The Newcomer (Thunder Point)

by Robyn Carr

  “Sure. Good luck.”

  Lou started to leave. She turned back, looked at her watch and said, “Next time we can go more than an hour on the truce. If you can behave yourself.”

  *

  Mac checked on his kids, all tucked into their individual bedrooms, starting with Dee Dee. “Doing okay?” he asked her.

  She nodded. “Do you think she’s coming back?”

  “I don’t know, honey. Do you want her to?”

  She shrugged. “It’s okay. But she has to let Aunt Lou be here because Aunt Lou lives here.”

  He smiled. Can’t get anything past kids. “I’ll be sure to pass that on if I’m ever asked.”

  “Can I watch TV? For a half hour?”

  “Homework done?” She nodded again. “Okay, then.”

  He went to Ryan’s door and opened it. Ryan was laying on his bed, his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. “How are you doing, Ryan?” Mac asked.

  Ryan sat up. “Why’d she come here again?”

  “To see you, she said. To see all three of you. And for you to see her, since you haven’t seen her in a long time.”

  “Are we done with seeing her now?” he asked.

  “I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out if she calls again.”

  “Probably in ten years,” Ryan said. “Can I get on the computer?”

  “Homework done?”

  “I did it at school. Can I?”

  “Okay. Let’s not talk about this visit on Facebook or anything. Family business, right?”

  “I don’t want to tell about it,” Ryan said. “It’s too weird.”

  Finally, he approached his eldest daughter’s room knowing this discussion would be a lot more complicated than the ones he’d just had. He gave two knocks on Eve’s bedroom door and then entered without an invitation. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, her phone in her hands, texting. There was no question in his mind, she would be checking in with both Ashley and Landon. She looked up at him and he could tell all the wind had gone out of her sails.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” she said with a shrug. “Are you?”

  “I hated that,” he said. “Hated watching that.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He sat on the edge of her bed. “I’m not mad at you, Eve. It was so uncomfortable. Something tells me your mother really wants a relationship with you kids. And I’m terrified.”

  “Why? Because she’s lying?”

  “I don’t know if she’s lying. I think our perspectives are completely different, as they are between divorced couples. She really believes I failed her. I really believe I did everything I could. How do you change that? The only thing I really want you to know—it was never your fault. Maybe mine, maybe hers, but never yours.”

  “I know,” she said weakly. “But I don’t care whose fault it was! I just want to know how you can love your children and not even send a birthday card!”

  “Maybe no one ever sent her one when she was a kid,” he said. “I don’t know too much about your mother’s childhood—she was in a foster home when I met her in high school. I never questioned that experience back then—seventeen-year-old boys usually don’t ask those kinds of questions. Maybe she was ignored, maybe she had a real bad time growing up or something. A lot of the way we act as adults has to do with how we were treated as children. I might’ve had no idea what I was getting myself into, married at nineteen, but I know that once you arrived, you were like the center of my world. You and your brother and sister were always wanted. I wish I could fix it so you don’t have any pain over this—you’re innocent.”

  A tear rolled down her cheek. “I don’t want to be like her—I don’t want to run out on my children.”

  “Then you won’t. Listen, I know it’s not easy, but I think you have to just accept people as they are. That’s the best Cee Jay’s got, Eve. You don’t have to spend time with her unless you want to, but you also don’t have to carry her burdens. She’s the one who wasn’t here for ten years, no one pushed her away.”

  “I know.”

  “But it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you.”

  “I know. It’s just hard.”

  “It is that,” he said. “Hard for everyone, I think.”

  “I don’t want to spend time with her. But I wouldn’t mind if she sent a birthday card or something.”

  “If she ever asks, I’ll tell her,” he said.

  “And I might let her take me shopping some time,” she said, smiling sheepishly.

  Mac laughed. “She should probably take us all shopping.”

  Eve shook her head. “I was kidding, you know.”

  “I know,” he said with a smile. “Have I told you lately how proud you make me?”

  “But I was rude,” she said. “You asked me to just be polite and I was rude. And I knew it.”

  He squeezed her hand. “You can work on that, but I’m not mad. What have I always told you? We all have our personal boundaries. You have your boundaries and I understand that. It always works best if you defend your boundaries by being firm but without losing your temper, but hey—sometimes if we feel threatened, we lash out.”

  “You think I was feeling threatened?”

  He lifted an eyebrow. “Do you think you were?”

  She thought for a while. “I don’t want her coming around acting like she always missed us because if she missed us, she would have let us know that before now. I don’t like it when someone just lies in my face and acts like it’s the truth. She did not miss us. She came back, but she didn’t tell the truth about why. I guess that’s my boundary. The truth.”

  “Possibly we just don’t have the whole story,” he suggested.

  “Then that’s my other boundary. The whole story. Don’t just come around acting like it was all a little mistake and hey, we’re all over it now, so let’s party. That isn’t going to cut it.”

  He tried not to smile. One corner of his mouth lifted. “Like I said, we all have our boundaries. They’re personal and they’re ours. I respect that.”

  “What about your boundaries?” she persisted.

  “Well, my personal boundaries are my business but, in this case, I had to think about the whole family, about all of us, and I did the best I could to be fair about that.”

  “You were fair,” she acknowledged. “I should call Ashley. She’s dying to hear about it.”

  He stood up. That was his cue to give her some privacy to do an emotional postmortem with her best friend. “If you need to talk about this anymore…”

  “I’m fine, Dad. Sorry I was rude.”

  Eleven

  For the first time since Sarah had known Cooper, his temperament was unreadable. He came back from San Antonio in a very quiet, distracted mood. He was so happy to see her, so grateful for her help in the bar while he was away, yet nothing she could say would get his disposition to brighten.

  “It must have been so hard seeing Bridget like that,” Sarah said.

  “It was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. Her family had a tough time letting her go. I hope to never see anything that sad again.”

  “I think you brought a lot of that sadness home with you,” she said.

  And he pulled her close, kissed her temple and said, “I’m sorry, baby. I don’t want to burden you. We have a lot to be thankful for.”

  He wasn’t done with it, apparently. Maybe he just needed a little time to process it all. Sarah was happy to have a full week of work to occupy her and keep her from worrying about Cooper every second of the day. By the following weekend, when they had a little more time together, she decided to pursue the subject again. They sat out on his deck under a very starry sky and bright moon, watching over a couple of fires on the beach, listening to the waves break on the shore. He had his evening beer, she had her wine. There were a couple of other people on the deck, also enjoying the spring evening, so they were mostly alone. At least alone enough to have a private c
onversation. “Did you ever figure out why Bridget wanted you to come to San Antonio?”

  Again he pulled her closer as he did every time the subject came up, as if afraid she might slip away from him. “There were a lot of reasons—lots of talk about the past, making sure I never for a moment thought she was less than honest with me. But while it probably relieved her and allowed her to move on, it did something bigger for me. I failed her, Sarah. I was a poor excuse for a fiancé. I was a disappointment as a boyfriend. I wanted to marry her without making any real compromises in my own life. I was leaving the country for weeks at a time, and all she wanted from me was my promise to find a more stable lifestyle.”

  Sarah felt a lump in her throat. “Lots of regrets, huh?”

  “Lots, but let’s see if I can explain—it’s better for both of us that it didn’t work out. She married a good man and I’m so happy with you, here, now. This is the way it should be. But, damn, I don’t ever want to be that kind of disappointment to anyone again. If I thought I let you down like that, it would just kill me. The whole thing—it’s made me think real hard about the man I want to be.”

  “I want to ask you something. Try to be honest, okay?”

  “I always tell you the truth. Not something I’ve always done, but always with you.”

  “You were engaged twice. Was the other woman before or after Bridget?”

  “After. And it might’ve been a rebound thing—it was Patti, and I was never so relieved as when it didn’t work out.”

  Sarah turned in her chair, facing him. “I can’t wait to hear this.”

  He chuckled softly. “Try not to be too amused,” Cooper said. “I was dating Patti. Same drill. I was the runaway boyfriend—in the States for a few weeks, away for long stretches, expecting the woman of the moment to be so thrilled by my occasional presence that she’d never think of asking more from me.”

  Sarah just shook her head and snickered. “You were such a dog. I’ve known a hundred guys just like you.”

  “Yeah, not really flattering to know I’m just another brute. Inconsiderate and self-absorbed. So, I was dating Patti and ran into, guess who? Bridget. At the grocery store, of all places. I hardly ever went to the grocery store. She was picking through tomatoes or something and she looked…” He just shook his head in wonder. “She looked amazing. Happier than I’d ever seen her. She had a rosy-cheeked one-year-old in her shopping cart and she was making him giggle. When she saw me, she gasped and laughed and threw her arms around me and said it was so good to see me. I knew she was married but I have to tell you, Sarah, the way I saw her that day? She was never that happy with me. We talked for about five minutes—she married a teacher, had a nice little house not far from her mom and dad, hoped to fill it up with kids. She asked me about how I was doing…I was doing the same thing. She had grown a family and I had grown a little savings account—contract labor outsourced by the Army was good money.”

  “And that was when you wanted her back?” Sarah asked.

  “I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t remember feeling that way. What I remember was thinking I hadn’t been as smart as I thought I was. So, right after that I asked Patti to marry me and she was thrilled. What is it about women and the capture, huh? What did she have to be thrilled about? In two weeks I knew it was a mistake and we broke up. That’s all there is to the Patti/Cooper story. I think I was trying to reach back in time—I think I felt like I’d been an idiot. A fool. I packed up and left San Antonio, went to the Gulf coast, got a job for an oil company flying equipment and people to off shore rigs. Right then I made a decision to live alone for the rest of my life.” He squeezed her shoulders and grinned. “Until you came along.”

  “You grieve her,” Sarah said. “You grieve Bridget and the life you might’ve had together.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think it’s that simple, babe. I grieve the foolishness of my youth. But I’m grateful for all the things that happened, even the stupid things. I want to be here with you now and if I’d been smarter back then, this wouldn’t have happened. So, I’m sorry I was an idiot and grateful I was an idiot? Does that make any sense?”

  Derek Stiles, Sarah’s ex-husband, instantly came to her mind. She had so wanted her marriage to work but now she was so grateful things had gone the way they had, allowing her to be here with Cooper. “I think I understand, Cooper. I’m just sorry you’re so sad.”

  “She left a husband and young son,” he said. “That just shouldn’t happen.”

  “It happens all the time,” she said. “It happened to Landon.”

  “I think about that all the time,” Cooper said. “I know I can’t ever be a father to Landon. But you know what, Sarah? If something terrible happened tomorrow and Landon was left alone, I want you to know—I’d never abandon him. Never.” Then he laughed at himself. “I’d be his shadow. I’d stick with him.”

  *

  Cooper got better over the next week. He might’ve been a little bit quiet, but he was lightening up. And then the following weekend, she could tell something had changed. He was as morose and preoccupied as he’d been that first day he had returned from Texas.

  Sarah went out on the bay on her board while he had customers in the bar and planned what she was going to say to Cooper, because this had to be resolved. Later that day she didn’t say anything and tried to ignore his mood until it was late enough for them to be alone. Sarah was sure that Bridget’s death had opened his eyes—he must know in his heart that he’d been in love with her and was sorry he’d let her go.

  When the last four people from town were walking back down the beach she said, “Let’s get it over with. I want to know what’s going on with you. And I want it all, right now.”

  He just stared at her for a second, shocked. Speechless.

  “I know it has to do with me,” she said. “Just get it out. Stop with all this ‘I love you so much’ stuff and tell me the truth. What’s eating you?”

  He smiled slightly. “I was going to tell you tonight. I’m sorry you had to wait,” he said. “Come here.” He put out his hand and led her inside.

  Once they were in the shop and there was sufficient light, he pulled out his cell phone and scrolled through the pictures, handing it to her.

  “Bridget wanted to tell me before she died that I have a son. She didn’t realize Austin was mine—it was an honest mistake that came to light when her whole extended family, including Austin, had blood tests to try to find a match for a bone marrow transplant. It revealed that Austin and Spencer, Bridget’s husband, weren’t a match. I had a DNA test while I was in Texas and was waiting for confirmation. The letter came yesterday afternoon. I’m a match. I wanted us to have some time to talk it over once I knew for sure.”

  She looked at the face of an adorable little boy. Then she looked at Cooper. “Oh, God,” she said. “You feel like you lost your love of a lifetime!”

  “No, Sarah. I feel like I have a son. I feel like I have more responsibility. To you, to Landon, to Austin, even a little bit to Spencer. Bridget asked me not to take Austin away from the only father he’s had and, of course, I agreed to that. But I have to find a way to get to know him. I have to be a father, even if I’m not a full-time father. I have absolutely no idea how that’s done.” He took a breath. “Baby, how the hell did you do it? Take on Landon when you were just a kid yourself? How did you do such a great job at that?”

  Her eyes welled with tears. “And that’s what’s been beating you up?”

  “Isn’t that a lot?” he asked. “I have a kid, Sarah. I have a family. It might be a part-time job, but Jesus. What if Bridget and I had known back then? What if we’d gotten married? I think Austin is lucky it worked out like it did. But I have no idea what to do next.”

  Sarah wiped the tears from her cheeks. “You have a family,” she said.

  “I know and it all feels kinda heavy for a guy like me. Am I going to get used to this?” he asked her.

  “He has to come first,”
she said. “Even if he has a good father already, you have to put your son first. He’s your first priority. That’s how it’s done.”

  And that, Sarah thought, is going to make it even harder for us to be first to each other.

  *

  Mac hadn’t seen Cooper in a couple of weeks. He’d dropped into the beach bar one evening on his way home from work to discover that Cooper was away—some kind of family emergency that Rawley said Cooper would explain later. Mac left the bar thinking he would catch up with his friend eventually.

  More than a week later Cooper walked into the deputy’s office.

  “Break time?” Cooper asked.

  “I’ll be damned,” Mac said. “I thought you’d made good on your threats and just sold the bar and land and left us.”

  “Nah, I had business out of town. I wasn’t gone that long.”

  Mac rubbed his neck, leaning back in his desk chair. “Right, but then I had a busy week and it seemed like you’d been gone forever. Well, good to see you. I heard there was some kind of emergency.”

  “Yes and no. It turned out that my ex-fiancée’s husband was looking for me. She had cancer. Terminal. Time was short. I didn’t have much notice.”

  “I’m sorry, man.”

  “I didn’t know she was sick. By the time I saw her she was ready to go, just had a few loose ends and goodbyes to wrap up and then, thank God, she could just let go. It was hopeless and she was…man, she was suffering. I was one of her loose ends.” He looked down and shook his head solemnly. “I’ll be honest—that really screwed up my head for a while. Poor Sarah. She had to try to figure me out. I think she should’ve just slapped me a few times.”

  “You okay?” Mac asked.

  “Yeah, I’m fine now. But here’s the thing—you might be hearing from her husband and I wanted to give you a heads-up. The guy’s name is Spencer Lawson and I suggested he call you. I suggested he do a complete background search on me and that you are a personal reference, but one with a real professional expertise.” At the puzzled look on Mac’s face Cooper got right to the point. “I just got confirmation—lab work confirmation—but it was just a formality. It seems I have a son. And none of us knew.”