The Girl Before Eve

by Lisa J. Hobman

On arrival he was both shocked and pleased at the number of singles in attendance. Although a second glance informed him that the men outweighed the women at about a ratio of four to one. Great. He went to the bar and ordered a pint of beer, hoping an infusion of alcohol into his bloodstream might relax him a little. Suddenly the sound of someone clearing their throat into a microphone had everyone turning around toward the source of the noise.

  “Good evening, ladies and gentleman. I’m Monica and I’d like to welcome you to Two’s Company Singles Night here at the Stewart Hotel.” She had a whiny, nasal voice that could be very irritating if listened to for any length of time. “Now these days many people are favouring online dating, but I say what better way is there to meet Mr. or Miss Right than face to face in a public place? Okay…so…you were all handed a little sticker on the way in, and you should’ve all written your names on them by now, so we’ll be ready to go shortly.” Adam had been tempted to write Dolf or Arnie on his sticker in case he met lots of weirdoes. But in the end he had caved and written his real name.

  “Now, there are a few ground rules. Well, I say ground rules…I suppose they’re more like ground suggestions.” Yeah coz that’s a thing, Adam snorted derisively to himself. “We prefer that if you connect with someone of interest that you swap email addresses or mobile numbers. We do not condone anyone pairing off and leaving together on the first meeting. Obviously, if you choose to do so Two’s Company will accept no responsibility for any incident that occurs outside the premises.” Yeah, like if the person you cop off with turns out to be an axe-wielding maniac. Why am I even here? “So, mingle, chat, and see where the night takes you. Enjoy and remember Two really is company.” As opposed to a threesome, eh? Adam’s negative subconscious was clearly in full flight tonight. It didn’t bode well. Monica handed the microphone back to the bartender and began to walk around with a clipboard.

  Adam stood there awkwardly contemplating ripping off his name badge and running for the hills, but that would mean the waste of a perfectly good pint of beer. He leaned against the post in the middle of the room and watched as everyone else seemed to make a beeline for someone. He cringed at how many medallions and hairy chests were on show and thought that perhaps a well-known manufacturer of hair product had gone into meltdown on account of having no stock left. Another scan of the room and his eyes fell on a pretty woman who seemed to be feeling as out of place as Adam. She stood there in the corner, chewing her lip and fiddling with the strap on her bag. She looked up and made eye contact, and her cheeks blushed crimson as a slow smile spread across her face. Taking a deep breath he made his way over to talk to her.

  ♥♥♥

  He arrived home around an hour after chatting with Jessica. He decided that he felt too uncomfortable to be there and made excuses to leave but not before getting her email address. Once he arrived home he emailed Lily.

  Hi, Lil

  Well, I went to the singles night thing. Only stayed an hour though as I couldn’t hack it. It was a bit like a meat market. I did meet someone though! She’s called Jessica and she’s a nursery nurse. She has long, wavy auburn hair and green eyes. Quite pretty really. She likes boy bands but I can let that go. She has a cat but only one! She’s around five feet four and quite petite. I have her email address. What do you think? Should I give it a shot?

  Write me back soon so I know what to do, eh?

  Adders x

  Around an hour later, after finishing off the huge bar of chocolate he’d bought the night before, he got a reply.

  Hi Pee pants!

  You did well to say you didn’t stay long! She sounds normal. Not sure she is your type but hey, what do I know? Drop Polly Pocket an email and see where it goes from there.

  Lily x

  Okay, so for some reason Lily didn’t think that this Jessica girl was his type. Well, he would email her anyway. What could it hurt? He opened up his email account and paused. He briefly considered doing a quick copy and paste of the email he had sent to Mallory but felt that Mallory was too nice to do that to. His email to her would remain unique. So he opened a new message.

  Dear Jessica

  It was very nice to meet you at the Stewart Hotel tonight. I’m so sorry for dashing off like that. I can only hope that you weren’t swept off your feet by some other dashing hunk after I’d gone. That’s not to say that I think I’m a dashing hunk. Nor do I intend to sound mean in hoping you didn’t meet anyone else. Anyway I digress. You said that you are based on the outskirts of Edinburgh. That’s quite handy as I’m near Jedburgh. Perhaps we could meet in Edinburgh for drinks or a meal?

  Anyway, a little about myself, seeing as we didn’t get much chance to chat. I am almost thirty-one and teach English in high school. I love my job and the kids are great. You obviously like kids too as you work in a nursery. I’ll bet that can be exhausting but rewarding all at the same time.

  Anyway, enough of my rambling. Do email back if you would like to meet up.

  Cheers

  Adam

  He clicked send and then opened the message up to re-read it. God I sound dull as fucking ditch water. Wouldn’t blame her if she falls asleep before she gets through the first paragraph. Oh well. As Lil said, nothing ventured…blah, blah, blah.

  He watched TV for a while and had a bottle of beer. He bounced his knee up and down and kept glancing at his laptop as if Jessica would jump right out of it. After about forty minutes, impatience got the better of him, and he opened his email account again, just in case. There was a reply! Before he plucked up the courage to open it, he went to the kitchen and put a frozen pizza in the oven. Then, deciding he could put it off no longer he opened up the message.

  Dear Adam

  Thank you for your email. It was a pleasant surprise to receive it and it was nice to meet you too. I am on the outskirts of Edinburgh, so perhaps we could meet at a restaurant at Straiton? It would be nice to meet you properly. I left not long after you did, as I felt very much like a fish out of water, if the truth be told.

  Are you free tomorrow evening? I know it’s short notice, but I am due to go on a girl’s holiday next weekend and will be spending next week preparing, getting a spray tan, packing, etc.

  Shall we say half seven outside Benito’s? It shouldn’t be too busy on a Sunday evening. Hopefully I will recognise you from our brief meeting. Unless I was tipsier than I realised and you really are in actual fact a fat, balding sixty year old! Gosh…I hope I remembered you correctly!

  Anyway, I will await your next email and I will see you tomorrow hopefully.

  Jess x

  A smell of burning wafted through the air, and he dashed into the kitchen to check his pizza. Realising that the burning smell was just some dripped cheese, he took a large swig of his beer. Shit! That’s quick! Tomorrow? Better email Lil. He dashed back into the lounge and clicked to open a new message.

  Hi Lil

  Guess what? She replied! The Jessica one I mean. She wants to meet tomorrow! Aarrgh! What should I do? Should I go? If so, what do you think I should wear? She has suggested Benito’s at Straiton, so it’s casual dress normally. Shit, I wish you were here to advise me. Not sure I can do this without your help, Lil!

  Adders xx

  He knew she wouldn’t respond right away and it bothered him. He couldn’t leave Jessica hanging in the air wondering if he wanted to meet. He reread her email and decided to take the plunge.

  Hi Jess

  Thanks for getting back to me so quick. I would love to meet you at Benito’s tomorrow night, yes. Seven thirty it is. I’ll be the short fat balding man ;-) Only kidding.

  See you tomorrow.

  Adam

  Nervously munching on his pizza, he slipped in Monty Python’s Life of Brian and sat back on the sofa. He couldn’t concentrate. He kept glancing at the laptop screen waiting for at least one of the girls to reply to his email. Lil was probably out getting drunk with Mack the camera man and Jess…well maybe Jess was picking outfits for her girl’s holida
y. His email pinged to tell him a new message had arrived.

  Lily.

  Adders

  Just bloody email her and set it up! You dufus! You don’t need me there to do this, Adam. You are a grown up! Accept it and embrace it. She sounds nice. Wear your jeans and your navy shirt with a white T-shirt underneath. You always look nice in that outfit. But seriously you will be fine! BTW try to remember her name!

  Lily xx

  Next came a confirmation from Jessica. She would be there. Seven thirty. Tomorrow. Adam wondered if he had made the right decision. Only time will tell, I guess.

  ♥♥♥

  On Sunday evening, he donned the outfit Lily had suggested and set off. He arrived at Straiton ten minutes early and sat in the car feeling rather conspicuous. People walked past him whilst he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and kept checking his watch. One of these days, he would replace the dashboard clock. He glanced over at Benito’s and saw a small-framed woman standing outside. That’s her. He remembered thinking she was pretty the night before, but twenty-four hours was a long time. He couldn’t tell a lot from where he was, but his stomach lurched at the thought of the night being crap and not having Lily here to rescue him. He should’ve arranged for her to ring him with a get out. But then again, she was busy in Germany.

  He climbed out of his car and made his way toward the woman. She was rather tiny, he’d forgotten just how tiny.

  She smiled when she saw him approaching and pointed at him questioningly. “Adam?”

  He smiled at her as warmly as he could manage. “Jessica.”

  She held out her hand to him. “Please…call me Jess. All my friends do.”

  He shook her hand. “You can still call me Adam…my friends call me it because well…it’s quite hard to shorten Adam… I’ll stop talking now.” Heat rushed his cheeks. Fucking knob. Jessica seemed to be trying her best not to giggle at him. She was very pretty. He liked her instantly.

  Clearing his throat, he opened the door for her. “So, are we eating or just having coffee or something, seeing as we’re both driving?”

  “Well, I’m starving, so food is good.”

  He smiled. She must not find me repugnant then. Good start. “Great. I’m hungry, too. I only had a pastry for lunch.”

  “At least you had lunch! I only managed a cup of coffee.”

  They stood in the doorway waiting to be seated. “How come?”

  “Oh, I’ve been helping my sister move into a flat with her boyfriend today.”

  “Right…right…how old is your sister?”

  “She’s twenty-one. But they were childhood sweethearts so…”

  They were shown to a secluded, romantic table toward the back of the restaurant. He pulled out her chair and she thanked him, smiling sweetly. The waiter came over and reeled off a list of specials and handed them menus and a wine list. They both shook their heads at the wine list. Adam liked that.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  She’s My Best Friend (Lou Reed)

  Once their food was ordered, Adam and Jessica sat in a shy silence. He glanced up and met with a curious gaze.

  Jessica blushed when he caught her watching him. She leaned forward. “Can I ask you a very straight forward question?”

  He cringed and fiddled with his napkin. “Hmmm, if I say no you’ll think I’m an arse but if I say yes I may not want to answer…tricky…go on then.” He held his breath.

  “Why did you attend the singles night?” Okay that was direct.

  He cleared his throat. “Erm, my friend, Lily…my best friend actually, signed me up to an online dating website, but I didn’t feel right doing things that way. It’s like that woman said last night…better to meet people face to face straight off.”

  Jessica narrowed her eyes. “You have a female best friend?”

  He chuckled. “Why does everyone seem so surprised by that?”

  She tilted her head to one side. “Do you and she have history?”

  “Well, considering I’ve known her since primary school, yes, we have a hell of a lot…why do you ask?”

  She shook her head. “No, I mean a history in the romantic sense not just history-history.”

  He began to feel uncomfortable and fidgeted in his seat. “No…and don’t take this the wrong way, but why is that in any way relevant? It’s not really any of your business.”

  She blushed again. “I’m sorry…look…I’ll tell you why, Adam. My last boyfriend was supposedly in love with me. We went out for four years, but I still found him in bed with his female best friend.” She made air quotes with her fingers. “Suffice it to say I’m not a big fan of the whole female best friends thing.”

  He puffed out his cheeks on a huff of air. “Well, maybe I’m wasting your time here, Jessica.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Lily and I are very close. She’s my best friend and she helped me through a very rough time last year.” He glanced up to see Jessica listening intently. Perhaps explaining things would help her to understand why he needed Lily in his life. “My…my wife was killed in a…she was… A drunk driver hit her and she was killed instantly.” He struggled to get the words out. It was a long time since he’d had to explain.

  Jessica gasped and her hand went to her mouth. “Oh, Adam, I am so sorry, that’s terrible. How…awful.” He saw tears forming in her eyes.

  “Yes…yes it was.” He swallowed his own emotions down along with the lump that had become lodged in his throat. “Lily was there through the whole thing. When I needed consoling, she was there. When I needed a shoulder, she was there. When I needed a kick up the arse, she delivered the blow. She’s the one who’s been encouraging me to meet someone and get on with my life. And as hard as that is, I’m young and I can’t live in the past. If it wasn’t for Lily, I would probably have jumped from a cliff by now.”

  Jessica nodded. “How come you and Lily didn’t get together then? You know…instead of you going to singles nights. She sounds amazing.”

  He smiled affectionately as he thought about Lily. “She is amazing…but she doesn’t think of me that way.”

  “And you?”

  Adam narrowed his eyes. “And me what?”

  “Do you think of her that way?”

  He paused for a few moments as he considered her question. “There was a time back before university when I felt…something…but it was fleeting and it was clear that she didn’t feel the same, and so I got over it. We both moved on and now we’re family to each other.”

  “So you told her how you felt back then? And she said she didn’t feel the same?”

  He was getting increasingly frustrated and felt like he was under interrogation. “No… I never mentioned it. I didn’t need to. Look, Jessica, I don’t mean to be rude, but I feel under scrutiny here, or like you’re psychoanalysing me. I don’t understand.”

  “Please, just humour me. I’m fragile and uneasy knowing any potential boyfriend… God that sounds so immature…any possible love interest… God that’s even worse… Okay, let’s just say that I’m uncomfortable with your relationship with Lily, and until I feel comfortable I don’t feel able to move forward with you even though I like you. I’m trying to be honest.”

  He rubbed his brow again. “But don’t you think this is all a bit intense for a first meeting?”

  She sighed. “Yes…yes I do…but I think maybe you and I could get on well, and I need to be honest with you.”

  He pulled his lips in between his teeth. “Look, there is nothing other than a strong family bond between me and Lily. I care deeply about her. But I’m not in love with her. If that’s not something you can deal with, then perhaps we shouldn’t take this any further.” He frowned.

  She took a deep breath. “No…no I think you’ve made it clear that it’s just friendship, but now you probably don’t want to see me again after this.” She looked down at her lap. Just then the waiter brought their meals to the table.

  When the waiter left, Jessica slowly lifted her gaze to me
et Adams. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

  He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, then opened his eyes and smiled. “I can understand your trepidation, but I do like you, so can we just start over?”

  A pretty smile spread across her face and she sighed. “Sure. I’d really like that.”

  ♥♥♥

  Adam arrived home at half eleven. He was exhausted. Jessica was lovely but she came with baggage. But then again so did he.

  He flopped onto the sofa and flicked on the laptop, which sat on the coffee table. No emails. He thought about it for a moment, but then decided against telling Lily the ins and outs of the date. It would feel strange telling her that he was grilled about his relationship with her. And no doubt Lily would tell him to get rid of the nosey woman.

  At the end of the evening Adam and Jessica, or Jess as she had asked him to call her, exchanged phone numbers with a view to seeing each other after her girl’s holiday. Lily would be home the following Saturday, so no doubt he would have plenty to tell her. His phone chirped in his pocket. Opening the message, he smiled to himself.

  J: Hi Adam, it’s Jess. Wanted to apologise again for the Spanish Inquisition. Even though I discovered this evening that you are a Monty Python fan, I’m not sure you expected it ;-) See you next week. Xx

  He chuckled to himself. Okay…pretty…sweet…matching baggage and a sense of humour, too. This felt rather good.

  ♥♥♥

  Jessica spent a week away on her girl’s holiday but kept in touch with Adam the whole time. They had some long conversations by text message, and he wondered what on earth her friends must think as she lay there on a sun lounger with her phone permanently clutched in her hand.

  A: Don’t they think it’s strange that you keep texting me? Isn’t it spoiling your holiday? Adam enquired.

  J: Not at all. They are rather intrigued about the man who has finally captured my attention

  A: I’ll bet they are. What have you told them? He was rather intrigued to know. There was a long pause until he received her reply. He had almost given up hope of an answer when his phone chirped.