Embattled Minds (Military Romance) (Lost And Found Series)

by J. M. Madden

  “I appreciate you calling me, Detective, especially considering it’s the holiday.”

  “Well, all the days run together for me. It was no big deal. I’m sorry I didn’t have better news.”

  “Just,” he hesitated. “Just don’t give up on this, okay Detective?”

  “Oh, I won’t, sir. Roberts was ready to close the case, but I took it over. I’ll keep my eye on it. I promise.”

  Duncan hung up, feeling like shit. If he’d only been a little more convincing, or empathetic, or quicker to offer help, maybe Aiden would still be here.

  *****

  Ember got ready for work happily that day. The grill was only open for a few hours, then they had a day and a half off. Ms. Miller watched Drew. Ember felt bad about using her on a holiday, but the woman seemed to need every penny she could bring in. Two of the kids she watched throughout the day were her own.

  She’d told Ember to go ahead and do what she needed to do for Christmas, and Ember made the same offer. So, this afternoon, when she should be getting Christmas ready for Drew, she would be babysitting Ms. Miller’s boy and girl.

  She couldn’t begrudge the time, though, because the woman had seemed ecstatic to get a few hours alone.

  Zeke occupied her thoughts throughout the day, and she wracked her brain trying to decide what to get him for Christmas. They hadn’t opened the packages he’d given them, so she had no idea how big or little they were.

  When he’d been at her dad’s house and picked up the guitar, he’d seemed happy. Maybe a song book? She had no idea.

  As she wandered through the mall with five million other people later that day, nothing seemed exactly right. She did stumble across a shadow box, though, that she thought would be nice to display her dad’s medals in.

  Ember finally settled on a T-shirt that said, ‘Guitar Players do it better in the dark’. Kind of funny but not too personal. She didn’t want him to feel pressured. For laughs, she bought a small Lego set that Drew could help wrap and give him.

  Ms. Miller, Erin as she asked Ember to call her, brought her kids over later that afternoon and promised to be back within a couple of hours. And she was. Smiling and tired. The kids had played the entire time, and refused to go home without a fuss. Ember promised them they could come again another day.

  It felt strange not seeing Zeke that day, so she sent him a text asking him if he wanted to come for a late dinner. He responded almost immediately that he did, and would be over as soon as he’d showered. Ember made French-bread pizzas that night, not very Christmas-y, but easy and filling. She had just placed them into the oven when he knocked on her door.

  As she swung it open, she tried not to appear too eager. But he was freshly showered, and his hair was drawn back into a tight, short ponytail. She hadn’t realized it was long enough to do that. Spicy body wash reached her nose and she inhaled, smiling appreciatively. “Damn you smell good.”

  He made an odd face, like he didn’t believe her, but leaned down for a kiss anyway. Ember drew him into her arms and held on as he lifted her off her feet. Kicking the door shut behind him, he carried her into the living room and set her down.

  Drew blasted into the room, just as happy to see Zeke as she was. The boy ran to the tree and grabbed the wrapped box of Legos they’d bought him, thrusting them at the big man. “Open your present, Zeke!”

  The rattle from inside the box was very distinctive, but he smiled as if he were clueless anyway. His gaze met hers over the boy’s head. “Mind if I open my gift?”

  She shook her head and waved him to the couch. “Have a seat.”

  He dropped down into the opposite corner and ripped into the paper. “Oh, wow,” he gushed. “I love these ones!”

  Drew beamed as if he’d chosen them himself. “I knew you would!”

  He ran to the tree and retrieved his second gift, holding it out to Zeke. “That’s just a T-shirt, but Mom said you’d like it.”

  “Drew!” Ember admonished.

  The boy looked shamefaced for a minute, but not very long.

  Zeke unwrapped the gift and laughed when it unfolded in front of him. “She’s right, I do like it. A lot.”

  “Can I open the gift you got me now? Please?”

  Once again, Zeke looked to her for guidance. She shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

  Drew grabbed both gifts from the top of the pile beneath the tree, practically throwing Ember’s at her. She couldn’t contain a girlish little thrill of excitement as she started to carefully ease the pretty paper away. Drew squealed when he unwrapped the Spider-Man toy, because it was one he didn’t have. After a hurried thank you, he ran into his room to have a superhero fight.

  As Ember finally revealed the front of the little box, tears came to her eyes. “Oh,” she sighed as she flipped the lid and slid the little figurine out. “It’s beautiful.”

  The little elephant was adorable. He looked like he’d just taken a tumble, and landed splay-legged on the ground. She crossed the room and made a spot for it on top of the entertainment center with the other treasures.

  “It looks like it’s always been there,” she sighed and sank down onto the couch beside him, pressing a kiss to his lips. “You could not have gotten me anything more perfect. That was my mother’s collection first, then I started to add to it. Thank you.”

  She wrapped her arm around his midsection and leaned into him.

  “You’re welcome,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

  After Drew went to bed early that night, they made love sweetly and curled up together afterwards. “Do you have to leave?” she asked finally.

  “No, not i-if you don’t want me to.”

  “I would love for you to stay,” she whispered, her throat tight with tears.

  Ember took long enough to lay out the Santa Claus gifts for Drew, then came back to bed.

  Zeke held her all through the night, and it was the most amazing sensation Ember had ever had. She’d never let another man do that for her. She knew Drew would be up in just a few hours, but she couldn’t make herself go to sleep.

  When she did eventually drift off, it seemed like mere seconds before Drew was bouncing on her bed, urging her up to go open presents. Ember glanced around for Zeke, but didn’t see any sign of him. It wasn’t until she dressed and headed for the living room that she realized somebody had made coffee.

  *****

  Zeke didn’t know what his reception would be when Ember walked into the room. They hadn’t really made plans to be together on Christmas Day, but it felt right to be in her kitchen right now, cooking breakfast and making coffee. Her sleep tousled hair hung around her face, but he still thought she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. When she walked into his arms for a morning hug, he couldn’t help but fall a little in love with her.

  A little more, rather.

  He hadn’t had a lot of relationship experience. Some of the guys he’d served with had girls, wives even, at home waiting for them, but it just hadn’t happened for him. Nobody had seriously pinged his radar.

  Ember didn’t just ping his radar, she damn near crashed his plane. The woman appealed to him in every way she could. Hell, she stood in front of him now with no bra, no make-up, her hair a mess, but she drew him to her like a drug.

  As he cradled her in his arms, he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else on Earth.

  Drew ran in carrying a boxed game. “Mom, look what he brought me!”

  They each grabbed a coffee and wandered out to the living room to watch the boy rip open his presents. Her father sent her a text message wishing her a Merry Christmas, and she invited him over to watch Drew play with his new toys. “Do you mind?” she asked him.

  Zeke shook his head, knowing it was important for her to have her family together. “Do you want me to go and let you have alone time with your dad?”

  If she absolutely wanted that, he would abide by her wishes. But she scrunched up her face and shook her head. “Heck, no.
I want all of you to be here. Is that okay?”

  “Yes.”

  And it was.

  When Hank arrived later that morning, he seemed tentative in his welcome. Zeke had some issues to work out with Ember’s dad, but for the most part he seemed like a good guy. Former Marine, so he wasn’t totally bad. It was very evident to see that he loved his daughter and grandson. That love was reciprocated.

  When he opened the empty shadow box, tears came to his eyes.

  “We found your Purple Heart when I was packing. You should be proud of that. Now it has a place.”

  Father and daughter cried together, and Zeke felt his own throat tighten with emotion. Maybe if Norton could work through his PTSD issues, he’d be able to be proud of how he’d served his country.

  Ember’s dad didn’t stay long. It was as if he knew he couldn’t push it with her. Several times over the morning, Zeke had caught him staring at the fading bruise on her jaw, then looking away. It probably would be hard to look at the evidence of your fucked-up-ness over and over again.

  Later that morning, Chad sent a text asking him where he was, and he debated not responding.

  Ember’s.

  You coming over for lunch??? Bring her with you. Shannon would love her.

  Zeke frowned, unsure she’d even want to go.

  When he mentioned that the guys from LNF were having a get-together, she thought he was trying to leave. “No,” he interrupted, “I want you to go with me.”

  Those damn ants started marching across his scalp again, making his skin prickle, but she didn’t seem to notice how embarrassed he was. A brilliant smile spread across her broad mouth. “Really? I’d love to go over with you. Would they mind having a child there?”

  Zeke shrugged. Drew would definitely be the only one there, but that would probably get him extra attention, which the little boy dearly loved.

  She hopped up from the couch and headed for the door. “I’ll get dressed.”

  An hour later they pulled up in front of John and Shannon’s house. There wasn’t enough room to park in the driveway crowded with SUVs and trucks, so they parked on the street. Ember had to slide across the seat to Zeke’s side because the snowdrift wouldn’t allow her to open her door. She smiled happily when he helped her down.

  Drew thought they were on a great adventure, and loved the handicapped access ramp at the front of the house. They let him run up and down three times before Ember pulled him to her side. Zeke knocked on the door.

  Shannon Murphy was five feet and one inch of sweetness. Zeke smiled when he saw her in her head-to-toe elf costume and leaned down for his hug.

  “Oh, Zeke, wonderful! I didn’t think you were coming! And who’s this?”

  Her gorgeous hazel eyes widened when he introduced Ember and Drew, but she pulled them each into a quick embrace, bells jingling, before letting them go.

  “I hope you don’t mind Zeke bringing us?” Ember frowned. “I know we’re kind of last minute.”

  Shannon waved her hand. “Oh, don’t worry about it. We’ve got enough for everybody. I just wanted the guys to have a place to go for Christmas because so many of them are away from home. Please, come in and enjoy yourselves.”

  Zeke had to admit, Ember totally pumped his ego. As he introduced her to most of the guys he worked with, they checked her out with interest. Her hold on his hand or arm kept them from pursuing her.

  When he caught sight of John Palmer through the crowd, he snorted with laughter and tugged Ember toward him.

  Zeke’s hard-ass, second in command boss, former Marine Gunnery Sergeant, wore a Grinch hat, complete with hairy tassel and scowl. Ember giggled and held out her hand. “I’m Ember.”

  “John Palmer, aka, The Grinch.” His hard dark eyes scanned her face. “Zeke take care of whoever did that to you?”

  Ember’s cheeks turned a little pink, but she nodded. Zeke swallowed heavily. John didn’t even hesitate in his assumption that he would step up and do what needed doing.

  The faith from one of the men he respected most at the Agency floored him.

  When he first started at LNF, he knew he was more fuck-up than actual help, but they’d given him time to settle into a slot he could manage and do well in. They’d accommodated his shortcomings, and used his determination to get the job done right to their advantage. Loyalty had been earned on both sides.

  It meant the world to him that he belonged to such a great group of guys.

  Chad joined them and held a cookie out to Drew, who hadn’t left Ember’s side. “Here you go, little man.”

  Drew looked up at Ember’s nod of permission, then quickly snatched the cookie from the man’s hand. “Thank you!”

  “You’re welcome. There’s more in the kitchen.”

  Ember laughed in embarrassment as her son ate the treat in three bites, then headed for more.

  “Maybe you shouldn’t have told him where they are.”

  Chad shrugged and ate his own cookie. “He’s not going to hurt anything here. Let him have fun. Mind if I talk to Zeke a minute?”

  Ember smiled and shook her head, and he was struck with how right it felt to have her here. She didn’t seem shocked by anybody’s appearance, or look at them with pity. She wandered over to the couch and sat down with Shannon. The two of them were laughing almost immediately, and he grinned.

  “Hellooo…”

  Zeke snapped his head around to Chad. “Sorry, buddy.”

  Chad shook his head sadly. “Dude, you are so whipped.”

  He frowned. “N-no, I’m not.”

  “You look at her as if she hung the moon.”

  Zeke shrugged uncomfortably, not so sure that she hadn’t. “I’m enjoying b-b-being with her. A l-lot, actually.”

  Chad had his head cocked to the side and a funny look on his face. “Do you love her?”

  For a long moment, he couldn’t answer, because his heart clutched in his chest. “Yeah, I think I do.”

  “What did she say when you told her about the surgery? She’ll be there, right?”

  Zeke looked away from his best friend’s face. “I d-d-didn’t tell her.”

  “What? Why the hell not?”

  “Because sh-sh-she’s been through a l-l-lot this week. I’m not going to freak her out by r-r-r-, telling her all the damn statistics about the dangers involved with this one. I’ll tell her when I’m in recovery and I’ve made it through. Assuming she even sticks around.”

  Chad shook his head sadly. “Dude, you’re going about this wrong. She’d going to be so pissed at you.”

  Zeke shifted uncomfortably, second thinking his decision. “I-if I tell her now, all sh-she’ll do is w-w-worry. And if she sticks around afterwards, maybe I actually mean something to her.”

  Chad seemed unconvinced, shaking his head from side to side. Zeke didn’t like disappointing his buddy, but he felt strongly about this. He didn’t know if she felt the same way he did. They’d only been hanging out for a few days. He thought he meant something to her. If he threw her into the deep end of his recovery, though, she’d probably bug out, just like he’d seen many other women do when they couldn’t handle their soldiers’ trials. “You can call her when I make it out. I’ll give you her number.”

  Frowning, Chad didn’t argue with him any more, but Zeke could tell he’d disappointed him.

  *****

  Ember watched the two men talking and wondered what put that irritated look on each of their faces. Zeke looked stubborn, with his heavy arms crossed and jaw clenched. She’d never seen him look so…unyielding. Chad looked up and caught her gaze, then looked away guiltily.

  Hm. What wasn’t Zeke telling him?

  She debated crossing the room, then thought not. Chad had asked to speak to Zeke privately. Maybe it didn’t even concern her.

  She glanced at Shannon. The Grinch had rolled over in his wheelchair to ask her a question, and there was such a connection in the look they shared. As if the room could fall away around them and they woul
dn’t even notice. The man seemed so intense, dark eyes flaring with emotion when he looked at her. Shannon seemed to relish his attention. They were obviously very much in love. When Palmer rolled away, Shannon’s eyes followed him until he disappeared into the kitchen.

  Ember couldn’t help but admire what they had.

  “How long have you guys been together?” she asked.

  Shannon glanced at her and grinned. “Not nearly long enough,” she laughed. “Sorry. We’ve officially been a couple about two months, but I’ve been mooning over him for a lot longer than that.”

  Ember laughed along with her. “You guys seem to fit very well. I thought you’d been together longer.”

  “Nope,” Shannon sighed, “we’ve just been through a lot of crap in a short amount of time.” She waved her hand as if it weren’t important. “Tell me about you and Zeke.”

  Ember shrugged uncomfortably. “He’s been coming into the grill I run with my dad in the Flat Irons Mall area, and he caught my eye. I’ve been dealing with some crap, myself,” she waved a hand at her fading bruises, “and he stepped in to help Drew and I out.”

  “Ah, yeah, the Marine thing,” she gave her a knowing smile. “You might as well get used to it now because he’ll never change.”

  Shannon was a great listener, and within no time Ember had poured out the entire story, and how they were dealing with the fallout this week.

  “You did what you needed to do,” Shannon said finally. “You can’t mess with PTSD. We’ve heard too many stories about how quickly the whole situation can go bad. I bet your father’s buddy who committed suicide had untreated PTSD.”

  Ember sank back against the couch, propping her arm on the back. “You’re probably right. I never thought about it to make the connection.”

  “The government has gotten better about recognizing it and treating it, but they’re so understaffed right now that there’s a backlog of service men waiting to get the help they need.” She shook her head, making the bell on her hat tinkle. “It’s very sad.”

  Ember agreed, and hoped her dad actively took part in the treatment and appreciated the result.