesn’t study. She’s a major slacker when it comes to school.”

  No wonder Pansy wasn’t counting on an academic scholarship. It looked like she really needed the money from pageant wins to pay for school. “We gathered there might be a few problems with that plan.”

  “Lucky for you,” said Doug, pointing a long finger to the ceiling, “that I have an even better plan.” Lulu noticed that Derrick was already grinning as if he knew what that plan might be.

  Cherry rolled her eyes. “Why do I have a funny feeling I know what this plan is going to be?”

  “I’ll ask Pansy out, naturally. It makes the most sense. I’ll see if she’d like an early dinner at Aunt Pat’s restaurant where I can get to know her a little better.” Doug’s smile grew as he considered the idea.

  Lulu knit her brows. “I’m not sure I like this idea, Doug. I feel like we might be playing with Pansy’s emotions, asking her out on a fake date. I liked the plan better when it was all about studying.”

  “A fake date?” asked Doug, putting his hand across his heart. “My dear lady, nothing is further from the truth. No, I’ve worshiped Pansy from afar for many years. It’ll be my pleasure to ask her out.”

  “Well, then, I’m worried about your getting hurt,” said Lulu, still feeling uncomfortable.

  Derrick guffawed. “Granny Lulu, Doug won’t get hurt. He’s a cult figure at the high school. All the girls want to go
out with Doug.”

  Doug pretended to preen, and Cherry knit her brows. “Really?” she asked with suspicious disbelief. Clearly, Doug’s scruffy appearance had not given Cherry the impression that he was some Lothario.

  “It’s true,” said Doug, with no attempt at modesty. “Perplexing, but true. I’ll go ahead and give her a call.” He raised his hand to stop Lulu as she opened her mouth in worried protest. “If she likes me and we hit it off, we’ve started a beautiful relationship. If I like her and she doesn’t like me, I’ll live. And I’m sure I’ll like Pansy, so we’re in good shape . . . Granny Lulu.”

  They watched as Doug proceeded to text a couple of different friends to find out Pansy’s cell-phone number. Minutes later, he called Pansy. “Pansy? It’s Doug James. This is last minute and everything, but I was wondering if you wanted to catch a quick bite with me tonight.” He waited for a second, and then nodded, smiling, at Lulu and Cherry. “Great! Tell you what, let’s make it early, since we have school tomorrow. Want to meet me over at Aunt Pat’s in a couple of hours?”

  Doug got off the phone and stood up to make a short bow while they all clapped.

  Derrick said, “But what about asking her the questions? When will Lulu and Cherry have a chance to talk to her?”

  “It’ll be easy,” said Doug. “I’ll just get up to take a phone call. Derrick, you call me at six and I’ll excuse myself and get up to take the call. Then Lulu and Cherry can fire questions at Pansy for as long as they need—I’ll keep an eye on y’all to see when it looks like I should come back to the table.”

  Chapter 18

  Doug was really laying it on thick, thought Lulu. But Pansy seemed to be eating it up. Pansy was a little larger than life herself sometimes, so maybe Doug’s behavior seemed natural to her.

  “Pansy, you look positively ravishing,” he was saying, and Pansy was beaming and hanging on every word. “I’m the luckiest guy in Memphis today. Hey, I didn’t mess up your plans for today or anything, did I?”