Unspoken

by Liz McMullen

  Jodeci shook her attention from a particularly buxom Smithie. “Nope.”

  “She let a buddy borrow it and it was stolen from right in front of Kat and Carolyn’s house.” Rowan couldn’t believe the friend was stupid enough not to lock the bike through the frame.

  “How the hell did they manage that? Carolyn is so anal about locking things up.”

  “Her friend didn’t secure it to the post properly. We think a local kid stole it. It was a sweet ride and all they needed to do was move the chain over the handlebars.” The news had upset Rowan. She knew what kind of money Carolyn put into the bike, far beyond the original cost. “That was a very expensive mistake. Her friend felt awful.”

  “Did Carolyn blow her stack? She spent more time pimping that ride than she did on her motorcycle.” Jodeci grabbed the “oh shit” bar when Rowan swerved to avoid a jogger who appeared out of nowhere. “Fuckin’ watch where you’re going, moron!”

  “Oh, you make me feel right at home. I love when you go all New Yorker on me.”

  Rowan laughed as the woman gave them both the finger. Once her heart dislodged from her throat, she enjoyed the view as she passed the girl. She was wearing a cross-country hoodie. Rowan hoped she paid more attention to where she was going when competing.

  They were nearing the end of Riverside Drive. “Keep your eye out—should be one of these houses,” Rowan said.

  “Why aren’t you using your GPS?”

  “Live a little. Makes me nostalgic for my teen years.”

  Jodeci rested her hand on Rowan’s shoulder. “You’re going gray before your time.”

  Rowan looked in the rearview mirror for what turned out to be imaginary gray hairs. “Fuck you, slick. I’m not convinced you don’t have hair plugs or a weave. Your hair is unnaturally thick.”

  Jodeci ran her hands through her hair, pretending to look for the weave. “Nope, all real.”

  “Oh, there it is, the dark blue house with the white shutters.” The furniture wasn’t the only thing about the house that needed work. The paint was peeling and a few shutters were loose. “Wonder if they need me to fix them?”

  “Watch your mouth. We’re already taking on enough things from their honey-do list.”

  Rowan nearly had a heart attack when a little girl ran from the house to meet her truck. “Shit!” She screeched to a halt.

  Chapter Eighteen

  A running woman intercepted the toddler like an NFL MVP.

  “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” Rowan’s heart was racing a mile a minute.

  The running back held a delighted and squirming blondie with cornflower-blue eyes. The child’s eyes were so striking, Rowan almost forgot to breathe.

  “I think I may need to change my boxers.” Jodeci sounded as breathless as Rowan felt.

  Rowan waited for the flashback and was grateful when it didn’t surface. Once she was certain her brain was no longer rattling around in her head, she opened the door and greeted Sarah. “You didn’t tell me you birthed Flash Gordon.”

  Sarah had the same vivid blue eyes, but her hair was brown, verging on auburn. “I’m trying to figure out what her game will be.”

  Jodeci joined them on the narrow path to the front door. “I’m leaning toward fly-half, though soccer is not out of the question.”

  Sarah’s welcoming smile widened. “I was a rugby eight man.”

  “Kinda short for that,” Jodeci blurted, then looked contrite.

  “No worries. Five-six is on the short side, but I couldn’t bear being a prop or second.” Sarah swayed the child back and forth. The little blond terror had fallen asleep. “She has two positions, high speed and off.”

  A dapper butch opened the screen door and chided her wife. “You Yankees, you have no manners. Invite them in. It’s the least we can do since Evangeline shaved a good ten years off their young lives.”

  Sarah winked and led the way inside. It was only when she passed the toddler to her wife that Rowan saw how very pregnant Sarah was. She was pure Viking Valkyrie, which explained how she managed to snatch her child away from danger.

  “I’m Marley Jameson, this ogre’s wife.”

  The toddler in her arms murmured, “Ogre.”

  Everyone laughed, but the joyous noise did nothing to disturb the child’s slumber. Rowan figured she could sleep through a five-alarm fire. Some kids were like that.

  “I’ll make it up to them.”

  “Should I be worried that you are catering to two excessively tall, dark, and handsome butches?”

  Rowan’s eyes widened. She’d never met Marley, but could see how the two would be a good match.

  Jodeci answered for them, “Oh she’s safe as can be. Unless she’s a good cook…then I think you might be in trouble.”

  “Oh, thank heavens.” Marley laid on her Southern accent pretty thick. “She could burn water, so she’s only allowed in the kitchen under supervision.”

  Rowan chuckled. The couple felt like family.

  Marley turned her attention to Rowan. “Why don’t you follow me upstairs as I put the little one down for her nap? I can show you the nursery and Evie’s playroom.”

  “Sure. Jodeci, come with us. Sarah, do you want to join us?”

  Sarah leaned against the railing and rested her head on the banister. “I’ll pour us some sweet tea and rest. That little interception took a lot out of me.”

  Marley’s face dropped. “Honey, do you need to lie down?”

  Sarah walked to her wife’s side and gave her a reassuring kiss. “No damage done. You know how tired I can get during this part of my pregnancy.”

  Marley shifted her small burden to one side and used her free hand to brush loose strands behind her wife’s ear. “I do. I also appreciate you paying attention to your body. I haven’t unpacked the pearls and fainting couch yet.”

  Sarah barked out a laugh that startled Rowan with its sharp and unexpected report not unlike a gunshot. The laughter that followed was warm, and Rowan couldn’t help but join in. This was the kind of crazy she grew up with, and she hoped she would find a partner who would complement her in the way these two did each other.

  She ruthlessly suppressed the image of Desiree carrying her child. What is it with that woman? She doesn’t even want to be in the same room with me, never mind start a family together.

  Rowan realized she was lagging behind and took the stairs two at a time to catch up. The mess she encountered made her jaw drop. This was beyond a honey-do list.

  Chapter Nineteen

  It looked like a moving man had sneezed, hurtling boxes all over the place. Some were open, others sealed as if they’d only dug out what they needed and didn’t buckle down enough to make the space livable. This bothered Rowan. So she politely offered to help them unpack. It took most of the day, and the fall meant sunset arrived way too early.

  There was another benefit to helping: she got a sense of the couple and their sweet daughter Evie, who was more helpful than Rowan thought possible for someone so young.

  Rowan was pleasantly surprised to see fresh drywall, both in the nursery and in the room that would be Evie’s. They moved her toddler bed into the master bedroom, where it would stay until Rowan finished the murals.

  She ran her hand over the surface of the drywall, checking for damp spots or areas she would need to sand. The family had gone downstairs to eat dinner, but Rowan and Jodeci wouldn’t be joining them. “Jo, somebody did this right.”

  “Thank God! After that boxnado, I expected a lot more work.”

  “That’s because I did the drywall,” Sarah spoke softly, but still managed to scare the crap out of them. “Sorry, guys. I actually came upstairs for a bigger ‘I’m sorry’ and a proper thank-you.” Sarah passed Rowan and Jodeci to-go cups filled with a rich brew.

  “Coffee,” Jodeci murmured. Her buddy didn’t usually go gaga for coffee, well that wasn’t exactly true, but Jodeci was a bit of a coffee snob. This fresh cup alone was enough contrition.

  “Marley m
eans well and has been trying to ‘help’ me unpack.” Sarah rested her hand on her rounded belly, an unconscious move many mothers made.

  Rowan smiled. Kids were definitely on her bucket list. She’d always wanted to be a mother. She rested her hand on her own stomach briefly, wondering what it would feel like to carry a life.

  Sarah caught the gesture, a glimmer of approval in her eyes. “Normally I would be the captain of the fixer-upper ship, but this baby is growing like gangbusters.” She gently patted her belly. “Just wanted to let you know, if you catch me watching you work with longing, know it’s your trowel I want, not your young hot bods.”

  Jodeci’s laughter was so sharp, Rowan winced. She put her finger in her ear and rubbed gently. “A ruptured eardrum, just what I always wanted!”

  “I aim to please the ladies.”

  Sarah snorted. “Anyhow, I wanted to give Marley the benefit of the doubt, letting her take control of unpacking. But she is easily distracted by squirrels and shiny things.”

  Rowan chuckled. “Makes sense now.” She looked around the nursery, but the growing shadows meant she’d have to come by tomorrow.

  Sarah produced two white envelopes with a flourish. “Here’s your hazard pay. Rowan, you can come by tomorrow to start painting or whenever it works out for your schedule. I know you have classes and homework, so I’m completely cool with you setting your own hours.”

  “Thanks, Sarah, I’ll text you tomorrow. And thanks for being flexible.”

  “Don’t mention it. Besides, you were a big help today. Though I don’t think Evie will be pleased that all her regular clothes are unpacked. She’s been working the angles on how to get us to let her wear her drama dress-up clothes outside the house.” Sarah tapped her nail on the door frame. “I’ll let you go. And Jodeci?”

  Jodeci was pouting at her empty cup. “Yeah?”

  “There’s enough for a refill, so serve yourself before you leave.”

  Jodeci’s eyes lit up like a child told they could eat all of their Halloween chocolate in one sitting.

  “For reals?” Jodeci was bouncing on the balls of her feet with excitement.

  Rowan wondered if scraping her roomie off the ceiling was in her future.

  “You got it, slugger. Besides, Evie says she’s going to hold you hostage until you give her another piggyback ride.”

  Jodeci rested her hand on her heart and laid it on thick. “That’s a price I am willing to pay.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Porter Hall

  Desiree curled up on the window seat and looked out on the green. It was like watching bees in a hive. Some students were on a mission, determined, their eyes focused on their destination. Others were playful and boisterous, enjoying the company of friends. She smiled briefly at the Kelly twins, opposites personality wise, yet they always seemed connected, aware of each other. Her smile faded as her thoughts returned to their night at The Crooked Arrow and how it ended.

  When Rowan had returned the cell phone, she’d been nothing but kind and considerate. She respected Desiree’s boundaries, and yet Desiree had repaid her with suspicion and outright rudeness. Completely ungrateful. It was one thing to be protective of her heart and not want romance getting in the way of her future and another thing to punish someone for her kindness.

  Rowan had stood in the doorway, making no move to enter Desiree’s space. The lack of welcome probably hurt and that hurt sent Rowan down the staircase and away from Desiree.

  Desiree did not want to be that person. She’d worked so hard to learn to treat people with compassion and care, yet here she was, cutting Rowan’s legs out from beneath her for selfish reasons. She had to make it up to her, but how?

  She didn’t have Rowan’s phone number, but Jodeci did. They were roommates. Desiree decided her behavior deserved swallowing some of her pride. When a freshly showered Jodeci showed up on her doorstep, she knew she needed to make this right.

  “Come on in. Seems like you and Suzie had the same idea. She’s in the shower.” Desiree looked down at her cell phone to check the time. “She’s been in there a good thirty minutes.”

  “Ah,” Jodeci said with her trademark wolfish expression. “Should I check in on her, make sure she didn’t slip or drown?”

  Desiree paused and took a good look at her friend. Beneath the bravado, she saw vulnerability. Jodeci was in love with Suzie and had no clue what to do. Desiree figured this happened to a lot of players when they decided to play a new game—for keeps. “I think she would welcome you fully clothed, but I was hoping I could talk to you while you wait.”

  Jodeci’s expression dimmed as if she expected “the talk” about her intentions, but Desiree was going to let that elephant lie. Not wanting to cause her friend any more discomfort, she plunged into her pitch. “I was wondering if you could give me your address and Rowan’s number. I need to talk to her—”

  Jodeci’s expression darkened. “Desiree, I think she’s taken as much rejection as she can from you. I don’t want to set her up for another bad experience.”

  Desiree flopped on her bed, tugged at her pillow, and held it tight to her chest. She deserved that, but it still knocked the wind out of her. She opened her mouth to respond but nixed every idea and excuse that popped into her head. She tried several times then gave up. She flushed, ashamed that her behavior had pushed Jodeci into protector mode.

  Jodeci eased beside her and shimmied until she was sitting against the wall, crossing her legs while making sure her boots didn’t rest on Desiree’s comforter. “Why have you treated her that way? All she has ever done is be kind to you.” Jodeci fussed with her cell but didn’t wake the screen. She was grateful Jodeci wasn’t the type to text during a serious conversation, even if what she had to say hurt. “This time you hurt her. She won’t talk to me about you at all.”

  “I had my reasons to keep her at a distance—” Desiree raised her hands to hold off her friend’s response. “No matter what those reasons were, I had no right to act so ungratefully. It was rude of me and I want to apologize.”

  She hoped to end it at that, but Jodeci was not quite done with her.

  “What do you want from her? Showing up at her doorstep is a bit invasive, and getting her number without her permission is also a bit much. If she had done the same to you, how would you react?” Jodeci looked at her pointedly. “Probably worse than you already have. Probably give her an earful, no matter what her motivation was.”

  “Please stop. I deserve what you are saying and have even had words with myself for my behavior.” Desiree pulled her hair away from her face and protected it in a tight bun. She was feeling vulnerable. She hugged her pillow even tighter.

  Jodeci thawed a bit. “I’ll ask her if it’s okay to share her private information. Then it’s her choice, not yours. She deserves as much.”

  The ache that was a minor pain became a tense ball of stress. Desiree pressed her palm to her chest to soothe it. The moments that ticked by as she waited for Rowan to respond made her jittery. She stood up and started to tidy her desk. When her own cell beeped, she jumped in surprise. The unfamiliar number was accompanied by a message from Rowan.

  She took the fact that Rowan had contacted her directly as a good sign. She tapped off an invitation to coffee before she could talk herself out of it and tugged Jodeci into a hug and was grateful when her friend returned the gesture. “I get it, Jodeci. I’d be as protective of Suzie if someone was messing with her head.”

  “Who’s messing with whose head?” Suzie asked as she breezed into the room in her fluffy pink terrycloth robe, rubbing the excess water from her hair with a towel. She was so effortlessly sexy, and Desiree wished she was as confident in her own skin. Suzie wore her full figure and lush curves with pride, putting an extra swish in her step for Jodeci’s benefit. Desiree blinked twice and realized that Jodeci was there for a date. A real date, not a friends-with-benefits date. She wasn’t sure how she knew, but the energy between her friends was different. She
hoped this was a positive sign and that this good omen crossed over into her date with Rowan.

  She recoiled a bit at the thought of this being a date but decided not to look into it too much. It was not a date, but she knew Rowan cared for her in a unique way. Desiree was going to find out what Rowan really wanted from her…and would possibly learn how she felt in the process.

  “I’ll leave you two alone. Suzie, do you need anything from Northampton?” Desiree asked as she pulled a cable-knit sweater over her concert T-shirt.

  “The only thing I need from Northampton is already here,” Suzie said, her voice husky enough to give Desiree goose bumps, and she didn’t like her friend that way.

  “Okay,” Desiree said, drawing the word out a few syllables. “I’ll be off then.”

  Suzie and Jodeci didn’t bother saying good-bye. Their mating dance had already begun.

  Desiree closed the door softly behind her and plucked her keys from her purse. She wondered if she too would be dancing. The thought made her jittery and excited all at once. She would find out soon enough.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Rowan and Jodeci’s Apartment

  Desiree opted to meet Rowan at her apartment and wanted to feel things out before committing to anything. No need to get wrapped up in another awkward situation, especially in public. The Haymarket was a very popular place where they would be seen and assumed on a date. A quirky thing about being a lesbian at Mount Holyoke: agreeing to coffee was a date. She’d seen Suzie sidestep more than one coffee invitation for this reason. Coffee was never just coffee.

  When Rowan opened the door, she was toweling off her hair and Desiree just about swallowed her own tongue. Rowan was still barefoot, her jeans a little frayed at the cuffs. They fit her long frame so well, Desiree was tempted to reach out and caress the well-loved denim.

  Rowan’s mouth was open, but no sound came out.

  It didn’t help that Desiree was making things weird. She needed to stop staring and start acting like a normal person. “Am I interrupting something? I know you were expecting me, but it was short notice, so if you need to…”