Then she decided to call Henry and tell him all about her future office. He was not at home, so she left a message: “Henry, guess what! I have just sealed the deal on that office over the barber shop across the road. It’s a long story, and I will tell you all about it some other time, because right now I am so excited I could be a nuisance just talking about it. Thanks for your encouragement. It was good advice.”
When the children got home from school, Nicole quickly noticed that her mother was tense and she wondered about it. There was something different about their mother that night.
Now, Barb had to pretend at being relaxed, at least till after dinner. Once Sam came home and wanted to know if everything was all right with his family, everyone calmed down. He and John had just come back from the East Coast and were full of interesting stories, which were quite entertaining — especially for Trevor.
Reaching into the refrigerator for beer, Barb offered both of them a drink. The evening was pleasant, but she couldn’t wait for her brother to leave so she could have a talk with her husband before he fell asleep, as he often did after his long trips. Trevor kept asking about all their experiences during their trip, but his mother told him he had to go to bed so as to be able to get up in the morning for school. At least, that was what she said.
“Oh, Mom! May I stay up just a bit longer?” He seriously wanted to spend more time with his father.
“Don’t worry, buddy; I am not going anywhere tomorrow, so we can go and get those skates for you tomorrow after school, as we promised. Right, Mom?” He winked at Barb in asking for her approval.
“Right; so get to bed now.” She could see the boy’s eyes shining to the point of tears and she was worried he might not be able to sleep.
“Good night, Uncle John. Will I see you tomorrow?”
“Yes, buddy; I will come to your game tomorrow night.”
After John left and the kids were in bed, Barb wanted to have that chat with Sam but she figured he was probably too tired. But Sam knew his wife quite well and knew that she was getting rid of everybody for a reason.
“So what is on your mind, that can’t wait till tomorrow?” he said, amused. “Get it off your chest. Is something wrong? You are being awfully bossy tonight.”
“Is it that obvious? No, no; nothing is wrong. At least I hope not!” She felt guilty by now and she wondered who else was aware that she was trying to get rid of them. “I didn’t mean to be that obvious. I hope they will forgive me. However, I do wish to speak with you about something as soon as possible because it is killing me not to. I have rented an office across the street, over the barber shop. It has been empty for a few months, due to renovations. Sam, I hope you don’t mind? I have wanted to do this for a long time — to get my work out of our living room.” Sam sat beside her, waiting for her to take a breath so that he could respond. “Say something, please.”
“If I get a chance to say it, I will.” He smiled at her and gave her a hug.
“Oh, I am sorry. I know that nobody ever gets a chance to speak when I’m excited.” And again, before he could say more, she asked: “So what do you think?” Then she waited for his reply.
Now it was his turn to ramble on if he so chose. Sam knew how frustrated she used to be every time she had guests for dinner and had to remove all her paperwork off that dining table; and their living room had no room for guests, so they always congregated in the kitchen.
“Barb; you don’t need my permission for anything like that. John and I are getting there, as far as the business is concerned, so there will be more work for you right there and you already have your own clientele as well. At the same time, I think we will all appreciate having a normal home, without an office in the middle of it.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” She looked at him with those pleading eyes.
“I don’t mind. So will I be allowed to go to bed now?” Now they both laughed. “I only have enough energy for a quick shower but if I fall asleep in there, wake me up, will you?”
The following day, Barb told the kids all about it. Everybody came to see her new office and they all were happy for her as well as for themselves — because, as Nicole put it, now they will have a mom in the family. She was the one who missed that mother-daughter contact after school, or in the evenings after dinner, since her mother was busy doing her office work instead of spending the evening with the family.
Henry was dying to come and see her in her new, improved office environment but he was reluctant to come on his own in case she wished to wait until she had settled in properly. However, Barb called and invited him to come right away.
The only one who didn’t feel happy for her was Susanne. “Barb, you seem to have plenty of confidence in Henry. Sometimes I feel that he is taking my place.”
“Susanne, you have nothing to worry about as far as Henry is concerned. It’s just that Henry is easy to talk to —”
“What do you mean? What is wrong with talking to me about things, like your office? And what is so big about renting an office, anyway?” Susanne snapped.
“This is exactly why I can’t talk with you about it. You always bring out the worst in me. You compare everything and everybody with yourself. Relax for a change and let me enjoy this while it lasts.”
“Fine; have it your way but don’t come running to me for help when you fail.”
Later, when Sasha and Dominic came home from school, they knew that something or someone had sent their mother off the deep end, where she preferred to be in order to feel sorry for herself. Neither of them dared to ask what was wrong. They knew that they didn’t really want to know.
As Sasha knocked on her brother’s door, he took time to answer it and the look he gave her told her how he felt. He would have preferred not to talk about it but he knew better.
“Here we go again!” Sasha sounded sad when she entered her brother’s room.
“Do you have any idea what has set her off today?” Dominic inquired. “I would ask but I have so much to study tonight that I can’t afford to spend a few hours listening to her complaining; not tonight.” He gave Sasha a pleading look.
“Very well, Dominic. I will do this tonight but I usually don’t sleep after these outbursts. She never gives me a chance to say anything to calm her down. She simply carries on and on.” Then she went back to her room to gather herself so she could tend to her mother. She prepared herself to go downstairs and ask her mother what was wrong. (The poor girl most certainly didn’t want to know.) These episodes occurred so often that she knew the difference between complaints and serious problems.
But before she could make a move, she heard her mother calling. “Sasha, where are you?” Susanne’s voice had escalated to a pitch that spelled trouble. “What is keeping you up there? I need you to help me, here.”
So Sasha hurried down the steps and found her mother on the kitchen floor, her hand bleeding. Sasha almost screamed: Susanne had cut herself as she fell over a chair, while she was holding a knife and cutting bread. But she was okay and that was not why she had called out to Sasha. In fact, she was not even aware that she was bleeding. So they looked after the small cut, and the incident actually helped because Susanne got a bit distracted by it. Her anger had subsided somewhat.
“Did you need something?” Sasha asked.
“I did; but now I can’t remember what it was. Anyway; your father wants you to come and see him on the weekend. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted you to clean up his place. What do you think?”
“With all due respect, Mom, I will have to say no to that. He did not bother to come and see us when you were in the hospital; so why should we bother with him now? He has no interest in us unless he needs us for some reason. Besides, his place is so horrible that it couldn’t have gotten to that state only since he hasn’t been well. By the way, I don’t think he is all that ill anyway.”
“He told me he was away when I was in the hospital. But tell me Sasha, what has changed you recently?” S
usanne was actually quite afraid to ask.
Sasha was ready to question her father’s strange absences whenever it was convenient for him. Where does he go and why? Something was not right, here. She was afraid to bring her thoughts to her brother’s attention. After all, Dominic had already rejected their father and felt only loathing toward him.
“Oh, I am just older now. I am not worried about myself, but Dominic wants so badly to go to university and get a degree in psychology and yet he can’t go because our parents don’t have the money.” Then, as soon as she said it, she realized what she just said. The way she felt about Dominic’s education was never a thing she wanted to talk about to her parents. Somehow it felt as if she had been talking to someone else and not her mother. She was not trying to insult her mother. In fact, that was the last thing on her mind. She loved her parents and knew that a lot of her classmates came from broken marriages. So this statement came out of her mouth quite unexpectedly, and she was sorry for what she said.
“Dominic never told me that.” Susanne was by now defensive. But Sasha knew why her brother never would have said it to their mother: He never expected anything from anyone.
CHAPTER TEN
The time had come for Henry to talk to Dominic about what was bothering him. He was not looking forward to that because he loved the boy and knew that Dominic was a very proud young man. As far as he was concerned, their family affairs were their private business. Dominic would have been appalled had he heard Sasha saying to his mother what she had about his education because he felt that he should be working on giving his sister the chance to get the kind of education that she wanted and deserved.
He had a hard time believing how well the week had gone so far. He was able to concentrate on his studies. It was going quickly, and on the weekend, he should be able to catch up on some serious studying. But that was not to be.
“Dominic, I know that you are supposed to be off this weekend, but we need you badly.” George Miller was saying. The boy was exhausted as it was, but now he would have no break.
“I am sorry, Mr. Miller, but I have too much homework this weekend. We are having exams next week, and I have to admit I haven’t had the best marks this semester. I am worried that my scholarship might be jeopardized.” Now he was worried about losing his job.
“Very well, my boy. I wouldn’t want to stand in the way of your education. Not to worry, we will manage.”
When Dominic arrived home that day, the house was quiet, which under any normal circumstances would be a good thing. But there was anything but normalcy going on in their house. Susanne had attempted suicide again and by the time the police arrived at the school to get him, he had gone home, stopping by the Millers’ place on his way home. There, he found a note from Sasha, saying to meet her at the hospital, where she and their mother could be found.
When Sasha got home, she had found her mother on the sofa, looking pale; she seemed to be having trouble breathing. This time, it was Sasha who called the paramedics and took charge in order to spare her brother. On the other hand, even if she had wanted him to help, he was not there to do so.
After the discussion with Sasha about Dominic’s education, Susanne went into her seclusion, and Sasha noticed it and became suspicious. She meant to tell her brother about it but had not gotten around to it. In the meantime, she had kind of kept an eye on their mother, knowing what Susanne was all about.
Now, after Dominic read the note, he immediately went to the hospital and, after some inquiries, he found his sister all upset.
“Oh, Dominic, I am so sorry about this. It is totally my fault. I never meant it to come to this. I had no intention of hurting her. Please forgive me.”
“Sasha, what are you talking about? What do you mean you didn’t mean to hurt her? Sasha, will you calm down?” He was beside himself. Now he had two of them to worry about. His mother had taken her usual overdose of the prescribed pills she was to take for her mental instability. But not knowing what had taken place between the two women earlier, he had no idea what his sister was talking about. This was simply another one of those nightmares that he had become accustomed to.
Finally, Sasha managed to explain it to him, and then he was able to understand the whole situation and to sort out the mess. Suddenly, he was extremely tired. All he wanted to do was to go home and sleep for a long time.
They kept Susanne overnight for observation, and the next day she was allowed to go home. Not surprisingly, their father was not interested in coming to see their mother at the hospital.
The next day, Sasha called Henry and told him what had happened the day before. Henry felt like crying. However, there was not much he could do about Susanne. She was out of his league. The woman held a dislike for him and never gave any reason for it — that is, not that he was aware of. Perhaps she felt threatened by him for liking her children. If only she could know how much Henry wanted to help her in order to help them all! But in her scrambled mind, she was incapable of sorting out the difference between good and bad intentions.
All this made it even harder for Henry to have that talk with Dominic, who was perhaps the only one who knew how to handle his mother’s insecurities. This was the very reason why he wanted to study psychology. Too many people have been misdiagnosed and too many of them badly needed greater understanding of what goes on in one’s mind.
Two days later, when Dominic came to walk Serge, Henry asked to go along for the exercise. Dominic was a bit puzzled but he welcomed the company.
“What brought this on? Not that I mind; in fact, I find it inspiring. But you don’t usually come along, so there must be a reason for it.” He gave Henry an impish look. He adored the old man, more than he was willing to admit, even to himself.
“Oh, I just wanted to have a chance to walk with you and have a talk. I think you and I are a lot alike except for the difference in our ages. Times have changed, of course, but people still make mistakes, and some make bigger ones than others.” Then, after a pause: “I have made mistakes in my time.”
“I doubt that they were big ones. Somehow, I just know that you are unable to be a bad guy.” Now they both laughed, and this eased the tension between them.
Suddenly, Serge stopped in front of them and growled at something in the bushes. The dog appeared to be a bit afraid of what he saw. Dominic pulled him back and tried to ease the tension, but Serge growled again and jumped. Now Henry interrupted and ordered his dog to back off.
Suspecting that they could all be in danger, he called Serge to heel, and they proceeded on their way. Dominic was impressed at how Henry handled it, but as they left the scene, Henry told him that this had happened before.
“I think maybe we should warn Nicole about this and she shouldn’t be walking Serge by herself anymore. One never knows what could be waiting in those bushes, when the place is so remote. Do you agree?” He looked at Dominic, worried. “Do you have a bit of time to come in? I truly wish to speak with you about something.” He patted Dominic on the shoulder.
“Yes, sure. What is so crucial that you need to talk to me about? Has my mother given you a reason to do so? I know that she can be very persuasive but she means no harm.” He stepped back a bit.
“No, no, nothing like that, Dominic. It is about your schooling. Or I should say, about your future. You have been rather short-tempered lately. I know that your sister thinks so, but she never complains. I can hear you sometimes getting rid of her with a touch of impatience, but she simply wants you to succeed in life. The thing is: do you really want to succeed? If you do, I can help you.”
“What do you mean? Henry, what are you talking about? You don’t know what I want or what I need to do in order to achieve my goal. I have to get top grades in order to qualify for a scholarship, but the way things are going at home —” before he could continue, he changed his mind about telling Henry of his dilemma.
“Oh, but I do know what is going on and I know you don’t get much chance to study because
of what goes on in your life. Why are you trying so hard to be a hero? Would you let me help you? I can lend you the money for your education and when you graduate and start earning big money, you can pay me back. I also know how proud you are and the last thing I want to do is embarrass you.”
“Lend me money? But what if I can never repay you? After all, one never knows what the future holds. I like you and trust you with all my being, but why do you put so much trust in me? Nobody has ever put me on such a pedestal in my entire life — except my sister, perhaps. I sincerely hope that I deserve all that trust.” He had to turn away in order to avoid the tears.
“We can make it legal, so that there is no vagueness, and we can put in a clause that says, should you be unable to repay me, it reverts to gift status. So, how about it? I would like to help you look after your sister, as well as your mother, but you should still get the education that you wish to achieve. The more you succeed, the better you can do for them. By the way, what is it you wish to study?”
“I would like to study psychology — but that is a long process and it may cost quite a bit.”
“I have savings and no one to spend it on; so why not humour an old man and let him help you?”
“Henry, I am very grateful to you for your generous proposition, but my mother will have a fit if she finds out that you are providing the funds. I don’t have to tell you how difficult she can be.”
In the meantime, Dominic’s head was spinning with excitement of the possibility of getting his prayers answered. Maybe he wasn’t hearing it right, or it was just a dream. He was tempted to pinch himself in order to face reality. This was too good. He must go along with Henry or he and his sister would never get out of this nightmare.
Henry watched with patience, realizing what the boy must have been going through in his young mind. He himself had had a normal, caring set of parents to look after his interests when he was young and he appreciated it now more than ever.
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