Steady (Pleasant Valley Book 3)

by Anna Brooks

  “Everything good out here?” Brad’s voice makes me jump, but Erik doesn’t move a muscle. It’s almost as if he was expecting him to come out.

  “We’re fine,” Erik says without lifting his head from mine.

  “Polly?”

  “All good. I was just coming in, anyway.” I duck out from underneath Erik and smile at Brad. “Sorry, I’m late. My car died and I had to have it towed.”

  “All good. I got your message.” Brad looks over my shoulder and raises a brow. “If you need a ride home, let me know.”

  “I’m taking her home,” Erik states, as he walks by us then disappears into the bar.

  Brad shrugs. “I guess Erik is taking you home then.”

  “Guess so.”

  Before we approach the door, Brad grabs my arm. “If he’s making you uncomfortable, Polly, I want you to tell me. I don’t care that he’s the head of security. I refuse to have someone working for me who—”

  This man is so damn nice. “No. Not at all. He’s intense, sure, but he doesn’t make me uncomfortable.” I stop with my hand on the handle. “Quite the opposite, actually. I’m just trying to figure it out, I guess.”

  “Okay. But I’m serious. You can always talk to me.”

  “Thanks, Brad. I appreciate that.”

  We walk inside, and after locking my purse in the locker in Brad’s office, I tie an apron around my waist and start setting up my section with drink menus and fake candles.

  Chapter 5

  Erik

  “You’ve gotta chill the hell out, man.” Brad closes the door and leans against his desk after I walk in.

  I plop down on the couch and press my fingers against my temples to alleviate some of the pressure. “Don’t you think I know that?” What is wrong with me? She’s turned me into a damn animal. This has never ever happened before.

  “Are you feeling okay?”

  A humorless laugh escapes me, and I rest my head on the back of the couch. I wish I could answer that. I’m feeling more alive than I have in a long time, but when I see her, and another man is around, I’m like a caged lion, ready to bite into a predator’s jugular and watch them bleed. I’m practically itching just to touch her. He can’t know that, though. He’ll fire me for thinking I’m nuts, and then I won’t get to see her. “I’m good.”

  “Take a breather. You’ve gotta keep your cool, Erik. I get that you think she’s hot; hell, I’m with a man and I can appreciate how gorgeous she is, but you can’t be acting all possessive with her.”

  I lower my head and give him a curt nod. “I know.”

  He pats my shoulder as he walks out, and I take a moment to gather myself before standing. I’m acting crazy, and I don’t get like this. Hell, with Sophia I didn’t feel this… this primal urge to protect her. Maybe if you did, she’d still be alive. Of course I wanted her safe, but it wasn’t this intense. Maybe if it was, she’d still be alive.

  Trying to push the thoughts away, I wear fake confidence and head out to the floor. After what happened last night with Polly, I station Josh physically in the VIP section instead of at the bottom of the stairs. Hopefully, his presence will deter anyone else from trying to touch her.

  Hours later, I’m walking around the bar when a familiar set of small hands wraps around me from behind. I turn and hug her quickly then pull back. “What are you doing here?”

  “I found out that one of my clients lives here, so we met for dinner, and now we’re having drinks,” says Mellie, my buddy’s girlfriend.

  “Surprised Smith let you out alone,” I mutter with a raised brow.

  “Shut up. He’s meeting me here in a lit—” Her eyes widen, and she covers her mouth. “Holy shit.”

  “What?” I turn to see where she’s looking. The VIP section. Specifically, Polly. I know this, because Polly is staring right back at Mellie, and they both look like they’ve seen a ghost. “What the fuck?”

  “Oh, my God, Erik. Do you know who that is?” Mellie shrieks.

  “Polly?” As I say her name, she glances at me then quickly turns and walks away, heading down the stairs.

  “That’s Richard’s Polly. Crazy, psycho Richard who killed a guy because of me.”

  I turn to Mellie and shake my head. “No way. Her? She’s… she’s…”

  “Too normal to have been with that freak? Yeah, I know. Always thought that when I saw her at their house.”

  It’s not just that, though. She’s so sweet, and her smile lights up the whole damn bar; she shouldn’t have had to ever deal with him. And now he’s in jail. I was briefly told about her because she lived with him, but since she wasn’t a part of what happened, I kind of forgot about her in the whole scenario. “I’ve gotta go talk to her.”

  Mellie grabs my arm, and I freeze. “Why the hell would you talk to her? She’s a bitch.”

  Very slowly, I pivot my foot and lean closer to Mellie. Her eyes widen at the sight of the anger rolling off me. I can feel my temper rising, something that happens far too quickly and far too often when it comes to Polly. “Don’t ever call her that again.”

  The left side of her lips lift. “Oh, my God. You like her.”

  I don’t like her. I’m infatuated with her. I’m drawn to her. She intoxicates me. “I didn’t know it was her.”

  “So you do like her?”

  “Leave it, Mellie.”

  “Oh, my word, I can’t believe she’s—”

  “I said leave it,” I snap. Her smirk falls, and I immediately feel like an ass. I’ve never, ever raised my voice to Mellie before. She was there for me when I had a fuckin’ breakdown and was the one who finally forced me to tell Smith the truth about his sister and me. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “It’s not. I need to go, though, okay?”

  She nods as she runs her fingers through her hair.

  “Don’t leave without saying goodbye.” I put my hand on her neck and kiss the top of her head. On my way to find Polly, I stop at the bar and tell Vince to give Mellie and her friend free drinks for the rest of the night. Then I take off and search for Polly.

  The back door slams just as I turn the corner, and I rush to catch up to her. She’s damn fast; those legs of hers move almost quicker than I can catch up. When I get outside, I find her pacing.

  The smell of weed lingers in the air, telling me someone was just back here. “Don’t come out here alone, Polly.”

  “Don’t tell me what to do, Erik,” she snaps.

  “I’m just looking out for you.”

  She abruptly stops and turns. “Why? Why the hell do you care? And why the hell are you talking to me when you have that bitch in there? What, did she fuck up her relationship after she did mine, and now she’s out prowling? Trying to get you next?”

  If I didn’t know any better, I’d say my Polly seems a tad jealous. “I’ll tell you the same thing I told her. Don’t call her a bitch.”

  “Oh, so she called me a bitch? I didn’t even do anything. She’s the one who—”

  “Enough.” I raise my voice, and she stops talking. “I was, no, I am best friends with Smith, Mellie’s fiancé.”

  At the last word, she swallows and looks away from me. “God, this is so embarrassing. You know all about me now, don’t ya, Erik,” she states because I do know. And she has nothing to feel embarrassed about. What happened wasn’t her fault. “You know the poor, pitiful story of me. Guess you won’t be afraid to be near me and a horizontal surface anymore.”

  The fact that she’s thinking about being near a horizontal surface has me speechless. And hard. She hangs her head then gives it a shake before she walks to the door. Before she can open it, I block the way. She needs to know I’m here. “This”—I point back and forth between us—“has nothing to do with what happened in the past. I don’t give a shit about that.”

  She huffs. “For the life of me, I still can’t figure out why you care.”

  “I can’t explain it; I just do.”

 
; “Why? You don’t even know me. No”—she laughs—“you do know me. You know that I lived with a psychopath who’s now in jail for murder. But the fucked-up thing is, you don’t even know the half of it. You don’t know who I was before I was with him. What I went through. You only know what you think is true.”

  I tilt my head. “It’s not true?”

  “It’s not who I am.”

  “And tell me, Polly, who are you?”

  “I’m someone who’s messed up enough in life to know that I don’t want, nor do I need, anybody else but myself. Because the minute you give somebody your trust, they find a way to break you.”

  “Pol—”

  “No… just, enough. Leave me alone, Erik.” She pushes past me and walks back inside.

  I take a breath before going back to work and shelving this conversation for another time. We’re far from over. She might think she doesn’t need anybody, but I’m going to prove to her that she needs me, and even though I never thought the day would come again, I need her. I need somebody. And she’s it.

  The rest of the evening goes by painfully slowly, especially since she’s ignoring me, but I don’t let more than a few minutes go by without getting eyes on her. Mellie left already, and when Smith got here, I walked her outside to his truck.

  The last call was just announced, and I’m so grateful I only have a little time left. “Backup at one,” Manny says through the earpiece.

  Shit. I push through the crowd and help him break up a fight between four guys in front. They’re fighting over who gets to take some girl home. Never understood that. If a woman wants to fuck you, she’ll take you home with her. If she’s gonna play games, then she ain’t worth the hassle. The fact that these dudes are fighting over a random chick is pissing me off. I’d rather not be doing this right now. And of course, somebody called the cops, so I have to wait and give my statement. By the time I get back inside, I scan the empty bar, and my adrenaline begins to pump because I can’t find her.

  I hurry down the hall and peek in Brad’s office, only to find the bartender sliding the deposit into the safe. “You seen Polly?”

  “She left like five minutes ago.”

  “Fuck!” I jog to the back parking lot and hop in my car then tear off down the street. It’s my job to know about the employees, so I already know her address. I go in the same direction she came from this afternoon and spot her about a block away. Walking alone. Pulling over, I take a breath to calm myself then get out. I don’t want to scare her, so I call her name. “Polly.”

  She jumps a bit but waves me off. “I’m fine. Go home.”

  In a few large strides, I’m next to her. I don’t say a word as I continue walking. She needs to realize I’m not going anywhere. I’m not even going to lecture her about how stupid it is for her to be walking alone right now. We walk up to her block, and just as we round the corner to cut through the parking lot, a homeless man appears opposite us. Her feet stop moving so quickly her body sways and her gasp echoes in the still of the night.

  “Head down. Just keep walking.” I rest my hand on her lower back and push her to continue to her place. The position is a very familiar one to me. My blood is fucking boiling, thinking of what could happen to her if I wasn’t here right now.

  As we pass the guy, he begs for money, screams profanities, and threatens us, but I just keep pushing forward. Not only do I not feel like dealing with anyone else right now, but I don’t want her to see me like that. She’s already unsure enough of me as it is.

  Her hands shake when she roots through her purse, and I wait for her to find her keys, my eyes alert to our surroundings. But after a minute of her fumbling, I take them and unlock the door for her. We make our way upstairs and into the apartment. I close the door behind us and lean against it.

  Glancing around her space, I can see everything since it’s a studio. Small, but cute, and totally her. Bright pink pillows on the couch and an old trunk for an end table. She even has fresh flowers on her little kitchen table.

  “Why are you here, Erik?” she whispers from the kitchen. Her back is to me as she gets a drink of water from the sink.

  No point in lying. “Because I like you, Polly. I care about you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re funny. And smart.” I walk toward the kitchen. “And every time I look at you, I see how sad your eyes are, and I want that to go away. I want to take that away.” Her head falls forward, and I step behind her, placing an arm on either side of the sink. “And you’re so goddamned beautiful, it takes my breath away.”

  She turns around, and I take a step back. I’d love to be as close as possible to her, but I don’t want her to think I’m pushing her. If this is going to happen, she needs to be the one to make the decision.

  “How much do you know?” she asks.

  “About what?”

  “My past.”

  “I know what happened with Mellie and vaguely why you were with him.”

  Her teeth sink into her lower lip before she releases it. “What do you know about before?” I make the mistake of looking away for a second, and she takes that as the ammunition she needs. “Get out.”

  “I don’t even know if it’s true. Tell me. You said that wasn’t who you were. So tell me who you are.”

  She shakes her head. “It’s not. But I… I don’t need—”

  “Polly, I—”

  “Get out. I don’t want to sit here and wonder how much of this is sympathy.” She walks to the door and opens it. “I just want to go to work and make enough money to support myself without needing help from anybody. I don’t need anybody. I’m doing just fine all by myself.” A tear rolls down her cheek, and she quickly wipes it away. “Can you please leave?”

  Without taking my eyes off her, I walk toward the door and slam it shut, then pull her into my arms. Her body shudders, and she grips my shirt as she cries. One of my hands cradles her head, and the other holds her up with an arm around her waist. I press my lips to her forehead and then lift her up and carry her to the couch where she straddles me, her face pressed into my shoulder.

  I have a desire to hold her tighter. To mold her body to mine so she never leaves me, because nothing’s ever felt more right in my life. And I don’t want to lose it. I don’t want to lose her.

  Her tears dampen my shirt, and listening to her cry breaks my heart. Her breaths begin to even out, and I say, “I don’t pity you, honey. I’m sad that you’ve had to deal with so much. I just… I see something in you that reminds me of myself. I’ve been alone for a long fuckin’ time, and as much as I try to tell myself that you’d be better off without me, I know that’s not true. And I’m not better off without you. You actually make me give a shit about waking up every morning, and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt any sort of purpose.”

  She finally lifts her head and grabs a tissue from the end table to wipe her face. “What do you want from me?”

  “You. Just you.”

  “Why?”

  “Why do you keep asking that? Why can’t I just want you because I feel something for you?”

  “Because nobody has ever wanted me without something in return,” she whispers. “I’ve never been good enough just by myself.”

  “God, Polly. You are so much. I don’t give a shit what some dick face told you in the past. I swear to Christ, I have no ulterior motive.”

  A long breath releases from between her full, pink lips. “What about you? You said you saw something in me that you saw in yourself. What did you see?”

  Bursts of memories hit me, and I squeeze my eyes shut to try to keep them out. I’ve been trying to keep them out for so damn long. When they do surface, I can’t control the magnitude of emotion that courses through my veins. The debilitating strobes of guilt that hit me in rapid succession. Blinding me and making it so I get dizzy if I move.

  The words I shouted at Sophia, the tears streaming down her cheeks as I slammed the door in her face. Everything always
comes at once, never a little at a time so that I can process it. The past, even before Sophia, filters in and brings me back to the place that started it all. Answering the door when my father told me not to. The guns. The blood. Screams. My mother pleading. My father… My father dying right along with her.

  “Hey. Hey, Erik. Look at me.” Polly’s voice plays in the background, and I fight to push through to get to it, to get to her. Her hand rests on my cheek, and I take a couple of breaths through my nose before I open my eyes. “It’s okay.”

  Faster than they ever have before, the demons slither away with her touch. I know they’ll come back because they never leave. But as her eyes are boring into mine, I remember what I saw in her the moment we met.

  What in the fuck am I doing? Why do I think it’s a good idea to break through this girl’s walls when I have a shield of my own? I want her for selfish reasons. Because I know she’d take it away. Hell, she’s got me by the balls, and she doesn’t even know it. She already gives me more than I deserve. “If I wasn’t fucking my way to distraction, I was drinking my way to oblivion. I’ve gone without one or the other, but never both… until you. And I’m a selfish bastard, because you get me higher than the two combined, and if you’ll let me, I’ll become so addicted I won’t ever be able to quit you.”

  Her other hand is placed on the opposite cheek, and she lifts my head so she’s level with me. “I don’t know if we’re completely terrible for each other or if we’re actually perfect for each other.”

  I gently nod. “Maybe a little of both.”

  She squirms in my lap, and I watch as she comes to some sort of conclusion. “What if tonight we use each other to just forget it all?”

  “Not sure I can only do one night with you.”

  “How will we know if we don’t try?”

  Jesus. I grab her hips and pull her tighter to me. A little gasp leaves her when she bumps against my hard cock. “You sure?”