Breaking Through

by M. A. Lee

Internally I cringed. I should have shielded my phone better. Embarrassment flowed through my body and I wanted to find a rock to crawl under. Noticing my mortification, Jagger laughed.

  “It’s not nice to spy,” I bit at him, even though I felt like absolute shit for what he had read. It wasn’t his fault.

  “It’s ok. I am not mad. Trust me, plenty of girls have used me to get back at their ex-boyfriends,” he added.

  “I am so sorry. Tatum had this crazy idea...well, you read it. I was only going to go along with it to get some closure,” I admitted.

  I couldn’t look at Jagger, I was still too anxious.

  “Do you still have feelings for that guy?” he asked. This time he looked serious, almost anticipating my answer.

  “No,” I almost shouted. “I thought at one time that I still cared for him, but this isn’t love. You don’t want to get revenge on people you love. I just wanted the pain to stop,” I finished.

  I hadn’t been this honest in a long time. How could I share this much raw emotion with someone I had just met?

  “You must hate me,” I added.

  “Why would I hate you?” Jagger asked with surprise in his voice. “You have been more honest with me than most people ever have.”

  “I was going to use you,” I began.

  Jagger cut me off before I could finish my statement. “No you wouldn’t,” he said shaking his head. “You are better than that.”

  I wasn’t sure if I should argue with him or not. Yes, I probably wouldn’t have gone through with it because my anxiety would kick in, but he did have a point.

  “I kind of like you,” Jagger said as he took my hand and forced me to look at him.

  I could feel the power of his words and it made sparks course through my body.

  “Oh,” I managed to say.

  “Look, I don’t do this sort of thing,” he admitted as he kept walking.

  “You don’t do what?” I asked as I stopped and looked at him with raised brows.

  Sighing, Jagger ran his hand through his messy hair. “I don’t date. I don’t walk down the street with a girl. I don’t usually defend girls. It’s usually me that girls are crying over or having a friend wanting to kick his ass,” he said as he stopped too and stared down at me.

  My heart began to sink. I kind of liked Jagger, but he was making it clear that he wasn’t into me like that.

  “Ok, no problem,” I said as I began walking again. I turned around and began walking back toward the bars and restaurants.

  Grabbing my hand, Jagger swung me around. “I don’t think you understand what I am saying,” he began. His face was twisted like he was in deep thought and struggling with what to say. It was sort of cute but frustrating too. “Shit. I am not good at talking. I have never really dated. I usually just meet a girl, take her home, and then never see her again. But, there is something different about you. I don’t want to just fuck you. I mean, I want to fuck you so bad, you are so hot, but I want to get to know you first,” he said with rapid speed.

  I stopped fighting against him and looked at Jagger. Really looked at him.

  “What are you saying?” I asked as I took a step closer to him. I could feel his hot breath against my cheek.

  “I guess I am saying I want to get to know you and see where this goes,” he said with a glow in his eyes that told me he was sincere.

  “Ok,” I said.

  We stood there for a few more minutes before Jagger walked me back to my apartment. It was the first time since I could remember, that I walked with someone and I was only consumed by my own thoughts. It was absolutely perfect.

  4

  Lila

  “What happened to you last night?” Tatum yelled as she was drying her hair.

  The bathroom door was wide open and I could see her dancing around the small bathroom as she fixed her hair for class.

  “What do you mean?” I asked coyly. I stepped into a pair of dark, skinny jeans and threw on a black sweater.

  “Stop that. You know exactly what I mean,” Tatum yelled over the noise. She pointed her hair brush at me like she was scolding me. “I want the details. You weren’t home when Freddy dropped me off last night. Besides, you and Jagger looked pretty cozy. He may be just the trick to get back at Joel,” she said with a naughty smirk.

  Walking out of my bedroom, I leaned against the bathroom door frame. “Jagger and I walked around for awhile. It was nice to clear my head.”

  “Really?” she asked with raised eyes.

  “Really.” I replied. “Oh and Jagger saw your text to me. He knows about the little game we were going to play,” I added.

  Turning off the blow-dryer, Tatum turned to me with her mouth gaping wide open. “Oh shit. I’m sorry. I just ruined this for you.”

  Waving my hand, I shook my head no. “Actucally, he was really nice about it. Jagger is surprisingly sweet. Under those tattoos and motorcycle exterior, he is a nice guy.”

  “I know someone like that too,” Tatum said as she stared daggers at me.

  “What is that supposed to mean?” I asked as I folded my arms across my chest.

  “Oh come on. You love to play this gothic chick part, but deep down, you are sweet and kind too,” she said.

  If this had been anyone else, I would have punched her squared in her pretty little jaw. But, this was Tatum. Unfortunatly, she could get away with spitting the truth at me.

  “I don’t know what you are talking about,” I said as I turned to walk away.

  “Well, if Freddy and I continue hanging out, I’ll just make sure we go to his house,” Tatum said as she began styling her hair.

  “No it’s ok. Jagger and I are fine,” I said a little too fast.

  Whipping her head around, Tatum lit up like a lightbulb. “Oh my goodness. Lila, you like him. You like Jagger,” she said with her know-it-all-tone.

  “Shut up,” I said as I began to walk toward our living room to get my backpack and keys. “We need to leave or we will be late to class.”

  Following me down the hallway, Tatum continued to mock me. “You like him. Holy shit, someone finally broke through that tough exterior of yours. Should I check outside to see if pigs are flying?” she smirked.

  “No, but you should check up your ass and get your head out of it,” I snapped.

  Still smiling, Tatum wouldn’t let me hear the end of whether I did or didn’t have feelings for Jagger. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn’t dated or really talked about other guys since Joel and I broke up. Maybe she was lonely and wanted someone to share gossip and details about her love life with. Either way, I was worried Tatum might be right.

  5

  Lila

  The next few weeks passed and I found myself delving into a new and strange world.

  Tatum and Freddy had become inseparable and at times, I felt like I couldn’t remember a time before he was in our lives. Freddy was really growing on me. He was so protective of Tatum and from his thoughts, I could see he really liked her. He was changing. One of the many crazy traits of being able to read minds was that I could truly hear when someone grew as a person. There was something amazing about hearing a person’s mind transform as they begin to develop feelings so strong for another person that it changes who they are completely.

  Cutting through my thoughts, Tatum waltzed into my bedroom as I sat reading a romance novel on my kindle. I should have been working on homework or revising a script for work, but I just wanted to get lost in a fictional world for a while.

  “Hey, what are you doing?” she asked as she bounced onto my bed.

  “Reading,” I noted as I pointed to my kindle.

  “Well, we have plans. You need to get up and ready,” she demanded as she poked my leg.

  “When are you going to stop bossing me around?” I asked as I tried to sound angry. Tatum knew me too well to ever believe I was mad at her.

  Laughing, Tatum smiled devilishly at me. “Whatever, Lila. You love me because I am so bossy,” she tease
d.

  Rolling my eyes, I saved my e-page and turned off my kindle. “Fine, but we better be going somewhere good,” I stated as I sat up.

  Clapping her hands, Tatum squealed. “Yay, I love when you give in to me. I am sure though, it has nothing to do with the fact that you and Jagger have been hanging out a lot lately,” she grinned as she stood and walked to my dresser.

  She began to check her hair and make-up in my mirror as she watched me from the reflection.

  “What choice do I have? Now that you and Freddy are an item, Jagger is always around. It doesn’t hurt that he is insanely hot,” I sighed.

  “I know right?” Tatum smiled. “We hit the jackpot with hotties,” she giggled. “I really like Freddy and I think you and Jagger are really hitting it off too,” she added.

  She was right. Whenever Freddy came to the apartment, Jagger came too. We would order take-out food and watch movies. Jagger would always sit with me, his arm wrapped around my waist and I would snuggle up next to him. Neither of us ever said anything about it, but it just felt right. When we went out to the bars, we only danced together. Jagger was growing on me and I really liked him, but we hadn’t had any conversations about what our time together really meant.

  AN HOUR LATER, TATUM and I were walking into a trendy new restaurant that had opened up near campus. The menu offered several types of dishes but had a laid-back atmosphere that was perfect for a college town setting. While we ate, we all caught up on our week. It was hard to find time to hang out when we had school and work keeping our boys. I really valued my weekends to just enjoy being with my friends.

  “Hey, Freddy and I are going to go see a movie,” Tatum said as we paid our bill and made our way out of the restaurant. It was still early in the evening, but I wasn’t in the mood to see a movie.

  I looked over at Jagger expectantly, hoping he felt the same way too. He had been quiet at dinner, but it wasn’t lost on me that his eyes never left mine the entire time we were there.

  “You guys go have fun. I think Lila and I will find something to do,” Jagger said as he stepped forward. “I mean, if that’s ok with you Lila?” he asked.

  “Sounds perfect. I am not in the mood to go see a movie,” I admitted.

  “Me either,” Jagger smirked.

  “Look how cute you guys are,” Tatum smiled as she watched me and Jagger closely.

  Laughing, Freddy wrapped his arm around her waist and started to lead her away. “Come on baby. I am sure Jagger and Lila will find something fun to do that does not involve us,” he said as he winked at Jagger.

  Flipping him off, Jagger stood next to me. I loved how safe and secure I felt in his presence.

  My mind raced as I looked at him. I tried to fight to ignore all sounds around me, but Freddy’s words were intruding my mind at lightning speed.

  I hope he finally gets laid tonight. That poor guy hasn’t had sex since the day he met Lila. I wish he would stop being a little bitch and just tell her how he feels. Maybe he wouldn’t be so grumpy around the house anymore.

  I shook my head as I tried to stop myself from listening anymore. Hearing things like that led me to believe that Jagger and I were something more, but until I heard the words from him, I couldn’t believe that what I heard wasn’t more than just Freddy making up ideas in his mind.

  “You ok?” Jagger asked as he leaned in. He took my hand in his and pulled me close.

  “Yes,” I said as I smiled up at him. “I’m ready to go,” I added.

  “Let’s get out of here,” Jagger said as he started to lead me away.

  We walked for a while without talking. I noticed that Jagger was taking me down the same sidewalk that we had traveled down the first night we had hung out. Stopping, Jagger stood next to a large fountain that lit up with blue and gold lights. The scene was magical and breathtaking and almost perfect.

  “I know we just started hanging out, but I like you. I want to get to know you more,” he said as his eyes bore into mine. He had said the phrase before, but each time I heard it, I felt more power leaking through each word. “I am sure Freddy or Tatum have told you by now that I haven’t seen any other girls since we met,” he said.

  I didn’t want to tell him how I knew that was true, so I just nodded in agreement.

  “I kind of like you too,” I said as I looked up and met his gaze. “When I am with you, I feel a safety I have never felt before,” I admitted.

  Jagger had an allure about him that was sure to drive any girl crazy. With his sexy body, glorious smile, and charming personality; any girl would die to have him. And here he was with me, because he truly wanted to be. Throughout our night together, I realized one very monumental thing- being with Jagger provided me with the calmness I had craved all of my life. I didn’t have to worry about what he was thinking. I didn’t have to fear that I may hear a thought that could ultimately destroy me. While, I still wanted to delve into why I couldn’t hear him, I wanted to enjoy this too.

  As our eyes connected, everything in me screamed to reach up and pull his lips to mine. I wanted to run my hands through his hair, but I knew I shouldn’t.

  Grabbing me around the waist, Jagger pulled me close to him. I held his strong biceps for support as he molded our bodies together.

  “Good. I’m glad you kind of like me, because I am going to kiss you now,” he said breathlessly.

  Before I could think, Jagger’s lips came crashing down on mine. I savored the sweet taste as his tongue invaded my mouth and began to dance with my tongue. His hands began to roam down my back until he was cupping my ass in his hands, his grip firm and controlling. I ran my hands up his arms and fisted his hair with my hands.

  I didn’t care that we were in a public park. I didn’t care that people could see us. Kissing Jagger brought me to a high that no drug could ever compare with. He erased all of my doubts and worries and dark thoughts with the touch of his lips on my body.

  As we parted, we both took a minute to catch our breath.

  “Wow,” I said as I smiled.

  “Hell yes, that was awesome!” Jagger yelled.

  “Let’s go back to my place and do that some more,” he tempted as he squeezed my ass.

  I knew I should have said no. I wasn’t the type of girl who went home with a guy, but something about Jagger made me feel like I could be anyone I wanted.

  “Ok,” I said as I let him lead me away.

  TWENTY MINUTES LATER we were stumbling through his apartment door. Lifting me up, Jagger continued kissing me as his hands were cupping my ass as my legs were wrapped around his waist.

  My heart was racing and I wasn’t sure if it was from the adrenanline of the moment or something more.

  “You sure about this?” Jagger asked as our eyes locked.

  The heat between us could have set off a wild fire and I had never been more sure of anything in my life.

  “Yes,” I sais as my lips came crashing back down on his again.

  Jagger began walking backward down a long, narrow hallway. His lips never left mine even as he dropped us down onto his bed.

  Our clothes became an infuriating barrior between us as we began to peal the layers off one another. Lifting my shirt over my head, Jagger began to tease my exposed nipples through my black lace bra.

  I moaned with pleasure as his tongue began to lick me across my chest and than down my stomach.

  My hands were racing to remove his pesky jeans as I wanted more than anything to see what he was working with under those boxers.

  Our kisses deepened as one by one our clothes were gone and now strewn across his bedroom floor.

  Rising up, Jagger placed one hand between my thigs and began to trace the outline of my sex. His touch felt so good, I almost came undone right then and there.

  Noticing my strangled breaths, Jagger looked down at me and smiled. “Oh no, I am not done with you yet,” he said as he thrust himself deep inside of me.

  I let out a scream of pleasure as I felt him fill me com
pletely. He was stretching me to lengths I had never been and the feeling was intoxicating.

  As his thrusts became more rhythmic, we found our groove and I found myself moving my hips in tune with his movements.

  As he continued to massage my breasts as he pumped in and out of me, I felt myself reaching higher and higher to my climax.

  When I couldn’t take it any longer, I screamed with pleasure as my body clenched and exploded with escatasy.

  I felt Jagger tense as his body reached it’s height of pleasure too. Pushing off of me, Jagger drained himself next to me on the bed.

  When we were both done and coming down from our high’s, we lay next to one another as our breaths became more even.

  “That was amazing,” Jagger said as he reached over brought my hand up to his lips. He gently kissed my knuckles.

  I couldn’t hide the smile that was spreading across my face. Hell, I don’t think I had smiled this wide in years.

  “Yes, that was awesome,” I agreed as I turned and looked at Jagger.

  From the glow of the moonlight filtering in through the bedroom window, I could make out Jagger laying next to me. He was illuminated by the light and he looked like a dark angel glowing next to me.

  I began tracing the lines of one of his tribal tattoos and I became mesmerized by the intricate shapes and colors. His body was like a work of art and I wanted to study every inch of it.

  “You like my tattoos?” Jagger asked as he watched my fingers slowly trace his skin.

  “Yes. I think your body is very interesting,” I said, my voice serious.

  “I think your body is sexy as hell,” Jagger complimented as his eyes drank me in completely.

  We were both exposed, our bodies naked and on display for one another. Even though we had just had sex, this was the first time we had actucally had a moment to observe the other without clothes. From both of our reactions, it was clear we liked what we saw.

  “Thanks,” I said, embaressed.

  “You would look great with a tattoo. But you need to wait until you find something that means something to you,” he said.