Fake It 'Til You Break It

by Brandy, Meagan

  “Trust me, Nic. I know it’s fucked up.”

  I shake my head, denying what he’s saying. “What are you tryin’ to do? Why you fuckin’ with me?”

  He holds my gaze, my best fucking friend. The only person who knows the truth about everything in my life. My dad, my mom, Alex. Demi.

  Demi.

  I lunge at his ass.

  “Get over to the truck, now, but don’t run or security will follow you.”

  I look over my shoulder, my smile fading when I recognize the seriousness of Thompson’s face.

  He glares. “Take your friends with you.”

  I glance to Carley nodding my chin and walk as calmly as I can toward our area, the girls a few feet behind.

  It’s dark, but I manage to see between the trucks as I grow closer, and I gasp.

  Nico and Trent are fighting, their bodies slamming into the bumper of Trent’s truck and rolling off onto the small patch of grass in front of it.

  Or more, Nico is fighting while Trent more or less allows him to toss him around.

  “Oh my god! Nico, stop!” Krista hisses, her wide eyes flying to mine as she rushes forward. “Demi, what the hell?!” She glances back.

  Oh my god... shit.

  This isn’t happening, not tonight.

  Not after we finally got to spend some alone time together as a real couple, away from all the fake.

  Away from everyone.

  Thompson is suddenly grabbing Krista by the sweater and tugging her back. “Nu-hu. You’re not gettin’ hurt, girl.”

  “Then stop them!” She starts to cry.

  Thompson glances past her, wincing when Nico lifts Trent from the ground, punching him square in the jaw, not the slightest attempt to block it.

  Thompson looks to Krista. “He’s got it comin’ and he knows it. Leave them. I’ll step in if it gets nasty.”

  Nico nails him in the gut and Trent groans, stumbling around and slamming into the side mirror a foot from where Thompson stands.

  Krista screams again, gaining Trent’s attention.

  Concern lines his eyes and he lifts his hands to Nico, stepping toward the fence to put some space between them.

  “That’s enough. You’re scaring the girls—”

  “Don’t,” Nico seethes, shoving at him again, his shoulder hitting the metal wiring. “Talk about her like she’s yours to worry about and I’ll break your fucking hand, quarterback.”

  “Nico, what’s your problem?!” Krista fights to get past Thompson again, but he holds her still.

  “Say it. Right now, to my fucking face, Trent.” Nico creeps closer to him.

  Trent’s eyes fly my way before going back to Nico’s, pleading. “Come on, man.”

  “You were man enough to do it, not man enough to say it out loud?”

  Trent only shakes his head, leaning against the fence, blood dripping from his lip.

  “Don’t act like you aren’t proud, asshole. Say it!” Nico’s jaw flexes repeatedly, but I can’t see his face. “Now, Trent.”

  Trent’s eyes are solemn, regret slipping over him. “All right,” Trent relents. “Dem and—”

  “Enough of the nickname! It’s one letter, motherfucker!”

  Trent sighs, at a loss.

  There is no calming Nico or hoping he calms himself.

  All Trent can do is lay it out and all I can do is hope we don’t end as quickly as we began.

  Trent does as he’s asked. “Demi and I slept together, but it was a long time ago.”

  “Fuck, man.” Nico’s hands fly from him, sliding over his head and folding behind his neck.

  He blows a harsh breath into the air, and my lungs feel the loss.

  “How was I supposed to tell you? You’ve—”

  “Wanted her since before you had her and told you all about it?” he shouts. “Yeah, I fuckin’ have.”

  Whoa, what?!

  “It was two years ago, and yes, I should have told you when it happened, but you stopped talking to her after everything with your dad, and the threat from—”

  “Watch it,” Nico warns.

  Trent’s body sags, and he tries to reason with him. “I didn’t know she was still inside you, man, and I didn’t realize where the two of you were headed. I thought you dancing with Miranda would have—”

  He cuts off, his eyes darting to Krista and then back to me.

  “No.” Nico shakes his head, running his hands through his hair. “Are you for real, man?”

  “Nic,” he says quietly, walking toward him. “It’s not—”

  “Not what?” Nico shouts, punching into the crossed metal of the fence on the side of Trent’s head. “Not what I think? Then why would my best fuckin’ friend purposely go behind my back and try to fuck what I had going by inserting drama between us? And this on top of the bullshit you just stood here and fuckin’ told me? Let’s hear it, asshole. How the fuck is it I’m supposed to take this?”

  “Trent...” Krista starts forward, and this time Thompson moves to the side. “What’s he talking about?”

  Trent’s face grows taut. “I asked Demi’s dance coach to switch us, make Nico her partner and me Demi’s for the practice part. I knew she’d agree or might have already planned to do it herself.” Trent glances from Krista to Nico. “I was only trying to speed up the inevitable.”

  “Inevitable?” Nico laughs, but there isn’t a hint of humor in it. “That’s my girl—”

  “She wasn’t!” Trent explodes. “That’s the thing you kept forgetting, Nic!”

  Krista gasps as my body stiffens.

  What the hell?

  The fall of Nico’s shoulders is instant and everyone is quiet a long moment.

  “That what this is about?” Nico pushes. “I asked you, point blank. You said no, was that a lie? You want my girl? Or am I supposed to say you want her again?” he spits harshly.

  “I can’t do this,” Krista cries and runs off, Macy and Carley following behind her.

  “Krista!”

  “Krista don’t leave! It’s not how it sounds!” Trent shouts urgently. “Fuck!”

  Nico scoffs, slapping a coffee cup off the edge of the truck, and glares at the sky.

  Krista running off is where Trent draws his line.

  He scowls, taking a small step toward Nico who stands just as tall. “I don’t want to fight with you, man, I love you and I’m fucking sorry. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. I know I deserve everything you’ve got to throw at me right now, trust me, I get that, but the shit you’re saying is way off base, and I can’t stand here and take it because it’s fucking with my relationship. My real relationship,” he broaches.

  My mouth drops open.

  He knew this was fake?

  “I can’t allow that, so I’m going after my girl.” Trent takes a few slow steps away before breaking out in a full run.

  Thompson clamps a hand on my shoulder and walks off next and soon it’s just me and Nico.

  Nico drops his forearms on the hood of his truck and hangs his head between them. “Go away, Demi. I can’t look at you right now.”

  “That’s not fair.”

  “I don’t care. Go.”

  “Just like that? You don’t want to talk about this, ask questions? Explain how he knows this was fake?”

  Nico scoffs, then lifts his head. His face is blank, eyes hardly open. “Don’t even. And what kind of questions, D? ‘Cause I’m not interested in the positions you fucked my best friend in, or how long it lasted, or where it took place.” He blinks carelessly. “You were right, a fake boyfriend doesn’t need to know a damn thing. You do you, D.” He pushes off the hood, and steps toward me, but only so he can glide by. “I think I’ll find Sandra. Take that hall pass you offered before.”

  “No you won’t.” A heavy pressure weighs in my chest, and I spin to face him. “You won’t because you know you’ll lose me if you do.”

  His lip curls. “What makes you think I care?”

  “Neek... s
top,” I whisper. “We’re past this – no more tug of war. I want you and you know it. So just... stop.”

  His face is a picture of rage, but there’s anguish in his eyes. “You fucked Trent.”

  “A long time ago.”

  “And you never felt the need to tell me this?”

  “I didn’t think about it!” flies from me, and a wave of nausea rolls in behind it. “When we talked about my not being a virgin, I thought you were mocking me, using it as a way to talk crap or something. I figured he had told you after it happened. I had no clue he kept it to himself until later.”

  “And still, not a fuckin’ word about it, huh?”

  Damn it!

  Anxiety builds in my gut.

  I have nothing but the truth and it’s a pathetic one.

  “I didn’t think about it,” I say quietly. “I get it’s messed up, and I’m sorry, but I... didn’t think about it.”

  He shakes his head. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that.”

  “Don’t push me away over something that happened before we did. How was I supposed to know we’d be standing here two years later?”

  “You were supposed to come clean when you finally woke up and realized I wanted you.” His anger dissipates as he pushes against me, his fingers lifting to brush across my cheek. “You were supposed to be mine and only mine.”

  “I am.”

  “But he had you first.”

  “So have me last.”

  His lips hit my ear. “I’m walking away, Demi. Let me.”

  Sensing there’s no other choice at the moment, I do.

  After Nico took off walking, I grabbed my blankets from the back of his truck and moved to my car in the parking lot. I texted Carley who told me Krista got home safe and none of them were coming back unless I needed them to, but I wanted to be alone, so I told them we’d chat later.

  Right after, I called Krista and talked to her a few minutes to make sure her and I were okay, but Trent was pounding on her door the entire time, so I let her go to deal with him.

  That was two hours ago.

  Now I’m lying here trying to rest, but sleep won’t come, so it’s about to be a long ass day.

  While seniors are allowed to skip the first half of their schedule after Senior Night events, senior athletes aren’t. We participate at our own risk, so after a night of zero sleep and high-strung emotions, in this gym for practice is the last fucking place I want to be.

  It’s the last place I expected Nico to be, too.

  I should have stayed home last night.

  “Demi,” Miranda snaps. “Stop being lazy with your dip. Roll your hips all the way and tug them into your partner.”

  I clench my teeth but nod and get back into step one, waiting for the music to end so she can replay.

  “Are you going to talk about anything that happened last night or are you going to ignore me, too?” Trent asks quietly.

  “I haven’t had a chance to talk to Krista or Nico, so why the hell would I want to talk to you?”

  “Me and Krista are fine, Dem. You told her years ago, and I explained where my head was at last night. It sounded bad the way Nico said it, but it wasn’t like that at all.”

  I shake my head, going through the moves lazily to keep attention off us. “And you and Nico, are you good? ‘Cause guess what?” I spin, pinning him with a glare. “We aren’t. I shouldn’t even be dancing with you right now! Why the hell did you have to tell him like you did? We could have talked to him alone, explained—”

  “It wouldn’t have mattered, Demi. You don’t know everything, there was no breaking it to him easy. He would have reacted the same no matter what.”

  “But it didn’t have to be then or at a school function with everyone around. I should have thought to tell Nico everything weeks ago.” I get back into position, facing forward. “Look what your way led to for you and Krista.”

  “I told her everything.”

  “You tell her I don’t really have a boyfriend?”

  His hands tense, then fall from me as he steps around to face me with a scowl. “No. I didn’t, so I still feel like shit, like I’m lying to her.”

  I shrug. “Might as well have told her. We’re done with the role play.”

  “Demi.” Concern thickens his tone. “Don’t walk away from him when he gets mad and acts like a dick.”

  “I didn’t walk away,” I hiss. “He did.”

  “Fuck.” Trent’s eyes fall to the floor.

  “Demi,” Miranda sing-songs. “Waiting on you. Again.”

  My head snaps around and I glower.

  Her hands find her hips. “You know what. Switch with Hammons, he needs the help anyway. You two can pair back up for the performance.”

  “I’m not switching,” I refuse. “There’s no point.”

  “You are, because I said so,” she bites out.

  Alex steps up, moving right behind me when Trent bumps past him and moves toward the girl he’s now forced to work with.

  Alex grins. “Hey.”

  I offer a flat smile, quickly cutting my eyes to Nico.

  He stands frozen, glaring this way with a scowling Miranda beside him.

  She says something to him, but he isn’t listening, and after a moment, I have her attention too.

  Slowly, a nasty smirk forms on her bitchy little face.

  She steps toward the rolling speaker to press pause and drags it to the center of the room.

  “Everyone, gather in the center and sit,” she instructs, quickly adding, “Demi, stay standing if you would.”

  I force a blank stare but I do as she instructs, stepping forward a few feet and slightly to the left.

  “Why don’t you ditch the sweater.” She lowers to her knees.

  Slowly, I untie the hoodie from around my waist and toss it toward her, leaving me in my stretchy workout shorts and sports bra.

  “Everyone, Demi is going to perform the full routine, on her own, for you so you can have a good idea of what we’ll be doing Friday night.”

  I run my tongue over my teeth, squaring my shoulders in preparation.

  I don’t know what she’s thinking, I have no reservations about performing for people. I’d dance in front of the President if he asked me to and not bat a damn lash.

  I know what I’m capable of.

  She presses play and I do exactly as she asks, not missing a damn beat.

  She doesn’t look so smug when the music stops and everyone cheers.

  “Again,” she snaps as she sits back, and I move into position once more, my muscles locking when she calls out, “Alex. Run through the first part with her.”

  Is she joking?

  Alex steps up with no hesitation whatsoever, planting his chest to my back, but I jerk away, unease twisting in my gut.

  I whip around, glaring at her. “I’m not doing this.”

  “Excuse me?” Miranda barks.

  “I said I’m not doing this.”

  She crosses her arms, gauging me.

  I look at Nico, but he’s blocked from my view when Alex slides over, reaches out and grips my hips roughly. “Come on, just do what she asked.”

  I don’t even have time to peel his filthy hands off me when Alex is suddenly tackled to the ground, causing me to fall as well.

  Everyone shouts, scooting back.

  “Nico!” Miranda screams. “Enough!”

  Her shrill cries do nothing to derail him.

  Nico jolts to his feet, towering over Alex, and serving him with a swift kick to the side.

  Alex grunts, rolling over as Trent hurdles forward, driving Nico back to stop this from getting any worse.

  “Get the fuck off me!” Nico throws his hands up, knocking Trent’s away with disgust.

  Raw grief is written across Trent’s face, so clear I know Nico sees it, too, but he refuses to acknowledge it, and jumps in his face, clearly ready to shout something else, but suddenly he looks at me.

  I swallow past th
e sudden ache in my throat.

  His nostrils flare, his chin lowering, and I’d swear he’s shaking.

  My body lurches forward, ready to stand and step toward him, but he quickly shifts, bumping his shoulder into Trent’s with a fixed force.

  Nico kicks a chair, sending it flying across the gym floor, and throws open the door with a hard shove on his exit.

  I push to my feet, ignoring all the wide eyes focused on me, and follow.

  “Demi!” Miranda shouts. “You’re not excused.”

  I jerk to a stop, my shoes squeaking on the flooring as I whip around. “Fuck off, Miranda.”

  The girls gasp, some giggle and cover their mouths, but I don’t stay back to hear anything else. I run out the door.

  Nico is nowhere in sight, so I dash to the parking lot, catching his door right before he slams it shut.

  His head snaps my way, his glare quickly turning into shock only to switch right back.

  “Get out,” I snap.

  He scoffs, sitting back in his seat. “Nah, I’m good. You finally got the hands on you you’ve been waiting for, why don’t you run back in there, D? Wouldn’t want to keep your boy waiting.”

  Anger ripples down my spine and I step closer.

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?!” I shriek.

  Nico’s eyes narrow.

  “That’s how you want to play?” When he doesn’t respond, I step closer, forcing words past clenched teeth. “My boy is right in front of me, but if he can’t see that, after everything that’s been said, this week, last night, then my standing here right now is as pointless as ever.”

  I step back, my frustration taking the form of moisture and threatening to spill from my eyes with my next blink.

  His gaze doesn’t leave mine, following with every foot away, I grow, and hope flares in my chest when he suddenly jerks, dragging himself to the edge of his seat as if he was about to step out, but not a half second later those eyes fall to the ground, and when they pop back up, they’re blank. Cold and void of life.

  He doesn’t climb from his truck, but slams the door, blocking himself off from me instead.

  Left with nothing else to do, I walk off, hooking right to take the long way around when I spot Trent headed for Nico, who has yet to drive away.