Superheroes Suck

by Jamie Zakian

  Shay wrapped her arms around her legs. She needed to pinch herself, to make sure this wasn’t a dream, but didn’t want Max to see. In a totally sly move, she dug her nail into her thigh.

  Nothing happened. Max remained slumped on her windowsill, the noise of city life still streamed into her room, and her insides continued to burn in the most pleasant way.

  Max stared at Shay, as if she were a puzzle without its pieces. “Are you different, like us?”

  The whirlwind of tingles in Shay’s stomach warped to spikes of embarrassment. Max wasn’t there to date her. He came to her window in the dead of night to recruit her into his superhero clique.

  “No.” Shay’s tight shoulders unwound, and her hands flopped to the carpet. “There’s nothing exceptional about me.”

  This she knew. Like every kid in Gemini City, she jumped off her bed trying to fly, attempted to throw fire or electricity from her fingertips, punched walls to see if they’d split, only to end with scrapes and bruises.

  “That’s not true.” Max leaned inside the window. “I’m sure you’re very exceptional. You seem like a know-it-all. Maybe that’s your special power.”

  A light knock rattled the door and Shay spun from the window. Evie traipsed inside Shay’s bedroom, sparking a different, more painful type of blaze in Shay’s stomach.

  Shay looked back at the window. Curtains danced on the wind, fluttering in front of an empty window. Her relief only lasted seconds. It had been swallowed by a weird sense of disappointment once she’d found Max had gone.

  “Whatcha doing?” Evie sat on the floor beside Shay and joined her in gazing out the open window at a dark sky.

  Shay didn’t want to lie, but she wasn’t about to tell the entire truth either. “Couldn’t sleep.”

  “I wish we could see more stars. All the lights block them out.” Evie scooted closer to Shay, leaning against her shoulder. “Do you remember when Mom and Dad took us camping?”

  “Yeah. You complained the entire time, then a bug flew into your mouth. You ate it and cried for an hour straight.”

  Evie snickered as she shut the window. “You forgot about the fun parts—the stargazing, the s’mores.” She stared out the window for a moment then pulled the curtain closed. “We should go back sometime.”

  The sadness in Evie’s eyes cleared once she looked down at Shay. “Come on, it’s late. You’ve got school tomorrow.”

  Shay climbed off the floor and hopped into bed. She glanced at the window. Max wouldn’t be coming back tonight. Now that he knew she didn’t have powers, he may never come back at all.

  “Can I go to court with you tomorrow?” The question completely slipped out of Shay’s mouth. She hadn’t even taken the time to concoct a solid purpose for her presence in court.

  “Why?” Evie asked, crossing her arms.

  Shay couldn’t say how badly she wanted to see Max. To throw a fit and proclaim she’d go anyway wouldn’t fly either, so she spouted out the first useable idea that popped into mind.

  “This is gonna be history one day. If I’m there, I could take notes and write a report. I bet I’ll get an A+ in civics class.”

  Evie’s poker face held strong. Shay couldn’t tell if this conversation would go her way, or south.

  “Plus.” Shay’s tone spiked and she fought to dial back the desperation. “I want to be there to support you. I’m really proud of how you’re standing up for what you believe in.”

  The sentiment came out thick but it was true. Although Shay didn’t agree with Evie, she was proud of her sister’s courage.

  “You have no idea how much that means to me. Of course you can go. I was probably going to drag you along anyway. Goodnight, Shay.”

  “Love you, Evie.”

  Close to one hundred people crammed into the courtroom. Their voices circled the wide-open space, became trapped by the vaulted ceiling, and melded into one big garble.

  Shay fidgeted on the hard courtroom bench. She’d scored prime seating in the second row by arriving early with Evie. Her butt had grown numb, but she wasn’t getting up and losing her place.

  The bench’s solid wood armrest dug into Shay’s side as she looked behind her. Every one of the many long benches, on both sides of the courthouse, were full of anxious men and woman. Evie stood at the back of the room, beside the open double doors, surrounded by a flock of reporters.

  Cameras flashed nonstop, flooding the people in the back rows with white light. The distinguished members of the press shoved each other to get a chance to stick their microphone in Evie’s face and ask ridiculous questions. Claims adjustors had become popular after super-people started wrecking everything, but her sister was taking their fame to a new level.

  A wave of cheers echoed from afar and the reporters rushed into the hallway, leaving Evie alone with her small group of lawyers. The courtroom that had been filled with chatter only moments ago fell silent. Now, a hush clung to the air.

  Every person inside the large courtroom turned to stare at its empty doorway, and the barrage of camera flashes that bounced off the walls outside them, except for Evie. Her sister strolled down the center aisle, head high.

  Not one hair straggled from Evie’s tightly wrapped bun. The neatly pressed ends of a pinstriped skirt didn’t bunch when her sister sat at the table in front of the room. Evie looked magnificent, like a real woman. It stirred up a tiny thread of jealousy inside Shay, which she hated.

  The flood of excited hoots grew and camera flashes bathed the courtroom in white. Shay tensed up. The amount of gasps alone told her three superheroes had walked into the room. People on the bench seat next to her, in front of her, and across the aisle from her all turned to soak in the sight. Her body must’ve missed the social cue to gawk, since she stayed paralyzed.

  Footsteps thumped against the wooden floor, louder, stronger. A cape’s soft edge brushed against Shay’s arm, leaving a trail of prickly heat, and she looked up from her lap.

  Firestorm had walked by her, behind Electric-Luxie and Mr. Amazing. The trio marched along with their confident stares dead ahead, and all those nearby shuddered in their wake.

  “All rise,” a man called out.

  Shay tried to climb to her feet, like all the other people, but her muscles felt like jelly. She slumped lower in her seat, hidden behind a shield of bodies. With all eyes on the front of the room, nobody noticed her sitting there in a stupor.

  None of this made sense. She was smart, like, IQ off the charts smart. It was obvious her reactions to Max were due to a release of pheromones slamming into her already jacked-up hormones. Simple chemistry. She’d been told knowledge was power. That was clearly a lie. Her brain overflowed with knowledge, yet she couldn’t find the power to will her legs to stand.

  When everyone returned to their seats, Shay and Evie locked eyes. Her sister looked terrified, which snapped Shay from her fuzzy haze and kicked on her instinct to protect.

  Shay loaded all her positivity into a smile and nodded at Evie. That one small gesture brought the steel back to Evie’s gaze. Her sister sat tall, like the badass she was, and turned to face the judge upon his tall bench.

  “The case before me is very unusual,” said the judge, shifting in his large leather chair. “It seems the city has decided to sue Simon Ling a.k.a. Mr. Amazing, Alexie Colt a.k.a. Electric-Luxie, and Max Storm a.k.a. Firestorm for reparations in the sum of one-point-two million dollars.”

  “Your Honor,” Mr. Amazing interrupted, much to the judge’s delight. “We are incredibly sorry about the damage done to our great city over the years, and of course we’d be happy to cover the costs. For this and any future losses the city deems necessary.”

  Applause rang out. The judge almost clapped as well before quickly shaking off his grin and banging the gavel.

  “Your Honor?” Evie said unable to mask her shock.

  “Ms. Sinclair.” A stern expression formed on the judge’s wrinkly face as he curved towa
rd Evie. “You are not to address the court unless instructed.”

  Evie’s jaw dropped, which mirrored Shay’s expression to a T.

  The judge looked back at the trio of superheroes and his smile returned. “I am impressed. The three of you are faced with the most baseless, despicable charges I’ve ever seen and you come in here showing nothing but grace.”

  In a huff, the judge turned to stare at Evie. “Would this satisfy the city?”

  “Judge Mallard,” Evie said in that tone she reserved for those about to get a mouthful of sass. “We too are impressed by the valor of the defendant’s offer, but this matter is more serious than assigning financial responsibility. In the second part of the brief—”

  “Honestly, Ms. Sinclair, I was too appalled by the brief to get beyond the second page. You do realize the three people you’re suing are our only defense against the villains who plague our city?”

  “Your Honor,” said one of Evie’s lawyers. “This is highly unprofessional. By neglecting to read the brief, you give us grounds to take this matter to the Supreme Court.”

  “All right. Give me a second here.” The judge opened a file. Each time he turned a page, an annoyed grunt flew from his mouth. He looked up from the pages to stare at Evie, and a sarcastic grin lit his face. “You want to police the superheroes?”

  “It goes beyond that, Your Honor,” Evie said. “There has to be some type of standards in place. A code of conduct. They need training on how to fight safely and cost-efficiently. If you’ll look at exhibit one, you’ll see the statistics show—”

  “This is absurd, Ms. Sinclair.” The judge grumbled, tossing his glasses onto the stack of files in front of him.

  “I don’t think you know how fighting works,” Alexie said, glancing at Evie

  The lawyer closest to Evie rose to his feet. “Your honor. This situation has become quite severe. I’ve been contacted by several senators. They have concerns this type of trouble will spread beyond our city, to their states. I’ve heard mention of a task force, marshal law.”

  Whispers swelled throughout the courtroom, and Shay sagged against the armrest of her hard bench seat. She knew what marshal law meant. Soldiers on every corner doing what they wished without explanation, taking away anybody with superpowers no matter good or bad. Max turned to look at Shay, and she glimpsed a twinge of fear in his eyes.

  “Now,” the lawyer continued, once his pause for dramatic effect wore off. “I don’t think any of us want the federal government turning our beloved city upside down. The Superhero Policing Unit we’re proposing is to safeguard everyone, especially our super-friends and protectors.”

  “We’ll do it,” Max blurted out, and Alexie slapped his chest. “But there’s a condition. I know for a fact that Evie Sinclair is biased against superheroes. That makes us fear how impartial she can be. I also know that Ms. Shay Sinclair …”

  Max turned. All eyes followed his pointed finger to Shay, and she jolted up in her seat.

  “… is favorable toward the plight of the hero. I’ve composed a dossier on Ms. Shay Sinclair.”

  Max lifted a file, and Shay almost jumped from her seat to grab it. She had no idea what Max composed, or if any of his information was accurate.

  “I think you’ll find Shay is beyond qualified to oversee a superhero policing unit,” said Max as the bailiff passed the file to the judge. “She, and the other Ms. Sinclair will balance each other out. If they both sign off on a rule, we’ll follow it.”

  Evie stood shocked. Only her head moved, to alternate passing dirty looks between Max and Shay.

  “This is an impressive profile,” said the judge with a gentle nod. “I’ll allow this experiment on a trial basis, but, Shay Sinclair.”

  The judge looked at Shay and her heart jumped into her throat, gagging her.

  “You should consider employment with the space program.”

  “I’m gonna need a copy of that dossier,” Evie practically yelled.

  After closing the files on his desk, the judge glanced at Evie. “Both parties will receive official instructions on their responsibilities, as well as copies of all documents presented before the court by day’s end. You’ll all report back here in one month for review.”

  A giddy grin skirted onto the judge’s face as he stole one more glimpse of the superheroes. “It’s been both an honor and a pleasure to have you three in my courtroom. Thank you for your continued service to our city and its devoted residences.”

  The judge glared at Evie then rose to his feet, banging his gavel. “Court adjourned.”

  Shay jogged down the courthouse steps to catch Evie. The clamor of reporters gave way to the boos of superhero supporters, who hissed at them as they pushed through a picket line.

  “Evie, slow down,” Shay called out, running down the sidewalk after Evie. “You’re gonna hurt your feet. I know how hard it is to walk in your shoes.”

  “You’re about to find out how true that really is.” Evie stopped short and spun on her high heels. “What was in that file?”

  “I don’t know, but I doubt it mentioned I’m a junior at Gemini City High.”

  The suspicion on Evie’s face deepened and anger flared within Shay. She was not taking the blame for something she didn’t do.

  “Don’t look at me like that. I’m still trying to figure out what happened back there.”

  “Did you …” Evie rubbed her forehead as she took a deep breath. “Are you … dating?”

  “You tell me. I spend every second with you, unless I’m at school or sleeping.”

  Evie walked toward a small café and sat at a little table just off the bustling sidewalk. “I heard a man’s voice coming from your room last night. Firestorm can fly, and your window was open. If you’re in a relationship with him, we can talk about it. Figure this out.”

  Shay sat in the chair across from her sister, waiting for the punchline, but Evie was actually serious. “I don’t know him. Never met him before yesterday. I swear.”

  “This is a disaster.” Evie dropped her hand onto the table, her manicured nails clicking against its glass top. “I’m going to have to take this to the Supreme Court, have the judge’s ruling overturned.”

  “What? You’d let the federal government trample all over our city just to keep from working with me?”

  “No, to keep you safe. Why do you think I’m doing all this in the first place? Every time I leave you home alone, I’m afraid something’s gonna crash through our wall and kill you.”

  Chills ran along Shay’s spine. She feared the same exact thing, but she couldn’t tell Evie. It would only add to her sister’s totally valid concerns.

  “It’s no different than following you to superhero incident scenes, which I’ve been doing for years.”

  A cyclone of emotions ravaged Evie’s face, but the one that stood out most to Shay was doubt. Evie had been her biggest supporter. She couldn’t lose her sister’s belief, not over something she was confident she’d excel at.

  “Please, Evie. I have so many ideas on how to improve safety and reduce structural damage during super-people battles.”

  For the briefest of seconds, tears welled inside Evie’s eyes before she snapped back into rock-solid form. “I planned on asking for your help tonight at dinner. Even had a lab built based on the pictures you showed me from the courses you took last summer. Those superheroes ruin everything.”

  Shay jumped from her seat and hugged Evie. “Thank you, thank you. You’re the best, ever.”

  “Try to remember that next week—you’ve seen the type of tyrant I am at work.”

  Max waited patiently in the back of a limo as Alexie signed magazine covers. Her fake smile would fade, and she’d scream at him once they were alone. He couldn’t escape her wrath; she could fly just as fast as him. All he could do was wait patiently.

  After a quick wave to the hoard of screaming people, Alexie climbed inside the car and shut the door. Mu
ch to Max’s surprise, she turned her annoyed stare to Simon.

  “What? This is all his doing,” Simon said, pointing at Max.

  Simon was a jerk. He could’ve at least taken half the blame for teaching Max the word dossier.

  “They were gonna sic the feds on us. I had to think of something.” Max grabbed a bottle of water from the limo’s small bar, opening its lid. “You two never had to submit to government tests. Probes, needles. I’ll take my thank you in the form of a gift, preferably a crotch rocket.”

  Max lifted the water to his lips and Alexie raised her arm. A thin bolt of lightning shot from her palm, crackling the air before striking Max’s chest. His body convulsed, and water spilled down the front of his spandex suit.

  “D-Dammit, Lexie,” Max stuttered, his limbs juddering from the electric zap.

  Alexie snickered. “That’s what you get. Follow their rules. What’s wrong with you? And what was in that file you gave the judge?”

  Max couldn’t hide the evidence of his misdeeds. The court documents would be released by day’s end. “Shay spent the last four summers attending advanced STEM courses at prestigious colleges. I may have elaborated on that aspect of her life, and forgotten to include other small details.”

  “Like her age,” Alexie said in a sneer.

  “This might be a good thing,” Simon said, scooting away from Alexie. “I’m getting sick of hurting innocent people, destroying a different building every week. I have resources, and we have powers. We could help people across the world. Instead we spend all our time either chasing Lucius and Cyrus or fighting them. If Evie and Shay can help—”

  “What can they possibly do?” Alexie slouched down in the limo’s leather seat. “They’re just regular people.”

  “You are so special,” Ollie yelled, looking up from the court issued documents in his hand.

  “Keep it down.” Shay closed her bedroom door and sat on the edge of her bed. “I don’t want to upset Evie … any more.”