Dusk (Young Adult Paranormal Romance)

by Amy Durham

  “You may be dead set on defying me by taking part in this kind of dangerous behavior, but you will not drive your car under the influence,” she’d said. I’ll never forget the deep look of sadness in her eyes as she took my keys and dropped them in her pocket. “These are mine until further notice.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered. Simple words and not nearly enough to express what I felt.

  When I reached to pick up the keys, her hand covered mine and squeezed. The smile she gave me said more than any words about how far we’d come.

  “Adrian’s picking me up tonight,” I said. “Is that okay?”

  “I should be really worried about that motorcycle,” Mom said, chuckling. “But for some reason I feel all right about it.”

  Yeah, he had a way of smoothing things out.

  “He’s always careful. And I wear a helmet. Actually, he bought me my very own.” I cleared the dishes and loaded them in the dishwasher. “What time should I be home?”

  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d asked or cared about my curfew.

  “It’s a school night, so sometime before ten, okay?”

  I nodded, happier than I would’ve imagined to be having this normal conversation with my mom.

  I wished I could tell her what I’d learned about her medical bill. I was pretty sure she had no idea. It would’ve been the kind of thing she’d have told me as she tried to get me to open up about dad. Knowing what he did for her – for us – had given me so much peace, and I wanted her to feel it too.

  Turning it over in my mind, I came up with a plan.

  “Remember that fishing tip Dad was saving for?” I asked, snapping the dishwasher lid shut and turning it on.

  Mom nodded. “He was so excited about it, even though it was a year away.”

  “Didn’t he have a bank account set up?” I sat back down at the table. “Where he was keeping the money he saved?”

  Mom’s eyes narrowed, and I worried she would wonder how I’d known about the account. But the three of us lived in the same house, so if she asked, I’d just tell her I’d overheard something.

  Which wouldn’t exactly be untrue.

  “He did,” she replied, apparently unconcerned about my knowledge of Dad’s savings. “But he closed the account a few days before he died. I assume he needed the money for living expenses since he’d been staying in Lexington after he moved out of the house.”

  “Surely Uncle Nolan wasn’t charging him rent,” I offered. I took a deep breath and continued with what I hoped would point her toward the truth of what he’d done with that money. “Maybe he paid off a debt or something.”

  She opened her mouth as if to object, but stopped. I watched her expression change as she worked her way back to those first few days after his funeral when everything was so chaotic.

  And saw the moment the truth hit her.

  Her eyes misted over and small smile played on her lips. “You know,” she said with a heavy sigh. “I bet that’s exactly what he did.”

  I heard Adrian’s bike rumble into the driveway. He came to the door and exchanged the normal pleasantries with Mom, like the true gentleman he was. I could tell she was still elated from the revelation that Dad had paid that medical bill. My heart was joyous and full that after all she’d done for me, I’d been able to help her just a little.

  I felt the soft breeze swirling around, lifting my hair off my shoulders, Mom, Adrian, and I talked on the front porch. His calming presence never ceased to amaze me.

  Waving goodbye to Mom, I took my helmet Adrian that held for me and walked beside him toward the bike. I had no idea what I’d experience tonight.

  The thought thrilled me.

  Chapter 30

  “How about a walk in the water before we start?” Adrian asked as we stepped out of the trees and into our clearing.

  Our clearing. That’s how I thought of this place now.

  Smiling, I nodded. Adrian bent to unlace his boots and I kicked off my flip-flops. A moment later, jeans rolled almost to our knees, we stepped hand in hand into the cool water.

  “Nice way to spend a late summer evening,” he said.

  “Very,” I answered, leaning into him. “Kind of romantic.”

  “We haven’t had enough of that.” He kissed the top of my head. “I’m sorry for that.”

  “Not your fault.” I shook my head. “Circumstances.”

  He pulled us to a stop, the pebbles slick and cool beneath my feet and water splashing gently around my ankles. The sun still shone bright behind the trees but dipped lower in the sky as sunset approached.

  Adrian turned to face me. The look in his eyes left me breathless. His gaze was full of softness and longing. And did I dare to think it… love?

  “I came here on assignment,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I was supposed to help you forgive.”

  “You have.” I stepped closer, grasping both his hands in mine.

  “I never expected to fall in love with you.”

  Fireworks exploded inside my chest and my knees wobbled. Of all the things I thought he might say, I never imagined this. That he would say it first, in the moments before he would take me to see my father one last time. That he could even love me at all.

  It was so beyond anything I deserved.

  “It’s muddied the waters a bit for me,” he said. “Loving you and being assigned to you.”

  “Adrian, I –”

  He stopped my reply with a touch of his finger to my lips. Just as well, since I had no idea what I was about to say. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, that he wasn’t in this alone, that I was so grateful for every moment, every smile. There was so much inside me for him that I didn’t even know where to start.

  “I told you before that I’ve wondered about my motivations,” he began. “When I manipulated time to go back and video Nikki putting those things in your locker, I was afraid I’d crossed the line. I did it because of my feelings for you, not just because of my assignment.”

  “Adrian, I need to tell you –”

  He stopped me again. “But I realize now that anything done out of real love isn’t selfish. I didn’t do it to try to impress you or to make you like me more. I wasn’t thinking about any personal benefit. The truth is, I’d have done it even if you hated me. Because I love you.”

  I felt a tear escape my eye, and I knew if I blinked more would roll down my cheeks. But I could not take my eyes off Adrian. The fierce look of love on his face and the sincerity of his words were stunning.

  “When I talk about my Boss, you know who I mean, right?”

  I nodded. Even if we’d never said it out loud, I knew. Adrian worked for God. As surreal as that sounded, I knew it was true.

  “He’s the most unselfish person there is. And he does great stuff for us all the time. He saves us from terrible things, and most of the time we don’t even know it. He does all this not for any kind of personal gain, but because He loves us.”

  I nodded, and for the first time in my life I felt and understood the kind of love I’d always heard about, the kind of love Adrian was talking about.

  “Real love isn’t selfish,” Adrian whispered. “It’s selfless.”

  His heavy sigh let me know he was finished. Maybe now he’d let me talk. I reached up and twined my arms around his neck, tip-toeing to get my face closer to his. His arms circled my waist, helping me keep my balance on the slick stones beneath my toes.

  “I don’t know why you worried so much,” I said, a smile spreading across my face. “You’re the most selfless person I’ve ever known. And I love you, too.”

  His lips came down on mine, his arms tightening around me. Lifting me off my feet he twirled us there in the water, fast enough to make my head spin but slow enough to keep us upright. His lips never leaving mine, he walked us toward the creek bank.

  As my toes touched the grass, Adrian lifted his head and just looked at me. Behind him, the sun sank lower and glowed a bright orange, the bri
lliant color creeping into the clearing through the branches of the trees that surrounded us.

  Dusk, I thought. That time of the day when heaven seemed closest to earth. When anything was possible.

  When love could bloom.

  “I don’t deserve you,” I said.

  “Don’t say that.” He lifted his hands to my face, threaded his fingers into my hair. “Never say that. You do deserve love. Everyone on this planet deserves love.”

  “I think I finally believe that,” I said.

  He smiled, resting his forehead against mine. “Are you ready to tell your dad that?”

  “Yes.” And I was. I really, really was.

  Chapter 31

  We sat facing one another, on the same blanket we used the last time we’d come here. Adrian held both my hands in his as he explained a bit about what would happen.

  “I’m taking you to another plane of existence,” he explained. “That sounds really fancy and official, but it’s not really a place. Not physically anyway. If that makes any sense. It’s sort of a realm between here and the afterlife.”

  I nodded my semi-understanding. As much as science and physics were not my thing, I’d watched enough science fiction on TV to know what he was talking about.

  “This isn’t a skill we use often,” he continued, his thumbs stroking back and forth on my hands. “I’ve only seen my dad do this a couple of times.”

  Knowing that this skill was used sparingly made me all the more grateful that he was giving me this opportunity to tell my dad face to face that I’d forgiven him.

  “We can’t stay long, though,” he cautioned. “I’m sure you’re aware my Boss has people working against him. Crossing to different planes is one of the places that the enemy is able to intercept us, so to speak.”

  “Is it dangerous?” I asked, though the uncertainty would not be enough to stop me from doing this.

  “Not really,” he said, shaking his head. “The enemy can’t touch you. You don’t have to worry about being physically hurt or anything like that. But he can deceive you. That’s what he does. He twists words and ideas until he deceives you into making a choice that’s wrong.”

  “Sounds like I’ve had experience with him already,” I said, thinking of my reckless summer.

  Adrian nodded. “He used Nikki and Courtney to get to you. May have even been responsible for the upsetting visions you had of your father. But when we do this… when we cross to another plane, it’s possible he’ll approach you in a different way.”

  “How?” I whispered, wanting to somehow be as prepared as possible.

  Adrian shrugged his shoulders. “It’s not one specific way. Sometimes he’ll appear as a random person you’ve never seen before. Sometimes he speaks through someone you know. Other times it’s just an audible voice. If it happens, you’ll know immediately that it’s not part of what I’ve done. And I’ll be right here.” His hands squeezed mine. “I won’t let you go.”

  “I can handle him.” Nothing was going to keep me from seeing my dad one last time.

  “We may not even encounter him,” he said, leaning over to kiss my cheek. “That’s what I’m praying for anyway.”

  “Me too,” I said, sending up a prayer that all would be well. “I’m ready when you are.”

  “Here goes,” he said with a wink.

  A meadow appeared all around me. I could still feel myself sitting with Adrian in the clearing, but when I looked around I saw that I was standing in an open field. The grass was soft and cool on my bare feet. Even though he wasn’t in the meadow with me, Adrian’s gentle breeze moved across my skin, filling me with his soothing presence.

  The sun blazed high in the sky, as bright as midday. Across the meadow a small stand of trees swayed in the gentle wind. As I watched their movement, a figure materialized in front of them. Almost translucent at first, the colors began to come into focus, details became visible, and before I could blink, my father was there, walking across the meadow toward me.

  I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breath. My heart pounded and my mind raced. After all these months. All the hurt and all the guilt. He was here.

  And he was smiling.

  I wanted to weep, both for the joy of seeing him again and the sadness of knowing this was the very last time. How could I be given this gift but have it yanked away so quickly.

  Yet still, I was so very grateful.

  “Dad,” I managed, before I broke into sobs and ran into his arms.

  His arms pulled me in, his embrace warm and familiar. I wanted to stay there forever. Suddenly it didn’t matter what he’d done or how badly I’d wanted to hate him. Regardless of all that, he was my dad, and I loved him.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said, burying my face in chest and struggling to get a hold of myself. “All those awful things I said. I didn’t mean them.”

  “I know that, sweetheart.” He pulled back and tilted my face up to his. “I always knew that.”

  “Dad, I don’t have much time here.”

  “I know that, too,” he said, his eyes softening. “Give Adrian my thanks for giving us this moment.”

  “I forgive you, Dad,” I blurted, needing to say it worse than I needed to take my next breath. “For everything. I forgive you. Can you forgive me?”

  “Of course, Zoe.” He wrapped his arms around me again, placing a kiss on my temple the way he always used to. “Of course.”

  “I miss you so much.”

  “I’ve heard that you have someone new to help you with your math homework.”

  I felt the rumble of his laughter as he held me and my heart was simultaneously joyful and broken.

  “You’re a wonderful young lady, sweetheart,” he said. “And you’re going to be an amazing woman. I’ll be watching the whole time.”

  “I can’t believe this is the last time I’ll ever see you.”

  “Be glad we had this time,” he squeezed me tighter. “I am. I’ll be with you every moment.”

  He stepped back, smiling at me as his form began to fade away.

  “I’m so proud of you,” he said, fading more with each second. “And I love you so much.”

  “I love you, Dad.”

  He smiled once more, and then he was gone.

  Falling to my knees I gave over to the torrent of tears that had never truly subsided. Adrian waited for me in the clearing, and though I could feel his presence, I knew he was giving me this moment to grieve.

  Sadness coursed through me. The kind of sadness I hadn’t allowed myself when Dad died. The natural sadness that followed the death of a loved one, rather than the bitter, toxic kind I’d wallowed in at the time. But even through the sadness, I felt the unburdening of my spirit, the heaviness being replaced by a lightness that I’d not known in months.

  Adrian’s words returned to me then. You forgive for yourself, for your own well-being. Love can’t grow where bitterness takes root.

  He’d been right. I felt love begin to fill the emptiness that had ached inside me for so long. Love for my dad. For mom. For Adrian. The love had been there all along, but my guilt and hatred had hidden it.

  Now it had room to grow.

  Though I knew a part of me would always be sad for the loss of my father, I knew I was ready to return to Adrian and begin the process of going on with life the way Dad wanted me to. The way I wanted to.

  I got back on my feet and took a deep breath. Just as I was about to ask Adrian to bring me back a loud cracking noise thundered through the meadow.

  I looked around, confused and uncertain, and noticed the earth splitting in front of my feet. I jumped backward, afraid that the hole in the ground would swallow me. The deafening splintering continued, growing so loud I covered my ears and slammed my eyes shut.

  “Zoe,” said a familiar voice.

  Opening my eyes, I saw that what had been a peaceful, serene meadow was now a wide chasm, so deep the bottom could not be seen. Jagged edges of the ground jutted out in front of me, and I wondered
if hell was what lay at the bottom of the pit.

  A movement to my right caught my eye, and I turned to see the source of the voice, shock slamming me in the chest.

  “Courtney?”

  Chapter 32

  How could she be here? Though everything about her seemed normal, a dark and ominous shadow darkened her form.

  “In body, yes,” she replied in a voice that sounded like hers, but was somehow different, more sinister. “In spirit, not so much. I am the Inhabiter.”

  Just as Adrian told me, I realized immediately that this was not part of what he was showing me. Not part of his plan. Though I could no longer see the clearing, I reached back into my mind, pictured the two of us as I knew we were, sitting on the blanket holding hands. Focusing on the physical sensations, I felt his hands grip mine, tight and secure. His strength seeped into me, and I found the fortitude to continue.

  “Who are you?” I breathed, not exactly sure if I wanted an answer.

  “You know who I am!” This time, the voice that roared from Courtney’s throat was not hers, and a chill ran up my spine. “I’m the one who can give you your father back.”

  My heart lurched then seemed to stop altogether. What this inhabiter said was not possible. My father was dead. If there was a way to bring him back, Adrian would’ve told me.

  “Your little Messenger didn’t tell you that, did he?” the voice inside Courtney sneered. “Of course he didn’t. His kind aren’t ones to offer you what you actually want.”

  Could it be true? My mind raced with the possibility and I struggled to maintain my balance.

  “All you have to do is wish it,” the inhabiter said, the voice now a smooth, inviting tone. “Just say the words, and I can make it happen.”