Cast in Shadows

by Laura Landon

  “And you thought you could prevent that from happening?”

  “I could have,” Gideon answered with the anger he still felt when he realized how Eve had betrayed him. “If only Eve wouldn’t have told you what she’d found out. If only she would have kept her findings to herself.”

  His Grace sat forward. “Do you know what you were asking of her?”

  “Yes. I was simply asking her to trust me. To trust the decision I had made.”

  The Duke of Townsend’s fist came down hard against the table. His eyes turned hard, his glare lethal. “How dare you!” he yelled. “How dare you ask Miss Cornwell to keep silent with what Ernesta had done? How dare you to expect the woman who loves you to watch in silence while Ernesta made one attempt after another to poison you!”

  Gideon stared at his father in shock. “But look what has happened. Revealing what Ernesta had done has torn our family apart.”

  “And you think your brother, or sisters, or myself are so weak we will not recover from what your stepmother did?” His father pushed away from the table and rose to his feet. He paced down one side of the table, then the other. “You think it would have been easier for us to live with your death? She wouldn’t have given up until you were dead, you know! She wanted every reminder of Rebecca gone. She wanted to reign as the Duchess of Townsend. She wanted Benjamin to be the heir to the Townsend dynasty. And that would only happen if you were dead.”

  His father paused and glared at him. “Do you think I could have continued to live if you were gone? Don’t you realize how important you are to me? I love you. You were my firstborn. My connection to your mother. The only reminder I have of the love your mother and I shared. And I thank God that Miss Cornwell loved you enough to reveal what Ernesta was doing and decided to risk losing your love to keep you safe.”

  His father stopped pacing and stared at Gideon. “It will take time, but we will survive what Ernesta did. But I would never have survived if I had lost you.”

  Gideon sank into a chair and stared at the wall in front of him. Colorful tapestries fluttered behind elegant vases and burnished candelabra. Pretty vines crawled their way across priceless wallpaper. But the only thing he saw was Eve’s face. Her smile when she looked at him. The love in her eyes. And the hurt in her eyes when she left him.

  “I’ve been a fool, haven’t I?” he said to no one in particular.

  “Not entirely,” his father answered from behind him. “But you’ll be an unmitigated ass if you don’t go after her.”

  Gideon turned to face his father. “Never let it be said that any of the Duke of Townsend’s offspring are an ass. Unmitigated or just a bit.”

  And Gideon turned on his heel and went to find the woman he loved with all his heart.

  CHAPTER 28

  Eve walked through Shadowdown cottage as she did each day on her way to help her father. The cottage where Gideon had lived held so many memories it was impossible not to spend at least a few minutes of her day reliving them.

  She opened the door and entered the foyer. This was where Gideon always met her when she arrived. As she opened the door, she not only saw him standing here, but she remembered the smile on his face when he looked at her. His smile warmed her like nothing else could.

  She walked down the hall to the study where they spent most of their time. This is where they talked, where they learned about each other, where she’d first realized that she loved him.

  She walked to the window and opened the drapery a little. This room had always been so bright and cheery. She couldn’t bear to see it closed in darkness. This isn’t how Gideon kept it.

  She walked through the room, running her finger along the fireplace mantel, over the top of the desk where Gideon sat to write in his journal, then atop the back of the chair where he sat behind his desk.

  She gave the room a final glance before she left it, then made her way to the kitchen. She could still see Lettie working at the stove, and if she closed her eyes, she swore she could smell the delicious scent of warm apple pie, fresh from the oven.

  She looked at the table. This was where she and Lettie and Gideon sat nearly every afternoon for tea. She walked to the chair where Gideon always sat and ran her hand over the top rung of the wooden chair.

  When the pain was more than she could bear, she walked along the hallway to the other wing of the house. The room where Gideon slept was here. The room where they’d made love.

  She stood at the open doorway and took in the room. She couldn’t enter. The hurt was still too raw. The memories too painful. She’d given him her body that night. She’d given him more than that. She’d given him her heart. Even though she’d known he’d never be able to keep it. The gulf separating them was too wide.

  His clothes were still in the wardrobe. His cravats and shirts and stockings in the drawers of the dressers. They would remain there until he sent someone for them.

  Eve brushed her fingers over her cheeks to wipe at the tears that ran down her cheeks. She hoped that no one would come for his belongings. As long as they were here, she could pretend that he hadn’t really left.

  She scanned the room one more time, letting her gaze stop when she reached the bed. If she closed her eyes, she could see his body over hers, feel the corded muscles of his arms and shoulders, see the desire in his eyes. And more than that, she could feel his flesh touching hers. Feel him inside her, and imagine if she held out her arms, he would be there and she could keep him with her.

  But she couldn’t. He’d never been hers to keep. He was the heir to a dukedom. There could never be anything between them.

  A river of tears ran down her cheeks and she brushed the wetness away when she heard the front door open then close. It was no doubt Matthew or Thomas. They made rounds every day to make sure the cottage was secure.

  Eve swept her fingers over her cheeks once more, then turned. This wouldn’t be the first time one of the guards had discovered her here. She came often.

  She walked back down the hall and made her way to the kitchen. If she were fortunate enough, she could escape out the back door before they saw her.

  She reached the kitchen door and pressed down on the latch. Then stopped.

  “Eve,” a deep, masculine voice said from behind her.

  Her breath caught. A painful pressure settled against her chest. She couldn’t escape so she braced herself to turn. Prepared herself to see his face. Readied herself to view the scorn and disdain she’d seen in his eyes the last time she’d seen him.

  “Eve,” he repeated, and she forced herself to turn.

  The sight of him there stole her breath. He was as magnificently handsome as she remembered. He was as tall and broad shouldered as she recalled him being. And he looked as healthy as she’d hoped to see him, though his face was paler than she thought it should be, and the dark circles beneath his eyes indicated he may not be getting as much sleep as he should.

  Gnarled fingers wrapped around her heart and squeezed painfully. His prediction of how difficult it would be for his father and his family was no doubt true. She felt a pang of regret.

  “Lord Sheffield,” she said, with a bob of respect.

  “Eve, I—”

  “I was just leaving,” she said. “If you will excuse me.” She turned to the door.

  “No, Eve. Don’t leave.”

  She ignored his order and opened the door.

  His hand reached over her head and closed the door with a firm thud.

  He stood close enough to her that the heat from his body warmed her spine. She couldn’t move but remained where she was, facing the door with her forehead pressed against the wood.

  His hand lowered and she felt his warm palms touch her shoulders.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked, running his fingers up and down her arms.

  His touch affected her as much now as it had before he’d turned his back on her. Spikes of fiery heat raced through her. The heat from his body wrapped around her like a warm
blanket. She tried to escape but couldn’t. The grip on her arms tightened, not firm enough to hurt her, but enough to let her know he had no intention of releasing her. He turned her in his arms until she faced him.

  “Do you come here often?” he asked, stepping back from her to give her room.

  She twisted out of his grasp and walked to the other side of the room.

  “Occasionally. To make sure nothing has been disturbed. That’s all.”

  He moved to the hearth and placed some logs in the grate. “Is there anything here to make tea?”

  “There may be,” she answered, but she didn’t move. She didn’t want to have tea with him. She didn’t want to spend time with him. Being with him hurt too much. Just being in the same room with him caused her heart to ache with unbearable agony. Looking at him, remembering what they’d shared was torture.

  “Would you like a cup?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “I can’t stay. I need to go to the asylum. Father’s expecting me.”

  She turned, but his words stopped her.

  “Please stay, Eve. I don’t want you to leave.”

  She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Yes, you do. You made that plain the last time we spoke.”

  “I was wrong.”

  “No, you weren’t. What we shared wasn’t real. You needed my help and I provided it. You… we both read more into what was happening between us than we should have.”

  “How can you say that?” His eyebrows lifted and a frown deepened across his forehead. “Have you forgotten—?”

  “I haven’t forgotten anything, Lord Sheffield. In fact, now I see clearly several things I shouldn’t have forgotten before.”

  “And those would be?”

  She grabbed fistfuls of the material of her skirt and held it tight. She needed something to hold on to so she wouldn’t wrap her arms around her middle. The pain gnawing at her insides was so severe she wasn’t sure she could hold up against it.

  “The most obvious is the difference in our stations. You are the Marquess of Sheffield, heir to the Duke of Townsend. I am the daughter of a country doctor.”

  “That doesn’t matter to me,” he argued.

  “Perhaps not to you, and perhaps not now. But eventually, it will. I will be like the proverbial albatross around your neck. In time you will realize that who I am—or rather, what I am not, prevents you from taking your rightful place in Society. It will also reflect negatively on your sisters when the time comes for them to make matches.”

  “Don’t do this, Eve,” he whispered softly. “Don’t put up barricades to prevent us from having a future together.”

  “The barricades are already there, my lord. You have just refused to see how high and impossible they are to hurdle.”

  “They’re not!” he said with enough force to startle her.

  “They are. But that is only the first hurdle. Our past is the next obstacle we’d have to clear.”

  “How can you say our past is a hurdle? The past is what brought us together. Our pasts have made us inseparable.”

  She leveled him a steady glare. “And when you think of me, what one thing is most important?”

  “That you saved me! That you gave me back my life!”

  She couldn’t keep her hands at her side any longer. They wrapped around her waist and held tight against the pain. She couldn’t bear it any longer. She couldn’t go through with this, even though she knew she had to. She’d always known it. Always known that she and Gideon had no future together. Always. But stepping away from him hurt so terribly much she didn’t think she could survive the pain.

  She lifted her gaze. “A simple thank you would suffice for what I did, my lord.”

  Her heart was breaking. The thing that beat inside her breast somehow slowed, then seemed to die a shattering death. She’d always known there wasn’t a future for her with him. Always known the gap that separated them was too wide and impossible to bridge. But he’d been confined here too long to know the life that awaited him. The place in Society where he belonged. He would be a duke someday.

  She would always be the daughter of a country doctor. But for a few months she’d allowed herself to live the life of a fairy princess. For a short time, she’d lived a dream. And she would never forget the gift of love he’d given her.

  “Don’t do this, Eve,” he whispered.

  She heard the grief in his voice. But she knew what she was doing was for the best. She needed to free him so he could be what he was destined to be.

  “You haven’t lived yet, Gideon. You haven’t experienced all there is for someone in your position to see and do. Until you’ve gone to London and taken your rightful place, you’ll never know what kind of life is available to you.”

  She swallowed hard, then continued. “I won’t be responsible for holding you back, my lord. I won’t stake a claim on you today, then have you resent me in the future because you were not allowed the chance to make a decision as to what kind of life you wanted to lead. I can’t allow you to live with regrets.”

  She lifted her gaze to take a final look at him. His handsome features swam before her and she lowered her gaze before he could see the regret in her eyes.

  “Goodbye, Gideon.”

  She opened the door and walked away from him.

  He let her go.

  CHAPTER 29

  They were all worried for him. Gideon knew they were. But there wasn’t anything he could do about it. He’d tried to forget her, but it was impossible.

  It had been nearly five months since she’d walked away from him. When his father left for London, he’d gone with him for the remainder of the Season. He’d attended more balls and social functions than he wanted to go to for the rest of his life. He’d been stared at, fawned over, considered by any number of mamas and papas interested in making a match for their daughters. And what more prestigious a match than with the future Duke of Townsend?

  He’d been introduced to everyone his father deemed it necessary for him to know, and spent time at all the clubs to which his father belonged. While his brother…his younger brother introduced him to places and pleasures he had no idea existed.

  And he couldn’t wait to return to Townsend Manor. He hated London. Hated the crowds, the noise, the filth, and most of all, he hated the pretense. He disliked the façades everyone wore with such ease. Beneath the pomp and glitter, no one was who or what they appeared to be.

  He wanted to go back to the country. He wanted to go back to Eve. Even if he couldn’t touch her or hold her or be with her, he wanted to at least see her. He wanted to stand in the grove of trees behind the house she shared with her father and watch her walk to Shadowdown Sanitarium each morning. He wanted to watch her sit in the shade in the afternoons when she wasn’t helping her father. He just needed to see her, to make sure she was all right.

  Gideon looked out the carriage window and watched the countryside go by. They were getting close. They were on Townsend land. It wouldn’t be long now.

  “Let me guess the first place you’ll visit when we arrive,” Benjamin said, rousing himself from a long nap.

  Gideon ignored him and looked back out the window. Ben had slept nearly the entire way, but Gideon understood why, considering his brother had barely made it home from a night of carousing before the carriage was to leave London.

  “My guess would be Shadowdown Sanitarium so you can catch a glimpse of Miss Cornwell.”

  Gideon narrowed his gaze.

  “Did you manage even one day without thinking of her?” Benjamin asked, ignoring the warning Gideon gave him.

  “You mean one hour?” Gideon leaned forward in the carriage and rested his elbows on his knees. His head dropped between his arms.

  “What are you going to do, Gideon?”

  “I’m going to try again. And again. And again. Until she realizes that I don’t care that her father isn’t titled. That I don’t want to go back to London. You can have that life,” Gideon said lifti
ng his gaze to meet his brother’s smile. “All I want is to marry Eve and give her as many children as she wants.”

  Benjamin sat back against the squabs. “You have it bad, Gideon.”

  “You’ll feel the same when you meet the right girl.”

  Benjamin barked a loud laugh. “That will never happen. You have an advantage. Eve knows about Mother. There’s nothing you can say that will shock her. How do you imagine an innocent female from London Society will react when I say, ‘Oh, by the by. Did you know that my mother is a murderer? She murdered my father’s first wife and her doctor, but we stopped her before she murdered my brother.’”

  “Ben…,” Gideon started to say, but his brother held up his hand to stop him.

  “Just be sure you have an heir and a couple of spares, brother. I don’t plan on helping you out in that area.”

  Gideon couldn’t think of an answer for his brother. Hopefully, in time he would see things differently.

  The carriage turned down the long lane that led to Townsend Manor. “You don’t mind if I don’t come in, do you?” Gideon asked when the carriage stopped and his feet touched the ground.

  “No, you go to Shadowdown. Try harder to convince Eve to marry you. Father and I put up with your irritability for five months. I’m not sure we can manage another month of your lovesick moping.”

  Gideon gave his brother a friendly shove, then walked down the path that would take him to Eve. He wasn’t sure whether he’d find her still at the sanitarium with her father, or if she’d already gone home. He hoped she was home, and that she was alone. It would be easier to talk to her without having her father there to act as her champion.

  Gideon made his way down the path that led to her house. When he rounded the side of the cottage, he saw her. She was working in the small vegetable garden.

  She had a hoe in her hands and was clearing a small patch of earth in preparation for winter. His heart swelled in his chest as he watched her work. He loved her so completely he ached with his need to be near her.