“It’s nice out here. Do you swim a lot at night?” June asked, doing her best to engage him in conversation.
The sun was dipping behind the trees and it was becoming increasingly dark.
“When the current’s slow, but if it’s fast, you can't swim in it.”
“Noted. Fast current, you’re not in the river. So, where are you if the current’s fast?” Jake found himself answering her. It was as if they were two magnets and the pull was too great to fight.
“I’m either cleaning fish, or cleaning the barn, or doing something my old man has me doing.”
“Don’t you ever get any down time?” She moved from her back to tread closer to Jake, knowing that her parents would be mad if they caught her swimming right now. She also knew that when she spotted him swimming while on her walk that she couldn't miss the opportunity. She’d been on the river for two weeks with her parents and failed to get Jake’s attention.
“I guess so. If the old man is drunk and my work is done, then I’m off the hook. Usually, I just work until my body gives out.”
She thought about his body and how she admired it when she saw him shirtless, and since he was shirtless whenever he was working, this was quite often.
“My parents inherited this place from my Aunt Merda. She was my dad’s aunt and he always tells stories of spending summers here when he was a kid. What he failed to mention is that I’m the only fifteen-year-old for miles. So, I have a lot of time on my hands.”
She was hinting at spending time with him and he knew it, but his insecurities put in place by his dad made him think that maybe she wanted to hang out with him because he was her only option. Jake couldn't pass up the opportunity, though, and so he offered up, “I’m in the barn usually early and then before dusk. If you ever want to feed the chickens or see the steer, you’re welcome to come by.”
June’s face lit up at the invitation. Even under the darkening sky, he could see the joy in her big blues eyes and right there, he decided they were the prettiest eyes he’d ever seen. They were the kind of eyes he would think about always and the kind that would get him through the hardest nights.
“Really?” June asked. “You’d show me your cows?” Heck, for that smile, he’d do anything she asked. He didn't remember the last time anyone had looked at him without barking an order, let alone with that much happiness. He felt his playful side coming out and he gently splashed water at her.
“Sure I would. Where are you from anyways?”
She moved water towards him to mimic his splash, but she really was so excited he was talking to her that she didn’t want to play. She wanted to get to know Jake. She remembered meeting him a few summers ago when she visited with her parents, and even at twelve his blue-green eyes always stuck out to her.
“Ohio. I’m June,” she offered up shyly.
“I know, sweet Juniper.” He didn't mean to say that part out loud, but there was no taking it back once he did. Of course, he knew her name. His dad wouldn't shut up about how Bill Withers and his brat daughter June -and what kind of man names their kid June anyways- inherited the property that old Merda wouldn't sell to him. “I’m Jake. Jake Daniels.”
June sucked in a breath. He called her Juniper. No one called her Juniper. She liked it. She ducked under the water and swam close to him. When she resurfaced, she was closer to him than she’d expected and hoped he couldn’t tell how hard her heart was beating. “I know that too,” she said shyly, her breath hitching for a moment.
Jake’s breath also caught because of June’s nearness and he needed to make sure she didn't notice. He splashed her again, but this time it was a big splash, and she didn't hesitate to splash him back even harder. The two splashed until Jake found himself picking up the petite girl and tossing her into the water. She laughed like she never laughed before, and in those thirty-minutes had more fun than she had the entire two weeks she’d been there.
Over the next few weeks, June would wake up early to find Jake hard at work in the barn. She wanted to help to lessen his workload. At first, he was reluctant but when he saw how much she enjoyed it, how could he deny her? He quickly learned that he couldn't deny her anything.
June enjoyed working with Jake. He was strong and knowledgeable. She sometimes felt like a kid around him, but he was always patient with teaching her something new. She hated the way his dad talked to him whenever he would come around. Occasionally, he would ask what the hell she was doing there, but she couldn't seem to be scared off from Jake. His lure was too great.
In those first weeks, it took Jake a while to open up to June. He held a deep fear that he was no good for her. Eventually, her easy nature made him open up. She was somehow able to get him to talk to her about anything and everything. He told her about his mom’s early death and how his dad used to be an okay guy. He wasn't great, but okay enough, that was until she died, then he cared more about a bottle than he did about Jake. Jake told her how he was forced to drop out of school when he turned sixteen, the earliest age the state allowed, so that he could work.
Every confession Jake made only made June fall harder for him. She hated his father. Hated him for taking so much out on Jake and for not being a better man, hated him for making Jake work instead of getting to be a kid. June thought that Jake was the strongest person she’d ever met because of how well he seemed to handle everything.
Jake loved the fact that June had a fairly easy life with parents that were teachers and loved her very much. When he met June’s mom and was invited for dinner, he was more nervous he thought than possible, but as soon as he saw June, she calmed him. They were easy going and approved of the young couple's budding friendship.
The Withers’ were not blind to the cruel way Mike Daniels treated Jake. They saw the black eyes and bruises, but knowing their daughter, they knew that if anyone could bring happiness to that boy it would be her. Bill Withers even made a point to tell Jake he approved of their friendship, but Jake better not dream of taking it any farther with his fifteen-year-old daughter. Jake admired Mr. Withers and took things incredibly slow with June.
The first time they kissed, it was June who pushed it. It was always June who pushed things. Jake’s world turned upside down when he finally felt her small perfect lips against his and as soon as the kiss was over, she asked him to kiss her again. Of course, he couldn't deny her. He didn't let it go farther than that, not that day anyway, even though she riled him up and turned him on like no other. Jake had girlfriends at school and would make out with them on walks home, occasionally getting to third base, but nothing ever felt like it did with June.
Eventually, Mike Daniels even seemed to put up with June’s presence. Occasionally, he would put Jake down in front of June, but mostly he tolerated her and couldn't be mad when he found her cleaning fish or shoveling shit. He hated doing those things and having another hand to do it wasn’t something that even Mike Daniels would argue.
The summer was coming to an end and every moment that Jake and June spent together was a moment they cherished with big dreams of Jake running away to Ohio and finishing school to be near June. Promises that they would somehow figure out a way to be together were made with late night goodbye kisses. It was the same for both of them. They were hopelessly in love, so much so that the Withers started to worry that it was turning into too much of a grown-up relationship for June. As much as they liked Jake, they didn't want their daughter’s heart to be broken when it was time to go home; after all, she was only fifteen. That’s why when Mr. Withers got a call asking him to come home early and take over an assistant coach position for the middle school's football team, he quickly agreed.
June was already out for the morning running around with Jake by the time Mr. Withers took the call. They figured they would give her this last day and get the house packed up, knowing she wouldn’t take it well, but hoping they were doing the best thing.
June and Jake met early in the morning, it was the first time they moved beyond kissing
and into more. Jake couldn't believe when June asked to touch him. It was something he fantasized about at night.
“Can I touch you?” June asked wanting to know this part of Jake. The outside air was warm and the trees surrounding the clearing made the two feel completely alone and untouchable.
By the end, June gave Jake an orgasm, which wasn't hard since the feel of her hands on him made it hard for him to last even a few minutes. It didn’t matter that June didn't have an orgasm. The moment was perfect for her and everything she could’ve hoped for her first sexual experience to be like.
Jake finished washing up when he heard his dad yell for him. “Jake! Where the hell are you? We should’ve been out on the water by now!” Shit Jake thought, the old man didn't sound good today. He wondered if he even slept. When Jake left early this morning his old man hadn’t come home yet which could mean so many things.
Jake looked over to June who was decent and breathed a sigh of relief as his dad walked through the clearing. If his dad was just minutes earlier he would have seen June. The thought sickened Jake.
Before he knew it, they were on the boat fishing with Jake’s Dad. The last thing Jake wanted was to have June spend any time with him, however, June was fearless. And he knew where ever he went she would follow. That was until his Dad sent Jake into the river to retrieve a fishing rig. The water was rough and even though Jake was a strong swimmer, he struggled against the current. A scream from June had Jake rushing to get back to the boat. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Jake reached the boat just as his dad’s belt buckle was being undone.
He was consumed with rage as he lunged for his dad. Hate from deep within Jake pumped adrenaline through him as he slammed his fist into his dad’s ribs.
June landed on the ground when Mike Daniels released her head in order to fight his son. Mike never thought his son had it in him and was pleased that he might get a little bit of a fight from him. It would make kicking his ass all the more fun.
Jake fought hard, but was no match for his dad. The moment Mike got his bearings, he went wild on Jake hitting him with all his force. Mike had always a big man, the drinking didn’t make him fat like it did some men. Right then, his six foot three frame was towering over Jake, slamming his head against the deck of the boat. Jake could faintly hear June screaming, but one of the blows to his head created a ringing that was drowning out all other sounds. Normally, he would have passed out by now, but he had to stay conscious for June.
June couldn’t take it any longer. It was killing her watching every blow that Jake took. She had to do something to stop the beating that he was taking. She looked all around the boat for anything should could use to get Mike to stop hurting Jake. An oar attached to the side of the boat caught her eye, and without much thought, she grabbed it and swung it at Mr. Daniels’ head.
Blood splattered and she knew it cut his head, but he was still conscious. His fists stopped connecting with Jake and he was momentarily stunned that the tiny girl had hit him. June didn’t wait as she leaned into the oar like it was a baseball bat and she struck again. Mike stood and approached when her second blow hit. The combination of the alcohol, the boat swaying in the storm and the last hit to his head was all it took to send Mike overboard. She watched for a second, stunned that she was capable of something like that and stared silently, with tears staining her cheeks as the rough river seemed to swallow him. What had she just done? She meant to save Jake, not kill his dad, but as he disappeared into the river, she knew that is exactly what she had done.
Jake brought the boat in and tied it to the dock. The two were eerily silent on the walk back to June's place. Jake hated that she was leaving, but even more than that he hated what she witnessed. A part of him broke when he watched his father grab her and then even more of him broke as he said goodbye. He vowed to be with her again. He wouldn't let anything get in his way.
Jake returned home, a place he wasn't even sure if he belonged anymore with determination to be with June again. Jake’s hope diminished when he smelled the cigarette smoke on his porch and then he saw the man standing in the shadows. “Who’s there?” he called out thinking that it was probably his old man, he wouldn’t believe he was gone until he saw a body.
“Who I am isn’t as important as why I’m here.” A man almost twice the size of Jake, wearing a black cotton t-shirt, black dress pants and black shoes, stepped out of the shadows. A dragon tattoo snaked up his neck and danced around a scar that went over his face across his eye and disappeared into his dark hairline.
“Why are you here?” Jake asked trying to be brave even though he was spent from his emotional day.
The man smiled sinisterly, “I’m here to collect a debt. Your father owed me a sizable one and seeing as I watched you and your girlfriend knock him overboard, that debt falls on you.”
“But it was an accident,” Jake pleaded with the man.
“An accident, huh? That’s why you can swim after a rig, but not after your old man? Way I saw it was you let the water take him. You didn't have the balls to kill him yourself, though. You let that sweet little girlfriend of yours do the work.”
“Leave June out of it!” Jake squared his shoulders and tried to look bigger than he was.
The man laughed, “I could use her as repayment. Take care of her parents in their sleep before they go and make it look like it was you. I bet she can repay the debt real nice.”
Jake felt sick. He did this. He knew he was no good for June and now all of darkness was threatening to hurt her. “What do you want?” Jake asked feeling defeated. In the last several hours, he was beaten, watched the girl he loved being attacked by his Dad, watched the current take his Dad and then had to say goodbye to June. He felt like he was shattering. Everything that mattered was suddenly gone and now this man was going to harm June, his June.
“What do you want?” he asked again clearing his head from his thoughts and willing to do anything.
“Simple. You’re going to work for me. When I tell you to do something, you do it. No questions asked. If you don’t, I’ll turn you and your pretty little girlfriend in for murder, or worse I’ll make good on my threat for June. And don't worry, I have the police in my pocket around here so if they need any convincing it was the two of you, I’ll be sure to get them all the evidence they need.” Jake could see it in the evil glint in the man’s eyes that he was serious fueling Jake's feeling of hopelessness.
“Just leave her alone. I’ll do anything, if you just leave June out of this.” He would do anything to keep June safe. He knew the moment he saw June that she would be the only thing to shine in his gray world and he would be damned if he let this incident color her world dark. He would sign on with the devil himself if it meant protecting her. That, certainly was what this felt like.
The man smiled and threw his cigarette down on the ground stomping it out, “I’ll be in touch, Jake.”
Jake sat on the porch stairs staring after the man for hours thinking how the old adage went, better the devil you know, and that he would do anything the man made him do, to keep June safe. He wouldn't risk her. She was the best thing to ever happen to him.
Chapter Seven
Present
They say there are moments in life when time freezes. Moments when your reality is suspended because the event itself holds so much power that it freezes time. Maybe actual time doesn't stop and it’s your heart that stops? Right now, at this moment, my heart has stopped. The air has left my body and I’m suspended, stuck in this moment. It’s too much. One second was everything I wanted and the next took it all away.
My stomach roiled as the police officers began their search. I wanted to fall to my knees and scream, but I promised Jake I wouldn’t. “Ma’am. I’d like your name and contact information in case we have any questions for you,” an officer who didn't look much older than myself asked. On auto pilot, I give him my information.
“We need you to vacate the premises. We’ll contact you if we
need to.”
Just like that I’m being dismissed. “Wait, I’m so confused. I want to talk to him. How long until he’s able to have visitors?”
“It will at least be forty-eight hours. A piece of advice for you. This guy is bad news. If you’re smart, you’ll stay as far away from Jake Daniels as possible.”
I leave Jake’s apartment and walk home since he picked me up. It’s like I jinxed us yesterday because it’s freezing outside. The cold helps keep me from completely spiraling. I make it home even though I feel completely lost and I probably shouldn't even be walking home considering it’s the middle of the night. I should’ve called a cab and by the time I walk into my apartment, the sun is starting to rise.
When I walk into my room I have a mission. I open my drawer and I take out the picture that Jake took of me. I clutch it in my hands and hold it against my heart. After all this time, the only man I have ever loved was in my grasp and now he is gone. I’m left with so many questions. Why are they arresting him for his father’s disappearance? Why did he tell me his name was Lucas and not tell me the truth? I would’ve run with him if that’s what he needed. I would’ve done anything for him. I promised him I wouldn’t tell the police, but why? None of it makes sense. I feel sick about it. I had him. I wanted it so badly to be him and I had him all along. I love the boy I fell in love with and I just fell in love with the man he became, even if I didn’t know for sure, I knew. Deep down, I knew. I was just so confused by his lie, I couldn’t see it.
I close my eyes and weep silently, the guilt for what I did to his dad feels raw and fresh again. It took me a long time to get past it. I became reckless and wild. I hated myself for killing someone and felt so low about myself that I gave up my virginity to the wrong kind of man as soon as an opportunity presented itself. Even now, I haven’t been in a serious relationship. This is all my fault. If I had told my parents the truth then and not let them take me away maybe none of this would be happening, but Jake promised he’d find me one day and that it would all be okay. Nothing about him being arrested seven years later is okay. I hate how I feel. I’m so stinking sad. It’s like the world was given to me for the briefest of seconds and then that same current that took Mr. Daniels away came in and stole Jake from me all over again.
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