Ramsey's Praise

by Vanessa Miller

Maxine put a hand on his shoulder, Ram turned back around to face her. “Don’t look so dejected. I’m not turning you down. I really would like to go out with you. But I’m rehearsing for my solo at church this Sunday. This is really important to me, Ram. I need to know if I can sing well enough to sing gospel music professionally. A producer has already offered me a contract. But I don’t want to take it if I’m just going to get more bad reviews.”

  Smiling now, Ram said, “Don’t you attend Dontae and Jewel’s church?”

  “Sure do.”

  “How about I come to church and cheer you on next Sunday. Then I can take you and Brielle out to dinner or whatever you want.”

  “Deal.” Ram and Maxine shook hands on it. Then he said, “But you better be really cheering. You and Brielle hurt my feeling enough tonight with the way y’all refused to finish my cake.”

  Lifting one finger he reminded her, “A cake with no eggs and no sugar.”

  “Okay, but just help me out at church, all right?”

  At least he didn’t have to eat her cooking. “I’ll be the one praise dancing down the aisle as you give glory to God with your voice.”

  5

  Ram hated missing service at his own church, not to mention that he had to drive forty-five minutes to get to the University area where his brother’s church was at. But if things went the way Ram wanted, he wouldn’t have to do this for long. Because if he and Maxine hit if off the way he’d believed they would from the moment he watched her walk down the aisle at Dontae and Jewel’s wedding, then his family might just be attending another wedding and Maxine would hopefully switch membership to his church.

  Ram had to laugh at himself. “Pump your brakes.” He and Maxine hadn’t even been on their first date yet and he was already singing the here-comes-the-bride song. The thoughts in his head made him pause for a second. He sat down on his bed and lowered his head. He needed to pray about this... ask the Lord if Maxine was the one or if he needed to look for another. After he finished praying, he waited for a moment to see if he was going to hear from the Lord. Sometimes he received answers to his prayers right away, other times he had to wait awhile. This was one of those wait-a-while times, so he grabbed his keys and headed out the door.

  But Ram was just happy to even be having thoughts of love and marriage. He’d never met a woman that he’d fantasized about marrying. The closest he came to commitment was when he made the biggest mistake in his life and moved Brandi into his house. Ram had cared about Brandi, but it hadn’t blossomed into full blown love. Yet and still, Ram wished he could turn back the hands of time and eat every syllable he’d spit out of his mouth the day he’d told Brandi that it just wasn’t working out between them. If he had just waited one more day then he would have known about the baby. Maybe he could have talked her into letting him raise his child, rather than aborting it.

  This time, though, he was determined not to let things get that far with Maxine. Not unless he had a ring on her finger and had already said “I do”.

  Praise and Worship was just about to get started when Ram arrived at the church. Dontae and Jewel had saved him a seat, so he squeezed in with them. “Thank you for coming to support Maxine. She’s kind of nervous about the song she’s going to lead. She’ll be happy to have your support.”

  “I thought she was doing a solo.” Ram said.

  Jewel got a strange look on her face as she told him, “They made some adjustments to the song during rehearsals.”

  The praise and worship team was the best that Ram had ever heard. There were only four women and one man singing praises to God, but they sounded as beautiful as a large choir. Ram was on his feet praising like nobody’s business, when he reminded himself that he needed to save some of it for when Maxine started singing. Wouldn’t do to be all tuckered out by the time she got to the microphone. But then they began singing a slow praise song and he stopped dancing and just raised his hands in praise.

  After offering, the choir stood and it was time for Maxine’s big moment. The choir began singing Take Me to the King. The song started off really good. And Ramsey stood up and began clapping just as he promised he would do. But then something went wrong. Maxine’s voice cracked on every other word. Ramsey never lost his beat and he kept the smile on his face until Maxine handed the microphone off to another singer to finish the song.

  Ramsey sat down, wondering what he was going to say to Maxine. She was certainly no Tamela Mann, the original singer of that song. But even though Maxine stunk up the place with her rendition of that song, she looked beautiful doing it. So, Ramsey decided that he would tell her how beautiful she was and how God loves to hear praise from his children. But he knew Maxine, and those lame responses weren’t going to work with her... but it was all he had.

  Ramsey was so intrigued by Maxine that he hardly heard a word the pastor preached that day. Maxine had so much to be proud of. She’d spent over a decade as a super model and been paid very well, if the house she was living in was any indication. But for some reason, she didn’t seem content with all she had accomplished and was determined to discover something else she could do with the rest of her life. Ramsey just didn’t understand why she didn’t concentrate her efforts on doing something in the fashion industry since she already knew so much about it.

  ***

  Maxine wished she could just grab Brielle out of the daycare and escape out of the back door of the church. She had almost called Ram last night to tell him not to come to church today. But she knew he would think she was just blowing him off. And there was no way she was going to make a man as kind and as fine as Ramsey Thomas Jr. wait another second. It had been over a year since she’d told Ram that she couldn’t get involved with him because she was going to become a mother.

  She’d thought that her decision to adopt Brielle left her zero chance with Ram, but he seemed not to care about her single motherhood status. And Brielle was certainly over the moon about him. Her daughter was starting out young, but she already knew a handsome man when she saw one. Maxine had learned a long time ago that going just on looks was a sure fire way of ending up in a relationship with someone who was nice to look at, but had no substance, and no moral base... as far as Maxine could see, Ram was a very moral man... full of enough substance and character to go around.

  She had made a mess of it today, though. He must have thought she was crazy or something. Maxine walked into the nursery, signed Brielle out and tried her best not to look anyone in the eye. But as she grabbed Brielle’s hand and began walking out of the nursery, Sister Fowler stopped her and said, “You look like you need a hug.”

  How did she know? Sis Fowler worked in the nursery with the kids. Had she come into the hall while Maxine was howling at the moon rather than actually singing? Sis Fowler wrapped her arms around her and said, “You have a good voice, just need a bit more practice, that’s all. So, don’t let it get you down.”

  Well, guess that answered her question. Maxine smiled and walked away. Sister Fowler was simply trying to encourage her; she didn’t realize that she had just crushed her spirit a little bit more. The people in her life thought Maxine was living on easy street and had no problems because of how much money she had earned in the fashion industry. But Maxine’s modeling career was over and she was only thirty-three, with no desire to live a life of leisure, traveling the world doing nothing but discovering new places to shop. She needed to figure out what she was going to do with the rest of her life. She wanted to be a mother and have a career, but sometimes she wondered if she was just being selfish again. Maxine didn’t like to think about how much selfishly pursuing her modeling career had cost her. She’d rather go face Jewel, Dontae and even Ram than dwell on those hateful memories. So, she picked Brielle up and made her way back to the sanctuary.

  “Hey girl,” Jewel said as Maxine approached. “We waited on you. Thought we would walk out to the car with you.”

  “I don’t need a bodyguard, but thanks for
the thought, sis.” Maxine kissed her sister on the cheek.

  “We just wanted to be here for you,” Dontae told her, with an uncomfortable look on his face. “I mean... with it being the first time you sang in front of a crowd and all.”

  Jewel poked her husband and tried to whisper, “You didn’t have to mention the song.”

  “It’s okay, Jewel. I know that I messed the song up. Sister Fowler already gave me a hug and some words of encouragement.”

  “I was supposed to be here for the encouragement,” Ram reminded her. “So, I hope you didn’t let someone else steal my job.”

  Maxine turned towards Ram and smiled. At least he was still there and hadn’t left because it would be too awkward to face her. She’d once brought a date to one of the stage productions she had called herself acting in. She’d done such a horrible job of it that he left just before the curtain closed. To this day, she hadn’t heard anything from that guy. “What words of encouragement do you have for me, Ram?”

  Steepling his hands in front of his mouth, Ram appeared to be considering his thoughts. He waited a beat, and then said, “Beautiful... I mean, the original singer of that song is certainly pretty, but all I could think about while you held that microphone was how beautiful you are.”

  “Aww, that’s so sweet,” Jewel said while giving her husband the eye and nodding in Ramsey’s direction as if to say, he should take lessons.

  “Sweet, but so fake.” Maxine said as she laid Brielle on the church bench and then opened her diaper bag, pulled out the supplies needed to change Brielle. She then squinted her eyes at Ramsey. “That was not the only thing you were thinking while I was up there making a fool of myself trying to sing a song that was way out of my range.”

  Brielle started making cooing sounds as Maxine smiled at the child while changing her diaper.

  “All right, I’ll admit it. You weren’t that great, but I bet it was still sweet music to God’s ears. He doesn’t care how well we can sing. God only wants our praise in any way we can give it. At least that’s what Mama Carmella tells us. Isn’t that right, Dontae?”

  Dontae nodded, trying to stay as far away from this conversation as possible.

  “Are you all better now that mommy took that wet diaper off of you?” Maxine asked her fifteen month old as if they were about to start having a conversation.

  Brielle cooed and giggled some more. Maxine stood back up and just when she was about to respond to Ramsey’s comment, he changed the subject on her.

  “Are you hungry?” Ramsey asked. “Because I did promise you dinner after church. Remember?”

  “I’m starving. Where are we going?”

  “I made reservations at Bentley’s on 27.”

  “Wow,” Jewel’s mouth hung open for a moment then she said, “You don’t mess around, do you, Ram?” She reached out for Brielle; the child came to her with ease. “I guess this means Dontae and I are watching the baby.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” Ram told them. “I made reservation for the three of us.”

  “Please.” Jewel waved him off. “Brielle will be just fine with us. She doesn’t even have all of her teeth yet, so she can just go home with me and Dontae and eat the mashed potatoes that I cooked.”

  “Thanks, Jewel,” Maxine kissed her sister on the cheek again. She hadn’t dated since Brielle came to stay with her. So, she hadn’t given much thought as to whether or not Brielle should hang out with her on a date, but Jewel was probably right about this one.

  Ramsey walked her out of the church. “So, are you going to follow me or do you just want to ride in my truck?”

  “Let me follow you. That way you won’t have to drive all the way back on this side of town to bring me to my car.”

  “Okay, sounds good. I’ll walk you to your car.”

  “Thanks, Ram, how gentlemanly of you.” They took a few steps toward her car, and then Maxine put her arm on his shoulder and stopped walking. “I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have invited you to church today. And I hope you won’t hold my flailing talent search against me.”

  Ramsey put her hand in his and allowed her to lead him to the car. While they walked, he said, “Seems as if it’s really important to you.”

  She nodded. “Ever since giving up modeling, I’ve been trying to discover what else I’m good at. But I’ve been a big flop at the things I’ve tried... acting, dancing, singing... you name it.”

  “I can understand trying to find another career. Not many people retire in their thirties. But maybe you should stick with what you know. If you don’t want to model anymore, maybe open a modeling school or become an agent for some of the up and coming models. It’s a business that you know, and I’m sure you’d be great at it.”

  Ramsey was probably right; she needed to stick with what she already knew so much about. But how could she go back to an industry that had cost her so much? “I’ll think about it,” she said as they crossed the street and headed toward her car.

  “Why in the world did you park your car so far away from the church?” Ram was shaking his head as they continued their trek.

  “The parking spaces are too close together in the parking lot. I’ve had my car door scratched a few times, so I’m just trying to avoid acting all hood up in the church, if you know what I mean.”

  Ramsey’s head fell back as he chuckled. But as they approached Maxine’s white, convertible BMW, the laughter stopped. The hood had been shredded. A piece of paper was lying on the driver’s seat. Ramsey leaned over and picked it up, Maxine was too busy screaming into her phone to notice the note.

  She was on the phone with the police, asking if someone could come right away. When she hung up, Ram tried to hand her the note.

  “What’s that?”

  “It was lying in your seat. Do you want to read it?”

  “I can’t right now, I’m too busy seeing red. Can you just read it to me, please?” Maxine began pacing around the car. Checking the tires, the paint, looking at everything on the car to ensure nothing but the convertible hood had been damaged.

  Ram’s eyes got big as he opened the piece of paper.

  “What does it say?” Maxine demanded.

  “Stay away from my man.” Ram read the words off the paper and then he looked up, his eyes questioning her.

  But her eyes were full of questions as well. “What man? Who does this maniac want me to stay away from?”

  “Now that’s something you need to tell me. Because I was under the impression that you weren’t seeing anyone and hadn’t been for quite a while.”

  Throwing her hands up, still pacing, she said, “I’m not... I haven’t been.” Maxine swung around to Ram when something came to mind. “Do you think someone slashed my hood by accident…maybe thinking I was someone else or something?”

  “Let’s hope that’s the case. I’d hate for you and Brielle to be dealing with drama like this over some man who obviously doesn’t care what kind of jeopardy he puts you in.”

  Offended by the way Ramsey readily assumed she had done something to bring this drama upon herself, Maxine put her hands on her hips and let him have it. “Listen up, buddy, because this is the last time I’m going to say this. I'm not dating anyone, and I certainly wouldn't be dating anyone with a psycho girlfriend.”

  Unfortunately that wasn’t the last time Maxine had to make that proclamation, because when the police arrived on the scene they assumed the same thing. Then when AAA arrived to tow her car to the dealership, Maxine had to once again deal with the same accusations. “For the love of God. I have been celibate for over three years. Now, do I really sound like some kind of temptress who’s looking to steal somebody’s man?” Did I really just blurt out my business like that? But they had made her so mad; she was surprised that she’d restrained herself from saying more.

  There was a moment of awkward silence, then the tow truck driver cleared his throat, pointed towards her car and said, “I better
get your car hooked up,” and walked away.

  Just like a man, Maxine thought. The moment one of them realizes that a woman isn’t about to fulfill all of their bedroom wishes and dreams they suddenly have better things to do. She didn’t think Ramsey was like that... well, since she’d blurted out her business, only time would tell now.

  6

  Ramsey had been knocked off his game by the thought of Maxine being involved with another man. He couldn’t believe that he had even imagined marrying this woman and thought it was some sort of sign from God that Maxine would be his wife. He’d been waiting on God to answer his prayer. So, now he had to consider that maybe Maxine’s slashed convertible top and the note left on her seat might just be God trying to tell him something.

  As Ramsey pulled into his driveway, he found himself wondering if Maxine was telling the truth or if she had gotten herself involved in some situation that could potentially bring harm to baby Brielle. He didn’t understand how some mothers could be so careless with the children they were supposed to love, while others could simply abort babies as if they were nothing more than non-human fetuses... believing the lies that the world told themselves so they could get away with baby killing.

  Ramsey believed with everything in him that God was a forgiving God. A woman who had an abortion was no different from anyone else committing sin. But what could separate sinners is when one person comes to understand the awesome power of God’s great love, and His ability to forgive sin. When that person repents of their sins and accepts God’s forgiveness, it’s like their sin was never committed in the first place. Because if God chooses not to remember a person’s sins, who else could be so bold as to cast light on it.

  But what about the kind of woman who would kill a man’s child without even giving him the opportunity to say whether or not he wanted his own baby? Shouldn’t there be a special place in hell for a woman who could rip a man’s heart out in a single phone call and then go on about her life as if nothing out of the ordinary occurred?