Complete Novels of E Nesbit

by Edith Nesbit

  ‘I always want dogs,’ said Philip warmly.

  ‘ — to use in emergencies.’ He whistled and two Noah’s Ark dogs leaped from their kennels to their chains’ end. They were dachshunds, very long and low, and very alike except that one was a little bigger and a little browner than the other.

  ‘This is your master and that’s your mistress,’ Mr. Noah explained to the dogs, and they fawned round the children.

  ‘Then you’ll want things to eat and things to drink and tents and umbrellas in case of bad weather, and —— But let’s turn down this street; just at the corner we shall find exactly what we want.’

  It was a shop that said outside ‘Universal Provider. Expeditions fitted out at a moment’s notice. Punctuality and dispatch.’ The shopkeeper came forward politely. He was so exactly like Mr. Noah that the children knew who he was even before he said, ‘Well, father,’ and Mr. Noah said, ‘This is my son: he has had some experience in outfits.’

  ‘What have you got to start with?’ the son asked, getting to business at once.

  ‘Two dogs, two children, and a camel,’ said Mr. Noah. ‘Yes, I know it’s customary to have two of everything, but I assure you, my dear boy, that one camel is as much as Sir Philip can manage. It is indeed.’

  Mr. Noah’s son very dutifully supposed that his father knew best and willingly agreed to provide everything that was needed for the expedition, including one best-quality talking parrot, and to deliver all goods, carefully packed, within half an hour.

  So now you see Philip, and Lucy who still wore her fairy dress, packed with all their belongings on the top of a very large and wobbly camel, and being led out of the city by the usual procession, with seven bands of music all playing ‘See the Conquering Hero goes,’ quite a different tune from the one you know, which has a name a little like that.

  The camel and its load were rather a tight fit for the particular gateway that they happened to go out by, and the children had to stoop to avoid scraping their heads against the top of the arch. But they got through all right, and now they were well on the road which was really little more than a field path running through the flowery meadow country where the dragon had been killed. They saw the Stonehenge ruins and the big tower far away to the left, and in front lay the vast and interesting expanse of the Absolutely Unknown.

  The sun was shining — there was a sun, and Mr. Noah had told the children that it came out of the poetry books, together with rain and flowers and the changing seasons — and in spite of the strange, almost-tumble-no-it’s-all-right-but-you’d-better-look-out way in which the camel walked, the two travellers were very happy. The dogs bounded along in the best of spirits, and even the camel seemed less a prey than usual to that proud melancholy which you must have noticed in your visits to the Zoo as his most striking quality.

  It was certainly very grand to ride on a camel, and Lucy tried not to think how difficult it would be to get on and off. The parrot was interesting too. It talked extremely well. Of course you understand that, if you can only make a parrot understand, it can tell you everything you want to know about other animals; because it understands their talk quite naturally and without being made. The present parrot declined ordinary conversation, and when questioned only recited poetry of a rather dull kind that went on and on. ‘Arms and the man I sing’ it began, and then something about haughty Juno. Its voice was soothing, and riding on the camel was not unlike being rocked in a very bumpety cradle. The children were securely seated in things like padded panniers, and they had had an exciting day. As the sun set, which it did quite soon, the parrot called out to the nearest dog, ‘I say, Max, they’re asleep.’

  On the top of a very large and wobbly camel.

  ‘I don’t wonder,’ said Max. ‘But it’s all right. Humpty knows the way.’

  ‘Keep a civil tongue in your head, you young dog, can’t you?’ said the camel grumpily.

  ‘Don’t be cross, darling,’ said the other dog, whose name was Brenda, ‘and be sure you stop at a really first-class oasis for the night. But I know we can trust you, dear.’

  The camel muttered that it was all very well, but his voice was not quite as cross as before.

  After that the expedition went on in silence through the deepening twilight.

  A tumbling, shaking, dumping sensation, more like a soft railway accident than anything else, awakened our travellers, and they found that the camel was kneeling down.

  ‘Off you come,’ said the parrot, ‘and make the fire and boil the kettle.’

  ‘Polly put the kettle on,’ Lucy said absently, as she slid down to the ground; to which the parrot replied, ‘Certainly not. I wish you wouldn’t rake up that old story. It was quite false. I never did put a kettle on, and I never will.’

  Why should I describe to you the adventure of camping at an oasis in a desert? You must all have done it many times; or if you have not done it, you have read about it. You know all about the well and the palm trees and the dates and things. They had cocoa for supper. It was great fun, and they slept soundly and awoke in the morning with a heart for any fate, as a respectable poet puts it.

  The next day was just the same as the first, only instead of going through fresh green fields, the way lay through dry yellow desert. And again the children slept, and again the camel chose an oasis with remarkable taste and judgment. But the second night was not at all the same as the first. For in the middle of it the parrot awakened Philip by biting his ear, and then hopping to a safe distance from his awakening fists and crying out, ‘Make up the camp fire — look alive. It’s lions.’ The dogs were whining and barking, and Brenda was earnestly trying to climb a palm tree. Max faced the danger, it is true, but he seemed to have no real love of sport.

  Philip sprang up and heaped dead palm scales and leaves on the dying fire. It blazed up and something moved beyond the bushes. Philip wondered whether those pairs of shining things, like strayed stars, that he saw in the darkness, could really be the eyes of lions.

  ‘What a nuisance these lions are to be sure,’ said the parrot. ‘No, they won’t come near us while the fire’s burning, but really, they ought to be put down by law.’

  ‘Why doesn’t somebody kill them?’ Lucy asked. She had wakened when Philip did, and, after a meditative minute, had helped with the palm scales and things.

  ‘It’s not so easy,’ said the parrot; ‘nobody knows how to do it. How would you kill a lion?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Philip; but Lucy said, ‘Are they Noah’s Ark lions?’

  ‘Of course they are,’ said Polly; ‘all the books with lions in them are kept shut up.’

  ‘I know how you could kill Noah’s Ark lions if you could catch them,’ Lucy said.

  ‘It’s easy enough to catch them,’ said Polly; ‘an hour after dawn they go to sleep, but it’s unsportsmanlike to kill game when it’s asleep.’

  ‘I’m going to think, if you don’t mind,’ Lucy announced, and sat down very near the fire. ‘It’s just the opposite of the dragon,’ she said after a minute. The parrot nodded and there was a long silence. Then suddenly Lucy jumped up.

  ‘I know,’ she cried, ‘oh — I really do know. And it won’t hurt them either. I don’t a bit mind killing things, but I do hate hurting them. There’s plenty of rope, I know.’

  There was.

  ‘Then when it’s dawn we’ll tie them up and then you’ll see.’

  ‘I think you might tell me,’ said Philip, injured.

  ‘No — they may understand what we say. Polly does.’

  Philip made a natural suggestion. But Lucy replied that it was not manners to whisper, and the parrot said that it should think not indeed.

  So, sitting by the fire, all faces turned to where those strange twin stars shone and those strange hidden movements and rustlings stirred, the expedition waited for the dawn. Brenda had given up the tree-climbing idea, and was cuddling up as close to Lucy as possible. The camel, who had been trembling with fear all the while, tried to cu
ddle up to Philip, which would have been easier if it had been a smaller kind instead of being, as it was, what Mr. Noah’s son, the Universal Provider, had called, ‘an out size in camels.’

  And presently dawn came, not slow and silvery as dawns come here, but sudden and red, with strong level lights and the shadows of the palm trees stretching all across the desert.

  In broad daylight it did not seem so hard to have to go and look for the lions. They all went — even the camel pulled himself together to join the lion-hunt, and Brenda herself decided to come rather than be left alone.

  The lions were easily found. There were only two of them, of course, and they were lying close together, each on its tawny side on the sandy desert at the edge of the oasis.

  Very gently the ropes, with slip knots, were fitted over their heads, and the other end of the rope passed round a palm tree. Other ropes round the trees were passed round what would have been the waists of the lions if lions had such things as waists.

  ‘Now!’ whispered Lucy, and at once all four ropes were pulled tight. The lions struggled, but only in their sleep. And soon they were still. Then with more and more ropes their legs and tails were made fast.

  ‘And that’s all right,’ said Lucy, rather out of breath. ‘Where’s Polly?’

  ‘Here,’ replied that bird from a neighbouring bush. ‘I thought I should only be in the way if I kept close to you. But I longed to lend a claw in such good work. Can I help now?’

  ‘Will you please explain to the dogs?’ said Lucy. ‘It’s their turn now. The only way I know to kill Noah’s Ark lions is to lick the paint off and break their legs. And if the dogs lick all the paint off their legs they won’t feel it when we break them.’

  Polly hastened to explain to the dogs, and then turned again to Lucy.

  ‘They asked if you’re sure the ropes will hold, and I’ve told them of course. So now they’re going to begin. I only hope the paint won’t make them ill.’

  It was heavy work turning the lions over.

  ‘It never did me,’ said Lucy. ‘I sucked the dove quite clean one Sunday, and it wasn’t half bad. Tasted of sugar a little and eucalyptus oil like they give you when you’ve got a cold. Tell them that, Polly.’

  Polly did, and added, ‘I will recite poetry to them to hearten them to their task.’

  ‘Do,’ said Philip heartily, ‘it may make them hurry up. But perhaps you’d better tell them that we shall pinch their tails if they happen to go to sleep.’

  Then the children had a cocoa-and-date breakfast. (All expeditions seem to live mostly on cocoa, and when they come back they often write to the cocoa makers to say how good it was and they don’t know what they would have done without it.) And the noble and devoted dogs licked and licked and licked, and the paint began to come off the lions’ legs like anything. It was heavy work turning the lions over so as to get at the other or unlicked side, but the expedition worked with a will, and the lions resisted but feebly, being still asleep, and, besides, weak from loss of paint. And the dogs had a drink given them and were patted and praised, and set to work again. And they licked and licked for hours and hours. And in the end all the paint was off the lions’ legs, and Philip chopped them off with the explorer’s axe which that experienced Provider, Mr. Noah’s son, had thoughtfully included in the outfit of the expedition. And as he chopped the chips flew, and Lucy picked one up, and it was wood, just wood and nothing else, though when they had tied it up it had been real writhing resisting lion-leg and no mistake. And when all the legs were chopped off, Philip put his hand on a lion body, and that was wood too. So the lions were dead indeed.

  ‘It seems a pity,’ he said. ‘Lions are such jolly beasts when they are alive.’

  ‘I never cared for lions myself,’ said Polly; and Lucy said, ‘Never mind, Phil. It didn’t hurt them anyway.’

  And that was the first time she ever called him Phil.

  ‘All right, Lu,’ said Philip. ‘It was jolly clever of you to think of it anyhow.’

  And that was the first time he ever called her Lu.

  They saw the straight pale line of the sea for a long time before they came to the place of the Dwellers by the Sea. For these people had built their castle down on the very edge of the sea, and the Pebbly Waste rose and rose to a mountain that hid their castle from the eyes of the camel-riders who were now drawing near to the scene of their next deed. The Pebbly Waste was all made of small slippery stones, and the children understood how horrid a horse would have found it. Even the camel went very slowly, and the dogs no longer frisked and bounded, but went at a foot’s pace with drooping ears and tails.

  ‘I should call a halt, if I were you,’ said Polly. ‘We shall all be the better for a cup of cocoa. And besides — —’

  Polly refused to explain this dark hint and only added, ‘Look out for surprises.’

  ‘I thought,’ said Philip, draining the last of his second mug of cocoa, ‘I thought there were no birds in the desert except you, and you’re more a person than a bird. But look there.’

  Far away across the desert a moving speck showed, high up in the blue air. It grew bigger and bigger, plainly coming towards the camp. It was as big as a moth now, now as big as a teacup, now as big as an eagle, and ——

  ‘But it’s got four legs,’ said Lucy.

  ‘Yes,’ said the parrot; ‘it would have, you know. It is the Hippogriff.’

  It was indeed that magnificent wonder. Flying through the air with long sweeps of his great white wings, the Hippogriff drew nearer and nearer, bearing on his back — what?

  ‘It’s the Pretenderette,’ cried Lucy, and at the same moment Philip said, ‘It’s that nasty motor thing.’

  It was. The Hippogriff dropped from the sky to the desert below as softly as a butterfly alighting on a flower, and stood there in all his gracious whiteness. And on his back was the veiled motor lady.

  ‘So glad I’ve caught you up,’ she said in that hateful voice of hers; ‘now we can go on together.’

  ‘I don’t see what you wanted to come at all for,’ said Philip downrightly.

  ‘Oh, don’t you?’ she said, sitting up there on the Hippogriff with her horrid motor veil fluttering in the breeze from the now hidden sea. ‘Why, of course, I have a right to be present at all experiments. There ought to be some responsible grown-up person to see that you really do what you’re sure to say you’ve done.’

  ‘Do you mean that we’re liars?’ Philip asked hotly.

  ‘I don’t mean to say anything about it,’ the Pretenderette answered with an unpleasant giggle, ‘but a grown-up person ought to be present.’ She added something about a parcel of birds and children. And the parrot ruffled his feathers till he looked twice his proper size.

  Philip said he didn’t see it.

  ‘Oh, but I do,’ said the Pretenderette; ‘if you fail, then it’s my turn, and I might very likely succeed the minute after you’d failed. So we’ll all go on comfortably together. Won’t that be nice?’

  A speechless despair seemed to have fallen on the party. Nobody spoke. The children looked blank, the dogs whined, the camel put on his haughtiest sneer, and the parrot fidgeted in his fluffed-out feather dress.

  ‘Let’s be starting,’ said the motor lady. ‘Gee-up, pony!’ A shiver ran through every one present. That a Pretenderette should dare to speak so to a Hippogriff!

  Suddenly the parrot spread its wings and flew to perch on Philip’s shoulder. It whispered in his ear.

  ‘Whispering is not manners, I know,’ it said, ‘but your own generous heart will excuse me. “Parcel of birds and children.” Doesn’t your blood boil?’

  Philip thought it did.

  ‘Well, then,’ said the bird impatiently, ‘what are we waiting for? You’ve only got to say the word and I’ll take her back by the ear.’

  ‘I wish you would,’ said Philip from the heart.

  ‘Nothing easier,’ said the parrot, ‘the miserable outsider! Intruding into our expedition! I advise y
ou to await my return here. Or if I am not back by the morning there will be no objection to your calling, about noon, on the Dwellers. I can rejoin you there. Good-bye.’

  It stroked his ear with a gentle and kindly beak and flew into the air and circled three times round the detested motor lady’s head.

  ‘Get away,’ she cried, flapping her hands furiously; ‘call your silly Poll-parrot off, can’t you?’ And then she screamed, ‘Oh! it’s got hold of my ear!’

  ‘Oh, don’t hurt her,’ said Lucy.

  ‘I will not hurt her;’ the parrot let the ear go on purpose to say this, and the Pretenderette covered both ears with her hands. ‘You person in the veil, I shall take hold again in a moment. And it will hurt you much less if the Hippogriff and I happen to be flying in the same direction. See? If I were you I should just say “Go back the way you came, please,” to the Hippogriff, and then I shall hardly hurt you at all. Don’t think of getting off. If you do, the dogs will have you. Keep your hands over your ears if you like. I know you can hear me well enough. Now I am going to take hold of you again. Keep your hands where they are. I’m not particular to an ear or so. A nose will do just as well.’

  The person on the Hippogriff put both hands to her nose. Instantly the parrot had her again by the ear.

  ‘Go back the way you came,’ she cried; ‘but I’ll be even with you children yet.’

  The Hippogriff did not move.

  ‘Let go my ear,’ screamed the lady.

  ‘You’ll have to say please, you know,’ said Philip; ‘not to the bird, I don’t mean that: that’s no good. But to the Hippogriff.’

  ‘Please then,’ said the lady in a burst of temper, and instantly the white wings parted and spread and the Hippogriff rose in the air. Polly let the ear go for the moment to say:

  ‘I shan’t hurt her so long as she behaves,’ and then took hold again and his little grey wings and the big white wings of the Hippogriff went sailing away across the desert.

  ‘What a treasure of a parrot?’ said Philip. But Lucy said: