Breaking Through

by M. A. Lee

  “Yep. Took fucking long enough, but today, we both are getting ink,” Jagger said as she smiled at me and squeezed my hand.

  “Both of us?” I asked in shock. I was just trying to get over the idea of me getting a tattoo. Now Jagger was getting one too? He had plenty of tattoos’s covering his beautiful body, I wasn’t sure what else he would want.

  “Yes, I’ve been wanting to get another tattoo and I finally found the perfect thing,” he said as he led me back to the rooms where the men worked.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “It’s a surprise,” he said as he and Smalls and Isaac all exchanged glances.

  It was clear, they were all hiding something from me. I hated secrets, but lucky for me, nothing was ever a secret. I began to focus in on their thoughts, but damn it if they both weren’t thinking about their girls and sex.

  Shaking my head, I wondered if Jagger had told them to think about anything else but his surprise. I knew Jagger wouldn’t share my secret, but I also knew he would make them have different thoughts if it meant getting his way.

  Jagger winked at me as he saw the realization strike my face.

  “You’re an asshole,” I whispered as I sat on the table.

  Hoping next to me, Jagger sat down too. “I know,” he smirked as he leaned down and kissed me on the tip of my nose.

  Even if I tried, I couldn’t be angry with him.

  “Are we doing this together?” I asked as I noticed Isaac and Smalls getting their ink guns ready along with their other supplies.

  “Yes, it’s a couples tattoo,” Smalls teased.

  I sat back and waited while the men went to work. Jagger told me to hold my breath and squeeze his hand anytime I felt too much pressure. We had talked a lot about me getting a heart tattoo on my back, straight through from where my real heart was beating in my chest. I wanted our initials dripping from the heart, as a sort of symbol for our relationship and the pain that brought us together. I loved the idea and was actually really excited to see the finished product. I knew Jagger would make it a surprise, he was probably worried I would have chickened out on him.

  We sat together, holding hands as the men finished working on us. I heard the front entrance bell chime again and then Freddy and Tatum appeared with us too. We were surrounded by all of our friends and I was starting to grow anxious.

  When the men were done, Isaac and Smalls stepped back and handed me a mirror to check out my back. They walked me through the proper ways to clean the tattoo.

  “I love it,” I said as I took in the deep, crimson red heart that was drawn on my back. It was a small object and would be easily covered by my clothes, but it was something I would have with me always.

  I was helped off the table by Jagger but I was too excited to notice that everyone was circling around us.

  “I’m glad you like it, you look so hot with that tattoo,” Jagger said as he inspected my back.

  Melanie and Tatum came over and ooed and awed over it too.

  Suddenly, Jagger held up his right arm sleeve of his t-shirt and began to show me his new tattoo. A large infinity symbol was drawn in red and black ink. The image took up his entire bicep and as I began to inspect the drawing, I spotted both of our initials in one of the hoops.

  “Hey, that’s us,” I almost yelled as I looked up at Jagger.

  Nodding his head, Jagger smiled. “Now we both are branded,” he teased.

  I laughed but suddenly stopped when I noticed something else written in the second hoop. In silver writing, today’s date was inscribed on his arm. I looked at Jagger with wide eyes.

  “Why would you have today’s date written on your tattoo?” I asked

  Before he could answer, Jagger dropped down on one knee and was handed a small, black box from Freddy.

  I looked around at everyone and saw they were all filling with pride and emotion.

  My breath faltered and I almost couldn’t breathe.

  “Jagger,” I began, but he cut me off.

  “Lila, I have loved you since the first day we met. There was something about you that took over my thoughts and desires after only looking at you once. I fell in love with you because you are strong and beautiful and sexy as hell. I know we both have a lot of healing to do from our pasts, but we can do it together. You are my soul. My heart. My everything. Please, will you marry me?”

  Tears were streaming down my face now as I struggled to realize this was my life. This was real.

  My eyes looked at Tatum who was now crying so hard, she had to wipe her face on Freddy’s shirt.

  “Yes!” I screamed as I locked eyes with Jagger. “Yes, I will marry you!”

  Standing, Jagger lifted me in his arms and held me tight. He placed a strong and passionate kiss on my lips as I held him tight.

  Breaking our hold, Jagger placed me back on the ground and slipped a beautiful diamond ring on my finger.

  “Thank you,” he smiled.

  Looking at him, I saw a tear glistening in his eye. I lifted my hand and wiped away the tear. As long as we were together, we would always be there to wipe away the other’s tears.

  21

  Jagger

  “Damn, you and Lila sure got back together fast,” Freddy remarked as he and Tatum lay on the couch.

  They were wrapped in one another’s arms as they watched a movie on Netflix.

  “Yeah, I guess so,” I said.

  “What’s the plan?” Freddy asked. This caused Tatum to look up and pay attention to our conversation.

  “I am going to make her mine forever,” I said as I laced up my running shoes. And I planned to do just that. When Lila came to me, all the anger and hurt and misery disappeared. All I could see was her. I went out and bought a ring that night and decided that I wouldn’t lose her again.

  After Lila left, drinking and breaking things wasn’t fixing the pain in my heart. I had to find another outlet to deal with my hurt.

  That was when Lila’s words rang through my mind. I had remembered her telling me once that running was the only therapy that she had found to work. So, one day I went out and bought me a pair of running shoes and I just started to run.

  Of course, she had been right, Lila was always right. Running gave me a high I needed to feel again and allowed me to work through the angry shit in my head without hurting anyone or anything.

  “What does that mean?” Freddy asked as he looked at me like I had just lost my mind. “I mean, you went crazy when she left. You were done with Lila. You were so broken. Then she returns and you go back to loving her like nothing ever happened?”

  “Freddy!” Tatum snapped. Her eyes met mine and I could sense her worry.

  I stood and towered over Freddy. He was my best friend, but I didn’t like where this was going. He was supposed to be on my side. To be happy for me. I thought he liked Lila.

  “What are you trying to say?” I snapped through clenched teeth.

  Taking a step back, Freddy held up in hands in defense. “Damn, Jagger. Don’t look at me like that. We are best friends. Family. You know I love Lila, too. She and Tatum are like family to us now.”

  He stopped for a moment and kissed Tatum on the cheek.

  “ I just want to make sure that what you are doing is healthy. You were really messed up. I watched you hurt. If Lila being back in your life is what you need, then you know you have my support. I mean, I plan on asking Tatum to marry me next summer. We haven’t gone through the things you both have...” Freddy paused and thought for a moment. “Look, I know about Lila’s past. I know how she almost ended her life. Tatum was worried and let it all come out one night after Lila left.”

  Freddy paused again and mouthed an I’m sorry to Tatum for spilling her secret.

  “ Fuck man, I had to watch the girl I love more than anything cry all night because she didn’t know what was going to happen to her best friend, then she became strong.”

  Freddy paused and I could see just how much he loved Tatum. He leaned down an
d hugged her. Tatum had tears in her eyes as she looked up at Freddy as if he was the only person in the world. That was what I felt for Lila and I think he was starting to realize that too. I watched as his face softened and realization took over. Tatum already knew how I felt about Lila, but Freddy was harder to persuade.

  “What I have with Lila, it’s different. She is special. We have a connection I can’t explain,” I said as I opened the front door.

  “I know man. I just want you to be happy.” Freddy declared

  Nodding my head, I smiled. “Me too. I will be back in time to get ready for graduation,” I said as I closed the door and took off.

  As I ran, I planned just how I would propose to Lila. I would involve everyone that special to both of us. I would fix this. I would fix her. We would fix each other together.

  22

  Lila

  After becoming Jagger’s fiancé, Tatum and I were happier than we had ever been. Tatum was now practically living with Freddy, even though she said she wouldn’t officially move in with him until after graduation. She and Freddy had even been talking marriage too, but nothing was official yet. However, from the way that Freddy looked at Tatum like she hung the moon, I knew it wouldn’t be long before he would propose. I had started applying at several different places for after graduation. I knew my expertise in screen editing wouldn’t necessarily promise me a job around here, but I had options that could have me working for companies that required secretaries, analyzing and examining documents, or even small publishing houses. The possibilities were endless and I was forever grateful for that new chance at life.

  Sitting on the back of Jagger’s bike with my legs wrapped around his waist was like heaven to me. We had decided to take a ride one afternoon.

  Just the two of us.

  It was perfect.

  I had my hands firmly gripping his hard chest and Jagger would every so often, reach down and squeeze my hand. It was a simple gesture, but it meant the world to me.

  Stopping his bike near an open field, Jagger turned off the engine. Helping me off, he took my hand and led me to an open clearing under a large tree.

  “What are we doing?” I asked as he began to sit down on the thick green grass.

  “I want to just sit here and hold you for a while,” Jagger said as he pulled me down onto his lap.

  Smiling, I gladly sat down and allowed him to wrap his arms around me. This was where I was meant to be.

  Froever in his arms.

  Placing a soft kiss on the back of my neck, I felt sparks fly through me. Giggling, I slightly moved to look over up at him.

  “You know you are pretty amazing,” I sighed.

  “Yeah, I’ve heard that a few dozen times,” he joked.

  Smacking his arm, I acted offended. We both began to laugh and the sound was magical.

  We sat there in the silence, soaking in the bright rays of the afternoon sun and listening to the birds chrip in the tree above us.

  “It’s kind of crazy that we get to do this forever,” he sighed.

  “Tell me about it,” I agreed.

  I wouldn’t have believed that my life would have turned around so fast. I was so ready to live my life with Jagger and see what other boundaries I could find myself breaking through.

  23

  Lila

  “Good morning, fiance,” Jagger said, his voice deep and groggy. The combination was both sexy and dangerous. He had been working late at the shop the last few weeks and I was drowning in last minute projects and preparations for graduation. Everything was very chaotic, but seeing Jagger in the mornings- so peaceful, it just brought a calmness to my life that I needed.

  “Good morning, fiance” I replied, snuggling back into my sheets and next to Jagger’s bare chest. “I have been waiting for you to wake up.” I looked at the shiny diamond nestled on my hand and smiled.

  Glancing at the clock on my bedside stand, Jagger rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “It’s only nine in the morning. How long have you been awake?” he asked as he pulled me in closer.

  Trying to act coy, I peeked up at him to find him searching my face. “I have been up for a while,” I admitted. “I want to talk to you about something and I guess I just couldn’t sleep.”

  Now he sat up, causing me to roll off his perfectly sculpted abs and back to my boring bed sheets. Pouting, I tossed a pillow behind my back and sat up with him.

  “You looked so peaceful sleeping. I didn’t want to wake you. Plus, I know how busy you have been with the shop opening and working extra hours so I thought you needed the sleep.”

  “Don’t worry about me,” he began. “Come on, just tell me what is keeping you awake.” He demanded.

  “I have been applying at companies around the country looking for any job that would hire me. But...”

  Taking his hand, Jagger cupped my face. “Lila, whatever you decide to do, just know I will support you. Right now, I am trying to decide if I want to open a shop myself or continue where I am. I know I need to start preparing for our future and that means change. If you will have me, I will follow you across the world,” he said with so much love and intensity in his eyes I almost melted underneath him. “You are about to be my wife, I need to make sure you understand that nothing will ever come between my love for you.”

  Jumping up, I attacked Jagger as I began kissing him. Jagger was everything a girl could want and he was all mine. Now that I knew he was on board with me, I was ready to find a place to start our new life and journey. As long as we were together, anything was possible and I was happy.

  24

  Lila

  “Lila, you better not make us late to our own graduation,” Tatum yelled as she pounded on my bedroom door.

  I threw the door open and smiled, loving seeing her so anxious. It was the day we had been waiting for, for four long years. We were graduating.

  I slowly walked out of my room and walked to the kitchen.

  Locating my car keys on the kitchen counter, I dangled them in front of Tatum. “I am ready to go,” I said in a steady voice. “I will drive; you are way too nervous to get behind the wheel of a car,” I stated.

  This made her pause and give me a strange glance. “Who would have thought three years ago I would be the one nervous,” she joked, trying to poke fun at our situation.

  She was right.

  “I guess we both have changed,” I replied, throwing my arms around her and enveloping her in a tight hug. “Thank you for always being there for me. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

  We hugged again as I promised to always be there for her, especially during this monumental point in her life.

  Almost forgetting the most important detail of our ensembles, I quickly ran back to our bedrooms and grabbed our caps and gowns still placed on the hangers. I looked like I was a flying blue and white kite as I ran back to the front door.

  “Way to go Lila!” Jagger’s deep voice boomed over the applause and cheers of fellow classmates, as I smiled toward my family and friends and the large audience watching the ceremony.

  I crossed the stage and received my diploma. The ceremony seemed to last forever. All I wanted to do was find Jagger and start our lives together. Once the ceremony ended, I began racing toward Jagger and my parents.

  When I reached Jagger I threw myself into his arms and wrapped my body around him. He held me so close, we almost became one.

  “Congratulations,” he smiled.

  Patting me on my back, my dad smiled and my mom took over and hugged me too. Everyone was so proud of me for everything I had overcome and now, I was going to prove to them that their faith in me was what led me to this moment. I would continue to strive to make myself and my family happy. We all deserved that much.

  After my parents told us they had made reservations at my favorite steak house, they left the arena.

  “So, what do we do now?” Jagger asked as he held me close.

  Leaning into him, I smiled. “We star
t our life together. Our crazy journey brought us together and now I can’t wait to see where it takes us.”

  Wedding planning. Finding a place to live together. Babies. All of that had once seemed impossible. Now, every bit of it was at my fingertips. With Jagger, I had everything I would ever need. It was us against the world now.

  Kissing me, Jagger smiled down at me as he began to lead me out the doors of the arena and into the bright sunlight of our futures.

  THE END

  Epilogue

  Lila

  “What are you going to do?” Tatum asked as we sifted through the millions of wedding gowns.

  After Jagger proposed he and I had decided to have a quick, but small ceremony. We were going to have a six-week engagement and then we would get married in front of the large fountain where we had our first magical moment. It was perfect. It was us.

  Today though was for Tatum. Freddy had come through and proposed to Tatum. He had told us once he was going to wait until next year, but Jagger and I both knew he couldn’t wait.

  My stomach churned as I pushed another large dress aside.

  “I don’t know. I will tell him soon,” I said as I took my bottle of Sprite out of my purse and took a swig.

  After finding the perfect wedding dress; a beautiful white lace gown that sits well on my curves and showed off my frame nicely, I had also discovered that I was pregnant.

  I had promised Tatum I would help her shop for her wedding dress. My wedding was planned and everything was ready to go next Saturday. Our ceremony was going to be small. No guests other than my family and our friends.

  Tatum however, was planning an epic ceremony that required a large dress and several bridesmaids. Most were her cousins and her sister, but still, it would be beautiful and grand, just like Tatum.