Falling Into the Black

by Lauren Runow

  I place my hand on her, steadying her movements. “Nothing’s different here. It’s still me.”

  Our eyes meet, and I see the slight smile I was hoping for. She nods then opens the door after I put the car in park.

  I reach for her hand and love that she holds mine like she wants to, not like she feels she has to.

  We sit, order our drinks, and I lean back in my chair, smiling at the way her face is lit up by the light shining around her like she’s the angel I’ve dreamed of.

  “Tell me about your week?” I ask, hoping to start a normal conversation to prove this is still us and nothing has changed.

  She shrugs. “Pretty uneventful. How about you?”

  “I’m working on a crazy case right now that’s nowhere near as fun as my last one where I got to spend all day getting to know this amazing woman.”

  She rolls her eyes and laughs at my comment. “Sorry, not all of your co-workers can be so amazing.”

  “Ain’t that the truth? Now I’m working with Karl, and he smells nowhere near as good as you.”

  She smirks and picks up her menu, obviously done with that part of our conversation.

  The rest of our night pretty much goes the same way. Something’s different. She’s different.

  The easiness of our relationship before just flowed, and now I feel like I’m pulling teeth to get the girl I knew back. She’s being friendly, and our conversation is there but not like it was.

  I appreciate that she’s trying, and I can tell she is, but God I want her to try harder.

  What else can I do to show her I’m the one, not him?

  A fear I’ve never felt starts to take me over when thoughts of her going back to him enter my mind.

  If we’re having trouble connecting the same way as before in conversation, then I need an opportunity to show her how we were sexually. The last time I was with her, in my bed, it was magical.

  That’s what we need again. Then she’ll see that what we were starting was something special.

  The rain has lightly started to come down, so we run to the car after dinner and head back to her place. I definitely haven’t gotten the vibe that the date is coming to an end, and I pray she gives me a shot to prove to her once more who we are when we’re together.

  I park and turn her way, waiting, praying, for an invite inside. When she smiles, my heart melts, and I know I’m in.

  “Would you like to come inside?” she asks, tilting her head slightly toward her place.

  “You know I would. Wait, stay there.” I wink and open the door to my car.

  It’s pouring rain, so I grab my jacket and go to her side, holding it over us as we run to her place.

  What I didn’t expect was to see a man, a man I know all too well, sitting on the doorstep of her place, soaking wet.

  He glares in our direction and instantly Evangeline steps out of my makeshift umbrella, standing in the rain rather than be seen next to me. She looks at Carter, then back at me, and that’s it.

  That look right there said it all. She was more worried about Carter’s reaction than mine. Her mind might not know what she wants, but her instincts just decided for her, and it’s not me.

  Instead of backing away like I should, knowing I’m not the one, anger builds inside me at him. This is all his fault. I was almost there. She was letting me in. If I had been able to show her what we were, she would have been mine forever.

  Carter must feel the same rage I do because within seconds of us arriving, he’s up on his feet, coming right for me.

  “Cole, you need to back the fuck off,” he bites out while pushing me back.

  Carter’s bigger than me and his sudden assault caught me off guard. I’ve known the guy for a few years now, and I’ve never seen him show the smallest bit of anger toward anyone, well, anyone but her.

  I smile at the thought. “Nope, sorry.” I don’t push him back but stand eye-to-eye with him. “She already told you ten years ago when she left you and gave up your child without even a mention of his existence to you. Remember?”

  I stare into his eyes, daring him to take it further, so I’m not the first one to swing on someone who used to be my best friend.

  “What the fuck did you just say?” He steps up closer, pushing me with his chest.

  “You guys, stop,” Evangeline yells, but both of us only see or hear rage.

  “You heard me. I was there for every pathetic moment. You had your chance, now back off, she’s mine.”

  The rain running down my glasses blocks my vision, and the slamming of his fist against my jaw takes me by surprise. I fall back but jump up quickly and run toward him, cutting down low to try to bring him to the ground.

  He loses his balance, and we both tumble to the ground. I get in one hit to his stomach, but within seconds, he’s got me in a headlock, and I reach up, tearing at his shirt, desperately trying for any leverage.

  The rain has us sliding around, making it hard for me to get my footing, and it’s not until I feel Evangeline kicking both of us, demanding for us to stop that I realize what exactly just went down.

  Carter lets go, and we both push back on the ground, breathing hard and glaring at each other.

  “Have you two lost your minds?” Evangeline yells.

  I watch as Carter snaps out of his anger fueled rage and goes to stand up, but she stops him. “Don’t you dare,” she demands. “I can’t believe you two. You can’t fight for me like I’m a prize to be won.”

  She turns to walk into her place, and I watch as Carter sits on his knees, slamming his hands to the ground and yelling out in frustration.

  He knows he fucked up with her this time and a sense of satisfaction runs through me. If I’m not the one she wants, I’m happy knowing now maybe he won’t have a chance with her either.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Evangeline

  My phone dings with a text message from Carter.

  Please talk to me.

  Why, Carter? I told you, we can’t just pick up where we left off. There’s just too much history between us.

  Do you remember the time we spent down at the lake when I got my acceptance letter?

  I sigh, dropping my head back against my couch. How could I forget? Our whole relationship started with that one night.

  Of course I do.

  That’s why. I loved you even before that night. And when you found out I was leaving you were scared. I saw it in your eyes. I see that same fear every time I see you now.

  I close my eyes, fighting the burn of the tears that want to come alive.

  It’s been ten years, yet nothing has changed.

  Yes, it has. Everything has changed.

  No, Evangeline. Nothing has. You knew it when I kissed you. Please don’t fight it anymore. Please don’t punish me for going away.

  I’m not punishing you.

  I promised you I’d come back for you, and we’d stand at the starting line together. I’ve kept my promise.

  He sends me a picture that nearly rips me in two. I had joked around our last night before he left saying once we were able to get back together we should add to our tattoos. At that point, we could turn our starting line into an infinity sign with the line running through it, to prove our line is as thick as steel and nothing could ever break it.

  He got the tattoo.

  I sit in silence, staring at the picture. I can’t believe he remembered.

  Can I please come over? I’ll make you an early dinner.

  Okay.

  Is all I responded after a few minutes. I couldn’t think of what else to say. Biting my inner lip, I stare out the window of my place. Maybe it’s time to finally open that side of me again.

  Cole

  After spending all day Sunday sulking by myself, I finally got shit-faced drunk until I passed out on my couch.

  She hasn’t answered any of my calls, and today is a holiday, so our class is canceled. Saturday night was bad, but I thought I’d give it one more shot to se
e if I have any chance of winning her affection.

  I’m sure her work is closed too, so I took a chance and headed to her place, hoping I could surprise her and take her out for dinner. What I didn’t plan on was Carter beating me to the punchline.

  I didn’t see his car, but after knocking on her door, she answered only for me to see Carter standing right there in her kitchen. I look around the room and by the empty plates on her table and the sink full of dishes I can tell he’s been here awhile.

  “Hey,” I say to her.

  “Hi,” she responds, glancing back at Carter before me.

  I hate to see the two sets of eyes both searching mine for an answer. Carter sets the towel down he was holding, and Evangeline takes a deep breath in, gripping the door like she’s waiting to slam it shut if things arise.

  And yes, she would slam it shut on me in a heartbeat. I can see it in her eyes.

  They want to know why I’m here and I stand, helpless, doing nothing but wracking my brain for what to say.

  Time ticks by and finally Carter breaks the silence, “Listen, Cole—”

  I hold up my hand, stopping him mid-sentence.

  Evangeline slips in between the two of us, protecting who, though, I don’t know.

  “Not here, you guys. We’re not doing this again,” she says, with her back to me. “Cole.” She turns, placing her hand on my chest and with the slightest of ease, pushes me back, away from her door.

  “Wait,” I demand, standing my ground.

  Carter glares at me while Evangeline takes a gasp of breath in, shaking her head almost in disbelief. Her eyes tell no lie. She wants him, and he’s officially won her back.

  The realization finally hits me. I don’t have any place here. For years I’ve listened to Carter whine about how much he needed this girl in his life. I, of all people, shouldn’t be the one trying to prevent them from finally being together.

  It’s time. There’s nothing more I can do but throw in the towel. He’s won, and now I must be the man I wish to be and respectfully bow out while I can still hold my head high.

  “Can we talk? Both of you?” I ask, looking at Carter.

  After glancing at each other, they both shrug but keep silent.

  “God, this sucks,” I say, rubbing the back of my neck before taking a deep breath. Being the bigger man is much harder than I ever thought it would be. I sigh, shaking my head before looking back up. “Fuck it. I’ve been thinking a lot, and I know what the right thing to do here is.”

  Evangeline and Carter both look at each other again in question.

  “Evangeline,” I say, staring directly into her eyes and reaching out to hold her fingers, trying to show her I’m tip-toeing around here and not trying to overtake the situation. Thankfully she understands my gesture and allows me to hold her this way.

  “You’re something special, you know that?”

  She nervously bites her inner lip but doesn’t pull her hand away.

  “I should have known it was you after all I’ve heard these past years because I fell for you just the way this schmuck did.”

  I hear Carter huff, but I try to continue, having to clear the pain from my throat I felt sneak its way up when I admit I fell for her.

  “I can’t compete here. You two have more history and unfinished business than I’ll ever be able to stand up to. So even though my heart breaks to do this”—I pause, clearing my throat again and looking away for a brief moment—“it will break more when you give me a chance only to realize later that he’s the one you’re meant to be with.”

  “Cole.” Evangeline squeezes my hand, holding on to more than just my fingers.

  “I won’t be the one to come between love. What you guys have is something people dream about and to find each other again, the way you did…” I shake my head in disbelief. “That’s fate and who am I to come between fate. So, Carter, you better be the man she deserves and don’t fuck it up this time.”

  He smirks as he looks over at Evangeline. “You know I won’t.”

  “Yes, unfortunately, I do.” I turn my attention back to her. “Honestly, I should hate you for all you put him through and how I had to listen to him bitch for so many years,” I taunt, trying to break the pain in my heart with humor. “But seriously, I wish you both the best.”

  With that, I lean over to Evangeline, kiss her on her cheek, and Carter comes closer as he reaches out to shake my hand. He mouths thank you to me, and I nod before walking away.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Evangeline

  I close the door behind Cole and look at Carter in question. He’s been here for about an hour, and things have been good. Friendly, comfortable even. We haven’t talked about anything pertaining to us, but after that speech, I know our time has come.

  Slowly he walks toward me, entangling my hands in his.

  “So you’d bitch about me?” I ask with a small smile shining through.

  He tilts his head to the side. “Not all the time,” he teases.

  “But you really looked for me? For all those years?”

  “I never stopped looking. I knew I’d find you one day.”

  “So now that you found me, what do you plan to do?”

  “Never let you out of my sight again.” He leans in, holding me tightly and kissing my lips like he should have been every day for the last ten years.

  My hands reach up, wrapping around his neck, and I pull him down closer to me, not letting him back away this time. I want this. I want him.

  He gets my drift, and in one swift movement, he picks me up and walks me over to my bed. I make him laugh when he tries to put me down, but my grip is so tight he can’t position us correctly without falling on his hands.

  I don’t care, though. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do until I saw Cole standing at my door. My first thought was no, please don’t make Carter think we’re still together, and suddenly, it was clear as day. Any question I had was completely erased from my mind and only being with him filled every thought.

  Now I want to feel him, knowing for the first time that it’s truly him, on every millimeter covering my entire body.

  He takes my hands, releasing my grip from his neck and holding them above my head when he whispers, “You don’t need to hold me down this time. I wouldn’t leave even if you tried to kick me out. You’re stuck with me. I hope you know that.” His lips brush mine before moving on to my neck.

  Dropping my head back, I push my chest out to him, knowing he’ll do exactly what I want to my breasts and nothing that I don’t.

  I feel his fingers unbuttoning my blouse, and the cool breeze that washes over me is brief until his warmth wraps around me, holding my body tight while he worships his way down my chest, onto my stomach and back up.

  After removing my shirt and bra, he sits back on his heels, taking off his own shirt, and for the first time I truly get to admire the man he’s become. I lift up, wanting to run my fingers over his body, but he stops me short and grabs my wrist. Pushing the bracelet I’m wearing down and matching our tattoos together.

  “Here we are, at the starting line. It’s not a race, but rather a marathon, and I’m going to love you till the very end. I promise you that,” he says before he kisses my wrist, wrapping it around his neck and bringing my bare breasts to his.

  My heart pounds out of my chest as I’m overtaken by a wave of emotions I can barely handle. He encloses me in his arms, holding me tightly until I can take a deep, calming breath. Slowly, he lowers me back down. I close my eyes, still trying to calm my breath when his hands start to unbutton my pants and slip them down my legs.

  Surprise makes me squeal when his warm tongue licks me before I feel him anywhere else. I open my eyes and lift my body up to my elbows, only to see the sexiest smirk I’ve ever seen, looking that much better in between my legs.

  I can’t help the laugh that comes out of my mouth before his hands push me back down, spreading my legs wide, giving him full access.


  The way his tongue works my clit while his fingers curl inside me makes my body start to quiver with a building need to search for its release. My hands wrap around his head, pulling him in closer as I unapologetically start to ride his face.

  A deep desire I’ve never felt overwhelms me, causing me to barely catch my breath, but to my dismay, Carter stops, flipping me to my side before he removes his own pants.

  “No,” I whine out, feeling like I’m going to die if I don’t explode first.

  He laughs before lying down behind me, pulling his naked body flush with mine. His cock pushes between my legs, rubbing my clit but not coming anywhere near my entrance, rather rubbing right over it.

  Pushing himself against me and away makes me slam the bed next to me, dying that much more to have him inside me.

  “Carter,” I yell.

  Still on my side, his large hand grips the side of my ass cheek, and he lifts it, just enough to cause my entrance to open slightly before closing it again. I’ve never been so aware of that exact spot on my body and how extremely empty it is right now.

  Two, three, four times he pulls my ass cheek up and then pushes it back down while alternately rubbing his cock in between my legs. He’s so close, and I’ve never wanted someone to fuck me this badly, and knowing it’s Carter makes my heart feel like it’s going to burst right here.

  “Please,” I beg.

  His lips come close to me from behind, and his warm breath tickles me, sending chills down my spine. Kissing the spot right behind my ear, I hear him whisper, “What, Evangeline? What do you want?”

  “I want you. Please,” I barely get out as he lifts my ass one more time.

  “You promise?”

  My brain isn’t functioning. I can’t think straight, and my head drops back to his in frustration.

  “Please, Carter, please fuck me now.”