by Karin Baine
He was sitting with Simon now, spending the journey time pointing out the sights through the tiny side windows. He had a love and knowledge of the world around him that he was keen to share. Then there was that fun side to him as he encouraged his sidekick to wave at passers-by and make silly noises every time they went under a bridge. A distraction, she guessed, from the odd curious stare and a fear of the dark.
It was probably the first time in his young life he had two adults working together to put his needs above their own. She hoped one day he would have this for real even if she wouldn’t. There would be a family for Simon someday but she doubted she’d ever find another Matt who’d take her and her planned foster brood on for anything other than an afternoon. She wasn’t lucky that way.
Their gentle journey came to an end in a leafy area which still seemed miles from civilisation. As if sensing her confusion, Matt reached his arm across the seat and rested his hand on her shoulder.
‘The waterbus tours have their own entrance into the zoo so there’s no need for us to join the queues at the main entrance.’
A warmth started in the pit of Quinn’s stomach and gradually spread its way through her system and it wasn’t purely because they couldn’t seem to help themselves from making body contact when and where they could. On this occasion it was Matt’s thoughtfulness which had really captured her heart. Something which had been sadly lacking from the people in her and Simon’s lives to date. Without making a big deal about it, he’d carefully constructed a tailor-made route into the busy zoo to suit all of a traumatised child’s needs.
From the magical puppet theatre, to the tranquil method of transport, and now this, the trouble he’d gone to just so they could arrive at their destination relaxed brought a lump to her throat.
If only she and Simon had had male role models who took such care of others, they mightn’t have had the past heartaches they were both still trying to overcome.
They waited until all the other passengers had disembarked before they left their seats, with Quinn hesitant to leave the sweet memories of their journey here to rejoin the masses on the other side of the hill.
‘Your sisters are very lucky to have you,’ she said as Matt helped her ashore. If he treated his siblings as well as he did his patients and families they would never have been in doubt about being loved, and that was the most important aspect of growing up in any family.
His brow knitted together trying to fathom what to make of her compliment. She had no doubt he’d experienced the same general struggles as she’d had as a single parent, yet the very fact he didn’t expect thanks for getting through them spoke volumes. A person didn’t become a parent for awards and accolades but to create the best possible start in life for their children. Be it younger siblings or foster children. Simply by doing her best for Simon, Quinn was beginning to see she was already the best mother he’d ever had.
Simon squeezed her hand as they moved through to the main part of the zoo with people as far as the eye could see. She squeezed back, reassuring him she was here whenever he needed her. That was all she could do for as long as he was with her—love him and protect him as well as she could. Someday that might be enough for him.
As more children, and adults who should’ve known better, turned to stare at the little boy with the scars and burned skin, she held him closer. Matt took up residence on the other side so they created a protective barrier around him. Somehow they’d get through this together.
CHAPTER SEVEN
‘IS IT STILL the done thing to go to the zoo? Should I feel guilty about walking freely around here peering in at caged animals?’ As excited as she was to be here, she did have a social conscience and the child-versus-adult argument about it in her head was in danger of tainting the experience.
‘There are two very different schools of thought but the zoo today is much more than the sideshow attraction it used to be. It’s educational and provides a natural environment for the animals. Then there are the conservation projects which are funded through the admission fees...’
‘Okay. Okay. I’m sold. I can enjoy the view safe in the knowledge I’m not contributing to any ill treatment.’ She trusted Matt’s judgement. He’d done his homework and he wasn’t the sort of man to throw his weight behind a cause unless it was for the greater good. He was principled and not the type to bend the facts to suit his own agenda. Unlike her ex, who’d pretended he wanted a family so he could move in with her.
Quinn shooed away the negative thoughts from her past to replace them with the positive. Such as Matt, positively yummy in his casual clothes again this morning. As he turned to study the map, she was free to ogle his backside encased in black denim and the perfect V of his torso wrapped in dark grey cotton.
‘What are you smiling at, Quinn?’ Simon quizzed, drawing Matt’s attention back from the map.
Caught in the act of perving at Matt’s physical attributes, lies didn’t come easy to her. ‘I, er...I was just thinking nice thoughts.’
She spun on her heel and started walking again, ignoring the smirk on Matt’s face and the heat of her own.
‘What ones?’ Simon tugged her hand with the unfiltered curiosity only a child could get away with.
The puppets. The boat. Matt’s butt.
She could’ve said any of those things and they would’ve been true.
In the end she went with, ‘About how much fun I’m having with you both today.’
Curiosity satisfied, Simon moved on to his new topic of interest, staring at the pictures of ice creams depicted on an advertising board.
‘Can I have one?’
‘It’s a bit early for ice cream but we can get one later. All good boys and girls deserve a treat now and then, don’t you think, Quinn?’ Matt was so close his breath tickled the inside of her ear and did something to her that made her a very bad girl.
She so wanted him to be talking about more than a child or an ice cream.
Up until now she’d been the very model of restraint but she was wondering if she deserved a treat too? They did say a little of what you fancy was good for you and there was no denying what it was she fancied more than anything.
‘Absolutely. Life can get very dull if you don’t give in to temptation once in a while.’ She locked eyes with Matt so that all pretence they were still talking about dairy products vanished without trace.
Eye contact definitely constituted flirting when the heat flaring between them was hotter than the morning sun. They’d proved they could be adults, and whatever did or didn’t happen between them personally wouldn’t become an issue where Simon was concerned. There was no fostering law against her seeing someone either, except the one she’d created herself. By trying to protect her heart she might actually be denying herself the best thing that had walked into her life since Simon.
Despite the unexpected trials and tribulations which had made their journey more difficult than it should’ve been, she couldn’t imagine her existence without Simon in it. Or Matt, for that matter, and therein lay the danger. The damage had already been done, because she knew when the time came for these two to leave, all she’d have left would be a broken heart and some wonderful memories.
Today was all about making those memorable moments and as long as they avoided any empty promises they might actually get to make a few. Matt was a boost to her confidence when he did his best to convince her she could handle whatever fate threw at her. That was every bit as enticing as the soft lips which had caressed hers and the warm hands she could still imagine on her skin. He was right. She did deserve a treat.
Away from impressionable young eyes who might read more into an adult relationship than was true, she wanted one more taste of her dishy doc.
* * *
They made their way around the exhibits, each animal becoming Simon’s new favourite as he w
as introduced to their habitats, and eventually circled back to the area where they’d started. Their route had been dictated according to which animals Simon wanted to see rather than the logical, more traditional route everyone else was following. It had probably added a few extra miles to their journey but that could be to their advantage later when exhaustion caught up with him.
Quinn had to admit a pang of self-pity for her inner child when she was only getting to experience this herself at the age of thirty-two. Watching Simon’s face light up every time a penguin swam close or a monkey swung by, she ached for the little girl who’d been denied this joy with her own parents.
Every child should experience the fun and wonder to be had in the world beyond school and the foster system and she vowed to do it for whoever entered her care. It didn’t have to be the zoo, or with Matt, but she wanted her future foster children to have at least one day of simply being a kid.
‘You wish you could get in there, don’t you?’
‘Sorry?’ Quinn panicked that Matt had caught her ogling his backside again.
‘The meerkat tunnels. I can see you’re busting to get in those with him.’ He nodded over towards Simon, who’d popped his head up in the plastic capsule overlooking the enclosure.
‘Yeah. This place is great, so interactive for the kids, but us adults might want to find out what it’s like to be a meerkat for the afternoon too.’ She covered herself quickly, happy to acknowledge her play envy before her relationship daydreams. After all, she didn’t know if Matt saw her as anything other than an acquaintance now. He’d certainly been in control of any more urges to kiss her. More’s the pity.
Despite the flirting and the unnecessary touching, which she could have misconstrued entirely, he hadn’t made another move on her.
‘Poor Quinn. I hear they do some adult-only tours of the zoo at night. Perhaps we should sign up for one?’ He was teasing her but he painted an enticing picture of an intimate party of two having some fun together at night.
‘It seems to me that we both missed out on the whole childhood fun thing. It mightn’t be a bad idea for us to have some quality time in the dark.’ Her temperature rose with the bold proposal, as did Matt’s eyebrows.
‘Hold that thought,’ he growled into her ear as Simon came running back to greet them.
‘When are we getting something to eat?’
‘Soon.’ She was glad he was getting his appetite back and she would simply have to set aside her hunger for anything other than lunch until she and Matt were alone again.
Matt thought he’d imagined the heat shimmering between them, a manifestation of his own frustration that he and Quinn hadn’t progressed to anything beyond that one sizzling kiss. He’d wanted more but when she’d given him his marching orders he’d done his best to ignore the temptation. That was until he’d seen the darkening of her eyes, the sapphire fire matching the one burning inside him.
He wasn’t a man to disappoint anyone if he could help it but there was a time and place for everything and at this very moment they had a hungry boy to feed.
He’d arranged a special child-sized lunch for them. Although the restaurant was crowded with most tables and chairs occupied, they were able to slip into a quiet side room where they served a more civilised afternoon tea.
‘This is amazing! You’re really spoiling us today.’ Quinn clapped her hands together as the arrangement of mini-rolls, sandwiches and bite-sized cakes and scones arrived, presented on a small picnic bench.
‘You’re worth it,’ he said, hoping he sounded more complimentary than cheesy.
He meant it. She should have someone treating her every day and making her feel special. The delight on her face and her grateful smile puffed Matt’s chest out that he’d been the one to put it there and he didn’t want anyone else to have the privilege.
When he’d planned this day he’d convinced himself he’d be glad when it was over, his responsibility to the pair outside the hospital over for good. Now that they were coming to the last stages, he was beginning to have second thoughts. He could honestly say this was one of the best days he’d had since moving to London and that was entirely down to the company. It would be stupid to end things here and now simply because there was a child involved. There’d always been children in his life. Children who weren’t his. If Quinn was willing to be brave about it, then so was he. A relationship didn’t have to mean a family and he was sure he could keep the two separate. Especially when the arrangements were all so fluid.
When they’d eaten their fill they headed to the indoor exhibits they’d bypassed in favour of some of the more exotic creatures.
‘We are now entering the Rainforest Life,’ he said in the style of a nature documentary voiceover artist.
Simon ran ahead into the tropical wilderness, hopped up on mini-desserts and fruit juice.
‘He’s going to have one hell of a crash when that sugar rush wears off.’ Quinn attempted to scold him but he knew she’d savoured every mouthful of that lunch. Each heavenly groan and lick of her lips attested to her pleasure as well as increasing his discomfort. He’d heard those sounds before and intended for her to make them again soon, somewhere more private.
‘Look at him!’ Simon was off again, following the path of a bright blue bird flitting through the plants and vines.
‘He’s pretty.’ Quinn was observing the exotic display from the balcony beside him, unaware she was adding to the beauty of it all.
Never mind the rare birds flying overhead or the small monkeys swinging freely through the vines, this was all about Quinn for him. The pure delight she took in her surroundings was refreshing and contagious. He’d been so caught up in material possessions and showing he could cut it as a single man in the city, he’d forgotten what it was to just enjoy life. The barrier he’d erected to protect himself had become as much of a prison as that council flat in Dublin.
Given the chance he’d swap his fancy car to travel on a barge anywhere if she was part of the deal. It was as if he was recapturing that lost childhood of his too, by being with her.
He’d been forced to grow up too quickly. From his mother walking out on her family, through his father’s illness, and ultimately his death, Matt had never had time for the mischief and fun other kids had experienced. With Quinn he didn’t have to be embarrassed in his joy at a puppet show when she was here spinning around, letting the mist fall on her face and telling the sloth how sleepy he looked. Matt had had enough of being the adult and there was plenty of room for his inner child, not to mention the randy teenager.
They stepped out of the light and moved into the nocturnal area. Faced with the creatures of the night, including giant rats and flitting bats, it wasn’t long before he found Quinn cuddled up next to him.
‘I don’t know how Simon is enjoying this.’
‘He’s a boy. We like gross stuff.’
‘I don’t want to stay in here,’ she whispered, fear pitching her voice until only the bats could probably hear.
Matt felt her hand graze by his knuckles as she fumbled for his reassurance in the dark. He took hold of her and turned so she could make him out in the dimmed light.
‘I’ll keep you safe.’
In that moment they were locked into their own world, staring into each other’s eyes and holding hands like lovers who’d just sworn their lives to one another. The rest of the group had moved on, leaving them alone so the only sounds he could hear now were scurrying animals and the frantic beat of his heart for Quinn.
He cupped her face in his hands and found her mouth easily with his, honing in as if she was a beacon of light guiding him home. This time, instead of pushing him away, she wound her arm around his neck and pulled him closer. He dropped his hands to her waist as she sought him with her tongue and leaned her soft curves against him.
‘Have you seen
this? He’s got really big eyes.’ The sound of Simon’s voice from across the room somewhere broke through the darkness, alerting them to his presence and throwing a bucket of cold water over them.
‘I think that’s a bush baby.’ Matt’s breath was ragged as he fought to regain control so Simon wouldn’t think anything was amiss.
‘We should probably follow the rest on to the next exhibit.’ Quinn was already backing away from him.
‘We’ll talk about this later,’ he whispered, low enough so only she would hear.
‘I’m a mum. I have mum things to do.’ That uncertainty was back in her wavering voice and Matt fumbled for her hand again in the blackness. He didn’t want the guilt to start eating away at her for enjoying a moment of her own.
‘Don’t forget, the adult fun starts after the real dark.’ This wasn’t over and although she couldn’t see him wink, he was sure he sensed her smile.
Somehow they’d find a way to be together without compromising their roles in Simon’s life.
His peace of mind depended on it.
Quinn stumbled back out towards Simon and the rest of the visitors tripping out of the exhibit. Her unsteadiness on her feet was more to do with Matt’s epic bone-melting prowess than the unfamiliar territory. He had a way of completely knocking her off balance when she was least expecting it.
Yes, she’d encouraged him with a few flirtatious gestures, but phew, that had taken hot to a whole new level. Wrapped in his embrace she’d forgotten who she was, where she was or what day of the week it was, and let the chemistry consume her.
Dangerous. Irresponsible. Intoxicating.
It only made her crave more.
If Simon hadn’t reminded them that they weren’t here alone, they could’ve created quite a scene. They were lucky he hadn’t seen anything of their passionate embrace or they would’ve had some explaining to do. Unfortunately, now as she made her way back into the light, the interruption had left her throbbing with unfulfilled need which only Matt could help relieve.
