Angela Carter's Book Of Fairy Tales

by Angela Carter

  When the bridegroom’s family came to take the bride out of her father’s house, she was made ready, and the wooden box was brought along with her trousseau. They took the wooden box and, as she had told them, placed it in the same room where she was to be. As soon as she came into the room and the box was brought in, she threw out all the women. ‘Go away!’ she said. ‘Each of you must go home now.’

  After she had made everyone leave, she locked the door. Then, dear ones, she took the doll out of the box. Taking off her clothes, she put them on the doll, and she placed her gold around its neck. She then set the doll in her own place on the bridal seat, tied a string around its neck, and went and hid under the bed, having first unlocked the door.

  Her husband, meanwhile, was taking his time. He stayed away an hour or two before he came in. What kind of mood do you think he was in when he arrived? He was in a foul humour, his sword in hand, ready to kill her, as if he did not want to marry her in the first place. As soon as he passed over the doorstep, he looked in and saw her on the bridal seat.

  ‘Yes, yes!’ he reproached her. ‘The first time you abandoned me on the shelf and took the food, I said to myself it was all right. The second time you threw me into the toilet and took the food, and I said all right. The third time you removed my body hair and made me look like a bride, taking the food with you, and even then I said to myself it was all right. After all that, you still weren’t satisfied. You tricked us all and took the bridewealth for the forty girls, leaving each of us a turd in the washtub.’

  Meanwhile, as he finished each accusation, she would pull the string and nod the doll’s head.

  ‘As if all that weren’t enough for you,’ he went on, ‘you had to top it all with your aunty act. “Welcome, welcome, aunty! It’s been a long time since we’ve seen our aunty. It’s been such a long time since aunty has washed our clothes!” And you kept me washing clothes all day. And after all that, you insisted, “We must bathe aunty.” By Allah, I’m going to burn the hearts of all your paternal and maternal aunties!’

  Seeing her nod her head in agreement, he yelled, ‘You mean you’re not afraid? And you’re not going to apologise?’ Taking hold of his sword, he struck her a blow that made her head roll. A piece of halva (if the teller is not lying!) flew into his mouth. Turning it around in his mouth, he found it sweet.

  ‘Alas, cousin!’ he cried out. ‘If in death you’re so sweet, what would it have been like if you were still alive?’

  As soon as she heard this, she jumped up from under the bed and rushed over to him, hugging him from behind.

  ‘O cousin! Here I am!’ she exclaimed. ‘I’m alive!’

  They consummated their marriage, and lived together happily.

  This is my tale, I’ve told it; and in your hands I leave it.

  THE DOG’S SNOUT PEOPLE

  (LETTISH)

  ong ago there lived in a forest country two peoples: people with dogs’ snouts and good people. The former were hunters, and the latter tilled the soil. Once the dog’s snout people, while hunting, caught a girl belonging to the good people; she did not come from an adjacent settlement, but from a distant village. The people with dogs’ snouts took the girl home and fed her on nuts and sweet milk; then after a while, wishing to judge of her condition, they took a long needle and drove it into her forehead. They licked up the blood, as a bear licks honey from a hive. They fed the girl, till at last she seemed to be suitable for their purpose. ‘She will be a delicious morsel!’ they said, telling their mother to roast the girl while they were away hunting in the forest. The oven had already been heating for two days. The men’s mother now sent the girl to a neighbouring farm for a shovel, upon which the victim could be thrown into the oven, but by chance the girl went for the shovel to a farm belonging to the good people. She arrived and said to their mother, ‘Little mother, lend our woman with the dog’s snout a shovel.’ ‘Why does she require a shovel?’ ‘I do not know.’ ‘You are a stupid girl,’ said the mother of the good people. ‘Do you not know that the oven is being heated for you? In carrying the shovel you will be assisting your own death, but I will instruct you, little daughter. Take the shovel with you, and when the woman with the dog’s snout says, “Lie upon the shovel!” then lie upon it crossways; and when she says, “Lie more conveniently” beg her to show you how to take your position. As soon as she has lain down lengthways on the shovel throw her as quickly as possible into the oven, and shut the door so tight that she cannot open it. When you have done this strew around you some ashes, and taking off your bast shoes, put them on reversed, so that the front shall become the back and the back shall become the front; then run away with all your might; they will not find you by your traces! Take care that you do not fall into the hands of the dog’s snout people, or there will be an end of you!’

  The girl took the shovel and returned with it, and the dog’s snout woman said to her, ‘Lie down upon the shovel!’ The girl lay cross-ways. Then the dog’s snout woman said, ‘Lie down lengthways; it will be better.’ ‘I do not understand,’ said the girl; ‘show me.’ They disputed a long while, until the dog’s snout woman lay down upon the shovel. The girl immediately seized it, thrust the woman rapidly into the oven and shut the door tight. Then she shod herself, as the mother of the good people had instructed her, and ran away. The dog’s snout men came home and looked for their mother unsuccessfully. One said to another, ‘Perhaps she has gone on a visit to her neighbours; let us see if the roast meat is ready!’

  THE OLD WOMAN AGAINST THE STREAM

  (NORWEGIAN)

  here was once a man who had an old wife, and she was so cross and contrary that she was hard to get along with. The man, in fact, didn’t get along with her at all. Whatever he wanted, she always wanted the very opposite.

  Now one Sunday in late summer it happened that the man and the wife went out to see how the crop was getting along. When they came to a field on the other side of the river, the man said, ‘Well, now it’s ripe. Tomorrow we’ll have to start reaping.’

  ‘Yes, tomorrow we can start to clip it,’ said the old woman.

  ‘What’s that? Shall we clip? Aren’t we going to be allowed to reap either, now?’ said the man.

  No, clip it they should, the old woman insisted.

  ‘There’s nothing worse than knowing too little,’ said the man, ‘but this time you certainly must have lost what little wits you had. Have you ever seen anyone clip the crop?’

  ‘Little do I know, and little do I care to know,’ said the old woman, ‘but this I know to be sure: the crop is going to be clipped and not reaped!’ There was nothing more to be said. Clip it they should, and that was that.

  So they walked back, wrangling and quarrelling, until they came to a bridge over the river, just by a deep pool.

  ‘It’s an old saying,’ said the man, ‘that good tools do good work. But I dare say that’ll be a queer harvest which they clip with sheepshears!’ he said. ‘Shan’t we be allowed to reap the crop at all, now?’

  ‘Nay, nay! – Clip, clip, clip!’ shrieked the old woman, hopping up and down, and snipping at the man’s nose with her fingers. But in her fury she didn’t look where she was going, and she tripped over the end of a post in the bridge and tumbled into the river.

  ‘Old ways are hard to mend,’ thought the man, ‘but it’d be nice if I were right for once – me too.’

  He waded out in the pool and caught hold of the old woman’s topknot, just when her head was barely above the water. ‘Well, are we going to reap the field?’ he said.

  ‘Clip, clip, clip!’ shrieked the old woman.

  ‘I’ll teach you to clip, I will,’ thought the man, and ducked her under. But it didn’t help. They were going to clip, she said, when he let her up again.

  ‘I can only believe that the old woman is mad!’ said the man to himself. ‘Many people are mad and don’t know it; many have sense and don’t show it. But now I’ll have to try once more, all the same,’ he said. But hardly had
he pushed her under before she thrust her hand up out of the water, and started clipping with her fingers as with a pair of scissors.

  Then the man flew into a rage, and ducked her both good and long. But all at once her hand sank down below the surface of the water, and the old woman suddenly became so heavy that he had to let go his hold.

  ‘If you want to drag me down into the pool with you now, you can just lie there, you Troll!’ said the man. And so there the old woman stayed.

  But after a little while, the man thought it a pity that she should lie there and not have a Christian burial. So he went down along the river, and started looking and searching for her. But for all he looked and for all he searched, he couldn’t find her. He took with him folk from the farm, and other folk from the neighbourhood, and they all started digging and dragging down along the whole river. But for all they looked, no old woman did they find.

  ‘No,’ said the man. ‘That’s no use at all. This old woman had a mind of her own,’ he said. ‘She was so contrary while she was alive that she can’t very well be otherwise now. We’ll have to start searching upstream, and try above the falls. Maybe she’s floated herself upstream.’

  Well, they went upstream, and looked and searched above the falls. There lay the old woman!

  She was the old woman against the stream, she was!

  THE LETTER TRICK

  (SURINAMESE)

  here was a woman who had a husband. Well, then her husband was in the bush, and she had another man. But when her husband went to the city, then the other man said to her, said, ‘If you love me, you must let me come sleep in your house.’ Then she said to the man, said, ‘All right. My husband is in the city, I will let you come. I am going to dress you in one of my skirts and blouses, and I am going to tell my husband that you are my sister from the plantation.’ Then when she dressed him in the dress, then that night he came there. And the woman told her husband this was her sister.

  Then at night they went to sleep. But in the morning the woman went to the market because she sold things. Then the man lay down upstairs. But when the woman’s husband saw she did not come down, then he went to look, and he saw a man. Then the man was angry. He took a stick and came running to the market towards the woman. But when the woman saw him coming, then the woman took a piece of paper, then she read and cried. Then, when the man came he said, ‘What are you doing?’ Then she made up a speech. ‘Hm! I just received a letter that all my sisters on the plantation have changed into men.’ Then the man said, ‘They do not lie, because the one who came to sleep with you last night, that one, too, changed into a man.’ But the man did not know how to read. That is why the woman deceived him with such a trick.

  ROLANDO AND BRUNILDE

  (ITALY: TUSCAN)

  mother and her daughter lived in a village. The daughter was happy because she was engaged to a boy who lived in the same village, a woodcutter, and they were to be married within a few weeks. So she passed all her time helping her mother a little, working in the fields a little, gathering wood a little; and then in her free time she sat at the window and sang . . . as she spun. She spun and she sang, waiting for her fiancé to return from the forest.

  One day, a magician passed through town, and he heard singing; she had a pretty voice. He turned around and saw this girl at the window. Seeing her and falling in love with her was one and the same for the magician And so he sent . . . he sent someone to ask if she would marry him. This prin . . . this girl said, ‘No, because I am already engaged to be married. I have a fiancé and I am very fond of him,’ she replied, ‘and in a few weeks we are getting married,’ she said, ‘so I don’t need a magician or these riches,’ because he had told her that he would make her a rich lady because she was poor.

  Then the magician, who had become indignant at her refusal, sent an eagle to kidnap the girl, who was called Brunilde, and it carried her to his castle where he showed her all his riches, all his castles, all his gold, all his money, but she didn’t care about any of it. She said. ‘I will marry Rolando and I want Rolando.’ The magician then told her, ‘If you don’t marry me then you will never leave this castle.’ And in fact he locked her up . . . he locked her in a room near his bedroom. Since the magician slept very soundly during the night and snored, for fear that someone would steal her he had an effigy made of himself as big as he was and then he had bells put on it, a thousand tiny bells, so that if anyone bumped into this effigy he would wake up.

  Now, her mother and Rolando were worried because the girl didn’t come home, and her fiancé wanted to go and kill the magician. But her mother said, ‘No, wait, let’s wait a little.’ She said, ‘If not, he could hurt you, too; let’s wait a bit.’ And they tried one night to get into the garden, but the magician had had a wall built that surrounded the garden and it was so tall that it was impossible to enter. And the girl’s mother sat all day and cried.

  Finally, one day when she was in the forest she came upon a fairy in the form of an old lady who said to her, ‘Tell me, why are you crying so?’ And the girl’s mother told the old woman about her Brunilde and how she had been carried off. ‘Listen,’ the fairy said, ‘listen, I don’t have much power in this case because the magician is much more powerful than I. I can’t do anything,’ she said. ‘However, I can help you,’ and she told her that he had closed the girl in a room and that he had had an effigy made of himself. So she said, ‘You can’t go there because if one of those bells should ring, he’ll wake up.’ She said: ‘Listen to what you should do. This is the season when the cotton falls from the trees. You should go every day and fill a bag with cotton. In the evening when Rolando comes home from the forest, you have him take the cotton to the castle and I’ll help you crawl through a hole.’ She said: ‘I get the bag into the garden and you’ll get inside the palace . . . into the castle. In the castle you must stuff a few bells each night with cotton. Until you have stuffed them all, so that they will not ring any more, then we’ll see what we can do.’ And, in fact, this poor woman said: ‘Of course, I’ll do it. It will take time but I’ll do it gladly.’

  So they talked to the young man. During the day the mother gathered the cotton while he went to work, and in the evening they took the bag of cotton to the castle, and the mother stuffed the bells. Until one night the bells had finally all been stuffed. She went back to the old woman in the forest and told her that the last bell had been stuffed that same evening. Then the old woman said, ‘Take Rolando with you.’ And so the young man was made to enter through the same door that was used to stuff the bells, and the old woman gave him a sword and told him that when they were near enough he should cut off the left ear of the magician. All the power of the magician lies in his left ear, she said . . . In fact they entered the castle and went to get the girl. And the young man went to cut off the magician’s ear. After he cut off the ear, the left ear where all his power lay, the entire castle crumbled, everything crumbled. The young couple took all the gold, the silver, and everything that belonged to the magician. They became rich, they got married, and they lived happily ever after.

  THE GREENISH BIRD

  (MEXICAN)

  here were three girls who were orphaned, and Luisa did much sewing. The other two said that they didn’t like Luisa’s kind of life. They would rather go to bars and such things. Well, that kind of women – gay women. So Luisa stayed home. She kept a jar of water on the window sill, and she sewed and sewed and sewed.

  So then he came, the Greenish Bird that was an enchanted prince. And of course he liked Luisa a lot, so he would light there on the window sill and say, ‘Luisa, raise your eyes to mine, and your troubles will be over.’ But she wouldn’t.

  On another night he came and said, ‘Luisa, give me a drink of water from your little jar.’ But she wouldn’t look to see if he was a bird or a man or anything. Except she didn’t know whether he drank or not, but then she saw he was a man. She gave him some water. So then he came again and proposed to her, and they fell in love. And th
e bird would come inside; he would lie in her bed. There on the headboard. And he set up a garden for her, with many fruit trees and other things, and a messenger and a maid; so the girl was living in grand style.

  What should happen but that her sisters found out. ‘Just look at Luisa, how high she has gone overnight. And us,’ one of the sisters says, ‘just look at us the way we are. Let’s spy on her and see who it is that goes in there.’ They went and spied on her and saw it was a bird, so they bought plenty of knives. And they put them on the window sill. When the little bird came out, he was wounded all over.

  He said, ‘Luisa, if you want to follow me, I live in crystal towers on the plains of Merlin. I’m badly wounded,’ he said.

  So she bought a pair of iron shoes, Luisa did, and she took some clothes with her – what she could carry walking – and a guitar she had. And she went off after him. She came to the house where the Sun’s mother lived. She was a blonde, blonde old woman. Very ugly. So she got there and knocked on the door and it opened. The old woman said, ‘What are you doing here? If my son the Sun sees you, he’ll devour you,’ she said.

  ‘I’m searching for the Greenish Bird,’ she said.

  ‘He was here. Look, he’s badly wounded. He left a pool of blood there, and he just left a moment ago.’

  She said, ‘All right, then, I’m going.’

  ‘No,’ she said, ‘hide and let’s see if my son can tell you something. He shines on all the world,’ she said.

  So he came in, very angry:

  Whoo! Whoo!

  I smell human flesh. Whoo-whoo!

  If I can’t have it, I’ll eat you.

  He said this to his mother.