Up To No Good

by Victoria Corby

  ‘It was Nella doing the chasing, in a towel,’ Robert said with relish in his voice. ‘That’s a memory I shall cherish for a long, long time.’ His eyes met mine and he smiled at me in that way that did serious damage to my blood pressure and heartbeat. As a result my explanations to Oscar were somewhat disjointed and he had to get me to repeat several of the salient points.

  ‘So what happens now?’ he asked, looking at the two pictures propped up side by side against the wall as if he wasn’t absolutely certain he wasn’t suffering from double vision.

  ‘I imagine that Tom will hand the original, as he planned, over to the American millionaire who desper­ately wants a Sydney to complete his collection and is prepared to pay a handsome sum for it. The copy will go back to Château du Pré to hang on the hall wall, where no one will be any the wiser,’ Robert said. ‘Though since a lot of people seem to be in on the secret by now maybe Tom will come clean about it.’

  ‘Surely not if he ever wants to speak to Venetia again,’ Oscar said. ‘She’ll go into orbit, won’t she?’

  ‘I doubt she’ll mind that much,’ Robert said. ‘She’ll still have the copy one day, and the money’s going towards protecting her inheritance. She stands to benefit more than anyone by the sale of the Sydney too. She gets all of her mother’s share of the château and vineyard on Tom’s death, and under the French inheritance laws she’ll get part of Tom’s half as well so she’ll end up with the largest part of the business.’

  ‘Really? I wonder if that’s why she’s decided to shack up with a winemaker - keep the business in the family so to speak,’ Oscar said with a sly smile, and looked at the two of us with wide eyes. ‘You mean you haven’t heard?’ He knew damn well we hadn’t. ‘She’s gone off with Carlton! Janey told me this evening. He was round at Napier’s all last week laying siege, and apparently Venetia discovered after a couple of days of unadulterated Napier that he wasn’t really as attractive as her adolescent fanta­sies,’ there was an unsurprised snort from Robert, ‘and she moved into Carlton’s pad at the weekend. According to Janey, Venetia’s not saying how long this is going to last, but Carlton says he knows a good thing when he sees one. He was over this afternoon asking Tom for his daughter’s hand in marriage.’

  ‘Very tactful of him,’ murmured Robert. I shot him a quick look but his face showed nothing but a mild amusement which told me nothing of what he felt about this news. ‘And I expect Tom immediately said yes and the sooner the better, thus ensuring Carlton plays in his cricket team again next year.’

  ‘Something like that,’ chuckled Oscar. ‘Janey’s already trying to decide if the twins should wear blue or red velvet as page boys.’ His eyes strayed back to the pictures and he sighed. ‘I still can’t believe it was Charlie who did it. I liked him.’ So had I, I thought sadly. ‘Still, I said Robert couldn’t have stolen the picture,’ he said to me with a certain amount of ‘I told you so’ satisfaction.

  ‘Don’t mention it, please,’ I begged.

  ‘At least you only thought I was a thief this time,’ Robert said lazily, putting an arm around me. ‘I can live with that. Heaven knows I’ve been called a shark and worse enough times by some of our artists over our commission rates, but I’m not keen on being called a pervert.’

  ‘Who did that?’ I asked indignantly.

  ‘You did,’ he said casually. ‘When you told the police I was the Bakersfield prowler.’

  ‘I never did!’ I exclaimed vehemently.

  Robert turned his head around very slowly, and stared at me. ‘Didn’t you? Then what did you tell them?’

  ‘Nothing,’ I said miserably. He didn’t seem to under­stand what I meant. ‘Literally nothing. They rang me for an alibi and I said I didn’t know you.’

  ‘Bloody hell! Is that all you did?’ he exclaimed. ‘I can’t really blame you for that - not after the way I’d been mucking around with Natasha.’ He grinned. ‘And I’d have done much the same to you in similar circumstances, still would if it meant preventing you spending a night with Charlie. Or George,’ he added reflectively. I got the impression he’d happily consign George to a night in the cells even if it wasn’t going to be in the good cause of keeping him away from me. He grimaced, ‘I can still see the smug look on the Sergeant’s face as he came back and told me I’d picked the wrong one to bail me out. I wouldn’t believe at first that you’d shopped me as the Bakersfield prowler. Someone who could do something like that wasn’t acting from spur-of-the-moment temper, but real malice. Not your sort of thing. But that bastard Sergeant had been going on and on about the fury of a woman scorned and revenge beating strong in the female breast, then you said it had been all your fault...’

  ‘I meant you missing your meeting at Chambers.’

  ‘Oh God!’ he groaned. ‘I just assumed... And of course the Sergeant did nothing to correct me. He probably thought I was less likely to bring a suit for wrongful arrest if I believed my girlfriend was behind it.’

  It had never occurred to me that all our friends would have been blaming me for Robert’s actual arrest. Since none of them would speak to me, I hadn’t had the chance to find out either. No wonder I’d been so comprehen­sively cold-shouldered.

  He looked at me contritely. ‘It’s my turn to apologise. I should have realised.’

  ‘Shush!’ I commanded, putting my hand across his mouth to add weight to my words. ‘I got a few things wrong about you, didn’t I? So shall we call a moratorium on the apologies? It’s over and done with - stop that!’ I hissed as he began to nibble my fingers. ‘You’re embar­rassing Oscar.’ He beamed at me unrepentantly and kissed them again.

  Oscar was studiously chewing a piece of cold pizza and gazing pointedly at the two paintings as if he was trying to compare the brushstrokes. He turned back to us with a distinct expression of relief as I separated myself from Robert so that I could fetch the bottle of wine that Charlie had brought. I hadn’t seen any need to tell Robert where it came from; he might have got on his high horse and refused to drink it which would have been a pity since it was very good, much better than anything I ever bought, and probably one of the many reasons why Charlie was so deeply in debt. ‘So what was Tom’s reaction when you told him you’d got the picture back?’ Oscar asked as I refilled his glass.

  ‘We haven’t got around to it yet,’ I said, trying hard to stop myself from looking self-conscious. ‘One or two things came up.’ I heard an imperfectly suppressed snort of laughter from beside me.

  ‘As far as he knows, Nella still has me marked down as one of the great art thieves of the new century, but I suppose we shouldn’t keep the news from him any longer than strictly necessary,’ Robert said. ‘Maybe you could ring him for us, Oscar - from your flat.’

  Oscar grinned. ‘Yes, it’s time I was going, isn’t it? I’ll tell Tom you’re guarding the pictures in a secret location and can’t be reached, and you’ll ring him tomorrow.’

  As I opened the door for him he turned to me with a smile that I knew very well. ‘At last. Taken you two long enough, hasn’t it? I was beginning to think all that effort might have gone to waste.’

  I stared at him in disbelief. ‘Oh come on. Don’t pretend you’ve been trying to throw us together!’ I exclaimed. ‘You’ve never stopped chucking me at George.’

  ‘But I told you I’d decided you and George weren’t suited. Is it my fault that you didn’t believe me?’ he said solemnly, though his eyes were twinkling. ‘Hasn’t it occurred to you just how many times you’ve just accidentally “found” yourself in Robert’s company dur­ing the last few days?’

  I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. ‘You promised to stop interfering,’ I began, then as his face fell in the most comical manner, I laughed and hugged him. ‘But just this once I’ll forgive you.’

  ‘Good.’ He returned my hug. ‘Because otherwise you’d have to have a go at Janey too. It was her idea as well.’ On this parting shot he went off down the steps, casually whistling, turning around to give me
a jaunty wave from the bottom.

  It was beginning to seem as if the only person who hadn’t been actively interfering in my love-life was Maggie, I thought with some amusement as I closed the door. ‘I might find myself getting quite jealous of Oscar if you go on cuddling him like that,’ Robert said.

  I put my arms around his waist and gave him a cuddle of his own which he seemed to think was very satisfactory. ‘Oscar reckons you’re only getting this because of his incomparable matchmaking skills.’

  Robert grinned and kissed the top of my head. ‘I hate to disappoint him, but long before he saw the light I’d already decided that, come what may, I was going to get you back somehow.’

  ‘Had you?’ Keeping my eyes on his chest because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see his expression while he replied, I asked quietly, ‘When was that? Before or after Venetia?’

  ‘Before, of course,’ he said, then added gently, ‘you haven’t been imagining this is some sort of rebound thing, have you?’ He pushed my chin up so I had to look at him. Well, of course I’d had a nasty niggle or three along those lines. I’d been trying not to attend to them, but it was difficult. ‘I’m fond of Venetia, but that’s as far as it ever went. And once I’d seen George being all proprietorial with you and I realised that it wasn’t only a perfectly reasonable dislike that made me want to bop him on the nose, I knew Venetia and I were finished. Just in case you’re thinking I’m some kind of bastard,’ he said with a faint smile, ‘her interest in me was wavering and I knew it wouldn’t be long before she was off like a rocket with a man who interested her more, which is exactly what happened.’ There was a pause. ‘Though to be honest, I’m just a little offended at being dumped for Napier.’

  ‘But she was talking about getting married to you,’ I said, hardly able to think for relief. ‘Said that love in a garret would be all right if it was with the right person.’

  ‘She might have been talking about marriage, I cer­tainly wasn’t,’ he said firmly. ‘Venetia’s always thinking about getting hitched - one reason why she has such a high turnover of men. Most blokes get scared if their date starts thinking about the wedding stationery before the end of their first date. But if it’s Carlton who’s calling the shots this time, it might work out. I hope it does,’ he added with a distant friendliness in his voice that was immensely reassuring. ‘And whatever Venetia may think,’ he added, ‘my flat is not a garret, it’s very nice and you’ll like it.’

  ‘Will I?’ I asked.

  ‘Well, you’d better, since I intend you to spend a lot of time there.’

  I liked the sound of that, but just had to check some­thing. ‘This time I’ll be spending at your place wouldn’t include putting in a bit of time with the washing machine, would it?’ I asked with mock suspicion.

  ‘It’s very nice of you to offer,’ he grinned at my squeak of protest, ‘but I’ve already got Janice who comes in to do it for me. It wouldn’t be fair to deprive her of a job - besides, I’m sure she’s better at it than you are. Anyway,’ he traced a finger around my mouth, ‘you’ll be far too busy exercising your other talents.’

  I smiled at him. I liked the sound of that even better.

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