Trust Too Much

by Jayne Bauling

  ‘No, or not that I know of.’ Fee’s face clouded. ‘The others have been answering all calls and I don’t think they’d tell me if he had in case it upset me.’

  ‘No, they wouldn’t. They do believe in protecting you, don’t they?’ Just for a moment, there was a tense look about his mouth before he smiled at her. ‘All right, Fee, in view of what has passed between us recently, I suppose it’s understandable that you should want to know exactly where you stand. I’m not going to mislead you. The more I think about it, the more I’m sold on the idea of your being the next woman in my private life—but our working relationship will be just that, and even if you should happen to reject me in our private relationship you won’t find our working one suddenly made intolerable for you, which, if I’m reading the lines correctly, seems to have been Sheldon’s initial reaction to your ending the affair, even if he now regrets it…So does all this satisfy you, or is there something else?’

  Fee met his eyes. ‘I didn’t need to hear those particular things, Simon. I know you’d never behave like Mr Sheldon. You’re much too civilised and…self-respecting.’

  ‘Well, that bodes well for the future.’ Simon saw her expression tighten in response to the lightly flirtatious tone, and he laughed. ‘Is that it, then? You don’t want me to even refer to our personal relationship-to-be? That’s asking a hell of a lot, Fee. You know me, you know what I’m like, how I talk. I’m accustomed to expressing myself as and when something occurs to me, not to curbing myself—although I am already exercising more restraint with you than I do with other women, just because you are so different and, as I’ve said before, I know sweeping you off your feet would be a mistake. No, I can’t promise never to refer to personal matters, but we can separate our professional and personal relationships in every other way. I’ve always done that quite successfully anyway. It has never been a problem, separating the two sides of my life.’

  ‘No, because one is just light entertainment to you, isn’t it, you can take it or leave it?’ she prompted tartly.

  ‘Are you calling me cold?’ He was amused. ‘I’m not, as you will find out for yourself, but I can control myself, Fee, and I do promise you that there will be no actual harassment as such, no sexual or emotional blackmail or intimidation. Does that satisfy you?’

  ‘I suppose it will have to.’

  Because she had only just realised how very much she wanted this job. Working with Simon would be an adventure; a test too, but all the perils she had to face would be there on the bright surface, not lurking below in darkness as they had proved to be in her previous job. Fee gave him a contained smile.

  ‘Right, those are your conditions dealt with,’ Simon said. ‘Now mine.’

  CHAPTER FIVE

  SIMON’S tone had been overtly challenging and, leaving Fee no time to react, he went on to specify, ‘I reserve the right to appreciate you as a woman, not some sexless automaton; to look at you and admire you and to say so—for instance, if I think you’re looking particularly nice, I’ll tell you, and I shall expect you to accept it in the spirit it’s meant. You are looking lovely now, in fact…I can’t stand those women who hear sexual innuendo in every innocent compliment and suspect every accidental or unthinking touch of being a prelude to a pounce.’

  ‘And how precisely do we identify the dividing line?’ Fee demanded tautly. ‘Some women err on the other side, by being insufficiently suspicious.’

  As she herself had done not so long ago, she reflected, some of her lingering bitterness revealing itself in the angry sparkle of her eyes and the momentary tightening of her sensitive mouth. Never again, she had promised herself, even if it meant the suppression of her natural instinct, which was to accept people at face value—believe the best, take them on trust.

  She had even ignored things that had made her uneasy, making excuses for Mr Sheldon, reluctant to be like those women Simon had just been decrying, and look how she had ended up—a subject of public speculation, humiliated and embarrassed.

  In future, she had promised herself, she would question every single thing that struck her as out of line or threatening, and particularly if it came from her boss. However alien it might be to her peaceful nature, she had to adopt the sort of aggressiveness that would cause people—men—to think twice about trying to take advantage of her, whether emotionally or physically.

  Simon was looking thoughtful in response to her words.

  ‘Yes, I do recognise that you have a valid point there,’ he conceded. ‘But you have to agree that there’s a lot of over-reaction too. It’s no wonder there are so many wimps around. Men are being emasculated.’

  ‘Not you,’ Fee asserted unthinkingly, then shut her mouth smartly, realising that commenting on his undoubted masculinity hardly constituted practicing what she was attempting to preach.

  Simon was laughing at her.

  ‘It’s all right, you’re allowed to break the rules all you like. I’m only distracted when I want to be so I’ll be only too delighted,’ he added softly, and paused, looking at her enquiringly. ‘So, Fee? Are you going to work for me?’

  ‘Yes,’ she committed herself simply.

  Satisfaction made his eyes bluer than ever.

  ‘Of course, everything I’ve just undertaken to do, or not to do, applies to business hours only,’ he cautioned her candidly. ‘Away from work, the rules change, but there again, we’ll keep the two sides separate, because if we end up sharing our nights there’ll be no room for work.’

  He was outrageous and Fee spluttered, trying to restrain a spontaneous gasp of laughter.

  ‘Away from work, I don’t have to have anything to do with you.’ She was emphatic.

  ‘Except that we happen to belong to overlapping social circles,’ he cautioned her amusedly, not at all affronted by her rejection. ‘But I take it that means you don’t want me to come along and help you choose an apartment from that list I gave you?’

  ‘Why should I?’ Fee retorted with a razor-sharp little smile. ‘I’ve already turned down a similar offer from Babs.’

  She had been tempted to reject his list, but it was probably over-reacting to suspect him of undue interference there, and in fact two of the places on it sounded so attractive that now that she had this job she meant to lose no time contacting the residential division to find out when she could view them.

  ‘Ah, but Babs would be pointing out all the drawbacks, pouring cold water all over your enthusiasm and trying to persuade you to stay safely at home with her and Charles—that woman really should have a child of her own—whereas I’d be encouraging you to go for whatever appealed to you,’ Simon asserted on a teasing note, eyes brilliant with enjoyment. ‘Choosing a home is more fun if you’ve got someone sharing the experience with you.’

  ‘Which of your girlfriends helped you choose your house, or can’t you remember?’ Fee returned, eyes limpid with assumed innocence.

  Belatedly, she realised that once again she was forgetting her own rules. Why couldn’t she remain impersonal? Why this interest in a private life she deplored?

  His face had hardened perceptibly. ‘None, as you know very well. Most women seem to view an invitation to go house-hunting as a simultaneous invitation to share the house.’

  ‘And you prefer to occupy yours in solitary splendour,’ she taunted.

  But Simon had relaxed again, shrugging dismissively and smiling. ‘In fact, I don’t often get the opportunity to spend much time in it.’

  ‘Too much work or too many women?’ she mocked sweetly. ‘What a full, busy life you must lead, Simon.’

  But was there any richness or depth to it? Clearly, though, he cherished the privacy of his home, even if he only chose to make use of it occasionally, so perhaps there were other, more thoughtful facets to him, ones his business associates, employees and social acquaintances never saw.

  Her derision merely seemed to amuse him, although she was also aware of an alert sparkle of interest in his eyes as he regarded her.
/>   ‘It seems to trouble you—Wait, I get it! Relax, Fee.

  I thought you knew. I have a very strict rule—one woman at a time.’

  And, for the time being, he was amusing himself by speculating about the possibility of making her Loren Kincaid’s successor, blithely ignoring the fact that to do so he would need her co-operation.

  Fee’s face was shuttered. She would just have to find a way of dealing with him out of the office if he kept it up—which she still didn’t believe he would. She had only to refuse to see him privately.

  As for their working relationship, she thought she could cope, if only she could conquer this annoying urge to get under his skin and find a more sensitive, complex Simon than the man she really knew him to be.

  ‘I have been warned,’ she acknowledged tartly.

  ‘Well, it was meant to be reassuring, really.’ But the look Simon gave her remained distinctly predatory for a few seconds, before altering. ‘There’s the matter of your contract. Miss Sung-Li will be getting someone to organise it. She has discussed salary and benefit schemes with you, hasn’t she? I hope she warned you that I’m a demanding boss and expect perfection, but I do realise that you’ll have to learn as you go along as Maynah won’t be here to tell you how we do things. She wants to leave today if possible, so you could tell her she can go, and start as soon as you’ve seen the people in our legal department if you like.’

  Fee’s eyes sparkled as she stood up, and he followed suit. ‘If that’s what you want. Then I’ll go down now, while you thank Maynah and say goodbye.’

  Simon looked startled, but then a smile flitted across his face. ‘Was I sounding boorish? Yes, of course I should. She has been an excellent assistant, but the annoyance of knowing I’d have to replace her has tended to make me lose sight of that lately. In the end, though, it hasn’t been such a hassle after all. Charles did me a favour.’

  ‘You don’t know that yet,’ Fee cautioned him, reluctantly amused by his satisfaction.

  ‘Oh, but I do, Fee, I do.’

  Working for Simon, Fee discovered fascinating new facets of his personality. He was a man who enjoyed his work intensely, meeting its challenges with zest and openly revelling in his successes.

  He was a demanding man to work for, but he was generally reasonable and, as Miss Sung-Li had once mentioned, he asked even more of himself than he did of those he employed. Within days, Fee shared her fellow-employees’ respect for him, although she was aware that their consequent loyalty didn’t prevent their speculating avidly and enjoyably about his notorious private life. It was natural. She frequently wondered herself.

  Secretly, Fee was glad that that side existed and that she had personally observed so much of it, because it kept her from respecting the whole man, something she felt instinctively that it would be dangerous to do, the first step towards liking him.

  Of course, even as a boss, he wasn’t perfect, although she found his major faults understandable, his impatience with those who stated the obvious or the unnecessary, and that tendency he had in common with other clever people to forget that not everyone shared his quick, logical thought processes, assuming that if he knew how he wanted something done whoever was to do it automatically understood too.

  ‘You hadn’t explained to him,’ Fee ventured quietly once when a young man from Rents and Levies hadn’t produced what was required promptly enough for Simon’s liking because he had needed to get back to Fee for elaboration.

  ‘Hadn’t I?’ Simon was honestly surprised. ‘I thought he knew. He’s usually excellent at his job.’

  ‘Most people are if they know what’s wanted,’ she retorted, and he laughed before looking thoughtful.

  ‘Yes, of course. It’s a bad habit of mine and I do try, but I keep forgetting.’ Pausing, he regarded her enquiringly. ‘Do you think I expect too much of people, Fee?’

  ‘Not too much, but a lot,’ she submitted, not sure why he was asking.

  ‘It’s only in a working environment, though.’ Strangely, he seemed to be offering some sort of reassurance. ‘Away from work, I don’t think I expect a lot.’

  ‘Hardly anything at all,’ Fee agreed a little tartly, recalling particularly his conviction concerning the transitory nature of love. ‘Because that way you’ll never be disappointed, will you?’

  ‘Have you been disappointed?’ Simon ignored the audible taunt.

  ‘Often,’ she admitted simply, knowing she would probably go on being disappointed by people all her life, despite her recent resolve to be a lot less trusting.

  ‘Because you expect too much.’ Simon was infuriatingly superior.

  ‘Because I’m not a cynic like you.’

  Her retort seemed to fascinate him briefly, and he spent several seconds examining her expression before abruptly abandoning the personal and becoming businesslike once more.

  As usual, Fee found it disconcerting. On one level she was getting to know Simon better, seeing him daily like this, and yet in a personal sense he had become utterly elusive, although whether because he was adhering to the rules they had laid down for their working relationship or because—as was all too likely—he had lost interest in her, either having met someone new or found that he wasn’t ready to part with Loren yet, she wasn’t sure.

  It was not knowing for sure that she found so frustrating, Fee supposed, and yet she shrunk from probing, half afraid of the answer.

  Simon no longer even seemed interested in her need to find a flat. In the end she had settled on one of the two that had attracted her on his list, inevitably the most expensive because it was out of the high-rise districts and one of only four in a small double-storey block built on a rise overlooking Repulse Bay, not far from where Babs and Charles lived, a fact which had helped reconcile Babs to Fee’s insistence on being independent.

  They had hired a truck for a weekend to transport the furniture Fee had chosen from a surplus in the house, much of it belonging to her father, who she knew would have no objection.

  Even when Simon required her to work late on the Friday she refrained from admitting that she would have preferred not to that particular night, quietly getting on with the job that had cropped up, resigning herself to only starting the move the following day, and gratefully aware that it was only because Rhodes Properties paid her so well that she was going to be living in sight of green hills and blue sea, rather than surrounded by concrete towers.

  ‘Do you need a lift home?’ Simon asked her, almost indifferently, when she was finally free to leave.

  ‘No, thank you, there’ll still be plenty of buses and fourteen-seater taxis running,’ she rejected the offer politely.

  ‘Can you come in tomorrow morning?’ he added with more interest in this question than his previous one. ‘We could get on with the final proposals for the Macau project.’

  ‘Sorry, I can’t. Any other Saturday, but not this one.’

  She knew she was within her rights, especially as the Macau proposals, which they had planned to deal with on Monday, weren’t needed until the end of the following week, and her contract with Rhodes Properties stipulated mutual flexibility where Saturdays were concerned.

  Simon shrugged, accepting it with a derisive curl of his lips. ‘I suppose it was inevitable that you’d revert to round-eye vices in Australia. Weekends are sacred!’

  ‘This one is, anyway,’ she returned coolly, irrationally piqued when he let her go without trying to find out what she had planned, and then furious with herself when her mind caught up with her emotions.

  What was the matter with her? She didn’t want Simon to be interested in her. She wasn’t interested in him.

  Charles had driven back to the house for the last of the furniture and other items Fee wanted, leaving her alone to arrange or put away what he had just brought, when Simon came strolling in through the open door of the little upstairs flat late the following afternoon, making her jump nervously. She was suddenly acutely aware of the brief pink shorts she wore beneath
a black shirt of fine, soft cotton, and she hated herself for being so self-conscious.

  ‘Charles says he won’t be long,’ Simon advised her, sparing her long, slender legs a casual glance before turning his attention to her face. ‘I dropped in at the house to find out what you were up to. You didn’t tell me you were moving today.’

  ‘You didn’t ask,’ she responded shortly, and then wondered what she had betrayed when she saw his bland smile.

  ‘You laid down the rules for our working relationship, darling,’ he reminded her smoothly. ‘I’m not supposed to express a personal interest in you, am I? But I’m not as rigid as you. If ever you want to volunteer personal information, go right ahead, I won’t mind.’

  ‘Well, not right now,’ Fee returned flippantly, tugging ineffectually at a small bookshelf. ‘I’m busy, as you can see.’

  ‘Let me do that. Where do you want it?’ The bookshelf in place, he looked round, his expression growing slightly complacent. ‘I had a feeling this was the place you’d choose.’

  ‘It was the built-in barbecue that persuaded me,’ Fee mentioned, needing an excuse to step out on to the balcony, suddenly feeling oddly overwhelmed by his presence, his personality so vibrant that the apartment seemed too small to contain it.

  Simon laughed, following her out. ‘Aren’t they supposed to be becoming passé? Outdoor pizza ovens were taking over last time I investigated residential trends, but there’s probably something else by now…How did you persuade Babs to let you go?’

  Fee’s heart gave an odd angry lurch as she looked at him. He was casually dressed in an open-necked shirt with the sleeves rolled up and matching stone-coloured jeans. Fine gold hairs glinted on his forearms against the deeper gold of his tanned skin, and she lifted her eyes to his face hastily, disconcerted by the warm, vulnerable feeling that had swept through her.