Second Chance on St. Patrick's Day

by Mia Ford

  When I pulled into the driveway, I put the key code in the gate and slowly pulled down the way. The gardeners were in the yard, raking the leaves and preparing for the fall decorations my mother always like to put up. This was all so messed up. We should be angry with my mother, not focused on the fact that I had done something incredibly stupid. Now my father was sure to feel completely alienated from his life. He had a lying daughter and a cheating wife, and after all the sacrifices he had made for our family, this was how we paid him back.

  I pulled the car up out front and hopped out, walking to the back of the house to make sure he wasn’t sitting in the garden like he liked to do when he wanted to reflect on something. The only thing back there were a few of the staff from the house and the decorations they were getting ready to put up. I walked back around the house and walked in through the front door, turning toward his study and walking quietly inside. It was dark and empty, and my father was nowhere in sight. I searched the entire house looking for him, but once I got to the garage and saw that his favorite car was gone, I knew he wasn’t there. I needed to find him, but I had no idea where to even start. My father spent all his free time at home and never really went anywhere.

  As I walked back toward the front door, I heard someone walk up behind me. I froze as I got to the front door, hearing my mother clear her throat. She was the last person I wanted to talk to right then.

  “Ava,” she said softly.

  “Mother,” I replied angrily, turning toward her. “I came to find Dad.”

  “He’s not here,” she said, looking down. “Did he tell you what happened?”

  “Yep,” I said. “But I don’t have time for that. I need to find him.”

  “Ava, I’m sorry,” she pleaded.

  “Not now, Mother,” I replied, shaking my hand. “Do you know where Dad is?”

  “No,” she said with a sigh. “He left yesterday morning and hasn’t been back.”

  “Great,” I said angrily.

  “Ava, I’m sorry, really.” She stepped forward as if to touch my arm.

  “Mom, I don’t have time for this. I told you that,” I said with irritation. “There are other things going on. We can talk about this later or something.”

  I wasn’t even sure that my father knew that I knew about mom, but she was the least of my worries at that point. I couldn’t help fix the situation she had gotten herself into when I was knee-deep in my own pile of shit. I wasn’t going to tell her what happened. It would only make her feel like maybe she could get off the hook for sleeping with the pool boy. My mother did not deserve to be off the hook any more than I did. Everything was so completely messed up in my life, and I had let that trickle over to the point where it completely destroyed my father. He didn’t deserve any of this, not one bit of it. Not Tanner betraying him, not me lying to him for weeks, not my mother cheating on him, none of it. But there we were, two lying women standing in one room together.

  “You can’t ignore me forever,” she said, a bit angry.

  “Oh, Mother,” I said snidely. “Not everything is about you. Get over yourself.”

  My mother has had this way of making me feel incredibly guilty anytime I didn’t react the way she wanted me to. She had done it my whole life, even when I was a small child. She never raised her hand to me physically, or even raised her voice to me in anger, but she would set a serious guilt trip on my shoulders and wait for me to buckle under the pressure. It became harder and harder to get to me as I got older, though, and after a while, she just let my father handle me, knowing she couldn’t get through to me even if she tried.

  This time, though, I didn’t even want to start that conversation with her. She wanted me to forgive her for sleeping with that guy, but it wasn’t for our relationship. It was for her own damn conscience. She felt terrible about it, and knowing her, she would call her girlfriends and they would console her, telling her she wasn’t at fault. My mother was never at fault for anything in her life. That was why, when I found my father, I didn’t want to make any excuses. I wanted to take full responsibility for everything I had done to hurt him.

  I stood there in the entryway, staring blankly at my mother. She dropped her arms and shook her head, realizing I wasn’t going to stand for any of her bullshit. As usual, she gave up, and walked away, not wanting to admit to anything or take responsibility for anything she’d done wrong. She wasn’t worried about comforting me. She was worried about comforting herself, sitting back and waiting for my father to come home. There was no proactive nature about my mother, and I blamed the lack of empathy for her inability to move forward in any tough situation. She had to be pushed, otherwise the issue would go by, unresolved, and later rear its ugly head again. This situation, though, didn’t bear repeating, considering she cheated on my father. I didn’t know if she would learn anything from it or not.

  My mother was the least of my worries at that point, and I wasn’t going to spend another minute thinking about whether or not she was okay. I looked around the room thinking about my childhood, remembering how close my father and I were. My heart was aching, and it was my own damn fault. I had screwed up my relationship with my father, and I wasn’t even sure there would be anything I could do to fix it. At the very best, it would be completely changed for the rest of my life, something that was inevitable but I didn’t want to accept. I took a deep breath and turned toward the door, ready to leave and go figure out a way to find my father. My phone began to vibrate in my pocket, and I pulled it out, seeing my dad’s name on the screen.

  “Dad,” I said frantically. “Where are you?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” he growled. “How could you do this? What were you thinking? You weren’t, and that is the point. You lied to me about everything, and to make matters worse, you got involved with Tanner knowing he was not a good man.”

  “I know,” I said trying to find the words. “I’m so sorry, Dad.”

  “I am so sick and tired of being told people are sorry,” he yelled. “You and your mother are full of ‘I’m sorry’ and it makes me sick. Maybe, if you were that sorry, you should have thought about it beforehand. This is a betrayal I cannot look past. I don’t want to see you ever again. Do whatever you want with your life.”

  “Dad,” I cried out as he hung up the phone.

  I stood there with the phone to my ear, like he was going to magically be on the other end. Tears flooded my eyes, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My father had disowned me, and all because I couldn’t make a smart decision from the beginning. My father was a proud man and stubborn as hell, and the thought of not having him in my life was absolutely terrifying. I looked up as my mother rounded the corner, a look of concern on her face. Before she could say a word, I turned and ran from the house, jumping in my car and speeding down the driveway.

  Everything was swirling around me so fast, and I couldn’t catch my breath for even a second. When I reached the gate, I stopped the car and got out, grabbing my stomach and screaming loudly. The cold air whipped around me as tears streamed down my face. I was in complete agony, unable to even fathom what had just happened. I was alone, completely alone, and I didn’t know where to turn. I needed to go home and sit in the quiet. I didn’t want to talk to Brianna or Tanner. They would only fan the flames and tell me lies about how everything was going to be okay. I didn’t need coddling. I needed to get my life back together.

  Chapter 21

  Tanner

  It had been a couple of days since everything had happened with Dean, and I still hadn’t been able to talk to Ava for more than a few seconds. I hadn’t spoken to Dean either, but I had a very firm reminder of why every time I looked in the mirror at the giant bruise on my face. I had deserved that and more, seeing as how I had lied to his face, helped his daughter lie, and then started sleeping with her. Everything was a giant mess, and I wished I could take a vacation away from all of it. Still, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get Ava off my mind. Not only did I feel helple
ss in making everything right for her, I missed her terribly. I missed her at my house, in the office, and I missed her sweet caring smile that made my day go a hell of a lot smoother than it normally did. She had made an impact on me that was insane considering I usually didn’t let women get that close to me.

  I could have demanded that she come to work, especially with the merger going full steam ahead, but I knew she didn’t need to be there on Monday. Still, it was Tuesday, and I had yet to see her, which was a bit concerning after everything that had happened. The last thing I wanted was to lose her with the company as well as my personal life. In all reality, she was an asset to every part of my world, including the company and that merger. As I walked to the front of the office I saw the doors to the elevator closing, and I ran forward, sticking my arm between the doors. As they slid back open, Ava was standing there by herself, her face pale and tired. I stood there staring at her, unsure of what even to say. There was so much to talk about, but at the same time, nothing really that would make anything better.

  I stepped inside the elevator and held the button that kept the doors from closing shut. I wanted to offer something, anything, even if it was just my comfort. I knew she was being standoffish toward me, but that didn’t mean she didn’t still enjoy the fact that I could comfort her at any moment. I wanted to take her in my arms and promise her everything would be okay, but I knew that would just be another lie. The truth of the matter was, I didn’t know if anything would be okay in her life any time soon. She had so much on her plate that I knew her head had to be spinning.

  Her father had found everything out about us, her mother was cheating on her father, and whatever glimmer of hope we had on Friday for a normal life and an actual relationship flew out of the door before we even had time to revel in it. If I had known that things would turn out that way, even though Friday was the best time I had ever had with a woman, I would have called it all off and kept my feelings to myself. I would have done anything to protect Ava from the fallout that we really didn’t see coming.

  Ava looked completely shocked as I stood there in the elevator, staring over at her. She took in a deep breath and looked at me, a mixture of sadness and defiance in her eyes. I could tell she was trying really hard to be strong, but inside, she just wanted to break down in tears. I should have given her more time off than just Monday. She was going through some really serious stuff, and I was half of the reason, if not more, that everything was going on the way it was.

  “Are you okay?”

  “No,” she sighed. “Everything is a mess.”

  “I know,” I replied. “If there is anything I can do to help, please tell me.”

  “I’m thinking of leaving the company,” she said point blank.

  I stood there staring at her, blinking, unsure of what to say next. Sure, the fact that she might leave had crossed my mind, but I thought that maybe that sensibility about her career would keep her in place. Even if she was right in wanting to leave, another change in her life like that wasn’t what she needed. She needed stability in her daily life so that outside of work, she could focus on getting herself back in line, making her relationships better, and fixing everything that we had destroyed in one fell swoop. I didn’t want to fight with her, but I also was not willing to let her go without a fight. She was so important to our company and the company was important to her. I knew she was emotional, and it was never good to make decisions when you were feeling that way. She needed to wait until she could really think it through. I knew if she did that, she would see how important it was for her to stay.

  “Why?”

  “I betrayed my father, Tanner,” she said shaking her head. “I lied to him for weeks, and then it all came tumbling down on me. I have to repair these relationships before I don’t have either parent in my life anymore. I made some really bad decisions, and no matter how much I want a career, I’m not like you.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I can’t just let my most important relationships fall to the wayside so my career stays strong,” she said quietly. “I want both a family relationship and a career, and I’m not sure I can do that with your company, especially since it is going to be a sore spot for my father for a very long time.”

  “Just because I made the choice to cut everything out of my life and just focus on my career, doesn’t mean everyone that works for me has to be that way,” I said. “You are very important to me and this company, and I will do anything I can to make sure you have the ability to have everything you want in your life. You can have a family and a career at the same time. You’re versatile like that. When I was coming up, I didn’t have anyone to show me that, and the woman I was married to was only interested in my money. It scared me away from everything, like I’m afraid your mother has scared your father away. It’s a lonely life that I chose, but it is not the only choice. I know that now.”

  “I don’t know,” she sighed, looking down.

  “You don’t have to decide now,” I said. “In fact, I implore you to not make a decision right now, especially with emotions so heightened. Take the rest of the week off. Relax, take in a deep breath, talk to your best friend, do whatever you need to do to start correcting the mess that we made, and then, when you have a better grasp on everything you want and what it will take to get there, then make your decision.”

  “None of this is easy,” she groaned. “I just want to crawl into a cave.”

  “That won’t do you any good either.” I smiled. “Just take my offer, please. Give yourself some time. Don’t make any decisions now.”

  I stood there staring at this beautiful woman in front of me, wanting so badly to wrap my arms around her and tell her everything was going to be okay. She needed someone to be there for her, but with the current situation, it couldn’t be me, no matter how much I wanted it to be. I needed to give her space, let her breathe, and then later, when things had settled, I could come forward and embrace her. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was for my part in all of these things. It was so easy to say yes, not thinking about the fact that though I had nothing really to lose, she had everything to lose. I didn’t think about her feelings or her life until it was too late to do anything about it. She deserved so much better than that.

  “Please,” I said, stepping forward and reaching for her hand. “Take the week. Think about everything, don’t make a decision about your future just yet.”

  “Okay,” she said, nodding her head and smiling before pulling her hand away slowly.

  Relief flooded through me as I stood there looking at this beautiful woman, wondering if I would ever feel her embrace again. I didn’t want her to take a week. I wanted to be selfish and have her there across the hall from me. I wanted to keep her close, so she wouldn’t forget that I cared and that she had feelings for me. That would be selfish, though, and selfish behavior was what got us into that mess in the first place. I knew I had to give her space, let her work it out on her own, even if that meant she distanced herself from me. I cared enough about her that I wanted her to be happy, regardless of whether that included me or not.

  I smiled back at her and stood there for a moment before backing out of the elevator. I waited and watched as the doors shut, my view of Ava completely gone. I felt like I had lost her in that moment, and it was almost too much to take. Leave it to me to completely screw up the first woman I had feelings for since my ex-wife. I was a complete and total mess in everything that I did. I turned and walked back to my office, telling my secretary that I didn’t want to be bothered, and shut the door behind me. I wanted to talk to Dean, try and help him realize how much Ava really loved him.

  I picked up the phone and dialed his number, listening to it as it rang. After the third ring, he sent the call to voicemail and I hung up, frustrated that I couldn’t help in any way. Dean didn’t have to ever forgive me, but he needed to forgive his daughter before she set herself up for failure in her personal life and her career. If he knew what was going
on, he would push back a bit and open up to the possibility of forgiving her. I knew he needed time, but it wasn’t something he had the luxury of at that moment.

  I picked the phone back up and called him again, with no answer. However, this time I didn’t just hang up. I listened to the voicemail and at the sound of the beep I took in a deep breath.

  “Dean, I know I am the last person you want to talk to, and that’s fine,” I said to the message. “But your daughter is hurting. She loves you so much, and I’m afraid that she is going to make rash decisions about her life because all she can think about is making things right with you. You don’t have to talk to me, but please consider letting Ava back in your life, before it’s too late.”

  I hung up the phone and tapped my pen on the desk, feeling good that I left the message. At least he would hear the words, even if he refused to call me back. I knew he loved his daughter more than anything in the world, and for him, losing her was worse than losing his wife. I knew that once he calmed down, he would see that reconciling with Ava was vital. After that, though, I had a feeling I wouldn’t be in either one of their lives.