Beach Bums

by Neil S. Plakcy

  It took a week of no sex to get back to normal, and when I returned to work I had to spend five days of mandatory full-time making nice to a group of middle-aged tourists in town for a married couples’ religious retreat. Boring! Although age is not an issue for me, anyone with potential in that group was way too obviously shackled to someone with a pussy.

  When their bus finally drove off into the distance, I heaved a sigh of relief and tossed their “Remind us to come back next year!” postcard into the trash. If they wanted to have another dedicated lifeguard assigned to them, I wasn’t going to volunteer for the job. They could make reservations on the county’s fucking website.

  By the time I got back to the beach, I was horny as hell. Clouds were rolling in and the weather report on the tower radio said rain was on the way. To me, unless it’s a thunderstorm, rain has never been a reason to stay out of the water. I mean, hell, I’m going into the water to get wet, you know? But the guests usually scatter when the sky starts getting dark.

  I climbed back into my chair, surprised to see a single man still wading along the edge of the water. His khaki slacks were rolled up to mid-calf and he carried leather dress shoes and dark socks in one midnight-black hand. His short-sleeved shirt blew back in the breeze and his short, tightly curled hair glistened lightly with sweat. I like looking at a well-dressed man, but the taut body under this man’s clothes was what interested me. A hard-on the size of Montana was tenting the front of his pants. And he was smiling at me.

  The closer he got, the more his white teeth split the darkness of his gorgeous, strong face. By then, I recognized him. Thomas and I had taken a class together a couple of years before. We’d fucked our brains out one long, blissful night after a party honoring him as teaching assistant of the year for the School of Business. He’d been a distance runner in college and he still ran marathons. We’d had an ongoing friendly disagreement over who had more stamina and talent, swimmers or runners. He’d offered to teach me to run marathons and I’d offered to teach him how to really swim. But right now, the only sport I was interested in with him was fucking. I knew just how good his cock felt sliding up my ass.

  “I thought you’d gone back to Kenya!” I laughed, sliding down onto the sand. One quick look around assured me we were definitely the only ones on the beach.

  “I did,” he smiled, his eyes traveling deliberately down and back up my body as we shook hands. “I’m back for some postdoc work. The department chair suggested I visit the beach to relax.” Thomas’s rich British accent slid over my skin, his grip firm as he held onto my hand way longer than was necessary. “I didn’t expect to find you here. Do you still shave your entire body, swimmer boy?”

  “The better to slide against you—if you’ve a mind to fuck.”

  Thomas’s grin matched mine as he cupped his crotch lecherously, letting me know exactly where his mind was. The sky was darkening quickly now. I could smell the rain coming on. With a final glance around the empty beach, I flicked off the radio and hung the huge “Beach Closed Due to Weather” sign on my chair. Then I grabbed my bright red lifeguard towel and my backpack and led Thomas to the thick copse of trees on the other side of the changing rooms—the side where even someone in the lifeguard stand couldn’t see us and where I’d verified that there was no fucking poison sumac.

  I was hard just thinking about how good it was going to feel being fucked by him again. I spread my towel at the base of a huge overhanging tree. Thomas tossed his shoes and socks onto the sand. Then he jerked me into his arms and shoved his tongue down my throat.

  Fuck, Thomas knew how to kiss. He tasted spicy and sweet, like cardamom and tea. I groaned as the heat of his body seeped into my skin. The muscles in his arms and legs were like steel ropes. Everywhere his skin touched me, it felt like I was being brushed with warm, soft velvet.

  “Lose the pants, pretty boy.”

  Thomas’s hands slid up to hold my head. With our tongues wrestling like anacondas, I shucked my trunks off and kicked them to the side. It felt weird standing outside in broad daylight in just my tank top, kissing someone who was fully dressed. But it was also way fucking hot. His hands slid down to cup my ass. I shivered hard.

  “Kneel on the towel with your face down and your arse in the air.” Thomas’s breath was cool on my wet lips. I was so addled from that incredible fucking kiss I couldn’t think of anything to say. I just nodded and knelt on the towel with my forehead on the thick, soft terry cloth and my ass pointed up at the sky. Thomas laughed as he knelt down beside me. From the corner of my eye, I saw his neatly ironed pants framed by the bright red of the towel. The outline of his gorgeous erection was right in my line of sight. He pushed my shirt up and out of the way.

  “One would think a lifeguard would make time to get an all-over tan.” His voice dripped mock disapproval as his hand slid over my hip.

  “Fuck you. When I’m naked, I’m too busy socializing to sunbathe.” I moaned as his fingers slid into my crack. “Lube’s in my backpack.”

  “Still well-prepared,” he chuckled. The backpack zipper whizzed open. “Your arse is an interesting shade of pale, considering how tan your legs are—and your back.”

  “I don’t always wear my shirt.” This time his fingers were slippery when they slid into my crack. I groaned loud and long. Thomas laughed again.

  “I’d wager you don’t wear your pants that often, either. This bottle is half-empty.” His finger slid in, hard and demanding, and it stayed there while he stroked his thumb over my perineum. “Do you remember when we fucked before?”

  “Oh, yeah!” I wiggled my ass at him, squeezing his finger as my dick twitched at the stimulation. I’d taken a lot of dicks in my life, but his was one of the few that had ever really filled me.

  “Then you’ll remember I like to play before I fuck, so your hole is relaxed enough to take me without turning into a bloody tourniquet.”

  “I remember.” My train of thought flew out the window as Thomas unzipped his pants. He wasn’t wearing underwear. As soon as his fly was open, his long, thick cock fell out, waving purplish black and heavy, the foreskin already stretching back over the glistening head.

  I licked my lips. “I want to suck your dick.”

  Thomas’s laugh was low and musical. “I believe that’s my cue to remove my clothing.”

  I squirmed in frustration as his fingers pulled free. The sight of Thomas sitting on the towel beside me, baring his ropes of arm and leg muscle and the hard wall of his chest and abs had my dick throbbing harder than ever. His cock jutted up, stiff and mouth-wateringly close. He folded his shirt and pants into a pile, taking a condom from his pocket and setting it on the towel. Then he lay down beside me, with his feet at my head. He pulled my leg over him and yanked me down so my cock bobbed against his chest. His beautiful dark cock arched up towards me, the smell of his musk filling my nostrils as I licked my lips. Then he cupped a buttcheek in each hand and pulled. As my asshole stretched, he put his thumbs on either side of my still-slippery ass lips and started to rub.

  “Suck my cock.”

  I did not have to be told twice. I opened my mouth and dragged my tongue down the length of his shaft. His skin was soft and warm and salty over the rigid flesh beneath. Thomas slowly stretched me open, drowning my ass in lube as he worked his fingers into me and pulled in deep, relentless circles. When his fingers again slid into me, I opened my mouth as wide as I could, took a deep breath, and swallowed his cock.

  His hiss of pleasure was all the incentive I needed to keep my throat around his cock until I was ready to pass out from lack of air. I’d enjoyed Thomas’s company before, in class and after the party. I was actually interested in what he’d been doing since I’d seen him last. But there was no way in hell I was going to let go of that delicious dick for anything as mundane as talking. We could do that later. As I once more choked in a breath, I wrapped my hands around the dark, wrinkled sack that held his low hanging balls and tugged on the tight, black curls. He arch
ed up into my throat, his fingers sliding into me again; I couldn’t even guess how many he had stuffed up my ass.

  “Your arsehole is definitely ready to be fucked.”

  Understatements R’ Us. He slapped my ass. I pulled up and turned around, squatting over him with my feet planted firmly on the towel, my hands braced for balance. Thomas pulled on the condom and slathered it with lube. Using both hands, he held his cock steady as I slowly lowered myself onto him.

  He was slick and I was ready, but when his dickhead popped through, it still felt like I was being split in two. I hissed and stiffened, my eyes watering. But I was so horny, I didn’t stop. I wanted his fucking dick up my ass, and I wanted it now. Thomas didn’t say anything, just stared at me with his huge, brown, velvety eyes and that smile creasing his lips. He held his cock rock-still as it slowly speared up into me. My dick had softened, but the hungry look he was giving me combined with the glorious feeling of his cock sliding through my hole had me getting hard all over again. I groaned as my asscheeks brushed against his pubic hair.

  “My ass is so full,” I whispered, trying to squeeze his cock with my ass. I was stretched too wide to give him much more than a little hug. Precum oozed up from my joyspot.

  “I’m in the mood for a long, slow fuck.” His low laugh felt like it was vibrating right through me. “Feel free to come whenever you want. I doubt it will make any difference in the tightness of your arsehole anymore.” Putting his hands on my waist, he helped me slowly raise up and lower myself back down.

  My hole was so stretched he could have driven a truck through it, and I was so turned on I figured I was going to last about twenty seconds. But the pace Thomas set was slow and steady and such excruciating bliss that rather than sending my dick into a cum frenzy, my body felt like it was gradually being teased into exploding from the inside out. My ass and balls and chest and shoulders, hell, even my fucking ears trembled as much as my legs. I raised and lowered myself again and again, staring down between my burning thighs at my sweat pouring down onto his glistening black abs. His thighs flexed beneath me, tensing with each thrust. My cock bobbed over him, red and drooling precum.

  “Show me your infamous swimmer’s stamina.” Sweat ran down Thomas’s face and torso, but that fucker was still laughing as he wrapped his long, dark fingers around my hairless white balls. I lifted my chin, ready to show him I could last as long as any fucking runner could, no matter how turned on I was. Then that fucker cheated. He wrapped his other hand around my dick. His fingers were slippery with lube and he started jacking me off.

  I barely recognized the sound coming from my throat as mine. Just like that, he’d won, and I did not fucking care. I lifted up, his cock once more burning through my hole as his hand stroked relentlessly over my shaft. My balls were climbing my dick.

  “Let it happen,” he said softly. I sank down, his cock once more filling my ass. He twisted his hand over my dick. Fuck, fuck, FUCK! Shaking and shouting, I ground against him, putting my full weight on him as creamy ropes of jism jetted out onto his chest. I literally saw fucking stars. Thomas grabbed my waist, his arm muscles bulging as he lifted me just enough to rabbit punch his cock up into me. Each bludgeoning thrust forced more cum out of me, until my whole body felt like one howling, shuddering orgasm. He shouted as he came, his huge cock stretching my poor battered hole even farther.

  My legs were shaking too hard to support my weight anymore. I eased forward, until Thomas’s cock pulled free with a soft plop. Then I collapsed onto him, so fucking wasted I could hardly breathe. My heart pounded against his, my cum drying between us as he stroked my back. No coach on land or water had ever put me through a more exhausting workout.

  The rain had started. Occasional drops fell through the leaves and onto our sweaty skin. When I’d finally caught my breath, I rolled over next to Thomas, stretching like a well-petted cat. Then I tipped my head back to catch the drops falling through the leaves. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye.

  “So does this mean you’re ready to learn to really swim now? You’re pretty lucky, you know. I’m a lifeguard and a certified swimming instructor. Hell, I’m a certified water polo coach.”

  As usual, Thomas was smiling. “I presume that means you’re qualified to show me how to handle balls underwater.”

  I turned and gave him a big, slurping kiss. “You bet your ass. Want to get wet?”

  “Later,” he growled, grabbing me and sliding his fingers back into my well-used hole. “For the moment, we’re practicing stamina.”

  I kissed him back. With a little bit of rest, I was going to be up for him taking me wherever he wanted to go. Rain or shine, the “Beach Closed” sign was staying up for the rest of the day.

  THE ULTIMATE BREAKUP CURE

  Raven de Hart

  Lying bitch.” I tossed a rock at the ocean, sending up a shower of gems in the sunset.

  Penny pressed a bottle of Patrón into my hand. “You need a whole lot more of this.”

  “I don’t want any.” I really did, and swilled down so much tequila I coughed it all down my front. “I did everything for him. His stupid fucking car? I had my dad fix it up for him when we graduated college. Do you know what he got me? A card! That job he has? I recommended him to my cousin in the first place.” I kicked through the sand, showering the bonfire in particles. “Then that bastard sold the store and the new owner won’t fire him.”

  I grabbed for the liquor again, but Penny pushed my hand away. “Hell no.” She wrapped her arm around me. “Luke, you’re a good guy and Kenny’s a total ass.”

  “You’re my hag. You have to say that.” I still nuzzled closer to her. “But thanks.”

  She squeezed me tighter, then got up and tossed a new log on the fire. “What you need is to get right back up on the whore.”

  “Horse.”

  She shook her head. “No, whore. Find some guy and have him fuck your brains out, drink a glass of orange juice, and do it all over again.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh, and I really tried not to. “Hard sweaty sex isn’t the answer to all of life’s problems, Pen.”

  “No, but it’s normally a good idea.” She sat down and sipped at the tequila. Then she opened her mouth, tugged on my sleeve, and pointed. I was a bit delirious, so it took me a minute to follow her finger to the spectacle. She finally got out her word. “Damn.”

  I had to agree. You know those fan-service scenes with the guy walking down the beach at sunset? Well, that’s what it was. He had store-bought, bleach-blond hair, long legs, and that body. “Damn.”

  Penny tugged even harder at my sleeve. “Luke, he’s coming this way.”

  I laughed. “Fat chance. He’s probably just headed back to his car or something.” He stepped closer. “Or he’s lost and looking for directions.”

  “Have a little faith, Luke. He’s coming right to us.”

  Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He was. He stopped just in front of the fire. “You guys mind if I chill here for a sec?”

  “No.” Penny got off the log. “It’s warmer over here, if you’re cold.”

  “Thanks.”

  I tried to follow her, but she pushed me down. The stranger sat closer than I expected—he was kind of cold. “Sorry for intruding.” He extended a hand to me, a tattooed chain winding over his skin. “Sean.”

  “Luke.” I stayed in the handshake longer than I should have, only letting go when he cleared his throat. I shook myself back to functionality. “Right, that’s Penny.”

  “You mean the girl? She just went to the bathroom.”

  Bitch. “Oh, well, her name’s still Penny.”

  He leaned in close, so I could feel his breath on my face. “Hey, man, what’s wrong?”

  “What do you mean?”

  He ran a finger just under my eye. “You’ve been crying.”

  I shook my head. “It’s nothing.” I looked around for some way to change the subject and found the tequila. After taking a hearty helping, I offered it to Sean. �
��It’ll warm you up.”

  “Yeah, thanks, man.” He sipped it and started hacking and coughing. “Damn, that must be good tequila.” He handed it back, face red. “Never could stomach that stuff too well.”

  “Yeah, it’s not my favorite either, but it was an emergency drinking situation.” Damn it. I’d actually managed to change the subject, and then I just went and threw away the effort. “So what are you doing out here?”

  He sighed. “I like it out here this time of the evening, with the sun on the water and all that. It’s pretty.”

  “So are you.”

  Shit. One too many drinks tonight. I stammered, but Sean rolled with it. “Well you ain’t exactly hideous yourself.” He hugged me. Apparently, in his mind, that was okay. Of course, I didn’t argue, so what does that say? Mind you, I was trying to fight back some serious boner action, so I at least had some excuse. He let go. “When did you get dumped?”

  A chill ran across my face. “How the hell did you know?”

  “I’m psychic.” He laughed, digging into the pocket of his jean shorts. “No, I found this picture torn up down on the other end of the beach.”

  It was a shot of me and Ken from Christmas, wearing nothing but Santa caps. I grabbed it and tossed it in the fire. “This morning.”

  “Tough break.”

  “We were together since high school.” I took another big drink of Patrón. “Come to find out he’s been nailing my sister on his lunch break for the past two years.”

  “Ouch.”

  “You don’t have to tell me.”

  We sat there for a while until Penny came back. “Who died?” she asked, looking at how glum Sean and I were.

  I looked up at her. “My relationship.”

  “Yeah, but what else?”

  Sean stretched, yawning. “Well, thanks for the fire. I should leave you two be.”

  He started back along the beach and a word leaped from my throat. “Wait!” He turned and Penny laughed. I slapped her across the shoulder. “You can stick around, if you don’t have anything better to do.” My face got even hotter as I spoke. “I mean, just a suggestion.”