A Choice of Fate

by Jezz de Silva

  …

  Jarrah sat bolt upright and swallowed despite his mouth being as dry as the sand wedged up his arse. He’d spent the last two hours staring into the predawn gloom coming to terms with the truth and figuring out what the hell he was doing about it. But as he tumbled into the glistening eyes of the woman he loved, he couldn’t think of a fucking thing to say.

  She reached out a trembling hand only to hesitate and slowly lower it as if what he’d contracted was contagious. “I-I want you to know…I mean…what…”

  The Coral Sea’s relentless countdown drowned her whispered words. He fought the urge to tackle her and forced himself to breathe. He needed to pull his shit together and think because there was no way they were ending here.

  Her gaze fell to his chest. “What I feel for you…it’s…it’s the closest I’ve come to falling…”

  Jarrah’s brain rebooted as his heart shuddered back to life and pumped blood through frigid limbs. With each hesitant pause and ragged breath she took, the tiny flicker of hope lingering in his empty gut burst into flames.

  “I mean…I care for you…more than I could have ever thought possible.” She shrugged and dropped her gaze still farther, until she stared at the hands clenched in her lap. “Maybe if we had more time together we could…”

  Say something, you fucking idiot. Tell her this isn’t the end. Make her understand this is just the beginning.

  Even as he rummaged for a miracle through the dozens of unworkable scenarios choking his brain, he could only come up with lies and clichéd bullshit. There was no way in hell he was lying to her, and she was way too damned smart for bullshit. His mouth opened before he’d even figured out what to say. She silenced him with a gentle kiss to his forehead.

  When she eased away, the tears that had pooled in her eyes shimmered in the ever-brightening dawn as they trickled down her cheeks. “You are the most unforgettable man I have ever met.” Her lips curved into a haunting smile that tore open his chest. “But I have to leave. If I don’t get on that plane today, I’m terrified I never will.”

  Then stay. The words screeched inside his head as panic battled logic for control of his mind. He’d made his fortune negotiating solutions to impossible problems. And when it came to the most important deal of his life he’d fucked up completely. “This doesn’t have to end. We can…”

  The waves washing around their feet and the breeze caressing their sand-encrusted skin consumed his words as he stared into her glistening eyes. And what, dickhead? What the fuck could we do? Exchange texts and emails, Skype each other every night, swap naked photos and heavy breathing to quell the madness that had caused them to clear out the chemist’s stock of condoms. How the fuck were they going to maintain a long-distance relationship when keeping a normal one going while they both worked eighty-hour weeks was going to be impossible enough. And how long would it take for the torture of not touching each other to pollute whatever this was until the magical four weeks they’d just shared became a nightmare. A month, six months, a year? Shit, his inbox was so overloaded it would take some Dreamtime magic for him to even make it back home for next year’s muster. And God only knew what she faced back in L.A. He was clueless about the medical game, yet he was pretty freaking sure it didn’t hand out prestigious jobs in fancy hospitals without demanding its pound of flesh.

  Her hand shook as she slowly cupped his cheek and brushed her thumb across his still lips. “I seem to have contracted a serious case of Jarrah Mereki Harper. Any legal advice?”

  He launched to his knees and captured her shoulders. Everything he desired, everything he craved, everything he needed shimmered in her eyes. All he had to do was convince her that love conquered distance, demanding careers, and driven personalities, and that a gifted princess and her selfish arsehole of a Prince Charming could live happily ever after. A decade of peddling bullshit had prepared him for this very moment. He could win her heart. All he’d have to do was confess what he felt for her and use it to coerce her into sacrificing the dream she’d worked her entire life to earn.

  Chapter Thirty

  Olivia stared at her luggage as she waited with a million other people for a cab outside LAX. The same ochre-colored dust clinging to every latch and crevice of the once pristine Samsonite stained the clothes inside. Her suitcase sat beside her on the damp sidewalk like a faithful old mongrel while a world that suddenly seemed so alien bustled obliviously around her. Sighing, she grabbed hold of the scuffed handle and shifted up one spot in the mile-long queue while feeling as lonely and battered as her suitcase.

  She’d escaped Brisbane at ten o’clock that morning, flown seven thousand miles across the world’s largest ocean, and arrived back in L.A. the previous day. That fact alone should’ve confirmed she’d made the right decision. Yet, no matter how hard or how often she tried convincing herself she’d been the luckiest woman on Earth to have spent four weeks walking about with Jarrah, she couldn’t stop herself from imagining all the what ifs.

  What if she’d accepted Naya’s offer and stayed in Wingarra? She’d have thrown away the career she’d worked her ass off to hopefully hang out her doctor’s shingle in exchange for cakes and pastries? And he’d be stuck five hundred miles away working eighty-hour weeks in Brisbane. But she’d at least have her sister and the nutbag family she already missed like crazy.

  What if she’d followed him back to Brisbane and camped out in his penthouse? She’d have sacrificed a high-paying prestigious job in a state-of-the-art medical facility and the chance of changing the future of brain cancer treatment for what? Even more studying and exams to gain an Australian medical license to get a job in a hospital and build her reputation all over again? While he’d continue working seven days a week with the only difference being she may be able to entice him to sleep in their bed instead of his office. And they’d still both be a desert away from the people they loved.

  And what if she’d used her powers for evil instead of logic and lured Jarrah to L.A.? She’d be rocking both the man and career of her dreams. He’d have given up everything he’d worked his entire life to build. And they’d both be not only a desert away from their family, but a freaking ocean as well.

  And the biggest what if of all. What if the last four weeks had been as good as they got? What if skipping off into happily ever after destroyed the magic? What if desperately clinging to the temporary insanity of a vacation romance transformed something so precious into a prison sentence they’d regret for the rest of their lives?

  She tipped the brim of her Akubra and inhaled the cool air blanketing the town she’d lived in for all but four weeks of her life. Crowds rushed around her, traffic choked the streets, car horns blared, people shouted to be heard over the chaos, and smartphones illuminated the dawn instead of stars. There wasn’t a single cowboy hat in sight, no warning of the heat to come, no dust, no flies, no wood smoke drifting from dormant campfires, no endless silence. Her hometown was exactly the same as it had been when she’d left. The only thing that had changed was her.

  She gazed into the gray morning cloaking Los Angeles and surrendered to the nagging ache in her chest that’d only grown more intense with every hour since she’d kissed her cowboy good-bye. What was he doing right now? Was he cursing his inbox while lying on the sofa in his penthouse? Or had he already returned to his office to rebuild the business relationships their holiday fling had tested? Was he as exhausted as she was? Did he feel as lost or as empty? Was he thinking about her?

  She cursed herself and focused on the crowd jostling around her and the traffic crawling by. She’d done the right thing. She wasn’t experiencing her first crush. She was a fully grown doctor, for Christ’s sake. A doctor who knew you never made long-term decisions with short-term emotions. And a doctor who stood alone in a city of four million people wishing she’d given in to her crush because being a mature adult fucking sucked.

  Her cell vibrated and her heart rate spiked. She shoved a hand into her pocket and froze as her
frantic fingers wrapped around her phone. Only two people would’ve called her. The big sister she’d promised to call as soon as she landed. And the man she’d cowardly begged not to call her because she’d known the mere sound of his breathing would shred what remained of her heart.

  Anxiety gave way to panic before joy trumped them both as her cheeky cowboy’s face illuminated the home screen and her body tingled with excitement and fear. She crushed the phone to her ear to block out the mayhem only to discover the chaos originated inside her head. Blinking back tears, she ignored everything she’d begged him not to do and pulled her shit together.

  “I thought we agreed we wouldn’t call each other.”

  “Contract doesn’t officially start for another three hours and thirty-seven minutes.”

  The voice that would be rumbling through her dreams rippled through her.

  “Shouldn’t you be planning Carter Industries’ downfall?”

  “Fuckers are as good as buried.”

  “So you found a decent lawyer then?”

  His growl warmed every part of her on its way down to her belly. Almost sixteen hours had passed since he’d kissed her, and she still felt his lips on hers. He hadn’t said a thing, no good-byes, no frantic declarations, and no tears. He’d simply crushed her to his chest and kissed her until she’d almost passed out in front of Qantas’s first-class check-in desk before tipping his hat and striding away.

  “How was the flight?”

  He knew damned well how her flight had been because he and his devious office manager had booked her a nonstop first-class ticket home on the upper deck of one of Qantas’s brand new A380’s. “Terrible. The blue swimmer crab entrée was dry, the filet mignon overcooked, and the hazelnut panna cotta way too firm. And don’t even get me started on the rest of the meals, the terrible service provided by my personal steward, and that poor excuse for a fully reclining private suite.”

  His laughter vibrated through her phone and straight into her chest. How many times had she reveled in that booming sound? How long before she forgot the joy it brought her? She pressed her hand to her chest and swallowed the fist lodged in her throat. “Remind me to have a word with that conniving office manager of yours.”

  “Please don’t upset Charlie. She’s already threatened to walk out on me twice and I haven’t even officially got back in the office yet.”

  He’d probably started preparing for war the minute he’d gotten back from the airport and worked through the thirteen odd hours she’d been in the air.

  “That bad, huh?”

  “Business as usual.”

  He’d done his best to pump some life into his response, yet fatigue dragged on every word. “Did you get any rest?”

  His whispered sigh told her everything she needed to know.

  “Eventually, but first I had to kick Sarah and Donna out of my apartment. God only knows how they got into my place. They must’ve bribed my doorman.”

  She chuckled despite the sudden illogical and completely unnecessary urge to track down Sarah and Donna and beat the crap out of them. “I hope you took good care of them. They’re only human after all.”

  “I was a perfect gentlemen. I banged each of them in private before calling a taxi. But then Annabelle showed up. Took Charlie kicking down my door to finally get rid of the desperate woman.”

  “You poor thing. You must be exhausted.”

  “It’s not easy being this sexy.” His fake laughter faltered before he cleared his throat. “How you doing?”

  Cold, empty, missing you more than an independent mature woman should be. Even his Joey Tribbiani couldn’t relax her death grip on the phone. She tamped down her emotions and released the breath she’d held. “Really restless. I had no idea spending four weeks with a man who tried really hard but simply couldn’t satisfy me would be so frustrating.”

  “What a loser. I hope you didn’t do something stupid like fall for him or anything?”

  She slowly nodded to herself and dropped her chin to her chest. She’d not only condensed a lifetime’s worth of stupid into four weeks, she’d also plummeted head over heels, 100 percent, bat-crap crazy for the smart-ass. “Don’t worry, Armand the Spanish co-pilot and Richard the British navigator helped me to relax on the flight home. I should be good to go for a few days while I hunt down some local stress relief.”

  “Good job. Best thing to do is forget about that yobbo and move on.”

  Silence filled their electronic link, and she suddenly felt each and every one of the miles separating them. Wiping the tears dribbling down her cheeks, she straightened, and drew in a long steadying breath. “I-I meant what I said. No calls, no emails, no ravens, no commitments, no expectations. We get on with our real lives and see what happens the next time we meet.”

  He responded with the same infinite silence he’d regarded her with on the island when she’d whispered the same pleas into the warm ocean breeze caressing their naked bodies. Instead of answering, he’d scooped her into his arms and scrambled up the beach to their villa, where he reminded her of every single thing she was leaving behind.

  “You’re missing me already, aren’t you?”

  More than you’ll ever know.

  There was only one thing she knew for sure. If she didn’t quit Jarrah Mereki Harper cold turkey, there was no way in hell she was staying away from him long enough to figure out just how much she loved him.

  Tightening her grip on her phone, she clenched the hand clutched to her chest into a fist and forced the words out. “Unleash hell, slacker.”

  Chapter Thirty-One

  “Is she okay?” Jarrah silently cursed as the one question he’d sworn he wouldn’t ask leaked out.

  The silence on the other end of the line lasted almost as long as Ryder’s sigh. “Do you want the good news or the bad news?”

  Jarrah stared at his laptop’s screen saver and cursed again. If Olivia was having the time of her life, he’d be an arsehole for feeling like shit. And if she was crying herself to sleep every night, he’d feel even worse. Basically, he was done for no matter what Ryder said. And he was too terrified to even explore the Pandora’s box of crazy he’d unleash upon the world if he discovered she’d replaced his stupid arse with someone who wasn’t such a slow-witted, chicken-shit dickhead. “The good news.”

  “There isn’t any, you fucking moron.” Ryder’s words punched him right in the face. “The woman you love is living by herself on the other side of the world while working twenty-four hours a day and pretending everything’s okay. And the woman I love is getting more and more pissed off with my idiot brother for stuffing around because she knows her kid sister’s miserable.”

  Jarrah lost himself in the eyes smiling back at him from his laptop’s screen saver. Olivia glanced over her shoulder at him from beneath the brim of her Akubra as the setting sun ignited the desert behind her. The image distorted as he pressed the screen. Instead of the heat and electricity he couldn’t forget, he only felt the same need that speared through his chest whenever he returned to his empty apartment and woke in his even emptier bed. “And what do you want me to do, kidnap her?”

  “You’re the genius.”

  Jarrah slammed the edge of his phone against his forehead and barely felt the impact over the pounding in his head. Three months. Three fucking months, and he’d come up with jack shit. Jack fucking shit. And he couldn’t even blame Dean Manningham or Carter Industries for his mood.

  Hours had passed since he and Charlie had skipped out of Carter Industries’ boardroom, and he still had absolutely no freaking idea why Manningham had withdrawn his bullshit claim on his family’s property when he had the resources to drag out the legal battle indefinitely. He hadn’t been able to figure out what had pissed off his good old mate Dean more: apologizing for his company’s latest act of arseholery or handing over a check that may well have been his yearly bonus as compensation for being a slimy piece of shit. The only thing Jarrah knew for sure was that someone very, v
ery powerful had Dean’s very, very tiny balls trapped in their hand and was squeezing hard. And he had a pretty good idea who Wingarra’s secret savior might’ve been.

  The only positive about his battle with Manningham had been that it’d consumed him. Because whenever he’d made the mistake of stopping to catch his breath, his mind had drifted back to the woman he loved and how fucking useless every plan he’d come up with to be with her had been.

  Ryder sighed. “You know what you need to do.”

  He could shut up shop and move to L.A now that Wingarra was safe. But how long would he last in La-La Land before he drove her nuts and she kicked his bored, homesick arse back Down Under? And even if he could cope with the traffic, crowds, and Kardashians and find something worthwhile to do, they’d still both be an ocean and a desert away from the people they loved.

  He could beg her to give up everything and move in with him. But the thought of guilting her into giving up her job had him feeling like an even bigger arsehole for even considering it. And even if she did move to Brisbane, they’d still be an eight-hour drive from their family.

  And that left option number three. They both give up their city lives and roll out a swag in Wingarra. However, a four-week holiday was one thing. How long would it take for the charm and novelty to wear off before they were screaming at each other and she finally realized she could do a hell of a lot better than an unemployed former lawyer living in the middle of nowhere.

  Ryder sighed again, but this time it contained relief rather than frustration. “I don’t know how you fucking beat those arseholes, bro, but you did it.”

  That made two of them. “Tell Mum she can stop casting spells on our neighbor, and for Christ’s sake keep an eye on Maddie. The last thing we need is her taking out Jai and getting thrown in jail.”