Love Crushed

by Toshia Slade

  Josh gives a quick rundown of what transpired while I was dancing. Seems Gabby bumped into an ex-fling of Cam’s, and she left crying. He made Cam stay for a couple of beers to let them both cool off so that when they talked, they wouldn’t say or do something stupid. Cam had left twenty minutes ago to try to smooth things over.

  “I was head—” I’m cut off when Josh’s phone rings. Looking at the screen, he mouths “Cam” then turns for the door, covering his other ear with his hand.

  Following him, I almost slam into his back when he stops, and his body goes rigid. Turning to face me, his face is pale white, as if he’s seen a ghost.

  Panic grips me in a choke hold, and I can’t speak or move. Josh grasps my arm and moves quickly, dragging me through the door. He continues talking to Cam, but I can’t hear what they say. My ears buzz with white noise.

  Did something happen to Gabby? What if she and Cam broke up, and she’s a mess? I need to get to her. She’ll need me.

  We reach Josh’s truck, and he ends the call. His head falls forward in defeat, and I fight to find my voice. Fear grips me, robbing me of speech.

  “Wh— what happened? What’s going on? Is Gabby okay?” I struggle to get it out, my palms sweating as I fear the worst.

  “She’s okay, but she opened the door thinking it was Cam.” He takes a deep breath, and his shoulders tense. His next words come out strained and between gritted teeth. “It was Brandon. The cops showed up and arrested him, and paramedics are now looking Gabby over. She has a knot on her head from the door, a busted lip, and some small cuts on her hands from falling on glass.” He rips his hands through his hair, yanking at the strands, and roars, “I knew I should have killed that bastard.”

  My blood runs cold, and fear like I’ve never known before takes over my body, seizing my lungs and shaking me in violent waves. This is far worse than I thought. I never imagined Brandon would do something like this. Last I heard, he was locked up for selling drugs.

  “Did… Did he ra—”

  “No! Cam stopped him in time.” He rears his fist back and slams it into the side of his truck. “Fuck! If I would have just let Cam go after her when she left instead of making him stay, this shit wouldn’t have happened. God dammit!” His chest heaves with his ragged breaths, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.

  The last thing Gabby or Cam need is Josh blaming himself and getting locked up for doing something stupid.

  “Hey, don’t blame yourself for that. No one could have known Brandon was going to pull something.” I approach him slowly, not sure if he’s going to go off again. I’m not afraid he’ll hurt me, but I’m not sure if he’d want my comfort right now. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I hold my breath, waiting to see if he’ll throw me off. “Gabby’s a fighter. She’ll get through this, and besides, she has all of us.”

  Burying his head in my neck, he takes a deep breath and hugs me back. “I know she will, but I can’t help but take the blame for holding Cam back, and I’ll always have to live with that.”

  My heart pounds, and it’s not just from the fear of everything that’s happening but because I’m tucked in close to Josh. I want to weep at how good it feels to be in his arms, to tell him how much I’ve missed him, but I can’t. It wouldn’t do any good, because I really can’t give him what he wants now. I’ll never give my heart to a man. Ever.

  “Let's go, and maybe once you see her, you’ll see she’s okay and it’ll put you at ease.”

  He shakes his head. “Cam said he just wants to be alone with her tonight. Trust me, I fought him, but I get it. I know as bad as I feel, he’s worse off. That stupid bitch, Sara, started all of this shit. They’re staying locked up in his room at the house tonight.”

  Pissed, I push off Josh and cross my arms over my chest.

  “That’s bullshit. I get where he’s coming from, too, but Gabby is just as important to us, and we deserve to see her and make sure she’s okay for ourselves.”

  *Josh*

  “Calm down, Kitten.” A chuckle slips out before I can stop it, and some of my anger slips away. This is what Tiffany does for me—she makes things not as bad. “Why don’t you come to the house and stay tonight, and you can see her first thing in the morning? Gabby really just needs rest and doesn’t need us getting all emotional and making it harder on her.”

  Her body tenses, and her eyes lose some of the fire they held only moments ago.

  “Uh.” She bites down on her lip and shifts on her feet. “I’ll go stay at Mom’s. I’ll be too tempted to try to see her tonight.”

  “You won’t have to worry about that.” I strut over to her, lust bringing my body to life, thinking of all the ways I can keep her busy. “I’ll keep you occupied, and your mind will be focused on me and what I’m doing to your body.”

  She backs away, holding her hands up as a shield.

  “No, that”—she points her finger in my direction—“is another reason it’s not a good idea. I’ll just catch a cab out to Mom’s.”

  The heat fueling my body just seconds ago is doused. Pain and hurt take over, sending my desire packing.

  “What happened to us?” I keep my voice low and calm, not wanting another heated argument. I’ve got to keep my cool and get to the bottom of this.

  “There never was an ‘us,’ and everything that’s happened has only proven that I was right. We should keep this”—she gestures between us—“as friends, nothing more. I can’t do anything more right now, and I’m not sure I ever will be able to.”

  “You know that’s a lie. What about the month we spent together or the weekend in Tennessee? That wasn’t nothing, Tiffany. It was something, and I want it back. I want you. Only you.” I reach for her, and she steps out of my grasp.

  “Don’t do this to me.” She shakes her head as tears fill her eyes. “Not right now, Josh. I can’t take it. I care about you, and you’ll always be one of my best friends, but that’s all you’ll be. It’s all you can be.”

  The desperate pleading in her voice sucks the air from my lungs. The girl standing in front of me isn’t my Kitten. Something has happened, and it’s completely broken her.

  “What’s going on? Talk to me. Something’s happened. Let me help you.” Maybe if she tells me what it is, I can fix it or even help her.

  “I can’t. I gotta go.” She turns and starts walking to the sidewalk to hail a cab.

  “Wait.” I jog after her. “Let me take you home. You know a cab won’t take you all the way out there. I’m heading in that direction anyway.”

  She hesitates, and before she can turn me down, I try a different tactic. It may sound desperate, but at this point I don’t care. I’m not ready to let her out of my sight. These past three weeks have been hell, and being around her is enough to soothe some of the ache.

  “Please? It’ll make me feel better knowing you made it home safely, and it’s one less thing to worry about.” I hold my hands up in surrender. “And I won’t push you to talk to me, I’ll only drive.”

  Low blow, I know, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

  “Fine.” She huffs out and storms over to the truck. “That was a dirty play, though.”

  I tilt my head down to hide the smile. I would rather she be pissed than broken and sad. “Only doing what I’ve gotta do, babe.”

  “Whatever.”

  I unlock the truck, and she climbs in, slamming the door behind her.

  It’s a quiet ride to her parents’ house, and one more bite to my tongue and I’ll have it bleeding. I wish she would just open the fuck up and talk to me. Doesn’t she know holding shit in will eat you alive? Ah, screw it.

  “Kitten, you know you can come to me for anything, right?” I glance over in time to see her whip her head in my direction.

  “You prom—”

  “I know. I’m not asking you to talk or anything. Just want you to know I’ll always be here for you.” I pull in her driveway and park the truck, noticing her Dad’s truck isn’t
here. “Are your parents out tonight?” After all the evening’s drama, I’m not comfortable with her being alone.

  “No, Mom’s here.” She unbuckles herself and grabs her purse.

  “Where’s your dad?” My forehead wrinkles in confusion. Why would he be out and not her mom? Is she lying to me?

  “Gone.” Her voice cracks, and she’s out of the truck before I can say anything.

  I climb out of the cab right as she’s walking in the door and closing it. What the hell is going on with her?

  Fifteen

  *Tiffany*

  The ringing of my phone pulls me from sleep, and my hand slaps around on the nightstand as I try to find it.

  “’Ello,” I mumble while rolling over and rubbing my eyes.

  “Someone’s being a lazybones today.” Gabby’s teasing is a balm to my nerves.

  I tossed and turned all night, worried about her and how she was going to handle all this. I’m instantly awake and alert, sitting up in bed.

  “Are you okay? I mean, like really okay?” I prop my pillows behind my head and get comfortable.

  “I’m a lot better knowing he’s in jail and facing some serious time. He’s not getting out anytime soon. It’s going to be rough going back to the townhouse, but I think after time, I’ll be okay. Cam helps, too. We decided to stay here for a couple of days until I’m ready to go back. You should come here, too. I don’t want you staying there alone.”

  My heart races, and I panic at the thought of being locked in a house with Josh.

  “I’m glad you’re okay, but I’ll just stay here and spend some time with Mom. I don’t want to sleep on the couch, and I’m not going to run Josh out of his bed either. When I go get some clothes, I’ll clean the place up so you don’t have to see it, and it’ll be ready when you want to go back home.”

  “You don’t have to. Cam’s over there now doing it and grabbing more of our stuff. We were in a rush to leave last night, and I only grabbed sleeping clothes.”

  “Do you want to just let the townhouse go? I’m not sure if you’ll ever feel comfortable there again, and you can just move in with Cam. Mom won’t mind me moving back in. I’ll understand if you want to leave it.”

  “I’ll be okay. Not today but soon. I know he can’t hurt me now. I just need it not to be so fresh, you know?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Tiff?” Her voice is soft with worry.

  “Yeah?” I squeeze my eyes shut, and my fingers fidget with the blanket. Oh God, did Josh tell her everything?

  “You keep saying your mom. What about your dad? I know something was bothering you last night. Honey, what’s really going on? I’m your best friend. Talk to me. I’m worried about you.”

  I can’t help the sob that breaks free as my heart twists in my chest. I can’t hold it in anymore, and I know it’s the last thing she needs right now, but I have to get it off my chest. Mom and I talk, but I try to hide as much of my pain as possible because I don’t want her to hurt even more. Everything just comes pouring out, and I tell Gabby everything.

  “My dad cheated on my mom and asked for a divorce. She’s a mess, and I don’t know what to do. All she does is clean or cry.” I cry harder and bury my face in my pillow as the despair and worry take over. “He’s left her and moved into an apartment with this girl. She’s my age, has a rap sheet full of drug and theft charges, and to top it all off, she’s a prostitute.” I spit the words out like venom as I angrily wipe away tears.

  She gasps, and there’s a second of silence before she loses it.

  “You’ve got to be shitting me? That no-good piece of shit! Sorry. I know he’s your dad, but seriously. How can he do that? I thought they were a happily married couple.”

  I giggle, because when Gabby’s mad, she always makes me laugh. Her short little frame, vibrating as if she could really hurt a fly. I sigh when reality sinks in.

  “I wish I were, and didn’t we all.” I sag and flop back on the bed. “This came out of the blue. Mom had no clue he was unhappy or that anything was wrong.” My throat burns, and my voice cracks as I retell the latest. “He wanted me to come to his new place on Christmas and actually spend time with her. When I told him no, we got into an argument. Then I offered to meet him for lunch. You know what he did?” I pause, shooting straight up in bed, gripping the phone in one hand and sheets in the other, rage eating at me all over again. “He had to ask her if it was okay. Had to ask his new girlfriend if it was okay to meet his own daughter for lunch.” I break down again and sob into my sheets.

  “Oh, Tiffany, I wish you would have told me sooner. I would have been there for you.”

  Hiccupping, I reach for a tissue by the bed and blow my nose, wiping away the dampness coating my cheeks.

  “I know you would have, but that’s why I didn’t tell you, and I shouldn’t have dumped this in your lap now. With everything going on, though, my emotions are all over the place, and I couldn’t keep it in any longer. Plus I’m not ready for people to know, so please don’t tell anyone. I’m not ready to face all the questions and live in this hell more than I have to.”

  My stomach starts to clench, and I know I’m going to be sick. I have to stop getting this upset. I’m going to be old and gray before I’m thirty if this keeps up.

  “It doesn’t matter what’s going on. You’re my best friend, my sister. I’ll always be here for you, and I won’t tell anyone.”

  “I know, but I wanted you to have your happy bubble for a while. You’d waited so long to get here, and I didn’t want to bring you down. Listen, I’ve gotta go, but we’ll plan something soon, have a girls’ day, and we’ll talk more. Hopefully, I won’t be such an emotional basket case.”

  “All right, chick, but we’re doing this soon. I love you, Tiffany. Please call me if you need anything, and don’t ever keep this kind of stuff to yourself. No matter what, I’m always here for you.”

  “I love you, too.” I hang up and rush to the bathroom as I lose the fight to keep the acid from coming up. My stomach and throat burn as I heave and retch everything into the toilet.

  *Josh*

  I’ve been hanging around the kitchen for the past thirty minutes, pretending to clean up, just so I could listen in on Gabby’s conversation with Tiffany. The longer the conversation went on, the more uneasy I became. I heard Gabby say something about Tiffany’s dad, and I knew last night that something was going on with him.

  As soon as Gabby’s off the phone, I’m on her. “What’s going on with Tiffany?” I pull a chair out and sit down at the table with her. The sight of her busted lip and the knot on her head sends a fresh wave of anger radiating through me. If that sorry motherfucker wasn’t locked up, I would go teach him a thing or two about messing with my baby sister. But he’s out of the picture, and I need to focus on finding out what’s going on with my girl.

  Tears are streaming down Gabby’s face, and I can tell by the worry etched into it that something’s bad. My stomach pitches, and desperation eats at every fiber of my being. I need to know what’s going on with Tiffany so I can fix it.

  “I promised her I wouldn’t tell. Don’t make me break my word.” Gabby shakes her head while wiping her face.

  I pull in a deep breath and expel it, knowing I have to tell my sister what’s really been going on between Tiffany and me.

  “I have something I need to tell you, but first you have to swear that it stays between us, and you can’t let on that you know anything. In return, you have to tell me what’s going on with Tiffany.”

  She sits up straighter in her chair as her eyes go round. “Okay. What is it?”

  Here goes nothing. I hope she doesn’t get pissed at us for not telling her.

  “Tiffany and I were kind of seeing each other, but it ended about three weeks ago.” I pull at my lip with my pointer finger and thumb. How much should I tell her? I feel like I’m betraying Tiffany, but what other choice do I have? She won’t talk to me, and I need some answers—answers Gabby has.
r />   “What do you mean kind of?” Her nose scrunches up when her eyebrows draw together.

  “She didn’t want to be in a committed relationship. In all honesty, I never really gave her a choice.” I shrug. “I would just show up places and tell her we were doing something. I took her to Gatlinburg for the weekend right before we ended things. I got pissed that she wouldn’t give in and be with me. We’d been going on dates, and hell, in Tennessee, you would have never known we weren’t a couple. We had a fight, and I told her I was done. I was tired of putting in all this effort and getting nothing. I screwed up.”

  What I’ve realized is that I did get something in return. Tiffany was slowly giving herself to me. If I’d been more patient, then none of this would have happened. She would probably be here with us now. I know for a fact I was close to wearing her down. If I had kept my mouth shut and stopped acting like a chick for ten minutes, I would have realized that. Now, I’ll have to start from zero and work my way back up—if it’s not too late.

  No, I refuse to accept a life without Tiffany by my side. I’ve done it once, and I can do it again. I just need time and patience.

  “Wow. How long did all this go on?”

  “It started Halloween night when she hit on me while she was drunk, but I went over to y’all’s place the night you and Cam went to the Florida Georgia Line concert. That was, uh…” I chew on my lip and scratch my head. No way am I talking about my sex life with my sister, even if it was with her best friend. She doesn’t need to know the first thing about that part of my life. “The first time we went on a date.”

  “So this went on for a whole month, and neither one of you told me?” She slaps her hand down on the table. “That dirty hooker. We’re supposed to be best friends. What else is she keeping from me?”

  I lean my head back and huff out my breath. This is exactly what I was afraid of. I sit back up and lock my eyes on Gabby.

  “She didn’t want anyone to know because she swore we could never be together. That’s why you have to keep your mouth shut. You can’t say a word about this. Anyway, she spewed some bullshit about how she’s too young, and I act like an old man.”