Never Back Down

by Susan Harris

  “Freya,” she gasped. “Freya knew all this time. And she said nothing.”

  “It seems so.” Thor said grimly.

  She gingerly got to her feet, pointed a finger and pressed it against Loki’s chest. “You, you tell me right now who my father is, or so help me, I will beat it from you.”

  Erika expected Loki to be at least a little outraged, yet he chuckled, the sound caressing her as she glared at him.

  “What the hell is so funny?”

  Thor clasped Loki on the back. “How did you not know, brother? She even sounds like him when his temper wavers. I shudder to think what he will think once he finds out that you have claimed the Valkyrie as your own.”

  Loki, with eyes of universes and galaxies, held her gaze as he said, “I claimed her before I knew who she was. I claimed her because she and I are one in the same. If only I can convince her my words are the truth.”

  She stomped her foot, anger turning to rage. “Oh, for fuck sake! Stop with the cryptic B.S and just tell it to me straight.”

  Thor nudged Loki aside, his big hand clasping her uninjured shoulder. “You, Erika, are the daughter of Livana, and of our friend and fierce warrior, who I have had the honour of fighting alongside, as I have done with you today. You are no mere Valkyrie, you are the daughter of the god of war, my friend, Tyr.”

  Erika blinked. She was the daughter of a god? But that meant? She was… she was?

  Loki grinned at her. “That means that you, my darling, are a goddess. The goddess of war, in fact.

  Her head spun. Loki was speaking to her, but she couldn’t hear his words.

  Every time she had lost her temper, every time she had answered back to Freya, arguing that her plan of action was better, every single snide remark made by Danae about Erika’s heritage and all along she was a goddess. War was in her blood; it was in her makeup.

  But that did not take away the fact that Tyr happened to be a stranger. As Erika looked up and saw lust in Loki’s eyes, she couldn’t help but wonder if he knew all along who and what she was.

  His gaze narrowed as he read her thoughts, a small sigh escaping his lips. “That is not something I would have kept from you, Erika. Whatever you think of me, I have never lied to you.”

  Thor, oblivious to what was going on around him, clapped his hands before reaching down and swinging his hammer over his shoulder. “Come, let us return to Asgard and bring Tyr is daughter. I know he would come himself, but someone must stay behind to guard Asgard from Odin.”

  Erika backed away. “I’m not going to Asgard. I don’t want to meet him. He would have known. Surely, he would have felt me when I ran through the halls as a child with Ever. We must have crossed paths, and he never once came looking for me. I never heard of anyone looking for the lost child of Livana.”

  Thor scratched his head with the handle of his hammer. “Tyr knew that assassins had killed Livana. He could not risk your life by announcing you to the world. Livana never told a soul who your father was. Their relationship was a secret one. If someone had captured you, think of what they could do with the god of war, if they controlled him. I assume that is what Odin wanted with you.”

  With the shake of her head, Erika mumbled, “It doesn’t matter. This changes nothing. I’m still me.”

  Loki, a sad smile on his face, came forward. “Of course you are, Erika. You are still the brave, reckless, cunning, funny and sarcastic woman I know and who I…”

  Holding up a finger, Erika growled. “Don’t say it. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. I am not her, this goddess of war that you proclaim me to be. I am Erika, daughter of no one, born of sand and blood. I am a Valkyrie and I am a general. I will not be someone’s pawn, and I certainly will not be someone’s plaything.”

  Gesturing between herself and Loki, she continued, “This thing between us, whatever it is, it’s over. Do not come after me.”

  First, she flashed to the nearest place that sold alcohol, grabbed a bottle of Jack from behind the counter, tossed some notes to the cashier, and flashed to the shores of Valhalla.

  As soon as her feet touched the sand, Erika screamed into the abyss and dropped to the sand. Unscrewing the bottle, she gulped down a fair amount, relishing the burn at the back of her throat before she paused for air. Beating a fist into the sand, she let the tears fall down, gulping down another shot of Jack, before she felt him on the sand behind her.

  Of course, Loki would not have listened to her. Trying her best to ignore him, she felt the waves of anger seeping from him, and she lifted the half-empty bottle of Jack in salute. “Please, leave. Jack and I are having a party in the sand and you are not invited. Go find some other poor sap to warm your bed. I’m done.”

  She yelped as Loki yanked her off the ground, almost causing her to lose Jack, and pressed his lips hard against hers. When Erika, who wanted nothing more than to drown herself in Loki, remained stiff and unyielding, he pulled back, his hands clasping her face.

  “You do not just get to make that decision out of fear, Erika. You paint me to be this nefarious character and perhaps I am. But I have not, and will not, speak a word of untruth to you. I will gladly play this villain, if you really want to be painted as the hero.”

  She shoved at his chest, but the stubborn bastard refused to move. “I never claimed to be the hero. I feel like I’m sinking in quicksand. Everything I thought I was has changed with the click of fingers, and I don’t know how to deal. I could stand by, thinking that I loved Ever and watch her with Derek because it was destined to be that way. But I can’t let myself love you, and then later have to watch you be with someone else.”

  Loki leaned in, his lips mere inches from her own, his breath warm on her skin. “I do not like to share either. Thor was right when he said Tyr will likely strangle me for claiming you as my own. And I do claim you, Erika, daughter of no one. And I have claimed you long, long ago. Let me show you.”

  He pressed two fingers to her temple, and Erika’s body jerked as the world tinged grey before she found herself looking at a late teen version of herself through Loki’s eyes.

  Oh, she is magnificent.

  I stood watching her for far too long, hidden from eyesight, but every now and then, this girl who made me yearn for something more for the first time in an eon, glanced in my direction as if she knew I watched her. It was like I felt her every single time she accompanied Ever to the keep, using my sister’s visit as a mask to see the Valkyrie whose smile lit up the room.

  And pierced the wall encasing my heart.

  The sky glistened with starlight, as she moved her body, eyes shut, her movements fluid and instinctive. Having watched her for hours, the other Valkyrie had retired for the evening, but not the general. She stayed long after day became dusk and dusk became night.

  Her eyes snapped open. For a moment they appeared to hold mine, and I could almost believe she could see through my invisibility. See me. Opening a bottle of water, she gulped down the entire thing before smiling in my direction.

  I stepped out of the shadows, her pulse racing as I became visible, and I hated how much it thrilled me.

  “How long have you been standing there?”

  I felt my lips tug up into a smile. “Longer than you’d like.”

  Folding her arms across her chest, she tossed her hair off her shoulders. “So you came to see Ever, right? She’s back at her place with Freya.”

  I inched closer, wanting to get as near to her as possible, despite knowing it would be centuries before I could touch her. She may look like a grown woman, yet she was still a child. I would not stifle her growth with my possessiveness too soon.

  “And if I said I’d come to see you?”

  She laughed, and an iron fist gripped my chest. “I’d call you a liar. Anyways, I gotta get some sleep before the sun rises. See ya around, Loki.”

  I did not reply, simply watched her walk away from me, arguing with myself as I longed to follow her and hold her as we slept. I did not know what wa
s becoming of me, but I knew this Valkyrie warrior would be my undoing.

  Erika stumbled backward as Loki removed his fingers. She felt it, the intensity in which he loved her, how he kept his distance to allow her space to live and grow, and she managed to clutch a thought from his mind before he released her.

  “You haven’t been with anyone since you realized you might feel something more for me.”

  Loki inclined his head. “I tried, for a time, to rid myself of my obsession for you. But each bedfellow I had left me feeling hollow. When I thought on it, I realized that I could not be satisfied with anyone but you.”

  She put a hand to her mouth. “And you let me sleep around and said nothing.”

  “It was not my place to stop you. I had to believe that you would find me in the end.”

  He reached out and tilted her head up. “Turns out, we were both created in chaos, we were both born to destroy. You, Erika, were like war, and I was like death. And when we clashed, darling, I loved you.”

  Crushing his lips to hers, Erika kissed him back, her hand sliding up to tug at his hair, finally understanding what it was to be loved. Lost in each other’s touch, Erika failed to sense the entity behind them. They were only alerted by the clearing of a throat.

  Loki, bless him, shoved Erika behind him, trying to protect her, an action that had her lifting her brows. She stepped beside him and laced her fingers into his. He did not seem surprised by their visitor, the braided hair and chocolate of her skin reminding Erika of a forgotten people who lived in remote villages.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I have come to see if you have changed.”

  The woman came closer and Erika could smell the magic on her skin. She reached for a blade, remembering with a groan that they were lying in the octagon covered in berserker blood.

  “Fear not, little Valkyrie. I bear good tidings.” She clapped her hands twice, clicked her fingers and muttered to herself before stamping her feet and tossing some dust in Loki’s direction.

  He coughed and hissed out a breath.

  “Loki, forgotten son of Jutenhiem, put yourself in harm’s way to protect this girl. You allowed her into your heart, abstained from having lovers because you knew she was the one you wanted forever.”

  “If you say so.”

  “The old you, the one who slept with my granddaughter and ruined her, spent a lifetime watching over Erika, putting your own feelings aside to make her happy. That is why I lifted the curse. She has made you better.” The woman turned to Erika. “You did not want to love him, for you were terrified of being abandoned like your mother did to you. The future can be saved, but only if you stick together.”

  The woman disappeared in the blink of an eye. Erika peered up at Loki. “A curse?”

  He leaned down to brush his lips over hers. “That is a story for another day. Let’s go home. Shall we go to your place or mine?”

  She smiled, her heart feeling like it might burst, while her thoughts raged inside her mind. What was it the strange woman had said? The future can be saved, but only if you stick together.

  “You need to take me to Ever’s right now!”

  “Darling, I like your enthusiasm.”

  She smacked him gently on the shoulder. “Shush, I have an idea on how to stop Odin. We must go to Ever’s.”

  He pulled her close, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. A second later, they were standing in Ever’s living room, she shrieked and leapt up from the couch, book in hand poised to strike.

  “Are you seriously gonna hit me with a book?”

  “If I had something heavier, I’d fling it at your heads. At least knock before you flash in and scare me half to deat– what happened to your shoulder?”

  Erika detangled herself from Loki. “Your dad thought I could do with a dose of lightning to the chest. Well, he aimed for Loki and like an idiot I pushed him out of the way.”

  “It was rather noble,” he said with a grin and flopped down onto the couch, his legs dangling over the edge, a tumbler in his grasp.

  “And then Thor appeared, Loki blasted Odin with ice, we kicked some berserker ass. I found out that I am the daughter of the god of war, oh and me and your brother have decided to give things a go. You cool with that?”

  Ever’s mouth dropped open, she tried to speak, and then shook her head. Walking over to take the tumbler from Loki, Ever said, “I need a drink.”

  When she had composed herself, she turned back to Erika and gave her a small smile. “So, Tyr is your father?”

  Erika shrugged. “I guess so.”

  “Are you going back to Asgard?”

  “Hell no. Midgard is too much fun.”

  Ever looked at Loki and then back at Erika. “Are you sure about this?”

  Looking into the ocean coloured eyes of her best friend, Erika’s heart did not flutter, it did not skip a beat or race while Ever held her gaze. “Yes, I’m in love with him.”

  “Then, that is all that matters.”

  Erika set a hand on Ever’s arm. “Let me apologize.”

  Ever yanked Erika in for a hug. “There is no need for any apologises. I’m gorgeous, how could you not think you were in love with me?”

  They both started to laugh as Erika said, “You are definitely spending too much time with me, that’s totally something I’d say.”

  Tucking her legs under her butt, Ever sat down on the armchair. “So, Odin is awake and causing trouble.”

  “Thor has gone in search of him, but no doubt he will come visit soon. He is eager to see you.” Loki said with a smile.

  Ever smiled, but turned to look at Erika. “So why the late-night visit? What’s got your eyes twinkling in mischief?”

  Folding her arms across her chest, Erika smiled, because she was the goddess of war and if that was what Odin wanted, then who was she to deny him a glorified death. Because Loki was right, she was war and he was death, and together, they were unstoppable.

  Loki lifted the new tumbler in his grasp in salute, and Erika turned and faced Ever.

  “I need you to call Boyband and get the team here. It’s time they all learned the truth.”

  Ever pulled her phone out of her jeans and hesitated before dialing the number. “What have you in mind, Erika?”

  Erika grinned. “I am a general. I am the goddess of war. And I am putting together an army. Let’s see who has the balls to volunteer.”

  Ricky

  “I knew we should have thought this through more.”

  “Donnie, how were we supposed to know he would go nuclear on us?”

  “I know, Derek, but it’s my mate that’s bawling her eyes out thinking she killed the idiot.”

  Ricky heard the distorted voices of his friends as he woke up with the mother of all hangovers. It took a serious amount of effort for him to open his eyes, lifting his lids slowly, almost closing them again against the glare of the lights overhead. The floral wallpaper was not his cup of tea, so he knew he wasn’t at his house, the memory of going to Caitlyn’s house last night slowly coming back to him. He made to lift his arm and shield his eyes from the light, but found that his arm would not move.

  Glancing down at his wrists, he saw that they were manacled to the bed in some way, preventing him from moving. A quick wiggle of his legs confirmed his suspicions. He was tied down.

  “Kinky,” he grumbled, snapping the attention of his two besties. He tried to get comfortable. The pressure in his head made him want to scream at the top of his lungs, but from the expressions on Donnie and Derek’s faces, doing so might actually get him killed. What the hell had happened to put that terror in their eyes?

  Memories came back in a wave that brought tears to his eyes. Ricky huddled in a corner begging them to not drain the drugs from his system, Melanie talking him down, Caitlyn drinking his blood and then the magic, all the pent-up magic in his system had exploded from him and tried to fucking kill him.

  “Did I hurt anyone?” he managed to croak
out, but his friends remained silent.

  “Derek, who the hell did I hurt?”

  Derek came over to crouch by the side of the bed. “When the drugs left your system, you sounded like you were being ripped apart. We tried to stop you, but you were on fire. Donnie managed to get you in a headlock and knock you unconscious. He’s fine now after some blood.”

  Ricky closed his eyes so that his friends would not see the shame in them. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

  “Don’t sweat it, Ricky. I always said I was smoking hot. You just went literal with it.”

  Ricky barked out a laugh. “How can you joke when I could have killed you?”

  Donnie shrugged. “I should have known better, as someone who drank your blood once. Since then, your magic has grown, and I saw what it was doing to you.” Donnie tapped the side of his head. “I knew what was going on and said nothing, too caught up in drama with Cait and Melanie. I let you down, mate. I’m sorry.”

  Ricky shook his head, but Donnie went on. “I’m gonna go tell Cait that you’re awake. She’s been beside herself all day waiting for you to come around. Been muttering in French as she came down from the high. Under normal circumstances, Caitlyn stoned would be hilarious. Gimmie a sec.”

  The big man left the room with an ease that should not have been possible for a man of his size. Ricky watched Donnie leave, his shoulders slumped, and cursed himself for being such a burden.

  Rattling the chains, Ricky angled his head to get a clearer view of Derek. “Fancy taking the handcuffs off now, D? I feel fine.”

  He shook his head. “That’s because the chains are spelled to contain magic. We are waiting for something that will help you, in a safe way, to arrive and then I’ll let you free.”

  So, that was why he couldn’t feel the magic inside himself.

  “Can you at least take the leg ones off so I can sit up?”

  Derek rose, walked down to the end of the bed and unlocked the cuffs, and Ricky scooted to an upright position, arching his feet to remove the stiffness. Silence ensued for a minute or two before Ricky plucked up the courage to ask the question he was dreading.