The Bastard’s Pearl

by Connie Bailey

  Chapter 16

  SHEYN PACED a circuit around the room as he tried to sort out his thoughts and feelings about his conversation with Kashyan. It appeared that he could manipulate Kashyan to some extent, but the barbarian’s attitude was so maddening. Kashyan treated him like a bright child who had little understanding of the adult world. And then there was the distressing fondness for Kashyan that grew stronger every day no matter how hard Sheyn fought it. It was even more upsetting than the undeniable physical attraction.

  “Are you well?” Luks asked as he entered.

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” Sheyn snapped.

  “Softly,” Luks said. “Here, I brought you some sweets.”

  Sheyn eyed the bowl of honeyed fruit. “Thank you,” he said at last.

  Luks sat, and Sheyn came to sit beside him. When Luks offered him a piece of fruit, Sheyn took it, chewed, and swallowed.

  “Very good,” he said. “What kind of fruit is it?”

  “They’re called sun apples, but they aren’t really apples. Prince Kholya has a taste for them.”

  “You’re getting along well, then?”

  “Better than I could have hoped. He’s a good man and an honorable one.”

  “What about…?”

  “The sex?”

  A tint of rose warmed Sheyn’s pale skin. “I don’t mean to be vulgar, but I’m curious.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “What does he expect of you… in bed?”

  “Like most men, he enjoys any attention given to his jaavi, but he’s very generous with his caresses as well.”

  “And you like that?”

  “Of course. Don’t you?”

  Sheyn took another piece of fruit and put it in his mouth.

  Luks studied Sheyn’s face for several moments. “Have you never bedded anyone?”

  Sheyn almost lied, but what would be the point? “Never.”

  “I’m sorry. It never occurred to me that you were… green. Though it does explain many things about your behavior.”

  “Does it really?”

  Luks reacted to the chilly tone of Sheyn’s voice. “I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with you.”

  “Aren’t you?”

  “No.” Luks paused before he spoke again. “I’m your friend, whether you believe it or not. I’d help you, if you’d let me.”

  “How?”

  “If there were any questions—?”

  “No!”

  Luks sighed. “Someday the bond between you and your master will be too strong for him to resist. When that time comes, he will have you or go mad.”

  “You’re wrong if you think he’d force me.”

  “The Savaani princes are not like most Kandaari men when it comes to sex, but your master won’t be able to stop himself from taking you when—”

  “How can you condone this?” Sheyn interrupted. When Luks looked blank, Sheyn spoke again. “What you’re describing is rape.”

  “No!” Luks was horrified. “I’m not saying you should be raped. The bond grows stronger with time. You won’t be able to resist it, either. I see by your smile that you think me a fool, but when the time comes….”

  “What?”

  “You don’t want to listen, so I won’t waste my words.”

  Sheyn made an exasperated noise. “The barbarian is coming back here to take the evening meal with me. If you have any advice, I’d like to hear it.”

  Luks didn’t look convinced, but he obliged. “As I’ve said before, use a gentle tone and smile at him. Wear soft clothing and don’t scold him if he touches you. My best advice is to let him do as he wishes.”

  “What if I don’t care for what he wants to do?”

  “How do you know if you’ve never done it?”

  Sheyn thought about Luks’s words. “I can’t argue with your logic, but still, aren’t there foods you know you won’t like just by looking at them?”

  “Your trouble is you only want to do what you want to do. Sometimes, we have to do things we don’t want to do.”

  “Within reason,” Sheyn said. “I didn’t want to study anatomy, but I had to when I took a course in sculpting. But it did me no harm. Submitting to a savage is a different matter.”

  “Is it that you don’t like men in that way?”

  Sheyn laughed, making Luks give him an odd look. “No, it’s not that. I’m attracted to men, but Kashyan—” He paused. “He’s a savage.”

  “So this isn’t a matter of taste. You fear bedding him.”

  “Yes. I fear it. Are you content now?”

  Luks smiled. “Your fear is normal. Don’t let it hold you back, and when your master touches you, you’ll catch fire just as you should.”

  “I’ve asked before, but tell me again. Do you truly enjoy it?”

  “What?” Luks asked coyly.

  “You know very well what I mean. When the commander takes his pleasure of you, do you enjoy it as well?”

  Luks nodded. “As I told you, Prince Kholya sees to my pleasure as well as his. We may hope that Prince Kashyan is the same. If not, there are things I can teach you to gently guide him in that direction. But I think, once he sees you unclothed and willing, he’ll want to please you.”

  Sheyn changed the subject. “I’m hungry.”

  Luks smiled again as he got to his feet. “It will be time for the evening meal soon. I’m going to eat with the commander. Why don’t you come with me, and we’ll find you a new tunic?”

  SHEYN OPENED another trunk and looked inside. “Does Kholya travel with all of these?”

  “No, these were stored here,” Luks said. “Look at this.” He held up a diaphanous gown in a color somewhere between orange and red. “This would look well on you.”

  “The cloth is very… thin.”

  “It’s warm enough in our room now that you don’t need heavy clothing.”

  “I can see through it.”

  “Are you ashamed of your body?”

  “No, but that isn’t my style.” Sheyn held a black tunic to his chest. “I like this.”

  Luks gave the knee-length garment a critical look. “The silver embroidery is very fine,” he said. “It’s not what I would choose, but it suits you.”

  Sheyn rummaged in the trunk again and came up with a pair of black leggings. “Finally!”

  “Those aren’t proper for a daaksi,” Luks said, knowing his words were wasted.

  “I don’t care. I don’t like my reyl and gaerys waving about in the breeze, and I can’t wear that swaddle you manage so easily.”

  Luks didn’t argue. He helped Sheyn into the tunic, which had dozens of tiny, knotted silk buttons. Sheyn pulled on the snug leggings and a pair of soft suede boots.

  “Whose clothes were these?” Sheyn wondered aloud. “They’re too small for Kholya, unless he wore them as a lad.”

  “They’re fine enough for a prince,” Luks said. He glanced at the filmy gown he’d suggested. “But not exactly suitable. If I were guessing, I’d wager they belonged to a daaksi.”

  “That’s interesting,” Sheyn said as the door opened and Kholya entered. He saw the tender expression on the commander’s face when Kholya caught sight of Luks, and then Kashyan came in, and Sheyn’s thoughts shattered. It took all his willpower to keep from running across the room to Kashyan’s side.

  “Will you stay and eat?” Kholya asked Kashyan.

  Kashyan shook his head. “I have other plans,” he said with his gaze on Sheyn.

  Kholya grinned as he put an arm around Luks’s lithe waist. “Then I’ll see you at muster.”

  “Come,” Kashyan said, gesturing to Sheyn.

  Sheyn bit back a smoking retort and went to Kashyan. It was almost worth it to see the look of utter surprise on Kashyan’s face. “Yes, my lord?” he said softly.

  “I—I’ve arranged for food to be sent to your quarters,” Kashyan said.

  “Then we should go there,” Sheyn replied.

  “Yes, go now,” Kholya sa
id, “while this mood lasts.”

  Kashyan and Sheyn left Kholya’s quarters and walked the hall in silence for several minutes before Sheyn spoke.

  “I wonder if we could go somewhere before we eat.”

  Kashyan frowned. “Where?”

  Sheyn cleared his throat. “I’d like to pay my respects to Lieutenant Djenya, if that’s possible.”

  Kashyan broke the long silence that followed Sheyn’s request. “All right.”

  KASHYAN LED Sheyn to the fortress bailey between the outer and inner walls. Here the paving stones gave way to packed dirt, except for one area where the earth was disturbed. At one end of a mound of dirt and rock, a sword stood upright, its point thrust into the ground. Sheyn recognized the blade and knew this was Djenya’s grave. Kashyan hung back as Sheyn went to rest a hand on the curved hilt while he gazed on the barrow.

  Sheyn remembered the kindness Djenya had shown him. He remembered how Djenya had protected him. And he remembered his disdain for a man he’d called savage, as well as the time he’d broken Djenya’s nose. He was unaware that tears were streaming down his face until a drop fell on the back of his hand. A terrible rending pain in his chest put him on his knees, and he knelt at the graveside weeping like a child.

  Kashyan’s heart lurched at the sight of the chilly, wasp-tempered daaksi mourning for Djenya. Feelings he had shoved aside since childhood assailed him and drew him to kneel beside Sheyn. When Sheyn looked up with tear-blind eyes, Kashyan pulled him into his arms.

  For the first time Sheyn could remember, he didn’t feel suffocated by an embrace. He felt warm and consoled cradled in Kashyan’s strong arms. Fresh tears flowed down his cheeks as his last vestige of control melted and he sagged against Kashyan’s chest.

  Tentatively, Kashyan stroked Sheyn’s hair. He wasn’t rebuffed, so he continued the soothing gesture until Sheyn stopped shaking and leaned against him, exhausted. Kashyan rested his cheek on the top of Sheyn’s head and breathed in the daaksi’s alluring scent.

  “I don’t want to be here anymore,” Sheyn said in a voice with all its bones broken.

  “I’m sorry,” Kashyan murmured.

  “I don’t want anyone else to die because of me.”

  Kashyan held Sheyn tighter and kissed the part in his hair. “Spare yourself this guilt,” he said. “Djenya would have attacked the demon whether you were there or not.”

  “I want to go home,” Sheyn whispered, his words muffled by Kashyan’s tunic.

  Kashyan rose to his feet, drawing Sheyn with him. “Come. I’ll take you to your quarters.”

  Sheyn didn’t resist but let Kashyan lead him by the hand through the halls of the fortress. When they reached the room Sheyn shared with Luks, Kashyan led him to a seat and urged him to sit. Sheyn sank down onto the soft cushion, and Kashyan hesitated a few moments before he spoke.

  “Would you—?” Kashyan cleared his throat. “Do you want to be alone?”

  Sheyn looked up, and his gaze sharpened as he focused on Kashyan. “No.”

  “Tell me what you want.”

  “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be, is it?” Sheyn gave Kashyan a faint smile. “I’m almost certain, as Velvet explained it, that I’m supposed to ask what you want.”

  Kashyan made an exasperated noise. “Speak plainly, if you can.”

  “I’m sorry,” Sheyn said contritely. “I’m not used to feeling badly when something happens to someone else, and I was trying to make us both feel better with a jest.”

  “I’m sorry too. I took much worse teasing from Djenya, but you….” Kashyan shook his head. “Your teasing gets under my skin.”

  “Are you accusing me of being a tease?”

  “Only because you are one.”

  “Amazing. For a few moments, you forgot to be a barbarian.”

  “I’m a barbarian because I tell you the truth?”

  “You’re right. I shouldn’t call you a barbarian when what you really are is primitive.”

  “If I’m primitive, what are you?”

  “Civilized, educated, and well-bred.”

  “And what use are those things to you now?”

  Sheyn took a breath before he replied. “Not much, I suppose.”

  “I don’t know what life is like where you’re from, but I think it must be very different from Kandaar.”

  “The people of Dey Larone revere learning above all, and our nation has been at peace for over a hundred years.”

  “So it’s hard for you here.”

  “Hard? Have I not mentioned that I was abducted, not once, but twice? I was made a slave, and I was tortured by a madman.” Sheyn paused. “And there are demons.”

  “I want to alter our bargain.”

  Startled by Kashyan’s change of tack, Sheyn remained silent as Kashyan spoke again.

  “I have a heart,” Kashyan said. “And it’s as soft as you guessed. It isn’t in me to hurt anyone smaller or weaker.”

  “Everyone is smaller and weaker than you.”

  “Well, some of them attack me with weapons… and there are demons.”

  Sheyn tried to hold on to his outrage, but like his sorrow, it had faded in the glow of Kashyan’s presence. “So there are,” he said. “I suppose you could be forgiven for killing them.” He paused. “Would it be insensitive of me to suggest we eat?”

  “If you’re hungry, you should eat.”

  Kashyan and Sheyn moved to sit on either side of the low table, and Sheyn removed the cloth that covered their dinner. For several moments, they were silent as they ate the roasted venison and yellowroot. As Kashyan set down his empty ale mug, Sheyn spoke.

  “Aside from your table manners and your habit of killing things with your sword, you’re not all that barbaric, are you? I’ll have to find something else to call you.”

  Kashyan smiled. “As you wish, Pearl.”

  “No, as you wish, Bastard.”

  Kashyan froze at the sound of the mocking name on the daaksi’s lips. After a moment, he relaxed and smiled again. “You can’t help yourself,” he said. “This is why we need to talk about our bargain.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “I’m not sure you can behave like a proper daaksi in public.”

  “That sounds like a challenge.”

  “It is a challenge.” Kashyan leaned forward. “You’re mine now and there’s nothing I can do about it, but I can’t have you making me a laughingstock in front of my men.”

  “I understand.”

  “I will give you the protection of my sword and my name… such as it is.”

  “This doesn’t sound like a different bargain.”

  “There is one more thing I want.”

  “Name it.”

  “You can’t guess?” Kashyan leaned closer. “Don’t you feel the same thing when we’re close like this?”

  Sheyn shivered. Another difficult decision. Did he keep Kashyan at arm’s length, holding out the possibility of sex as a reward, as he’d done with Aeriq? Or should he give the man what he wanted and count on him wanting it more than once? If it came to it, could he submit to Kashyan and retain his sanity? And could he really resist the attraction much longer?

  Kashyan moved around the table and put his hand over Sheyn’s. “I’d like an answer.”

  Another shiver ran the length of Sheyn’s spine, and his body made the decision for him. The warm pressure of Kashyan’s callused hand on his skin made him feel as though his insides were melting. The near-constant tension in his groin was winding tighter with each passing moment. Sheyn didn’t know exactly what he wanted, but he knew he wanted something. No, he needed something, and he needed it now. Raising his head, he met Kashyan’s eyes.

  Kashyan looked into Sheyn’s depthless gaze, and a wave of emotion swept through him that was frightening in its intensity. He stopped trying to hold himself back and gave his instincts free rein. He wrapped his fingers around Sheyn’s slender wrist and pulled him into his arms, crushing him against his chest.

/>   “I… can’t breathe,” Sheyn managed to say.

  Kashyan eased his embrace. “Forgive me.”

  Sheyn’s soft laugh rubbed against Kashyan’s ears like a fur collar. “It still amuses me that you feel the need apologize to someone you consider your property.” He tilted his chin up and widened his eyes. “Are you blushing? Is that even possible?”

  “I feel… very warm.”

  “Luks is always telling me I put too much fuel on the fire, but it’s so cold here in all this stone.”

  “You’ve started a fire inside me,” Kashyan said, his voice dropping half an octave.

  Sheyn’s laugh came out as a giggle. “Is that what passes for courting talk in Kandaar?”

  A crease appeared between Kashyan’s dark brows. “Forgive me again for trying to please you.”

  “I’m sorry,” Sheyn said swiftly. “Please don’t be hurt. I didn’t mean to—”

  Sheyn’s next words were muffled against Kashyan’s lips as Kashyan brought their mouths together in a kiss. At first, Sheyn was so shocked that he didn’t move a muscle, but after a few moments with Kashyan’s warm, surprisingly soft lips pressed to his, he became aware of an amazing feeling. It flowed outward from his core, filling him from crown to soles with a delicious rush of tingling warmth. Each following wave of pleasure was stronger than the last, and he found the anticipation between them almost as exciting as the feeling itself. Seeking more of the exquisite sweetness, he nipped hungrily at Kashyan’s full lower lip.

  Kashyan responded with a swipe of his tongue along the curves of Sheyn’s lips before he drew back. He looked down into Sheyn’s eyes for several moments before he spoke. “I want you.”

  Sheyn took a few breaths and decided he could trust his voice not to shake if he spoke. He wanted Kashyan too. Not for any power it would give him over the barbarian, but because at this moment, he desired Kashyan more than anything he’d ever wanted in his life. He didn’t care if it was Luks’s silly magical bond or if he was finally feeling what Aeriq had called “growing his horns.” He didn’t care why. He wanted more of this bliss.

  “Tell me you want me,” Kashyan said. “Or I’ll feel guilty for what I’m about to do.”