The Family You Choose

by Deborah Nam-Krane

"Nothing," she lied.

  He kissed her again. "How was Zainab?"

  "Very well. Look, she gave me this." She handed him the photo album. His sullen younger face contrasted with her effusive smile on almost every page. He laughed at himself. She smiled. He’d never done that before.

  She was lying in his arms later that night, absently kissing his neck. "Miranda?"

  "Yes, dear?"

  "You know, lies never do anything good for a marriage, especially this early on."

  She sighed and rested her head on his chest. "There’s no point. There’s nothing you can do, and I think it would make you feel worse than I do."

  "I know that I’ve made things more difficult for you, and marrying me probably made it messier. I’m sorry. I probably can’t fix it, but I can listen."

  "You know what it is already," she whispered. "I miss Emily. I miss Jessie. We were all together right after Emily and Mitch got married. Mitch was kind of a jerk—you know why—but it was still good. We were all happy for them." She sobbed. He closed his eyes and stroked her back. "I don’t know if anyone’s going to be happy for us like that, and it just makes me sad."

  He rolled them both onto their sides. She could see that he had tears in his eyes too. "You know I’d do anything to fix this for you, right?"

  She smiled. She loved him more and more with every tender gesture. "I know," she whispered. "That’s why I didn’t want to tell you. There isn’t anything you can do."

  "If you have to choose," he said, "I’ll understand if you choose them."

  His dark eyes were so earnest. She shook her head. "I already chose you," she whispered. Then she kissed him. "And I choose you again."

  CHAPTER 40

  Richard and Zainab arrived the next night right after the bakery delivered a small, tiered white cake. Zainab kissed Michael on the cheek and hugged Miranda. Richard hugged Michael and Miranda. "You two are happy?"

  "Ecstatic," Miranda said, gazing at her husband.

  "Transformed," Michael whispered, touching Miranda’s cheek.

  Michael made another very nice cut of beef for dinner. Zainab was genuinely impressed. "Where did you and Michael learn how to cook?" Zainab asked Richard as they sipped some red wine.

  "It must have been that summer on the Cape," Richard said after a moment.

  Michael smiled. "Yes. If I remember correctly, your dad and my mom left us while they ran an errand, and we were alone much longer than we were supposed to be."

  Richard nodded. "Right! And I thought I’d cook, but Michael insisted on making the hamburgers. I seem to recall that the burgers were either very well done or very rare, but at least we didn’t starve."

  Michael laughed, and Miranda felt like her heart might leap out her throat. It was so nice to see Michael share happy memories. "You never cooked for me," she said teasingly, throwing her napkin at him.

  "I might have tried to poison you if I had," Michael said with a wink. "In fact, how do you know I haven’t been? Maybe that would explain certain things."

  "You’ll notice I haven’t eaten too much of what you’ve cooked yet."

  "Right—mostly apples and cereal," he whispered as he got up to clear the dishes. She blushed as Richard and Zainab snickered.

  Miranda and Michael fed each other a piece of the cake and shared some with Zainab and Richard. Zainab insisted on putting the small top tier in the freezer. "So you can have it for your first anniversary."

  "I think we need to make it to a week, first," Michael laughed.

  "Any doubts?" Richard asked.

  Miranda squeezed Michael’s hand. "We’ll be eating some on our tenth anniversary."

  After coffee, Richard handed Michael an envelope. "Congratulations guys," he said quietly. "Here’s something I think you should have now."

  Michael opened the envelope. Miranda saw the contents—a document. Michael looked it over and looked up at Richard. "Is this what I think it is?"

  "It is," Richard said simply. "And it’s time you had it."

  "Are you going to share with the rest of the class?" Miranda asked playfully.

  "It’s a will," Michael said absently. "It’s our grandfather’s will." He looked up. "It’s giving me half of his estate."

  "Oh!" Miranda said, turning to Richard. "That’s some wedding present!"

  "I thought it might be time anyway."

  Michael looked over the document. "It’s actually a little past time. Shouldn’t I have gotten this a few months ago, when I turned twenty-five?"

  "Technically," Richard nodded slowly. "But I thought...it might not hurt to let the interest accumulate for a few more months."

  "You didn’t trust me," Michael said simply. Then he shrugged. "Might not have been a bad call."

  "So what are we talking about?"

  Richard made a rough calculation. Zainab’s jaw dropped to the floor. Miranda sat back in surprise. "Are you serious?" Michael said. "Are you sure?"

  "Roughly speaking, yes. Grandpa Hendrickson was pretty conservative with his money. Microsoft would have been too high-concept for him, but fortunately the IBM stock has split sufficiently in that time to make up for it, and then some."

  "How come I’m just finding out about this now? Did—?"

  "Alex had nothing to do with this. This went through my dad, then my mother, then me as soon as I was old enough."

  Michael looked at the papers, but he wasn’t seeing them. "I wish I’d known someone was thinking of me." He smiled. "Thank you, Richard."

  "That’s what family is for."

  Richard and Zainab left an hour later. Michael flopped onto the couch, dazed.

  "So I guess if I ever come into some money I should hide it for a really long time, huh?" Miranda said after she finished doing the dishes.

  "You...will never have to do dishes again," Michael said, patting her hands.

  "Really? Because I thought I did a pretty good job of avoiding them by not eating that much."

  "And...you don’t have to work."

  "Well, that’s going to be a relief, because the last two weeks have been killing me."

  "I don’t have to work."

  Miranda laughed. "Maybe you should wait for your accounts to clear before you turn in your resignation." She sat on his lap. "I’m so glad there is something else that makes you happy. Now I know that if anything ever happens to me, you’ll be very happy alone with all your money."

  He stood up, with her legs still wrapped around him, and leaned her into the wall. "Tell me something, have you ever made love to a very wealthy man?"

  She thought for a moment. "I don’t think so. Is it any different than making love to a sort of wealthy man?"

  "Let’s find out.

  CHAPTER 41

  Miranda should have been happy the next day. It had been wonderful to see Richard and Zainab, and the money was a very nice surprise. But Miranda wasn’t happy; there were at least two other people she would have liked to have shared her news with. Jessie, still, had to be handled carefully. Richard would let her know when it was okay. Emily was another matter.

  On Thursday afternoon, she called Emily’s. "Miranda! Hey stranger, what’s going on?"

  Emily sounded so weak. "Are you alright?"

  "Um, yeah, I guess...we have a little catching up to do."

  Miranda laughed a little. "Yeah, I think so. What are you doing tomorrow?"

  "Screw that," Emily said. "What are you doing tonight?"

  They arranged to meet at five at Princess Cappuccino. Michael wouldn’t be home from work for another two hours, but that’s not what Miranda told Emily.

  Miranda was aghast when she saw Emily drawn and pale. "Emily, are you okay?" She hugged her, and she felt frail and bony. "What’s wrong?"

  Emily smiled. She looked even more tired. No easy way to say it. "I’m pregnant, Miranda. Just about six or seven weeks."

  Miranda’s jaw dropped. "Oh my God! Why didn’t you tell me?"

  "I was going to, but—" She took a deep breath. He
r skin looked so drawn. "I got really sick right before I was supposed to come over to you. I’m so sorry. I hope you weren’t too worried."

  "No, no," Miranda stammered. "It’s okay. But—are you better now?"

  Emily grimaced. "I’m not in danger of passing out, but I’m not exactly one-hundred percent yet. I guess that’s okay, because I don’t even remember what that feels like anymore." Miranda bit her lip. It seemed like someone had sucked the life out of Emily. "But, um…" Emily took another deep breath. "Zainab told me a little about what happened with Alex. Honey, I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you. What happened? Are you okay?"

  Inexplicably, Miranda felt tears come to her eyes. She wiped them away, and Emily put her hand on hers. Miranda teared up even more. "Alex—lied to me about my whole life. My whole damn life. And my mother too." She shrugged. "Everyone had Alex’s number way before I did. Everyone knew what a scheming bastard he was. Even I knew. I just never thought..." She cried a little bit more, glad Michael wasn’t here to see this.

  "I’m sorry sweetie," Emily said, and she sounded like she got a little stronger with her words. "But it’s over now. You’ve got me and Zainab, and Richard. And Jessie’s getting better, right? And now Alex is out of your life, and as a bonus, so is that freak Michael. See, it’s all good."

  "Oh, Em!" Miranda buried her face in her hands and shook as she cried.

  Emily reached over awkwardly to stroke Miranda’s arm. "It’s going to be okay, I promise. It’s all better now."

  Miranda looked up at Emily miserably. She wished she could not tell her, but she had to. "Emily, Michael isn’t out of my life. And he isn’t going to be." Emily kept her hand on Miranda’s arm, but she looked confused. "Michael and I got married. Michael is my husband."

  Emily let her hand drop. "What did you say?"

  "I married Michael this weekend. I married Michael." She blinked. "I love Michael."

  Emily started gripping her fingers. Miranda knew she was remembering what Michael did. "You saw what he did." Emily whispered. "You cried. You told me you couldn’t turn him in because of Alex. You told me you couldn’t even turn him over Jessie." Emily took a deep breath and shook her head. "And you hated him. He made you cry. He took things away from you. Your friend Sophie." Miranda closed her eyes. "You didn’t marry him."

  Miranda opened her eyes. "I did marry him. I know everything he did. And I’m sorry for it all. He’s changed. He’s not the same person. He wouldn’t touch you again."

  "Really?" Emily whispered. "You’re sure? How are you sure, exactly? What did he do? Is he in therapy? Is he on medication? When did he see the light, Miranda?"

  Miranda shrugged helplessly. "It’s me. I’m sure because he loves me."

  Emily blinked, and then laughed. "He loves you? You love him? Since when?"

  "He’s always loved me," Miranda said. It made perfect sense to her now. Why couldn’t it make sense to everyone else?

  Emily looked pale again. "And you love him? Since when?"

  "Because he’s the one who told me the truth. Because he’s the one…" She bit her lip, knowing it wouldn’t make any sense. "He’s the one who takes all the sadness away. He’s the one who makes everything good." She smiled. "Better than I ever thought."

  "You loved Alex two weeks ago."

  "I was a fool."

  "And suddenly you stopped being one?"

  Miranda’s lip trembled. "I’m not you. How long did it take for you to decide that Mitch was worth loving? How many hoops did you make him hop through before you’d decided that he deserved to be loved?"

  "Did you make Michael jump through any?"

  "Alex gave him a concussion, does that satisfy you?"

  Emily shook her head, tears in her eyes. "No. Not until he’d never hurt anyone again."

  "What would I have to do? What would he have to do?"

  "You don’t understand. You can’t change that. Those people don’t get better."

  "Don’t say that."

  "Maybe it’s okay for you. Maybe even me someday. But not…" Emily couldn’t finish her sentence, but Miranda understood. "I can’t take risks for other people. Not the ones that I’m supposed to protect." Miranda looked down at the table as Emily stood up. "I hope I’m wrong. For your sake."

  Miranda cried for an hour that night, unable to get out a full sentence when Michael asked her what had happened. Finally, she was too exhausted even to cry, and she fell asleep in his arms. The last thing she heard was that he loved her.

  CHAPTER 42

  The Hendrickson money cleared three weeks later, and it was even more than Richard had guessed. Michael had wanted to quit his job immediately, but he finally agreed with Miranda to wait until he could figure out what he was going to do next.

  They were lying in bed, sipping wine. "That is more money than we’ll need, I think, unless you wanted to do something crazy, like start a company with Richard," Miranda said. "I think you should give some of it away."

  "Hmm...Michael Abbot, philanthropist. I sort of like the way that sounds," Michael mused. "What did you have in mind?"

  "The library," Miranda said almost immediately.

  "The library?"

  "You know, it’s this place where you get books and music and movies. And it’s free, so anyone can use it."

  "Oh that place," he smiled. "And why should I give them some of my hard-inherited money?"

  "Because they are always ludicrously under-funded. They haven’t closed any branches yet, but the hours for some of them are ridiculous, and they don’t replenish their collections as often as they should. A good donation could make a big difference."

  "And you used to like it there, right?" Michael said, as he put his glass down. "That was your little refuge."

  "I wouldn’t call it ‘little’, but—hey, how did you know that?"

  "I might have gotten into your room a couple of times to go through your things."

  "And you’ve managed to be un-creepy for so long. What a shame."

  "Then I guess I shouldn’t tell you that I used to follow you there sometimes."

  Miranda stopped drinking. "Why?"

  "Because I wanted to see what you were really like. Without Jessie, without Richard, without Alex. What went on inside that pretty little head of yours?"

  She pulled the covers over herself. "And what did you find?"

  He smiled and moved in closer. "That you believe in romance. You root for the underdog. You like quiet moments. And you like simple, beautiful things—nothing too swanky."

  She put her glass down. "That was probably easy enough to gather from breaking into my room."

  "But then I would never have seen you dreaming by the fountain in the courtyard."

  "Why...why didn’t you say something, if you were there?"

  "I don’t know what I would have said."

  "’Hello’ usually works best."

  "Why are you angry?"

  "Because I was lonely, and you were being...normal, mostly, except for the stalking part." She looked at him. "Maybe I could have seen a different side of you."

  She lay on her back, and he put himself in plank over her. "Do you think you would have loved me?"

  "Do you think you would have been nice to me?"

  "Eventually."

  "And do you think you would have told me the truth?"

  Michael smiled and shook his head. "No."

  Miranda frowned. "Why not?"

  "Because then you might have left Alex, and you might have left me. I know, that’s pretty selfish and messed up and—oof!" Miranda had grabbed both sides of his face and pulled him down so he came crashing on top of her.

  "Is that really why you didn’t tell me?" she whispered after she kissed him.

  He nodded shyly. "Yeah, it really is."

  "You’re such a strange man," she whispered as she kissed him.

  "One step up from creepy." Then he moaned as Miranda hungrily bit into his neck and chest.

  ~~~

  For t
he first time in years, Alex made a point of staying in Boston. He insisted that most business be conducted on the phone, or dispatched his most senior employees for things that absolutely required face to face contact. He was reluctant to trust people, even those who had worked with him for years, but he had to balance his interests. He needed to get everything in order before he could go anywhere.

  He was at home when Keith announced Lucy Bartolome. Alex hadn’t seen her look so happy in years.

  He leaned back in his chair. "Good afternoon, Lucy. What can I do for you?"

  Lucy took off her gloves. "Nothing at all, Alex. This is strictly a social call."

  "I’m flattered."

  "I thought you might be." Lucy smiled broadly. Alex narrowed his eyes. "Good news travels fast, though I must say, I was a little hurt not to receive official notification." Silence. "And not even an announcement in one of the papers. Aren’t you happy for them?"

  "As long as they’re happy," Alex said, not taking his eyes off of her. "That’s what’s really important."

  "I wouldn’t have expected any less from you."

  "Lucy, I’m touched, really, but you didn’t have to go to such trouble to congratulate me. A card would have been perfect."

  "But then I’d have missed the look on your face."

  "So now you’ve seen it and—"

  "Don’t worry; I had no intention of wearing out my welcome. But I also wanted to know if you were planning on a match?"

  "A match?"

  "For Michael’s generous gift."

  Alex sat up. "What gift?"

  "Haven’t you heard? Michael just came into his inheritance. From the Hendrickson side. He’s made a very generous donation to the library, according to Richard. I’ve got to imagine that’s Miranda’s influence." Lucy smiled and sighed. "Isn’t it wonderful to see how much redemption and respect you can buy these days? Michael learned so well from you." Another smile. "In so many different ways."

  Alex stood up. "Lovely to see you as ever, Lucy. Let me show you out."

  She grabbed her gloves. "There’s very little you can show me anymore," she said before she turned and left.