Suspending Reality

by Chrissy Peebles

  Jesse waved me over, and we hurried right up to him. Unfortunately, while I was breathlessly gazing into Jesse’s winter-blue eyes, my dog was not so happy to see him and wouldn’t stop barking.

  “It’s okay, Max,” Jesse said.

  To my surprise, the dog calmed down immediately and sat down next to me, still as a statue except for his wagging tail.

  “Hi, Jesse,” I said, overcome by that feeling in the pit of my stomach, as if I’d swallowed a hornet’s nest. We’d had a few simple conversations on the phone and via text outside of work, but this was our first official date, and I hoped we wouldn’t be encumbered by too many awkward silences and uncomfortable moments.

  “You’re early,” he said, smiling.

  I held on to the leash in my hands. “I sooner be dead than late,” I said.

  He reached for the leash, and I sat on the bench to put my rollerblade equipment on. As I adjusted my red helmet, I smiled. “Okay. I’m ready.”

  He grinned. “Great.”

  With Max’s leash tightly in my grasp, we started to skate down the mountain trail. It wound through a pine forest and meadows. Birds flitted overhead, and lizards sunned themselves on big granite rocks, absorbing the heat and all that Vitamin D. Max absolutely loved it and couldn’t stop smelling every little thing as we strolled by. It was such a nice change to breathe that fresh, clean mountain air after living in the smoggy city. In fact, it was like being in a completely different world.

  “So…on the phone you said you wanted to talk to me about something in person,” Jesse said.

  “Yeah. I just need to get something off my chest. I know I told you I don’t want to talk about that night, but I kinda need to.”

  “What’s on your mind?” he asked.

  “I feel like it was my fault that you got shot,” I said, almost tearing up from the guilt I’d been harboring.

  “Why would you even think that?”

  “If you hadn’t had to drive us home, it would have never happened.”

  “Don’t even say that. You and Julie might have died, because neither one of you was in a position to drive safely.”

  “I can’t believe that Jonathon guy was so high on drugs that he actually shot you. It’s just…crazy. How well do you know him?”

  “He’s, uh…an acquaintance.”

  “Well, I hope he gets his act together before he really hurts or kills somebody.”

  “It’ll be taken care of,” he said, sounding like some godfather in a mobster movie. “In the meantime, thanks for keeping quiet.”

  “I still don’t get why those wolves acted the way they did. Do you think they’re responsible for the attacks on tourists and hikers?”

  “Maybe. A lot of weird things have been happening around here.”

  “Yeah. Well, it’s over and done with, like a bad dream, and I just want to forget about it. I should’ve never let Julie take me to that party in the first place. I’ve definitely learned my lesson.”

  He smiled as if he was glad to hear it.

  “Let’s get off this lame subject about drugged-out crazies and infected wolves.”

  “Right,” he agreed. “I’d love to know more about you,” he said. “Do you like to bike or play any sports? Collect stamps? Dance around to seventies disco music singing into a hairbrush when you’re bored?” he said with a grin, as if imagining it.

  I laughed, envisioning it too. “I’m not really into philately, but I love to sketch designs. I have hundreds of virtual and hand-drawn designs, and I hope to go into fashion someday—maybe with my own clothing line or label.”

  “You’re very creative.”

  “Yeah, I’ve heard that before, but the truth is, ideas can come at anytime. If I’m sitting at a restaurant and one hits me, I’ll sketch it out on a napkin.”

  “I guess it’s best to get your idea down while it’s still fresh in your head.”

  “Lots of fashion schools require a portfolio, so I’ve been trying to get one together.”

  “Isn’t that hard?”

  “Not really. Like I said, I have hundreds of ideas for clothes, accessories, and shoes.”

  “Taylor, I know I haven’t known you that long, but I’m pretty sure you can do anything you put your mind to.”

  “Thanks. When we moved here, I thought I’d have to give up my future career. I mean, when it comes to fashion, Big Bear Lake’s not exactly the center of fashion. Still, I’m learning to adjust and taking inspiration from the gorgeous natural surroundings and the wonderful people I’ve met here.”

  “It must be nice to get away from all those beeping taxis, all the hustle and bustle. It’s so peaceful here. Besides, if you come up with your own label or line, you could just run a business online. We country folk have that there Interwebs too, ya know,” he said, smiling.

  I laughed. “Right. Maybe I’ll start a huge Internet empire, a dot.com—or maybe I’ll just become a painter instead.”

  “You paint too? Wow. Quite the artist, aren’t you?”

  A smile curled up on my lips. “Drawing and painting have been hobbies of mine since I was a little girl. If the fashion thing bombs, I can always turn to one of those. With all the inspiration around here, all these beautiful landscapes and animals, I’m sure I’d have never-ending paintings to sell.”

  “Right. You can stay in Big Bear Lake and become an artist.”

  “I’d love to. I gotta admit, I’m falling in love with this place more and more every day,” I said, though I knew the guy rollerblading next to me had much to do with that. “It sure is beautiful and peaceful out here.”

  “Your dog thinks so too,” he said, nodding toward Max, who looked to be having the time of his life.

  I laughed. “He loves it out here. How long have you lived here?” I asked.

  “I was born here, and there’s no way my mom would ever leave.”

  “And your dad? I mean…if you don’t mind my asking,” I said, realizing it was a touchy subject for some people.

  “He left before I was born,” he said.

  “Oh. I’m sorry.”

  “We’ve all gotten along without him,” he said.

  “Is there someone besides you and your mom?”

  “Yeah. I’ve got a brother and a sister.”

  “Who is the oldest?” I asked.

  “No one really.”

  “Huh?” I asked, confused.”

  He laughed. “We’re triplets, all seventeen. Technically, Sam is the oldest, then Kierra, then me.”

  “What’s it like growing up as one-third of a set of triplets?”

  “We’re pretty close, and my brother and sister are awesome, even if they can be annoying sometimes. Kierra is really bossy at times, and I swear Sam lives to embarrass me.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, siblings can be like that.”

  “Oh? I thought you were an only child.”

  “No. I have two brothers and one sister, but they’re all grown and are out on their own. I’m the baby, the last one to leave the nest.”

  “Another thing we have in common. We’re both the youngest.”

  I laughed. “I guess so!”

  “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to get out there and tackle the world head on. I dream of traveling around the globe. I’ve been stuck here my whole life, and now that I’m almost eighteen, I want to see what lies beyond Big Bear Lake.”

  “Any particular places you want to visit?”

  “So many!”

  “Name one.”

  He started gliding, skating backward so he could face me while he talked. “I want to surf in Teahupoo, Tahiti. There are these unbelievable swells that roll over a shallow coral reef. I’ve read and heard that catching a wave is just like flying. Most people who see waves as tall as Mount Everest would run in the other direction but not me. I’d love to ride them.”

  “I had no idea you’re so adventurous. What are some other things you’d love to do?”

  His eyes lit up, as
if he’d been waiting for someone to ask him that for years. “I also want to heli-ski down the Chugach Range in Alaska.”

  When Max spent too much time sniffing a flower, I gave him a gentle tug. “Helicopter ski?” I asked.

  “Yeah. You ski down this huge mountain, and if you wipe out, you cartwheel. It’s like falling in space, except you reconnect with the snow every fifty feet or so. I also want to paraglide over the Grand Tetons and swim with sharks in Florida, without a cage, of course.”

  “Maybe you could wrestle a gator in the Everglades,” I said.

  “Yeah! I’ll definitely add that to my list. I’d love to drive crazy speeds across frozen lakes in Arjeplog, Sweden and do a ninety-MPH donut!”

  “Wow. Those are some risky goals you’ve got there, but they sound like a blast.”

  “There are some places in California I’d like to check out too, like Laguna Beach, for body-surfing, body-boarding, diving, and tide-pooling.”

  “A thrill-seeker, huh?”

  He grinned. “That I am.”

  I pointed to his tattoo, solid black, with curves that ended in points and interlocked in complex patterns and abstract designs. “Tell me more about that. I noticed it the first day at work, but I was too embarrassed to ask.”

  He lifted his short sleeve. “Oh. Well, this is the symbol of strength, power and bravery.” He pointed to the swirls in his design. “These represent the past, present, and future.”

  I pointed to the ankh in his design. “I recognize this one. I have a cross like it.”

  “Cool. I thought long and hard before I settled on this design. It has a lot of symbolism in it. If I was going to have something on my arm forever, I wanted it to mean something.”

  “So every single line and shape has meaning?”

  “Yes. I wanted something special and unique to me.”

  I traced the lines on his arm. “I love it. When did you get it done?”

  “Last year.”

  “It’s really cool, Jesse.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Tell me, is Big Bear Lake this pretty in the winter?”

  “Believe it or not, it’s even more incredible. The skiing is amazing.”

  “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never skied before.”

  “You will…and I will teach you. You’ll be off the bunny hill in no time.”

  I was taken aback that he was talking as if we might actually have a future as friends or even something more. “Wow. I never thought I’d have such a handsome ski instructor—or any ski instructor, for that matter.”

  We gradually picked up the pace, taking long, smooth strides, then cruised effortlessly down the trail. I enjoyed the thrill and speed, and I was glad Max’s four furry legs enabled him to keep up with my eight wheels. I glanced up briefly and caught sight of an eagle flying majestically overhead, only to be followed by a pelican a few minutes later. The lake was amazing, and it looked like an oil painting with the beautiful mountains for a backdrop. Max barked at the wildlife on the lake, and I couldn’t help but smile when I saw a mama duck with all her little chicks paddling along behind her.

  When we stopped skating for a moment to take in all the panoramic beauty, I turned to meet Jesse’s gaze. His thumb brushed across my skin, sending ripples of excitement through me where he’d touched. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, and in that moment, I truly imagined what it would be like to kiss him, to be held lovingly in those strong arms of his. I could tell by the longing in his sky-blue eyes that he was looking for a sign that I wanted more, and that made the moment all the more thrilling. He cradled my hand ever so gently in his as our eyes locked. I was fixated on his piecing stare; even the sky behind him paled in comparison to the glory of his gaze, and the heat from his hand felt like a thousand suns. I could have sworn my heart almost stopped.

  His gaze sizzled with challenge, as if he was just daring me to go ahead and kiss him. I desperately wanted to, as red-hot flames of arousal burned through me like a raging forest fire. How can I resist such temptation? How could any girl resist him? I thought. But then I tore my gaze away and stared at the water trying desperately to regain my composure. Everything was silent other than the blood gushing through my temples from the excited and hopeful beat of my heart. I wondered what he would do if I got up and pulled him into my loving arms and engaged him in a deep kiss.

  However, it was our first date, and I didn’t want him to think poorly of me in any way. As badly as I wanted to kiss him right then and there, in that place that looked like a postcard, I knew it was better to wait. I wanted to be different than the girls he’d met before, and I wanted him to see that I was.

  * * *

  Over the next week, I hung out with Jesse every chance I got. When we weren’t together, he still lingered in my head. We went for walks, long hikes, kayaking, and even jet-skiing. We chatted on my porch for hours and talked about everything.

  One day, I was painting in our back yard, which was its own little paradise, thanks to Fred’s hard work. The sun was shining high in the sky like a bright yellow beach ball, and the birds were chirping in perfect harmony, with the crickets singing backup. I set up my easel and paints by the pond, where I could see all the ducks and ducklings gliding across the water. I was eager to paint a beautiful natural landscape, and, inspired by the breathtaking view around me, my hand with the paintbrush in it just glided over the paper, pouring all my creative energy into a work of art.

  My mom approached from behind. “It’s stunning, Taylor,” she said.

  I smiled. “Thanks, Mom, but it’s not done yet.”

  “Are you coming inside for lunch?”

  “Sure. Just give me ten more minutes.”

  “I know very well that your ten minutes is an hour to anyone else,” she said, crossing her arms.

  I smiled at the woman who knew me so well. “I know. You’re right. I’ll come now.”

  “I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time, Taylor.”

  “I just love it out here,” I said. “The sky is a deeper shade of blue, the grass is greener, the sun is brighter, the—”

  “And the boys are cuter?” she asked, then winked. A big smile grew across her face.

  It was evident all over again that I couldn’t hide anything from my mother, and I blushed. “Mom! I’m seventeen. I don’t meet boys. I meet guys.”

  “You don’t have to tell me who he is, but I know you’ve met a nice young man—guy, boy, or otherwise. It’s written all over your face as clearly as that paint on your easel.”

  I sighed in defeat. “You’re right. I have met someone, and he has shown me just how beautiful it can be out here. I don’t ever wanna leave.”

  “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. Pulling you out of your old school like that…well, I know it had to be hard to start over in your senior year.”

  I grinned. “I don’t mind.”

  “You’ve really adjusted well, honey, and I’m sure meeting new friends has helped.”

  “Mom, this place is amazing. I love the forest. There’s fresh air to breathe. The birds sing beautiful songs. All this nature…and great people too! Who could ask for more?”

  “Good! I wanted a fresh start for us, and I think we’ve found it. Your father and I love this place just as much as you do.”

  “I’m finally over Sean. He’s nothing but a figment of my imagination.”

  “I think that has to do with a certain boy…er, uh…guy you work with at the zoo.”

  “Mom, Jesse is amazing. He loves animals and wants to be a veterinarian when he graduates. He’s so charming and friendly, not to mention so smart. We just have this fantastic connection. We get lost in each other’s eyes. I’ve never met a guy who has made me feel like that.”

  “So…are you guys going steady?”

  “What?” I shook my head at her. “Gee, Mom, nobody says that anymore.”

  She laughed, embarrassed. “I suppose you’re right, but you know what I mean.”


  “We’re just friends. I’d like there to be more, for him to be my boyfriend though. He looks like a Gap model, Mom! Can you imagine a guy like that on my arm?”

  “I’m sure he’s adorable, dear, but don’t rush into a relationship. For now, just have fun and date.”

  “You’re right, and that’s what I plan to do. We’ll take it slow and become good friends, then maybe move it to the next level and—”

  “Taylor!”

  “Dating, Mom! I mean I want to date him.” I let out a sigh. “I can’t explain it, but I’ve never felt anything like this.”

  “I remember how I felt about your father. My head was spinning from all the red roses and heart-shaped boxes of chocolates he sent me. He was so handsome, and I was just smitten.”

  “Jesse is too handsome. I think he’s out of my league.”

  She shook her head and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “Oh, my darling daughter, don’t you even realize how beautiful you are?”

  I smiled. “You have to say that. You’re my mom.”

  She wrapped her arm around me. “You are a work of art all your own, Taylor—inside and out. I’d say that whether I was your mother or not.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “I’d love to meet his parents.”

  “It’s just him and his mother, his brother, and his sister.”

  She furrowed a brow. “Where do they live?”

  “Bear Lane.”

  My mother’s eyes widened. “Really? Some of the most expensive homes in the area are out there. His mother must be wealthy.”

  “I’ve never asked because I don’t care. Rich or poor, I like Jesse for who the amazing person he is.”

  “Well, that settles it. You’ve been shot with Cupid’s arrow for sure.”

  My face beamed. “Every time he looks at me, I feel this burst of energy.”

  “I remember that feeling. Believe it or not, your father still gives it to me sometimes.”

  “Gross, Mom,” I said, smiling at her. “Anyway, when I talk to Julie about him, I just babble and babble, go on and on, like I’m on a caffeine rush. I just can’t stop thinking about him.”

  “Honey, you’ve got it bad, but remember that these heightened emotions and euphoria will eventually fade.”