Sentimental Tommy

by J. M. Barrie

  CHAPTER XII

  A CHILD'S TRAGEDY

  No one in Thrums ever got a word from Aaron Latta about how he spentthose ten days, and Tommy and Elspeth, whom he brought back with him,also tried to be reticent, but some of the women were too clever forthem. Jean and Aaron did not meet again. Her first intimation that hehad come she got from Shovel, who said that a little high-shouldered manin black had been inquiring if she was dead, and was now walking up anddown the street, like one waiting. She sent her children out to him, buthe would not come up. He had answered Tommy roughly, but when Elspethslipped her hand into his, he let it stay there, and he instructed herto tell Jean Myles that he would bury her in the Thrums cemetery andbring up her bairns. Jean managed once to go to the window and look downat him, and by and by he looked up and saw her. They looked long at eachother, and then he turned away his head and began to walk up and downagain.

  At Tilliedrum the coffin was put into a hearse and thus conveyed toMonypenny, Aaron and the two children sitting on the box-seat. Someonesaid, "Jean Myles boasted that when she came back to Thrums it would bein her carriage and pair, and she has kept her word," and the saying isstill preserved in that Bible for week-days of which all little placeshave their unwritten copy, one of the wisest of books, but nearly everytext in it has cost a life.

  About a score of men put on their blacks and followed the hearse fromthe warper's house to the grave. Elspeth wanted to accompany Tommy, butAaron held her back, saying, quietly, "In this part, it's only men thatgo to burials, so you and me maun bide at name," and then she cried, noone understood why, except Tommy. It was because he would see Thrumsfirst; but he whispered to her, "I promise to keep my eyes shut and nolook once," and so faithfully did he keep his promise on the whole thatthe smith held him by the hand most of the way, under the impressionthat he was blind.

  But he had opened his eyes at the grave, when a cord was put into hishand, and then he wept passionately, and on his way back to Monypenny,whether his eyes were open or shut, what he saw was his mother beingshut up in a black hole and trying for ever and ever to get out. He ranto Elspeth for comfort, but in the meantime she had learned fromBlinder's niece that graves are dark and cold, and so he found hersobbing even like himself. Tommy could never bear to see Elspethcrying, and he revealed his true self in his way of drying her tears.

  "It will be so cold in that hole," she sobbed.

  "No," he said, "it's warm."

  "It will be dark."

  "No, it's clear."

  "She would like to get out."

  "No, she was terrible pleased to get in."

  It was characteristic of him that he soon had Elspeth happy by argumentsnot one of which he believed himself; characteristic also that his owngrief was soothed by the sound of them. Aaron, who was in the garretpreparing their bed, had told the children that they must remain indoorsto-day out of respect to their mother's memory (to-morrow morning theycould explore Thrums); but there were many things in that kitchen forthem to look at and exult over. It had no commonplace ceiling, thecouples, or rafters, being covered with the loose flooring of a romanticgarret, and in the rafters were several great hooks, from one of whichhung a ham, and Tommy remembered, with a thrill which he communicated toElspeth, that it is the right of Thrums children to snip off the ham asmuch as they can remove with their finger-nails and roast it on the ribsof the fire. The chief pieces of furniture were a dresser, a cornercupboard with diamond panes, two tables, one of which stood beneath theother, but would have to come out if Aaron tried to bake, and a bedwith a door. These two did not know it, but the room was full ofmemories of Jean Myles. The corner cupboard had been bought by Aaron ata roup because she said she would like to have one; it was she who hadchosen the six cups and saucers with the blue spots on them. Arazor-strop, now hard as iron, hung on a nail on the wall; it had notbeen used since the last time Aaron strutted through the Den with hissweetheart. One day later he had opened the door of the bird-cage, whichstill stood in the window, and let the yellow yite go. Many things werewhere no woman would have left them: clothes on the floor with the nailthey had torn from the wall; on a chair a tin basin, soapy water and aflannel rag in it; horn spoons with whistles at the end of them wereanywhere--on the mantelpiece, beneath the bed; there were drawers thatcould not be opened because their handles were inside. Perhaps thewindows were closed hopelessly also, but this must be left doubtful; noone had ever tried to open them.

  The garret where Tommy and Elspeth were to sleep was reached by a ladderfrom the hallan; when you were near the top of the ladder your head hita trap-door and pushed it open. At one end of the garret was the bed,and at the other end were piled sticks for firewood and curiousdark-colored slabs whose smell the children disliked until Tommy said,excitedly, "Peat!" and then they sniffed reverently.

  It was Tommy, too, who discovered the tree-tops of the Den, and Elspethseeing him gazing in a transport out at the window cried, "What is it,Tommy? Quick!"

  "Promise no to scream," he replied, warningly. "Well, then, ElspethSandys, that's where the Den is!"

  Elspeth blinked with awe, and anon said, wistfully, "Tommy, do you seethat there? That's where the Den is!"

  "It were me what told you," cried Tommy, jealously.

  "But let me tell you, Tommy!"

  "Well, then, you can tell me."

  "That there is the Den, Tommy!"

  "Dagont!"

  Oh, that to-morrow were here! Oh, that Shovel could see these twoto-morrow!

  Here is another splendid game, T. Sandys, inventor. The girl goes intothe bed, the boy shuts the door on her, and imitates the sound of atrain in motion. He opens the door and cries, "Tickets, please." Thegirl says, "What is the name of this place?" The boy replies, "It'sThrums!" There is more to follow, but the only two who have played thegame always roared so joyously at this point that they could get nofarther.

  "Oh, to-morrow, come quick, quick!"

  "Oh, poor Shovel!"

  To-morrow came, and with it two eager little figures rose and gulpedtheir porridge, and set off to see Thrums. They were dressed in theblack clothes Aaron Latta had bought for them in London, and they hadagreed just to walk, but when they reached the door and saw thetree-tops of the Den they--they ran. Would you not like to hold themback? It is a child's tragedy.

  They went first into the Den, and the rocks were dripping wet, all thetrees, save the firs, were bare, and the mud round a tiny spring pulledoff one of Elspeth's boots.

  "Tommy," she cried, quaking, "that narsty puddle can't not be the CuttleWell, can it?"

  "No, it ain't," said Tommy, quickly, but he feared it was.

  "It's c-c-colder here than London," Elspeth said, shivering, and Tommywas shivering too, but he answered, "I'm--I'm--I'm warm."

  The Den was strangely small, and soon they were on a shabby brae wherewomen in short gowns came to their doors and men in night-caps sat downon the shafts of their barrows to look at Jean Myles's bairns.

  "What does yer think?" Elspeth whispered, very doubtfully.

  "They're beauties," Tommy answered, determinedly.

  Presently Elspeth cried, "Oh, Tommy, what a ugly stair! Where is thebeauty stairs as is wore outside for show?"

  This was one of them and Tommy knew it. "Wait till you see the westtown end," he said bravely; "it's grand." But when they were in the westtown end, and he had to admit it, "Wait till you see the square," hesaid, and when they were in the square, "Wait," he said, huskily, "tillyou see the town-house." Alas, this was the town-house facing them, andwhen they knew it, he said hurriedly, "Wait till you see the Auld LichtKirk."

  They stood long in front of the Auld Licht Kirk, which he had sworn wasbigger and lovelier than St. Paul's, but--well, it is a different styleof architecture, and had Elspeth not been there with tears in waiting,Tommy would have blubbered. "It's--it's littler than I thought," he saiddesperately, "but--the minister, oh, what a wonderful big man he is!"

  "Are you sure?" Elspeth squeaked.

 
"I swear he is."

  The church door opened and a gentleman came out, a little man, boyish inthe back, with the eager face of those who live too quickly. But it wasnot at him that Tommy pointed reassuringly; it was at the monster churchkey, half of which protruded from his tail pocket and waggled like thehilt of a sword.

  Speaking like an old residenter, Tommy explained that he had brought hissister to see the church, "She's ta'en aback," he said, picking outScotch words carefully, "because it's littler than the London kirks,but I telled her--I telled her that the preaching is better."

  This seemed to please the stranger, for he patted Tommy on the headwhile inquiring, "How do you know that the preaching is better?"

  "Tell him, Elspeth," replied Tommy modestly.

  "There ain't nuthin' as Tommy don't know," Elspeth explained. "He knowswhat the minister is like too."

  "He's a noble sight," said Tommy.

  "He can get anything from God he likes," said Elspeth.

  "He's a terrible big man," said Tommy.

  This seemed to please the little gentleman less. "Big!" he exclaimed,irritably; "why should he be big?"

  "He is big," Elspeth almost screamed, for the minister was her lasthope.

  "Nonsense!" said the little gentleman. "He is--well, I am the minister."

  "You!" roared Tommy, wrathfully.

  "Oh, oh, oh!" sobbed Elspeth.

  For a moment the Rev. Mr. Dishart looked as if he would like to knocktwo little heads together, but he walked away without doing it.

  "Never mind," Tommy whispered hoarsely to Elspeth. "Never mind, Elspeth,you have me yet."

  This consolation seldom failed to gladden her, but her disappointmentwas so sharp to-day that she would not even look up.

  "Come away to the cemetery, it's grand," he said; but still she wouldnot be comforted.

  "And I'll let you hold my hand--as soon as we're past the houses," headded.

  "I'll let you hold it now," he said eventually; but even then Elspethcried dismally, and her sobs were hurting him more than her.

  He knew all the ways of getting round Elspeth, and when next he spoke itwas with a sorrowful dignity. "I didna think," he said, "as yer wantedme never to be able to speak again; no, I didna think it, Elspeth."

  She took her hands from her face and looked at him inquiringly.

  "One of the stories mamma telled me and Reddy," he said, "were about aman what saw such a beauty thing that he was struck dumb withadmiration. Struck dumb is never to be able to speak again, and I wish Ihad been struck dumb when you wanted it."

  "But I didn't want it!" Elspeth cried.

  "If Thrums had been one little bit beautier than it is," he went onsolemnly, "it would have struck me dumb. It would have hurt me sore, butwhat about that, if it pleased you!"

  Then did Elspeth see what a wicked girl she had been, and when next thetwo were observed by the curious (it was on the cemetery road), theywere once more looking cheerful. At the smallest provocation theyexchanged notes of admiration, such as, "Oh, Tommy, what a bonnybarrel!" or "Oh, Elspeth, I tell yer that's a dyke, and there's justwalls in London," but sometimes Elspeth would stoop hastily, pretendingthat she wanted to tie her bootlace, but really to brush away a tear,and there were moments when Tommy hung very limp. Each was trying todeceive the other for the other's sake, and one of them was never goodat deception. They saw through each other, yet kept up the chilly game,because they could think of nothing better, and perhaps the game wasworth playing, for love invented it.

  They sat down on their mother's grave. No stone was ever erected to thememory of Jean Myles, but it is enough for her that she lies at home.That comfort will last her to the Judgment Day.

  The man who had dug the grave sent them away, and they wandered to thehill, and thence down the Roods, where there were so many outside stairsnot put there for show that it was well Elspeth remembered howsusceptible Tommy was to being struck dumb. For her sake he said,"They're bonny," and for his sake she replied, "I'm glad they ain'tbonnier."

  When within one turn of Monypenny they came suddenly upon some boysplaying at capey-dykey, a game with marbles that is only known inThrums. There are thirty-five ways of playing marbles, but this is thebest way, and Elspeth knew that Tommy was hungering to look on, butwithout her, lest he should be accused of sweethearting. So she offeredto remain in the background.

  Was she sure she shouldn't mind?

  She said falteringly that of course she would mind a little, but--

  Then Tommy was irritated, and said he knew she would mind, but if shejust pretended she didn't mind, he could leave her without feeling thathe was mean.

  So Elspeth affected not to mind, and then he deserted her, conscience atrest, which was his nature. But he should have remained with her. Theplayers only gave him the side of their eye, and a horrid fear grew onhim that they did not know he was a Thrums boy. "Dagont!" he cried toput them right on that point, but though they paused in their game, itwas only to laugh at him uproariously. Let the historian use an oath foronce; dagont, Tommy had said the swear in the wrong place!

  How fond he had been of that word! Many a time he had fired it in theface of Londoners, and the flash had often blinded them and always him.Now he had brought it home, and Thrums would have none of it; it was asif these boys were jeering at their own flag. He tottered away from themuntil he came to a trance, or passage, where he put his face to the walland forgot even Elspeth.

  He had not noticed a girl pass the mouth of the trance, trying not verysuccessfully to conceal a brandy-bottle beneath her pinafore, butpresently he heard shouts, and looking out he saw Grizel, the PaintedLady's child, in the hands of her tormentors. She was unknown to him, ofcourse, but she hit back so courageously that he watched her withinterest, until--until suddenly he retreated farther into the trance. Hehad seen Elspeth go on her knees, obviously to ask God to stay the handsand tongues of these cruel boys.

  Elspeth had disgraced him, he felt. He was done with her forever. Ifthey struck her, serve her right.

  Struck her! Struck little Elspeth! His imagination painted the picturewith one sweep of its brush. Take care, you boys, Tommy is scuddingback.

  They had not molested Elspeth as yet. When they saw and heard herpraying, they had bent forward, agape, as if struck suddenly in thestomach. Then one of them, Francie Crabb, the golden-haired son ofEsther Auld, recovered and began to knead Grizel's back with his fists,less in viciousness than to show that the prayer was futile. Into thisscene sprang Tommy, and he thought that Elspeth was the kneaded one. Hadhe taken time to reflect he would probably have used the Thrums feint,and then in with a left-hander, which is not very efficacious in its owncountry; but being in a hurry he let out with Shovel's favorite, anddown went Francie Crabb.

  "Would you!" said Tommy, threatening, when Francie attempted to rise.

  He saw now that Elspeth was untouched, that he had rescued an unknowngirl, and it cannot be pretended of him that he was the boy to squireall ladies in distress. In ordinary circumstances he might have leftGrizel to her fate, but having struck for her, he felt that he wouldlike to go on striking. He had also the day's disappointments to avenge.It is startling to reflect that the little minister's height, forinstance, put an extra kick in him.

  So he stood stridelegs over Francie, who whimpered, "I wouldna havestruck this one if that one hadna prayed for me. It wasna likely I wouldstand that."

  "You shall stand it," replied Tommy, and turning to Elspeth, who hadrisen from her knees, he said: "Pray away, Elspeth."

  Elspeth refused, feeling that there would be something wrong in prayingfrom triumph, and Tommy, about to be very angry with her, had a gloriousinspiration. "Pray for yourself," he said to Francie, "and do it outloud."

  The other boys saw that a novelty promised, and now Francie need expectno aid from them. At first he refused to pray, but he succumbed whenTommy had explained the consequences, and illustrated them.

  Tommy dictated: "Oh, God, I am a sinner. Go on."

/>   Francie not only said it, but looked it.

  "And I pray to you to repent me, though I ain't worthy," continuedTommy.

  "And I pray to you to repent me, though I ain't worthy," growledFrancie. (It was the arrival of ain't in Thrums.)

  Tommy considered, and then: "I thank Thee, O God," he said, "for tellingthis girl--this lassie--to pray for me."

  Two gentle taps helped to knock this out of Francie.

  Being an artist, Tommy had kept his best for the end (and made it upfirst). "And lastly," he said, "I thank this boy for thrashing me--Imean this here laddie. Oh, may he allus be near to thrash me when Istrike this other lassie again. Amen."

  When it was all over Tommy looked around triumphantly, and though heliked the expression on several faces, Grizel's pleased him best. "Itain't no wonder you would like to be me, lassie!" he said, in anecstasy.

  "I don't want to be you, you conceited boy," retorted the Painted Lady'schild hotly, and her heat was the greater because the clever littlewretch had read her thoughts aright. But it was her sweet voice thatsurprised him.

  "You're English!" he cried.

  "So are you," broke in a boy offensively, and then Tommy said to Grizelloftily, "Run away; I'll not let none on them touch you."

  "I am not afraid of them," she rejoined, with scorn, "and I shall notlet you help me, and I won't run." And run she did not; she walked offleisurely with her head in the air, and her dignity was beautiful,except once when she made the mistake of turning round to put out hertongue.

  But, alas! in the end someone ran. If only they had not called him"English." In vain he fired a volley of Scotch; they pretended not tounderstand it. Then he screamed that he and Shovel could fight the lotof them. Who was Shovel? they asked derisively. He replied that Shovelwas a bloke who could lick any two of them--and with one hand tiedbehind his back.

  No sooner had he made this proud boast than he went white, and soon twodisgraceful tears rolled down his cheeks. The boys saw that for somereason unknown his courage was gone, and even Francie Crabb began toturn up his sleeves and spit upon his hands.

  Elspeth was as bewildered as the others, but she slipped her hand intohis and away they ran ingloriously, the foe too much astounded to jeer.She sought to comfort him by saying (and it brought her a step nearerwomanhood), "You wasn't feared for yourself, you wasn't; you was justfeared they would hurt me."

  But Tommy sobbed in reply, "That ain't it. I bounced so much about theThrums folk to Shovel, and now the first day I'm here I heard myselfbouncing about Shovel to Thrums folk, and it were that what made mecry. Oh, Elspeth, it's--it's not the same what I thought it would be!"

  Nor was it the same to Elspeth, so they sat down by the roadside andcried with their arms round each other, and any passer-by could look whohad the heart. But when night came, and they were in their garret bed,Tommy was once more seeking to comfort Elspeth with arguments hedisbelieved, and again he succeeded. As usual, too, the make-believemade him happy also.

  "Have you forgot," he whispered, "that my mother said as she would comeand see us every night in our bed? If yer cries, she'll see as we'reterrible unhappy, and that will make her unhappy too."

  "Oh, Tommy, is she here now?"

  "Whisht! She's here, but they don't like living ones to let on as theyknows it."

  Elspeth kept closer to Tommy, and with their heads beneath the blankets,so as to stifle the sound, he explained to her how they could cheattheir mother. When she understood, he took the blankets off their facesand said in the darkness in a loud voice:

  "It's a grand place, Thrums!"

  Elspeth replied in a similar voice, "Ain't the town-house just big!"

  Said Tommy, almost chuckling, "Oh, the bonny, bonny Auld Licht Kirk!"

  Said Elspeth, "Oh, the beauty outside stairs!"

  Said Tommy, "The minister is so long!"

  Said Elspeth, "The folk is so kind!"

  Said Tommy, "Especially the laddies!"

  "Oh, I is so happy!" cried Elspeth.

  "Me too!" cried Tommy.

  "My mother would be so chirpy if she could jest see us!" Elspeth said,quite archly.

  "But she canna!" replied Tommy, slyly pinching Elspeth in the rib.

  Then they dived beneath the blankets, and the whispering was resumed.

  "Did she hear, does yer think?" asked Elspeth.

  "Every word," Tommy replied. "Elspeth, we've done her!"