Team Newb

by M Helbig

  Completion Objective: Gather 3 Deer Carcasses and place them in the marked locations around Farmer Fran’s field.

  Reward: Farmer’s Overalls, 300 EXP, 2 silver, +50 Faction with Highwall

  I gave him a thumbs up, and he went back to pretending I wasn’t there. I made my way to the area that Olaf had shown me before and almost ran straight into a pack of wolves. Fortunately, they were looking the other way and hadn’t aggroed.

  Not needing to kill the wolves, I circled back through the field and entered the forest from the opposite direction. This time I went slow and paid attention. It was good thing I did because there was another pack of wolves about fifty feet away staring straight at me as I pushed through the first bush. They didn’t aggro, but they also didn’t move away; the leader just stared, like it was daring me to move closer so it could attack. I moved diagonally out of the bush and its eyes followed me the whole way. After I edged to a clearing, I backpedaled away from it. The wolf finally stopped looking at me when I got about a hundred and fifty feet away.

  I spent the next thirty minutes edging around wolves, until I finally sighted my first deer in the distance. It was roughly three hundred feet away and further reconnaissance determined that there was no way to get to it or any other deer without fighting wolves. Olaf’s warning about how dangerous they were for my level ran through my mind, but it appeared there was no other way if I wanted to complete the quest and get gear decent enough to join his group. I stalked a pack of wolves until one of them loped away from its brethren to attack a robin that Inspect told me was level zero.

  It soon began munching on its meal with a complete lack of anything resembling table manners. Remembering Olaf’s fight, I decided to try to sneak up on it and take advantage of the bonus for hitting a vital area. I also wanted to see if I could unlock the Flanking Attack skill and if the game had some sort of stealth skill I could unlock as well. While the wolf was still busily munching away at his meal, I slowly inched forward, getting about five feet away. As I raised my arm over the back of its neck, I inadvertently caught my foot on a root and tumbled down. I did manage to land an awkward blow on the side of its muzzle as I fell, but by doing so didn’t brace myself for the landing. My reward was a white 3 on the wolf and a red 2 on myself.

  The wolf quickly recovered from my attack and rolled to the side, biting me in the midsection as I tried to rise. With no chance to dodge, it easily got a critical hit of 7! I was down to 31 HPs and considered trying to make a run for it, until I noticed the pain in my right ankle as I rose. A red icon in the corner of my vision told me I had a Sprained Ankle and my movement would be slowed by 50% for the next two minutes. The wolf could probably outrun me in that state, so I had to fight.

  It aimed for the same weak spot as I stood, but this time I was ready and managed to twist to the side to avoid it. With the wolf straight in front of me, hitting it in the neck would be almost impossible. I assumed its eyes qualified as vital areas too, but with its head bouncing around so much, figured that would be too difficult—so I decided to just stick to normal attacks and hope that would be enough.

  I lashed it across the snout with my Inferior Shamshir for a 6. The wolf nicked me in the side of my leg for a 2, but this time I braced myself for the pain and was able to turn it into a positive by catching the wolf on the side of the head right below the eye for an 8! The wolf shook violently and growled. At first, I thought I’d inflicted some sort of status aliment on it—likely tetanus from the rust on my blade—but realized at the last second it was readying its special attack.

  Barely leaping to the side, I almost tripped over the same root as before. I fumbled my blade under the stunned neck of the beast and sliced it at half strength. The 23! was barely enough to end its life. The tiny beast toppled, and I quickly looted it. The Wolf Paws were junk, but at least it was something. I got 60 experience and a -5 faction hit to “The Wolf Pack.”

  A deer was now only two hundred feet away, and I took a step forward in my excitement before remembering my earlier lessons about not charging straight into dangerous areas. As I stopped, I noticed a tuft of wolf hair sticking out from behind a tree nearby. I stalked toward it and managed to catch it unawares, hitting it under its neck and being rewarded with 22! A minute and 5 damage on my shin later, it was dead. Sighting two more in the way, I decided to wait until I healed up to full before taking them out separately. Olaf’s tip about hitting vital areas really paid off. The last one even unlocked the Flanking Attack Skill. I didn’t hesitate to take it.

  With my confidence at an all-time high, I charged toward my first deer. For some reason, it didn’t like the idea of a crazy guy with a sword charging at it and ran away, straight into the path of a wolf. The wolf joined in, and I barely managed to get the killing blow in before it did. Like a player angered over another player taking their kill, the wolf immediately turned on me. Without the advantage of getting a vital attack on it to start the fight, I finished with only 3 HPs and to add insult to injury, both the wolf and deer had nothing on them.

  After waiting an excruciating thirty minutes to heal back up to full, I tracked my next deer down. This time I made sure to approach slowly and unnoticed. When I got within ten feet, I leapt up from my crouch and charged. I barely managed to stretch out and catch its back flank with my blade for 2. The way it hobbled suggested that I’d landed some sort of debuff like I’d received earlier. I got a couple more attacks in for a total of 6 before it even turned to engage me, though I unfortunately missed getting a vital or flanking bonus on either. The buck’s wide antlers were not easy to dodge, and I got hit for 3 and then 4, while managing to do 2 and then a nice crit (critical hit) of 10! When it lowered its head and began scratching the ground with its right leg, I figured it was readying a charge attack and braced myself to dodge instead of taking advantage of its sudden lack of movement. I rolled to the side and was rewarded with an easy shot at its exposed side, landing two more blows. It collapsed to the ground, and I received my first deer carcass for the quest.

  I stalked deer for another couple of hours, letting ones go that managed to run away into the wolf area, and seven kills later had three smelly, though surprisingly light, deer carcasses in my inventory. After fighting three more wolves to get back to the field, I hastily plopped the items on the marked spots, ensuring no deer would come near Fran’s field (even though I’d never seen any near there), and marched back to the NPC for my reward.

  The farmer seemed to be looking through me as I stood before him until I mentioned the word “quest.”

  “Splendid work!” Farmer Fran said. “Let me get ya them overalls I promised ya.”

  When he reached toward his shoulder, I was terrified that he was going to take off his clothes in front of me. He was definitely not my type—being pudgy, somewhat plain looking, and a man. Thankfully, he only reached back to grab a second pair of overalls to hand to me.

  You have gained 300 Experience Points. 2,547/4,000 to next level.

  You have received 2 silver.

  You have been granted the loot: Farmer’s Overalls.

  You have received +50 Faction with Highwall. +100 Highwall (Friendly).

  I thanked him and put them on. As much as I hated overalls, the three extra AC would be a big help. I now looked like, well, a thinner, younger version of the farmer, but stats were more important than looks.

  Item: Farmer’s Overalls

  Slot: Legs

  Rarity: Common

  AC: 4

  Weight: 4 Pebbles

  Description: They keep the mud stains on the outside so you only have to worry about the other type of “mud stains” below.

  “Do you have any more problems, Mr. NPC?”

  The farmer contorted his face into a scowl. “It seems like somebody up there hates me. While you were taking care of the rabbits, the wolves started attacking my chicken coop. Could you go get revenge on them dastardly wolves?”

  “So, let me get this straight,” I said. “Th
is started before I left to kill the deer?”

  “Yup.”

  “And you didn’t tell me about this even though I’d have to travel through an area with wolves to get to the deer.”

  “Yup. Why do you ask?”

  I sighed. “No reason. What’s the quest?”

  Quest: Open Up and Say Ow!

  Description: Farmer Fran has problems, and the only solution is you (or some other random adventurer who happens to wander by). You’ve conquered the deer. Now it’s time to move on to something more challenging: diminutive wolves!

  Completion Objective: Kill 12 Pocket Wolves in the nearby forest.

  Reward: Manure-Stained Boots, 400 EXP, 4 silver, +50 Faction with Highwall

  I made my way back to the forest. It took me a couple hours to kill the wolves. I gained another point in Swords and got my first skill up in Flanking Attack. Fran rewarded me with stinky new boots and the next quest.

  Quest: Yes, They’re Delicious but You Can’t Have Them

  Description: The good news is that you killed a lot of wolves; the bad news is while you were away some other wolves took out the rest of the chickens. Peculiarly, you think you can still hear the clucking chickens from deeper in the forest. Could they still be alive? The farmer would like you to find out and so would your curiosity.

  Completion Objective:

  1. Find where the wolves have taken the chickens.

  2. Find out why they are not eating them.

  3. Take the chickens back to Farmer Fran.

  Reward: Family Heirloom, 500 XP, 7 silver, +100 Reputation to Highwall

  Normally, I wouldn’t even read the description of the quest in an RPG and would just focus on the objective and reward, but this one was odd. Why would wolves capture chickens and not eat them? And how would they even go about doing that? I guessed they could theoretically grab the chickens lightly with their mouths, but perhaps there was more to this.

  “Are these the same wolves I saw earlier?”

  Farmer Fran shrugged, but a second later my map appeared in front of me. The red dot indicated that they were still in the sparsely treed area of the forest but farther north than Olaf had taken me. As I entered the wolf area, I was extremely careful to stay a safe distance away from any of them. I could take them solo but figured it’d be best to avoid fights if I had to, especially since it was five pm and I wanted to get the quest done before I needed to go back to the inn to rest.

  There’s a Twist in My Quest. Get it Out!

  This time I only managed to aggro two packs of wolves before I made it to the area indicated on my map. I eventually shook them off and got within two hundred feet of my objective. Before I could even make out my surroundings, something jumped out of the bushes and took me to the ground. As I struggled toward my fallen sword, it occurred to me that what I assumed was a wolf on top of me hadn’t bitten or clawed me at all.

  “Excuse me, good sir,” the heavy object on top of me said. “I don’t suppose you could stop squirming, so I could get a good shot for the viewers at home, could you?”

  I paused while reaching for my sword and looked up in surprise. The long, thin mustache of the high-level player from before tickled my nose. He scrunched up his nose as he stared at me for a few minutes and then broke out in a broad grin.

  “I believe that is the first time I’ve seen confused and happy together in the same facial expression. Splendid. And my viewers agree. Well, 93% of them do. While 5% of them would rather you mix constipated and something called ‘erudite,’ majority rules in my stream, or it will when I figure out how streaming works.” He stood and helped me to my feet.

  I wasn’t sure if he was just messing with me or if he was legitimately crazy, but he hadn’t tried to kill me when he easily could have, so I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt for now. Besides, having a high-level nearby would be helpful in case I got into danger. I still found it odd there were more legs to the quest than Olaf had mentioned, but perhaps he’d stopped early or they were different for everyone.

  “So, are you out here on the farmer’s quest too?” I asked.

  “Oh, yes. I’m building tutorials for my fans. Or at least I will be when I figure out what ‘tutorial’ and ‘fans’ mean. By the way, what farmer quest are you talking about?”

  I wasn’t sure if he was playing with me or if he was an idiot. But I really didn’t have time to find out. I pointed toward the area indicated on my map and he followed.

  The area was a clearing, and by the look of it had once been a farm. Patches of weeds had sprouted in what used to be the field. The paint was almost completely faded on the main building, and the windows were so coated in dust that I couldn’t see through them. Surprisingly the door looked brand new. The chicken coop had big holes in it, but two wolves stood guard, pushing any chickens that wandered out back inside with their noses.

  I snuck around in the bushes to gather as much intel as I could before I made my move. I probably didn’t need to with the high-level player behind me to back me up, but he hadn’t physically helped me with the bunny before, so I wasn’t sure if I could count on him.

  The high-level tapped me on the shoulder. “Excuse me, Lucas, but my fans would like to know what you’re doing? If you’re trying to unlock the Sneak skill, that’s only available to thieves and wood elves.”

  “I’m trying to figure out what mobs are out here because I don’t want to get surprised. I’m only level two and I can’t survive against more than one—unless you want to help. And again, I go by Horus in here.” I tried using Inspect on him again but only got ??? in everything.

  “My name is Clewd, sir, and despite that cheeky tickle you just gave me, I’d be happy to help you in your endeavor. Lead the way, good Lucas.”

  I focused on my sword and it reappeared from my inventory. The two wolves in front of the chicken coup lowered their heads and growled as we approached. Clewd mumbled a song that had something to do with a naughty, anthropomorphic pudding. It was very distracting, but given the level disparity between him and the encounter, I couldn’t blame him for not taking it very seriously.

  I caught the first wolf on the side of his snout for 3 and managed to dodge his counterattack. The second wolf had an easy shot at my forearm for a 6! and clamped down hard as I danced back from the first one’s bite.

  “I thought you were going to help,” I said as I abandoned attacking and focused on defense, parrying one bite and sidestepping another.

  He clapped as I parried another blow. “I am helping; I’m streaming your encounter. Your Q rating is off the charts now.”

  “Stop recording this and take one of these!” I managed to use Clewd as an obstacle and get the second wolf blocked between the first one and him, while I hit it for 4.

  “You have to record to stream? Hmm . . . I think I will have to miss the rest of your epic battle while I go purchase one of these wondrous recording devices at the auction.” He backed up and tripped on the second wolf, landing on top of it. It let out a pitiful whine as a white 2 floated from it.

  I shifted all my weight to the left, and at the last second took a hard step to the right. The first wolf bought the fake and chewed on nothing but air as I brought my blade under its chin. A 21! floated up, followed by a Flanking Attack skill gain notification. It was down to 2 HPs, and began to shake as if preparing to do a special attack. This time I decided to risk using its pause to attack rather than wait. My blade caught it right under the eye as it leapt up. The force of the collision knocked me on my butt as the beast toppled over.

  As Clewd now had the other wolf safely distracted by letting it clamp onto his forearm while he checked his hair in a mirror, I looted the corpse for some Wolf Meat. When I turned back, he waved at me happily, the wolf dangling in the air as it held its bite. “Before I waste time making the lengthy trip to the auction, I thought I might ask if you happen to have one of these recording devices on you.”

  “We all do. It’s built into the interfac
e.” I focused on recording and “now recording” flashed on my screen.

  He clapped happily. “Oh, your eyes lit up. Are you recording? How do I do that?”

  “Just think about it, and it’ll happen.” I thought “stop,” and it stopped recording.

  His whole face scrunched up. “Am I doing it now?” His eyes did not light up.

  I said “no” and he tried repeatedly for several minutes before I finally gave up and lied to him. The sky was beginning to get dark, and I didn’t have any more time to waste.

  “By the way, you have a wolf on your arm,” I said.

  He glanced at the wolf and swung it back and forth “This old thing? It’s always been there. I’d replace it, but I haven’t been able to find an upgrade that matches my shoes.”

  The door to the rotting farmhouse slammed open. A dirty, hairy man in clothes so tattered that even a newbie would be ashamed to wear them charged out. Shock and disgust lined his face as he saw the dead wolf at my feet and the second wolf still firmly attached to Clewd. A skinny, similarly attired teenager poked his head out from behind him.

  “What is the meaning of this? This is private property, and I’ll call the sheriff on you for what you done!” The man drew an ancient, rusty broadsword from his back and moved forward.

  Clewd stepped between us, the wolf swaying from his forearm. “Good sir, we are a documentary crew, here to record what steps it takes to complete a beginner quest.”