The Gift of the Demons

by Mette Ivie Harrison

  But there was no one here for me to kiss right now. So I scrambled to my feet and brushed myself off. What was wrong with me?

  “So, uh, time for practice with the knife,” said Nick.

  I liked the name Nick. It could be Jolly Old Saint Nick, for all that I knew. If I squinted, I could imagine him in a red suit with a white beard, holding kids on his lap and making promises about Christmas.

  So long as I thought about that, I wouldn’t have the wrong feelings popping up anymore. Because trust me, there is nothing in the world less romantic than Santa Claus. If you want to make sure a guy never dates you again, just take him to visit Santa Claus. You can’t think about the North Pole, elves making toys for Christmas, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer at the same time as you are thinking about kissing someone. It’s impossible. That’s why they invented Christmas movies. So kids who hate kissing can feel safe knowing that they can watch a movie with their parents without groaning over it.

  “Hello? Demon hunting,” said Nick.

  “Right. Um, one thing. Before we get started, I think you should know that I met a demon today. A pretty powerful one, I think,” I said.

  “You didn’t say those words again, did you?” asked Nick. “I thought I explained several times the danger of doing that.”

  I rolled my eyes. He thought I was that stupid? OK, that helped me get over any tingly feeling I might have had for him, thank you very much. “Of course I didn’t. He showed up in my German class. I think the demons must know that there are people around here who knew Mr. Barry and might be ready to make a bargain. I don’t know.”

  “Wait a second,” said Nick. “He offered you a bargain? You didn’t have to summon him and name what you wanted first?”

  “Um, well, no. Not really. See, Ms. Forest turned out to be a demon, but I guess she was a lesser demon because she got scared when I called her out on it. I was going to use the knife on her, but she sort of popped out of her human skin and then cowered away from me and disappeared and then this other guy showed up. He wasn’t trying to look like a human at all. And he offered me a bunch of—stuff.”

  I didn’t really want to talk about what he’d offered me, or how he’d made me feel with that magic mirror that showed me who I might be, if I were white. I was trying to figure out who I really was, and deal with that. It was hard enough to be a teenager and do that, without someone coming around, offering you an easy way out.

  You don’t have to deal with the pain of being who you are. Just change who you are so that everyone loves you without you having to do anything. It doesn’t matter if you love yourself.

  Nick groaned.

  “What?” Did he somehow guess what the demon had offered me?

  “Demons who don’t bother to look human.”

  “Is that bad?” I asked.

  He nodded. “Very bad,” he said.

  “What does it mean?”

  “It means that because of all the demons crossing over into our world, there’s been a breach of some kind. Which means there are going to be more of them coming, tempting people.”

  “How do you know this? Has it happened before?” I asked.

  Nick nodded. “In history,” he said. “A few times. Always with really bad consequences.”

  “What times in history?” I asked.

  He sighed. “The Fall of the Roman Empire. The War of the Roses. The Thirty Years’ War. The English Civil War. The American Cival War. World War One. World War Two. A lot of wars.”

  “How do demons cause wars?” I asked.

  “People make bargains for what they want. And then other people make bargains for the opposite thing. And then after too many people have made too many opposing bargains, the breach is open and the demons flow in and just enjoy all the havoc. They keep making bargains as long as they can, keep taking souls or whatever else they can get.”

  “Hm. I always figured we made our own wars. No need for supernatural intervention.”

  “We do make the wars. It’s our greed that starts it. The demons just make sure that the wars last even longer than they would otherwise. And that more people die. They love to eat that many souls,” said Nick.

  “Then how does it ever stop?” I asked.

  “Honestly, I think when there are enough dead, the demons slink back and start fighting each other over the harvest. Or maybe they just get too full and figure they’ll leave us alone for a while. It’s not like we’ve ever spent very long as a species not having wars.”

  “So you’re saying that this could be the start of World War Three or something?” Way to make me feel guilty.

  “Or worse,” said Nick.

  Gee, that was helpful. “What could be worse than World War Three?” I asked. Then I shook my head. “Never mind, don’t answer that. I don’t think I want to know. So, what can we do to stop it? To get these demons to disappear and go back where they came from permanently?”

  “Well, there are still the summoning spells, but we’ve got most of those. You never know when they’ll pop up again, I guess. But for now, I think we’ve got it covered. The main thing is to make sure that any demons that appear spontaneously, offering something, are turned down. Maybe we can make a Public Service announcement. You know, like on the radio and TV?” said Nick.

  “There’s no way they’ll let us do that, Nick,” I said. Then I saw that he was smiling. He was making a joke about it. A guy with a sense of humor is a dime a dozen. A guy with a sense of humor when you’re facing World War Three is a rare and precious thing, not to be overlooked. I couldn’t help myself. I threw my arms around him and hugged him.

  Maybe it was the wrong thing to do. He looked really flustered and confused when I let him go.

  “Uh, uh, that’s not such a good idea,” he got out.

  “Come on. A little affection won’t hurt anyone.”

  “Yeah, but—“”

  “It’s nothing more than that. On either side, right? Just friends, Nick?” I said. Maybe I was telling the truth. I didn’t know anymore.

  “Friends,” Nick muttered. His face was still red, and he looked away from me.

  I thought about the woman he really loved. Did he remember her being this young? And being in love with her? That was probably all that was going on. It was confusing for him to think about me being like her and knowing I wasn’t her. And besides, he had come to talk to me about demons, not about anything else.

  “So, you wanted to practice demon fighting, didn’t you?” I said, my tone very business-like.

  “Yeah, demon fighting,” said Nick.

  I got out my knife. “Should we go inside? Or head back to the gym at school?” Actually, that would be tricky, since there would be a ton of football players in there, not to mention other teams. The track team went in some weekdays, and so did the swim team. The wrestling team, too. There would be dozens of people to watch us, not a good plan unless Nick wanted to really out the demons and get everyone on board.

  “No, I don’t think so,” said Nick.

  He probably didn’t have enough of these cool knives for everyone. And if he went around showing them how to throw knives at demons, there would always be some idiot who tried to do it, and ended up getting someone human in the neck instead. Bad news. Demon fighting was supposed to be good for keeping humans alive.

  “So, what do you want to do?”

  “I want you to walk around, acting normal. And I’ll come at you. Then you throw the knife at me. That way, you can practice being surprised by demons. Although if they aren’t showing up in human form, it’s more difficult to kill them. You can’t just aim for any spot on the head and expect them to deflate and die.”

  “Really? Then what am I supposed to do?” I guess it was just as well I didn’t try to kill the boss demon with my knife.

  “You’ve got to get close enough to stab them in the butt,” said Nick.

  “Seriously? The butt? Why would that matter?”

  Nick smiled a little and I wondered
if he was making another joke. “That’s where a demon’s brain is located.”

  “Seriously?” I asked.

  He nodded. “When they take human form, they put their brains up in their heads, but in demon form, they all have their heads in their butts.”

  I waited for the punchline.

  “They do it to protect their brains. I actually think it makes sense. The head is terribly vulnerable, like an arm or a leg. But the butt is protected by all that extra tissue.”

  “Come on. You’re pulling my leg.”

  Nick shook his head.

  “So you want me to practice throwing this knife at your butt?”

  “That’s exactly what I want you to do.”

  “And what do we tell them at the hospital if we end up there?” I asked.

  “It won’t happen,” said Nick. “The knife knows the difference between a human and a demon. It won’t ever hit a human. Do you think I would have given you a knife that you could hurt other people with, the very first time we practice demon fighting? What do you think I am, an idiot?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “So, aim for my butt. It’s going to take some effort to change your thinking. Just remember—human, head. Demon, butt. Say it.”

  I said it.

  “Say it again!” said Nick.

  I said it again.

  The third time, I shouted it.

  Nick nodded. “You’re ready then.”

  “You’re going to run out at me and try to attack me? You really think that’s going to work?”

  “I want you to pretend you are out on a walk. Don’t take a particular route. And be ready for surprises.”

  I stared at Nick, with his gray hair and wrinkles, his old man’s face. He had a young man’s enthusiasm, though. He would be such a great match for anyone, really. He deserved better than what life had given him so far. “You know, there are people who do this for a living,” I said. “They’re called criminals.”

  “But I’m telling you I’m going to do it in advance. And you’re agreeing to it. So that’s not criminal,” said Nick.

  “You don’t think it’s a little wacky?”

  “Desperate times call for desperate measures,” said Nick.

  “You have a lot of energy for an old guy, you know that? You’re like one of those people they show on youtube, who are supposed to be an inspiration to us all. They live every minute fully, and they never give up and let themselves grow old.”

  “I guess I am kind of like that,” said Nick. “I feel young inside, and I guess that shows.” He was staring at me and I had the feeling he was somehow seeing the woman he loved kind of overlayed on top of my face.

  A part of me liked it and a part of me was mad. I wanted to tell him to stop seeing her, to see me instead. Why couldn’t he see me? I guess I was just a kid to him, but it hurt.

  “I’m walking,” I called out.

  “I’m stalking,” said Nick. “Walking and stalking, Stalking and walking,” he chanted for several minutes until suddenly, I couldn’t hear him anymore.

  I turned around—and he was gone. How in the world had he done that so quickly? He had to be somewhere nearby. I kept walking, and kept turning around every few minutes. Then at the end of the block, my own block that I knew better than I knew my own hand, probably, I stared back and tried to think of all the places he might have gone. Up that tree? Around that garage? Over that fence?

  I took a step backwards, then heard a scuffling sound and turned. I had my knife out already, but it was just a little kid. He gaped at me and ran away.

  Great. Now I was scaring little kids.

  I turned around and kept walking. I was starting to think that Nick was never going to show up. I was actually kind of annoyed. I’d walked about a mile and a half and was trying to decide if I should circle around and head home. Maybe Nick had had some super emergency call to fight demons with someone else, and he’d gone off to that.

  I should have known that Nick was just waiting for me to get lazy. I dropped the hand that held the knife to my side and tucked the knife back into my backpack.

  That’s when Nick jumped out at me. He yelled something like “Got you!” Then he threw himself on top of me.

  We landed hard on the sidewalk, and all I could think about was getting the knife out of my backpack again. But then when I had it, I realized I couldn’t really aim it at Nick’s butt. I was holding it at eye level. All wrong.

  “Now what are you going to do?” asked Nick quietly.

  “Um, get out from under you,” I said.

  “And if I don’t want to let you?” said Nick.

  “I can still use the knife to stab you in the eyes,” I said. “It might not kill a demon, but I bet it still hurts.”

  “Good point,” said Nick.

  I swerved the knife at him, not really meaning him any harm, but suddenly I felt the difference in the knife when it was aimed at a human. It nearly jumped out of my hand. My wrist felt wrenched the wrong way and I dropped the knife.

  “That is not good,” said Nick. He reached for the knife and handed it back to me.

  I was still trapped underneath him. “Um, can I have another chance?” I asked.

  “Sure,” he said. He smiled down at me. Then suddenly we both seemed to realize we were in a kind of compromising situation.

  He leaped away from me like I was the Black Plague. Or a demon or something equally terrifying.

  “Don’t worry. I won’t take that the wrong way. I’m not going to get any crazy ideas about you and me,” I said, sort of offended at how eager he was to get away from touching me.

  “That’s not what I—” his voice trailed off.

  “Then what?” I asked.

  He shook his head, and straightened his face. I don’t know what expression he was trying to hide, but suddenly he looked like a statue. “Back to work. Demon fighting,” he said.

  “Right, demon fighting,” I said.

  Twice more, he got me. The third time, I managed to get the knife pointed in the direction of his butt and throw it. I don’t know if it would have landed well or not, but it veered off, completely disobeying all the laws of physics, and clattered to the ground.

  Nick handed it back to me.

  As we walked away from the park where we’d ended up, Nick put an arm around me. “Good work,” he said.

  That was when an older woman came by and shoved her walker at Nick’s knees. “Dirty old man,” she muttered at him.

  Nick glanced at me, his eyes wide and hurt. Then he moved his hand off my shoulder stiffly and walked a good distance apart from me. “I just want to make sure I get you home safely,” he said.

  “I know,” I said. We walked in silence for a while. “So you must have been doing this a long time. Have you trained anyone else?”

  “No,” said Nick.

  “Why not?”

  “I guess I never found anyone I thought was worth training,” he said.

  I felt absurdly flattered at that. “But if you’ve been doing it a long time, you must know how long new demon fighters last.”

  “About ten minutes,” said Nick with a tight smile. “From the moment they meet their first demon to their deaths.”

  “That bad, huh? And how long do the really good ones last?”

  “A year, maybe two,” said Nick.

  “So you must be, like, the best demon fighter ever,” I said. He’d obviously lasted for decades. I was probably in the presence of greatness. I should feel awe and honor, instead of what I really did feel, which was a kind of silly, camaraderie.

  “Not as good as I should be,” said Nick darkly. He didn’t say anything else until we got home.

  Chapter 16

  I had to really talk hard to convince Nick to come inside and get a drink of lemonade before he headed off to wherever demon fighters live in their off-time. And while he was there,, my mom came home from work and saw us standing together in the kitchen.

  “Oh. Fallin.
I didn’t realize—” she stopped talking, because she didn’t know what to say.

  “Mom, this is Nick. He’s one of the substitute teachers at the school,” I put in, even though I knew it was a lie. I didn’t know what else to say. That he was a janitor? That he was a demon fighter? “He came over to help me with some homework I was struggling with.” It was like homework, anyway.

  “Yes. I should be going, though. Nice to meet you,” he said to Mom, and straightened up. Somehow, he made himself look older that way, like he’d put on weight and was struggling to move without creaking.

  Was Mom going to buy this?

  “And you, too. Thank you for your help,” she said blandly.

  “Yeah, thanks!” I called out.

  After he’d gone, Mom turned on me. “A substitute teacher?” she asked. “I would have thought you’d get homework help at school. Why did he come to your house?”

  “He lives nearby,” I said, lying again. It was getting easier and easier with more practice. “I happened to see him outside after I rode the bus home and waved to him. He’s really nice.”

  “Hmm,” said Mom.

  I hoped that would be all, but it wasn’t. Of course it wasn’t. Dad came home and we had dinner. Then I said I had to do homework. I guess that was the signal for my parents to get together and talk about me behind my back. About a half hour later, Dad knocked on my bedroom door and poked his head in.

  “Can we talk?” he asked.

  I took one look at his face and knew immediately this wasn’t going to be a talk about what I wanted for Christmas. “There’s nothing creepy going on between us, I swear. He’s just a teacher who is helping me out with some tricky stuff,” I said. “No big deal.”

  Dad came in and sat down on the side of my bed. I think they taught dads that when they took parenting classes. Make sure that you act casual, no matter how important it is. And keep your head on the same level, so you can look eye-to-eye. You don’t want to seem like you’re talking down.