Matt

by Lori Wilde

  She found Ginger tied to a chair in the kitchen, a gag in her mouth.

  The sight tore a hole clean through her heart. This was the flip side of law enforcement. The side that hurt. Innocent victims caught in the middle. Savannah swallowed hard as she realized for the first time what Matt endured in order to do his job well. Clenching her jaw, Savannah took a knife from the drawer and sawed through the ropes binding her little sister.

  “Oh, Vannah,” Ginger exclaimed after pulling the gag from her mouth. She embraced Savannah. “I was so scared. I came inside and called Matt’s number, then that awful man jumped out of the closet and ambushed me.”

  “Did he hurt you?” Savannah demanded, her stomach constricting with unexpressed emotion.

  Ginger shook her head. “He just said rude things and stole your secret money.”

  Savannah pressed her lips into a thin line. This whole incident was her fault! She was responsible for placing Ginger and Cody in danger. If she hadn’t disobeyed Matt’s orders, none of this would have happened. Guilt roiled inside her, thick as hot tar. How could she ever forgive herself?

  “I’m so sorry, Gin,” she whispered, hugging her sister tightly. “So very sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” Ginger patted her arm.

  “Come on.” Savannah took Ginger by the hand. “Let’s go see Cody.”

  The sight of her son sleeping in his crib, his little face stained with salty tear tracks, almost undid her. How could she have been so foolish as to place this tiny child in jeopardy? She should have heeded Matt’s warning and checked into a hotel. What kind of mother was she?

  Ginger placed a hand on Savannah’s shoulder. “It’s all right, sis. Cody’s fine. I’m fine. We survived.”

  Savannah tugged Cody from his bed, pressed him to her chest. What would have happened to him if she’d been hurt or killed out there in the barn? He would have been an orphan at age one. Tears threatened, as her whole body trembled. Unable to trust her legs to support her any longer, Savannah sank down into the rocking chair and allowed herself to cry.

  Matt squatted beside Clem, waiting for backup from the sheriff’s office and the ambulance to appear. He held the shotgun across his lap and never took his eyes off Larkins and Thompson, who lay prostrate on the ground in front of him, their hands cuffed behind their backs.

  More than anything, he wanted to be with Savannah, cradling her in his arms, soothing her. She needed his comfort right now, but he was stuck here.

  For once, the arrest had not been satisfying. Usually, he felt an uplifting kick, a mental high from bringing outlaws to justice. But this time he felt empty, unhappy. There was no sense of accomplishment in knowing he’d been responsible for orchestrating this disaster. He’d never meant to involve Savannah or cause her harm. He’d only been doing his duty.

  His job.

  Lawman.

  The role that had defined him for five years. The job he thought he loved more than anything. But a job couldn’t keep him warm at night or fuss over him when he was sick or exhausted. A job was simply a way to make money—it shouldn’t be an identity or an excuse for a life.

  He felt vacuous, hollow.

  The nearing wail of sirens drew his attention. He got to his feet. “Well, fellas, looks like your escort has arrived to take you to the Huntsville cotillion.”

  Larkins cursed him.

  “Anybody ever tell you that you’re a sore loser, Brent?” Matt drawled, but he took no pleasure in goading the thief. Somewhere, somehow, the whole process had lost its magic. Was it the moment he realized the danger he’d brought upon Savannah and her family? The thought made him wince. He’d always seen himself as the good guy. Suddenly he was faced with a different self-image. One he didn’t like very well.

  Two sheriff’s deputies arrived to transport Larkins and Thompson to the county jail just about the same time the paramedics showed up to whisk Clem and Joe off to the hospital in Sweetwater.

  Fifteen minutes later, Matt stood alone in the yard. Neither Savannah nor Ginger had come outside. Matt took a deep breath. He had to see Savannah before returning to the jail to write up paperwork. He had to tell her how sorry he was to have brought her so much grief.

  Bolstering his courage, he knocked on the door.

  Ginger peered out. Her gold-green eyes, so like Savannah’s, stared at him.

  “Hey, Matt.”

  “May I come in?” he asked, hesitantly fingering his Stetson.

  Ginger stood to one side as Matt passed through the doorway.

  “Are you all right? Did Thompson hurt you?” Matt reached out to touch the woman’s shoulder.

  Ginger shrugged. “I’m fine. He just tied me up.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “Not your fault.”

  Oh, yes, it was. He should never have left Savannah alone despite her protests. He’d known better.

  “Where’s Todd?” Matt asked, remembering Ginger was supposed to be in Cancun on her honeymoon.

  “We split up.”

  “What?” Matt looked at her, startled.

  “Yeah.”

  “I hate to hear that.” He heaved a sigh. What a shame. Didn’t anything work out anymore? He saw tears glisten in Ginger’s eyes so he didn’t press for details. “Do you suppose I can speak to Savannah?”

  “She’s in Cody’s room.”

  Matt eased down the hallway. He felt like a grammar school kid going before the principal. Cody’s bedroom door hung open a few inches. Matt peeked around the corner, saw Savannah rocking her son.

  “Hi,” he said, stepping inside the room.

  She looked up. “What do you want?”

  He cleared his throat. There was so much he wanted to say to her, he didn’t know where to begin. ‘ ‘Uh... I need for you and Ginger to come down to the sheriff’s office and give us an official statement.” Unable to express his feelings, he fell back on duty.

  She said nothing.

  “No hurry.” He raised his palms. “I’m sure you need time to collect yourself.”

  “Okay.”

  “Listen...”

  “Yes?”

  “We need to have a long talk, you and I.”

  “Not now, Matt. Would you please just go?”

  “You’re in shock, Savy. Traumatized. Your thinking is skewered.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with my thinking, Forrester.” She shielded the baby’s head with her hand as if protecting him from Matt. “What’s messed up are my emotions.” “What do you mean?”

  She shook her head. “For a while there, I let myself daydream about what might be, but I was right to leave you the first time. It was ridiculous to think you could change. I’m sorry, Matt, I can’t let your job keep putting me and my son in jeopardy.”

  “Savy.”

  He moved toward her, his hand outstretched, his heart shattering into a million pieces. He thought the pain of losing her a second time couldn’t be worse than when she married Gary Markum. He was wrong.

  Lifting both palms in the air, she sucked in a breath. “I don’t want to hear it, Forrester. Please, get out of my house. Get out of my life.”

  “I spoke with a nurse at the hospital and she said Clem was in stable condition, but he’s got a concussion. They treated Joe and released him.” Ginger set a bowl of soup in front of Savannah.

  “We’ll have to go see Clem tomorrow,” Savannah commented, shoving the soup away.

  “Come on, sis. You’ve got to eat something.” Ginger gently pushed the bowl toward her.

  Savannah’s stomach roiled. “Okay. I’ll try.” She picked up a spoon and stared at the tomato soup.

  Try as she might, she could not shake the image of Matt’s wounded face from her mind. She’d cut him to the quick and she knew it. But she’d been forced to do something to get rid of him before she’d weakened and thrown herself into his arms. If things were different, if she didn’t have a baby, she might consider trying to make a life with him. She loved Matt with every ounce of her
being, but how could she be married to a man with a job so dangerous it followed him home and threatened his loved ones in the process?

  Ginger plopped down next to her. Savannah angled a glance at her sister.

  “What about you and Todd? Did you ever get hold of him?”

  Ginger nodded. “I called the hotel, and we talked. You were right. He was crazy with worry.”

  “I told you.”

  “1 suppose I did behave like a spoiled brat.”

  “You got his attention, anyway.”

  “Boy, did I. He was so frantic he had the local authorities combing the beach looking for my body.” Ginger grinned. “I guess he really does care.”

  “Of course he does. Anybody can see how much Todd loves you.”

  “Just like Matt loves you.”

  Savannah waved a hand. “Matt’s a different story.” “How’s that?”

  “I don’t want to talk about Matt Forrester,” Savannah said resolutely.

  “Todd’s catching the next plane home,” Ginger said, tactfully respecting Savannah’s request. “We’re planning on some heavy-duty communicating. He’s really upset.”

  “I’m glad you decided to try to work things out. I like Todd. He’s a good man. What made you change your mind?”

  “Being tied up and threatened has given me a whole new perspective on things. Made me realize what was really important and how much I really do love Todd. When you get right down to it, love is the only thing that matters, isn’t it?” “I don’t know,” Savannah admitted. “1 used to believe that once.”

  She loved Matt more than she ever thought possible. Despite her marriage to Gary, despite the five years they’d spent apart, despite the events that had unfolded in her barnyard, Savannah still loved him with a maniacal need that frightened her. Yet she knew they could not be together. It hurt too much to love him, never knowing when he might be hurt or killed. Living with the unexpected hanging over their heads. Always waiting, watching, wondering, unable to relax and enjoy each other like a normal couple. She’d already lost one husband. She couldn’t bear to lose another.

  “If you love someone unconditionally, you have to accept them as they are,” Ginger said.

  “When did you get so smart?” Savannah lifted the corner of her mouth in a half smile.

  “I wanted to change Todd, make him over to suit me. But I have to face the fact he’s a hard worker and he’s willing to invest his efforts in achieving his goals. I’m going to have to learn to live with the fact he might not always have as much time to spend with me as I might like.”

  “Are you sure you can live with that?”

  Ginger beamed. “I really don’t have a choice.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Because, Savannah, I just can’t live without him.”

  Sheriff Jameson clamped a hand on Matt’s shoulder. “Are you sure about this, son?”

  Inhaling through clenched teeth, Matt nodded. “Yes. It’s a decision I should have made long ago.”

  “I hate to lose you, Matt. You’re one fine lawman.” Matt shook his head. “Some things are simply more important. I’ve given the front line my heart and soul for five years. It’s time I invested my efforts elsewhere.”

  “That girl’s gotten under your skin, hasn’t she?”

  Matt nodded. “Today, when I saw Larkins holding that gun on Savannah, I lost my objectivity. I reacted instead of acted. I was no longer in control. Knowing that I’d placed her in danger... Well, Sheriff, I can’t live with that.”

  “I understand. If you change your mind, you always have a job here.”

  “I appreciate it.”

  They shook hands.

  “So, what are you going to do with yourself? You love this business.”

  The corner of Matt’s mouth crooked. “Thought I might give teaching a try. Officer training. And who knows, maybe I’ll become a rancher one day.”

  Sheriff Jameson considered the idea. “Yeah, you might be good at that, too. The things we do for love.”

  “A family man has to take care of himself,” Matt said, plunking his hat down on his head. “Can’t go around getting knifed and shot when you got a family depending on you. That is, of course, if Savannah will have me.”

  “You’re quitting your job over a woman you don’t even know will have you?”

  “Yeah.” Matt shrugged. “It’s worth a try. Giving up law enforcement is the only thing she’s ever asked of me, and five years ago I wasn’t mature enough to grant that request.”

  “I wish you luck, partner.”

  “Thanks,” Matt said. “I have a feeling I’m going to need it.”

  He walked out of the department and squinted against the late-afternoon sun, his thoughts tumultuous.

  What in the Sam Hill was he doing? Quitting his job for a woman who might not forgive him? He’d failed Savannah twice. Could he blame her if she rejected him again?

  Even though he was a lawman, trained to be tough, fearless and emotionally controlled, when it came to affairs of the heart, he was like any other flesh-and-blood male. Insecure. Nervous. Downright scared of losing the one he loved, but terrified of revealing his vulnerability.

  But this time, he had to take a gamble. Because Savannah was worth the risk.

  Five years ago, when he discovered she was preparing to marry Gary Markum, he’d made a big mistake letting wounded pride and hurt feelings get in the way. Rather than going to her and pleading his case, he’d nursed a grudge with indifference, maintaining a cool distance, when what he’d really wanted to do was snatch her away from that mockery of a wedding and marry her himself.

  So much lost time. So much heartache.

  And yet, with Gary’s death, he’d been granted a golden opportunity. A second chance to make things right.

  So he surrendered his job in hopes he could persuade Savannah to surrender her heart.

  Giving up his identity as a lawman gave him an unexpected sense of freedom. He could be anything he chose. A whole world loomed before him—open, free, just waiting to be explored. There was so much more to life than law enforcement. He could be a teacher, a rancher, a husband, a dad.

  Those tender thoughts tugged at him, created a vortex of longing so great he felt completely overwhelmed. He knew only one thing. He had to go to the Circle B, find Savannah and say all the things he neglected to say five years ago.

  Savannah wheeled her compact car down the graveled road, heading for Sweetwater and the sheriff’s department to give her statement concerning the events that had transpired at the Circle B earlier that day. Ginger had stayed behind to watch Cody. Later, Savannah planned to return in order to allow Ginger to go give her account of the incident, then pick Todd up at the airport in Abilene before coming home.

  Ginger’s words kept echoing through Savannah’s brain like a refrain from a catchy tune. If you love someone unconditionally, you have to accept them as they are.

  How true. Too bad it had taken five years, a heap of heartbreak and a confrontation with outlaws to drive home that fact.

  She loved Matt Forrester. Had loved him since she was twenty-one years old. But she’d been afraid to trust him, to trust her feelings. She’d been so terrified it would all disappear, turn to dust in her hands, that she’d actually generated the rift that kept them separated when their bodies, their hearts, their minds cried out to be joined together.

  Life had taught her she could depend on nothing. She’d only been able to marry Gary because she hadn’t loved him.

  Circumstances in her past conspired to create her lack of trust in not just Matt, but the world in general—her father’s abandonment of the family, her mother’s slow, lingering demise, being left with a little sister to support, Matt’s intense devotion to his job. She’d been jealous of law enforcement because it robbed her of Matt’s attention.

  Rather than risk the pain of losing Matt to an outlaw’s gun, she’d rejected him. At least that way, she’d been in control, not a victim of f
ate’s cruel tricks. But by renouncing his love for safety, she’d forfeited so much happiness, so much joy.

  Now, she was ready to accept him. No matter what his job. Matt’s love of the law was what defined him. His sense of justice made him special. Despite the dangers involved, Savannah knew she could finally embrace his life-style, wholly, completely, unconditionally. Because as she’d learned today, the present was all any of them had.

  Exultation engulfed her as she realized lasting happiness might actually be within her grasp. She pushed down on the accelerator, spurring the little car faster. She had to find Matt, tell him of her revelation.

  Question was, could he forgive her?

  Matt saw Savannah’s car whiz by him in a blur of blue. Immediately, he braked, did an erratic U-turn. She had to be doing at least seventy. Where was she headed in such an all-fired hurry?

  She left him in a billow of dust.

  Matt rolled down his window, then reached out to slap the portable siren onto the roof, gunned the Jeep and took off after her.

  The siren wailing, he honked the horn and flashed his lights.

  At last, she acknowledged him and pulled over onto the shoulder. Matt glided to a stop behind her, threw the Jeep into Park. Without even cutting off the engine, he jumped out.

  Her car door slammed closed at the same time his did.

  She stood there, wearing a white sundress, the late-evening sun slanting through the soft material so he could see the shape of her slender legs right through the thin cotton. Her honey blond hair framed her face in soft layers. The sight of her erected a wall of desire in his chest so strong and intense he almost bit his tongue.

  Savannah swallowed hard, stared at the tall, dark, handsome man in front of her. For once he was hatless, his black hair ruffling in the wind from passing cars. His brown eyes glistened with a determined light. His hard, firm, tanned biceps just begging to be touched, caressed, bulged beneath the sleeves of his red cotton shirt.

  Her arms trembled. Her mouth went dry. Her palms instantly were drenched with perspiration.