by M Helbig
You have gained 330 (300 +30 Group Bonus) Experience Points! 986/25,000 to next level.
You have received -2 Faction with the Plains Kobolds! Total: -1,002 Plains Kobolds (Hated).
Olaf let out a ragged cheer. Alizia picked herself off the ground and swung at Decrona again for “good luck.” Her blow intentionally missed by a mile, but it still drew an angry glare.
“Too soon?” Alizia asked.
Decrona growled at her. “Well done, Horus. I was about to suggest that, but this loud-mouthed ignoramus once again got in my way.”
“Who’re you calling an orangutan? And you got in my way, you arrogant windbag.” Alizia punched Decrona’s shoulder hard.
I grabbed Alizia and held her back while Olaf did the same with Decrona.
“Would you two stop this?” Olaf asked. “We need to focus on the task at hand.”
Decrona seemed about to offer Alizia a retort, but one quick scan of our faces and she stopped. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Alizia bit her lip. “Me too. Won’t happen again.”
“Good,” Olaf said as he wiped a bead of sweat from his eyes. “So, seeing as we cannot count on the next one falling for that, and it does not look like we have anything else that will work on them, I think we should head somewhere else.”
Alizia scratched her chin and stared hard at him. “Who are you, and what have you done with Olaf the Brave?”
Olaf shrugged. “I would like to remain Olaf the Brave and not become Olaf the Deceased, thank you very much. They are just too fast for us to hit.”
Another kobold separated from the pack and hopped forward.
“I think if Alizia and I don’t get in each other’s way this time, we’ll be fine,” Decrona said. “Remember your new skills, everyone.”
“Agreed,” Alizia chirped as the kobold performed what must have been their pre-fight, elaborate bow. “We got this—eh, how exactly?”
The kobold pointed his axe toward the group. “My name is Kobie Kobold II. You have killed my father. Prepare to respawn!”
Decrona looked like she was about to reveal a plan but was cut off as the kobold sprinted in front of her and whacked both her ankles in succession with his tiny axe. She howled as the twin 5s floated up. The rest of the group tried to form into a circle around the kobold, but after he caught each of us in succession, our formation developed into a hopping mess.
When the kobold easily interrupted Decrona’s attempt at a spell, a lightbulb went on in Alizia’s mind. “I Shout at you, you red midget of stupid!”
The kobold immediately turned in mid-stab on my shin and sped toward Alizia. He landed at least seven blows on her in the time it took me to decide what to do now that I wasn’t being hit. I shouldn’t have felt too bad, as Decrona and Olaf didn’t do anything immediately either. With him dancing in a close circle around and on Alizia, I was too afraid to attack, as I was just as likely to hit her as him. Using Heat would’ve been similarly problematic. The only thing left was Regrowth. I tossed it on her at the same time that Decrona landed her own Lesser Heal.
Alizia’s HPs shot up to 100%. “Good job, guys. You’re keeping me alive like pros, so I can—I Shout at you, kobold—now maybe you could do something to stop him from hitting me. Like maybe kill it?”
Olaf took a tentative stab toward the whirling kobold but pulled back at the last second before his blade connected with Alizia’s elbow. “How, exactly? While this does keep the kobold in one area, he is still too fast to hit.”
Decrona tossed another Lesser Heal on Alizia taking her back to 100%. “Aha! I’ve got it. Horus caused the last one to slip on a slick puddle of healing potion—why don’t we do the same?” She summoned a potion and handed it to Olaf. “Sprinkle this underneath her.”
“Such a waste,” Alizia said. “I can’t look . . . No really, I can’t look. The bastard got my eyes.” The blue, white glow of Decrona’s spell covered her body. “Ahhh, much better.”
Olaf popped the cork and spread it in a circle around Alizia.
The red blur that marked the kobold coalesced into his tiny form on top of Alizia’s shield. He stared down at the pool, smirked and continued speeding around her body while not touching the ground. He changed up his attacks, focusing on her knees. Thirty seconds later, Alizia screamed and toppled forward. The kobold hopped off her onto the ground three feet outside of the puddle and laughed at us.
With Alizia face down and not able to offer any sort of defense, he peppered her neck and other vital areas for extra damage. By the time Alizia stood up, Decrona was down to 50% MPs, and I wasn’t much better at 37%, due to my smaller mana pool.
“Should I open another potion?” Olaf asked.
Decrona bit her lip. “No. He’ll only do the same thing again.”
Olaf barely missed giving Alizia a second belly button. “Then what?”
Seeing Olaf’s attack made me realize that trying to hit the tiny brute with weapons was pointless and would more than likely be counterproductive. He was just too fast to properly aim at. But what if we didn’t need to aim to hit him?
“Decrona, what was that spell you cast earlier?” I asked. “The one that wasn’t a heal.”
“I’m not going to say the name, as it will make Alizia laugh, and we need her focused. It’s a direct damage spell designed as an introduction for Mages who want to go into the two damage sub-classes of Elemental Mage and Dark Mage when they hit level twenty-five. Even though it’s far outstripped by every damage spell Mages get, many high-level Mages still use it due to its unique aggro-lowering component.”
“So, it only hits one spot—like an arrow, then?” I asked.
Decrona cast another Lesser Heal. “Actually, it covers a small area at a maximum range of about eight feet. I believe that effect was only added to introduce players to ‘cone spells.’”
“Could you move back to maximum range?”
Olaf bit his lip. “But won’t he hit Alizia too?”
I used Inspect on the kobold to make sure that Kobie I wasn’t unusually weak for his race and was relieved to find that Kobie II had a similarly low number of HPs at 63 and an even lower AC of two. His resists were all zeroes. “Yes,” I said. “But we can heal her.”
The kobold’s ears perked up and he turned to attack Decrona, but Alizia used Shout, and he resumed his assault on her.
“Alizia, do you agree with this plan?” Olaf asked.
“Well, before the plan, I’m getting hit mercilessly. After the plan is done, I won’t be hit anymore.” Alizia used Shout on Kobie II. “Yeah, do it. But I want it on record that this is the only time it’s OK for Deccy to hit me.”
Decrona nodded from about eight feet away and a blue, white energy began to flow from her fingertips. Her hand spun in a circular motion for about two seconds before shooting forward and releasing a shiny, sparkly blast that covered the entirety of Alizia’s body and stopped about a foot behind her. Alizia let out a scream as a red 20 floated off her, taking her from 97% to 74%. The kobold took a 23—probably due to his lower resists—but more importantly, he fell to the ground on his back.
I summoned my bow and Decrona readied another blast, but Olaf was already on top of it. His plunged his dagger below the neck for 43!
You have gained 330 (300 +30 Group Bonus) Experience Points! 1,316/25,000 to next level.
You have received -2 Faction with the Plains Kobolds! Total: -1,004 Plains Kobolds (Hated).
Decrona canceled her second attack spell to cast a succession of Lesser Heals on Alizia and bring her back to 100%.
“We should loot those two now,” I said.
“Not before we cover more important things,” Alizia said.
Olaf stared at her in surprise. “What can be more important than loot?”
“What’s the name of that spell Deccy wouldn’t tell us?” Alizia smirked.
“Now isn’t a good time,” Decrona said. “Perhaps later, when we’re safely back in town.”
Alizia t
apped her foot. “I just let you blast me in the face. You owe it to me.”
Decrona sighed. “Fine. It’s called Magic Sparkle Attack. Now, can we focus before the next one comes forth?”
Olaf deftly ran behind Alizia and pushed her up before she fell to the ground in uncontrollable laughter. “It’s sparkly like your—No, it’s an attack on your—glittery . . . So stupid! No, don’t sparkle me to death, little girl . . . Oh, it’s too perfect. That spell just says everything you need to know about Deccy.”
Before I could kneel to loot our kill, three more kobolds hopped forward from the pack.
“I thought they only fought one at a time?” Olaf asked.
The trio of kobolds performed their pre-fight, elaborate bows. In unison, they all raised their identical curved swords and pointed them toward us. “Our names are Kobie Kobold III. You have killed our father. Prepare to respawn!”
More Kobolds, More . . . What’s the Opposite of Fun?
Before they could take off, Decrona waved her hands at them frantically, and they stopped as one and nodded. “Doesn’t kobold honor dictate you only fight one at a time?”
The kobolds grinned, revealing their sharp though surprisingly pearly-white teeth. “We were born as one, and we fight as one. Now, prepare to respawn!” They charged in unison.
Alizia used Shout and one of the kobolds came for her, while the other two liberally sprinkled hits on the rest of our group. Olaf tumbled to the ground after the duo landed synchronized blows to his kneecaps, his dagger spilling from his hands. Decrona dropped to her knees as her fifth spell attempt fizzled out almost before it had begun. I gave up hitting them with my bow and switched to my sword, trying to draw them off Decrona so she could cast rather than hit them, but the only thing I managed was a slight trimming of the grass.
Alizia shouted at the one giving Decrona the most trouble and he immediately ran toward the giant; however, a couple of seconds later the first one broke off Alizia and took over his brother’s role, interrupting Decrona. Alizia’s next Shout drew him back, but she lost aggro on the second one soon after.
Down to 35%, I desperately searched for some idea on how to change the situation, but without any time to get my bearings or focus, the best I could come up with was to stumble forward instead of backward. In doing so, I inadvertently fell into the slick potion puddle from before. My heart leapt at the thought of the kobolds following me into the liquid and suffering the same fate as their grandfather. I quickly spun around and was disappointed to find two of them standing on the other side of the pool, staring at me. They took off their loose, flowing caps and bowed to me as if saying, “Nice try,” before reversing course and resuming their assault on my friends.
Not wanting to waste the brief respite from attack, I summoned a potion, but one of them must have seen what I was doing. He took the time to make his way around the small pool and slapped the potion from my hand. The thick liquid spilled out, extending the pool to the right. If Alizia had seen the waste, she would’ve burst into tears. Had I remembered it was a minor healing potion, and not one of the cheaper, lesser ones, I probably would’ve as well.
The potion was my last one. I was down to 29%, and the rest of the group was about the same. Decrona still had some mana, but with the two loose kobolds continually interrupting her, she might as well have been empty. Alizia tried her best to keep shouting, in the hopes that she could get at least two of them on her, but without being able to hit them or do anything else to generate aggro, it wasn’t enough to hold their attention for long. Olaf swung wildly, but the kobolds were too smart and stayed behind him or to his sides.
“Does anyone have any more potions?” I asked.
“Yes, I have one more,” Olaf said. “But all my attempts to use them have resulted in failure. The kobolds are too smart and will break them as soon as they see them. I do not want to risk summoning another.”
Decrona cursed as another attempt at a spell was interrupted. “Agreed. If I lose one more, I will have already run through all the money I earned from the errands I ran for my contacts yesterday.”
Alizia used Shout again. “Don’t look at me. I’m a potion connoisseur and am not going to waste a single drop.”
“How many do you have?” I asked. “I have a plan.”
“Don’t matter. I ain’t wasting ’em.”
“Alizia! We know you have a lot, and we cannot afford to waste our last ones,” Olaf said. “If we all die, it will cost much more than those few potions did.”
Alizia grumbled as she switched her shield for a potion and held it out of the reach of the kobold. “Fine. What is the plan?”
One of the kobolds began slashing all over my body. I crossed my arms over my face, so I could focus enough to relay my idea. “To your left is the spot where we sprinkled the potion under you to try to get the last kobold to slip up. I spilled one of mine next to it.”
Alizia hopped to the left to have a look. “Got it.”
“I need you to drop yours to extend it farther into a complete circle. Try to make it as wide as possible.”
She tossed it up like a basketball, and it crashed down about four feet from where mine had landed. The area now looked like a circular moat with a thin strip of land leading to a potionless center area about four feet wide.
“Great,” I said peering through my fingers. “Now toss one more to complete the circle. Try to leave the center area clear, though.”
Alizia cursed. “Fine, but you’re paying me double for these.” She summoned another and tossed it.
The potion wobbled a bit as it flew and landed only a foot from her last shot. I was already dreading the argument when I asked her to break another, but just then I noticed the thick liquid continued to expand, pooling well past the area of the last shattered potion and continuing on to complete the circle. There was still a small clear area at the center, about three feet wide, due to a slight incline.
“Great,” Alizia said unenthusiastically. “Now what?”
Olaf disappeared, and a few seconds later, after the thud of a long jump, reappeared in the center. “Now we all move here and make silly faces at the kobolds.”
Alizia skipped as she made her way to the center of the pool, not even seeming to notice as the kobold on her hit her repeatedly. Before she took her last, long step, she shook herself hard to toss off her unwanted guest and hopped over. The kobold landed hard on his back, got up, and began running in circles around the potion pool to get to her. Decrona and I had a much harder time, falling no fewer than two times apiece, but eventually we made the long leap across. As I checked my HPs, I realized I was down to 5% and Decrona was little better.
Seeing Decrona cast Lesser Heals at the group reminded me I now had a heal of my own. Fortunately, I had enough mana left for one Regrowth, and more importantly, none of the kobolds could get to me to interrupt the spell. Olaf and Alizia collapsed to the ground, with Olaf letting out a long sigh of relief. Decrona continued casting Lesser Heals on the group until she ran out of mana.
All three of the Kobie IIIs circled the pool surrounding us, having evidently learned the lesson of their grandfather. My heart skipped a beat as the large pack of kobolds in the distance let out an angry cry, but my fears didn’t materialize when none of them advanced to join in. It must have been my imagination, but the pack seemed much larger than before.
Alizia stood and patted Decrona on the back. “And now we wait for Deccy here to regain some mana, so she can spew forth death across ‘el poolo of potiono’, instead of her usual spewing forth of stuff that bores everyone to death.”
I tried firing an arrow at the crimson blur of sprinting kobolds, but it missed wildly. “That should work. While we wait for her to regenerate mana, have you tried using Shout on them since we got in here?”
“Won’t that make them come after us across that pool?” She scratched her chin.
Olaf grinned. “Yes, but with their much smaller legs and fast speed, they will slip on the
potion and then be at our mercy. Why do you think they are not coming across now?”
Alizia’s eyes lit up. “Ohhhh. I thought it was because they’re allergic to the color red.”
Olaf and I looked at the almost entirely red kobolds, looked at each other, and then looked back at the kobolds.
“Right, well then,” Alizia said. “Hey, Kobie III—that Kobie III, you know which one of you I’m talking about. I Shout at your stupid, though stylish hat. It looks goofy, and I’m in no way hoping you drop it as loot in a much larger size.”
One of the Kobies stopped in front of Alizia and hopped up and down in anger. “I will cut you until you respawn and dance on top of your corpse with my brothers!”
He pointed his tiny sword at her and charged. His diminutive feet gave out from under him almost immediately, and he skidded toward us, coming to a halt against Alizia’s boot. Despite his dazed state, he raised his sword arm threateningly, the act diminished by his missing sword. Alizia’s club crashed into him a second after Olaf’s dagger landed between his eyes.
You have gained 330 (300 +30 Group Bonus) Experience Points! 1,646/25,000 to next level.
You have received -2 Faction with the Plains Kobolds! Total: -1,006 Plains Kobolds (Hated).
Alizia squealed with delight. “Another! Hey, other Kobie III. No, not you, the other other one. I Shout at your unfortunate though unattractive skin condition.”
Another Kobie stopped his nonstop circling of the pool, hopped in anger and sprinted toward Alizia. This time Alizia’s blow landed first.
You have gained 330 (300 +30 Group Bonus) Experience Points! 1,976/25,000 to next level.
