by E. R. Wade
“Nothing. We’re together.”
“Nothing? You can’t be serious.”
“I’m one hundred percent serious.”
“So let me get this straight. You’ve been pining for years for Jake and when you finally see him, you’re just going to let him go?”
“I don’t know who he is, Ana. We spent one night together. Yes, he left an unforgettable impression on me, but I’m not going to break up with a perfectly nice guy because he’s in town visiting for a few days.”
“You have the opportunity to finally get to know him, and he’s going to be moving to London next month to head his company’s office here.”
What?
“What do you mean he’s moving to London?”
“He’s the new CEO of CXG Global, the financial services company.”
Of course I know CXG. Who doesn’t? They have offices and branches all over the world.
“It’s not like he plans to ask me out,” I point out.
“He will. He asked me for your number, and asked me so many questions about you. He wanted to know if you’re here happy.”
“Please tell me you didn’t give him my number.”
“Of course I did. I know how crazy you are about him. Why would I tell him no?”
“Ana . . .”
“What are you scared of? You told me you left his suite that morning because you were scared he was too good to be true and you wanted to hold on to the perfect memory of him. Are you still scared?”
“No. Why would I be?” I’m lying. I’m not scared, I’m terrified. Terrified to take a chance. Terrified that if we try to be together and it doesn’t work out, I may not be able to handle it well. Look at how much spending one night with him affected my life. “I’m just thinking of my boyfriend, Gavin.”
“No, you’re not. You’re using him to put up a wall between you and Jake. I doubt Gavin will appreciate knowing he has a girlfriend who has the hots for another man.”
“Gavin knows about Jake,” I tell her.
“You told him?” she asks, looking at me skeptically.
“We talked about it at your party.”
“So he asked you about him. Which means he noticed the connection between the two of you.” I don’t confirm or deny what she’s just said. I don’t think she needs me to anyway. “Did you tell him you spent a night with him?”
“I did.”
“Good. Did you also tell him that after only one night, you haven’t stopped thinking about him and it’s taken you almost two years to be with anyone? Did you tell him that as far as you’re concerned, every man pales in comparison to him? And did you tell him that you wish you could go back to the morning you left Jake in bed so that you would never have made the mistake of walking away from him?”
“Ana, that’s enough,” I say, upset that she’s saying all these things.
“You made the wrong decision back then. Make the right one now. This may be your second and last chance of finally getting what you’ve always told me you want.”
SIX
Jake – Two years ago
The best decision I ever made was coming to Vegas a day early before the rest of the guys.
I can’t stop looking at the brown-haired beauty in front of me. When I came down to the bar, my intention was to have a few drinks the find a restaurant and have dinner before going back up to my suite to sleep. But as soon as I walked in, I saw her siting at the bar, and it’s like my entire body zeroed in on her. Without thinking about it, I moved towards her and situated myself right beside her not caring who was on the other side. I struck up a conversation with her and to my pleasure, she was receptive and friendly. She seemed a little shy but it was clear that she was having a hard time keeping her eyes away from me. And I feel exactly the same.
“Would you like to go for a walk? We could just walk down the strip.” I wanted to have some time alone with her and without her friends looking at us curiously.
She smiles at me. She’s a fucking goddess. “I’d like that.”
I take her hand and help her climb down from the bar stool she was sitting on. I’m still holding her hand as we make our way outside the hotel. It fits perfectly in mine and I’m not sure I’m ever going to let go.
As we walk down the strip surrounded by revelers, tourists and bright lights, we talk about everything from our different tastes in music to the places we’ve visited and the one thing we would change about the world if we could. I expected her to say what most people would – answers like end poverty, stop wars – but instead she said she’d reduce population growth. This led to me asking her if she wanted kids, she said she could have one with the right person but only one and she didn’t care about the child’s gender. I’ve never thought much about having children but as I look at her, she looks like the kind of woman any man would want to have lots of babies with – lots of them.
We stop by the Bellagio to watch the wildly-popular fountain display, and then continue our walk until Mia tells me we can’t continue in the heels she’s wearing. I offer to carry her or give her my shoes but she refuses so instead we find an unoccupied bench and sit on it. As soon as she takes off her shoes, I tell her to put her legs on mine and she does. I take a foot in my hands and massage it.
“That feels so good.”
I don’t know what the heck I’m doing because this is the first time I’ve massaged anyone’s foot but I’m glad she likes it. After a few minutes, I take her other foot and massage it too. She’s telling me about wanting to work in another country like South Africa and experience a whole new culture. She particularly likes Cape Town. I’ve been there a few times and I tell her it’s a beautiful city with good food. I learn that she was born in England and moved to Houston for college when she was eighteen. After her graduation, she moved to xxx for a job and then to New York, and then Dubai and back to New York. I tell her about some of the countries I’ve been to, and an edited version of my childhood – no one wants to hear about two people incapable of love and completely uninterested in the lives of their two sons who only stayed together because of money.
We sit on the bench for almost two hours before we decide to go back. [MORE]
I have to remember to buy my assistant, Nora, some flowers and xxx for badgering me relentlessly to take some time off. She’s been going on and on about how hard I work which is nothing new but in the last three weeks it was more than usual. Scratch the flowers. I’ll give her anything she wants. A hefty raise. A cruise. Anything.
“My hotel is a few buildings away.”
I want to tell her I’ll walk her back but the realization that I don’t want the night to end yet stops me. “Would you like to come up? We could order room service or just have a drink together.”
I hold her in my arms, and she melts into me. Everything feels so natural. I don’t understand it. It’s like she’s a part of me I didn’t know was missing until tonight.
“I’d like that.” She looks almost shy which surprises me. We make our way to the elevators with my arm/hand glued to her small waist. I don’t know if it was a good idea to invite her upstairs. Being in public helped me control my urge to find out what’s under the strapless red dress she’s wearing. Now, I’m going to be alone in my suite with her. This is sure to test the limits of my control.
“May I use your washroom/restroom/bathroom?”
“Sure. It’s the door on your left.”
She comes out [MORE]
“I was thinking we could –”
She walks up to me and leaning up, brushes my lips with hers. My arms instinctively curve around her waist. He sultry brown eyes look into mine, and I fall. Her lips brush mine again and her fingers stroke the back of my neck.
I take control of the kiss and claim her lips. Her sweet scent engulfs me and her soft moans make me deepen the kiss. She parts her lips for my tongue. This kiss is everything. I break the kiss and pull away from her. If I don’t stop now, we’re going to end up in my bed and I need he
r to know where this is going. Her lips are flushed pink and her lips are swollen making me want to claim them again.
“Mia, I’m not stopping because I don’t want you because believe me, I want you so damn much. I just need to be sure this is what you want.”
“I’m sure,” she says softly.
“This is going to end with us in my bed,” I tell her, staring into gorgeous light brown eyes which are filled with desire.
“I want you,” she says, putting her soft hand on my cheek.
I don’t wait for her to utter another word before my mouth swoops down and captures hers in a mind-bending kiss.
I peel off the dress that’s been driving me crazy all night. She’s wearing a black and gray strapless bra and a G-string. She looks like a goddess. This is perfection.
I want to make this night memorable for her. I’m going to take my time and savor her and give her as much pleasure as she can handle.
[MORE + condom]
I enter into her slowly, sinking deep into her tight core. Her inside grips me and I bury my face in the crook of her neck to stop myself from moaning out loud. Fuck. She feels so good.
This doesn’t feel like just sex. It feels like our first time but also like we’ve been together for a long time and are comfortable with each other’s bodies. It feels like what I imagine two people in love feel when they are together.
I stop myself again from moaning her name. This woman is unraveling me like no other. I would never have imagined ever feeling like this. I sink into her again slowly and slide back out. Perfect. She feels fucking perfect. The soft noises she’s making under me are driving me insane. I never want us to stop.
“You’re so fucking sweet, Mia. I want to have you ”
After we make love – because I sure as shit can’t call what we did anything else – we stay in bed and feed each other the chocolate covered strawberries and champagne I ordered from room service. The second time, she rides me and I can’t take my eyes and my hands off her perky/full tits. The third time is faster and harder, and just as amazing. I watch her fall asleep in my arms. [She was trying to stay awake. She didn’t want to give in to the exhaustion I’m sure she was feeling. She wanted to stay awake and talk with me. I guess I’m not the only one aware of how soon our time together is coming to an end. I kiss her forehead/temple] and I think about seeing her again. I live in Los Angeles and she lives in New York but I’m confident that we can make a relationship between us work, because giving her up [losing her] is not an option. We’ll see each other every weekend and we’ll talk every day. I eventually let exhaustion lull me to sleep while thinking of all the decisions and plans we need to make together when we wake up.
SEVEN
Mia
“Wait. How did I miss all this? Your Jake is Luke’s brother?”
“He’s not my –”
“Yeah, they’re brothers,” Ana says. “And you missed it because you and Cole were busy in the cloakroom. The cloakroom, Rae. At my engagement party. Really?”
Rae looks embarrassed. She always tries to come off as if she’s hardcore and nothing fazes her but that’s so far from the truth. It’s a shell she had to adopt after her ex-husband cheated on her and got another woman pregnant. She only found out when the woman paid her a visit and spilled the beans on the affair. But thanks to Cole’s love and loyalty, Rae doesn’t need to hide behind a shell anymore. “We were – We were –”
“Save it. Good thing you can hide the blush I’m sure is covering your face right now,” Ana teases. “Well, I guess that makes up for the time Luke and I made good use of one of the bathrooms in your house.”
“What? In our house? You live down the street.”
“We couldn’t wait.”
Rae groans. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
“I never joke about sex with Luke, you know that. The man is a god in the sack.”
“Okay. Okay. Enough. But please tell me that it wasn’t in the master bathroom.”
“Don’t worry, it wasn’t. We couldn’t wait to go all the way upstairs.”
Rae just shakes her head, trying and failing to hide her smile.
“Guys, can we focus here? I’m glad you both have awesome sex lives but I’m in a fix here,” I say, interrupting them.
“Sorry, Mia. Ana, you didn’t know Mia’s Jake is Luke’s brother when you met him months ago?”
“No. I had no clue. You both know we met about two months ago when he spent a night in London on his way to Germany. He only stopped by because he wanted to see Luke and meet me, so the three of us had dinner together. He hasn’t been back in London since then so the next time I saw him was at the engagement party.”
“Besides, I was nervous the first time we met. Luke’s very close to him and looks up to him so I wanted to make a good impression. I really wanted him to like me. And because of what Luke had told me about him, it would have never occurred to me that he was your Jake.”
Curious, I ask, “What did Luke tell you?”
“That he doesn’t date. He doesn’t do relationships at all. Which isn’t the impression I had of your Jake.”
I’m surprised by Ana’s revelation. I guess this goes to prove that I was right to be wary. I really have no idea who he is.
[Luke calls Mia. Pops up in her house.]
n.
EIGHT
Jake
“Why do you keep checking your phone?”
“I sent Mia a text. I’m waiting for her response,” I admit. I don’t tell him that I called her last night and got her voicemail, and I’ve been torturing myself about what she was doing and if she’s with Gavin. Why hasn’t she responded to my text?
Luke and I are in his house. He and Ana invited me over for breakfast, and since we finished our meal, Luke and I have been in their living room talking. Ana is going over to Rae’s. I think they’re going shopping or something together. Mia isn’t going with them. Where the hell is she?
“Maybe you should look for someone to help you forget her,” Luke suggests carefully.
I send him a withering look. “Why the fuck would I do that?”
Undaunted by my annoyance at his suggestion, he says, “Because I think it’s time you move on from her. She’s with someone else.”
“I didn’t wait for her [stay faithful] for two years, just to sleep with someone else when she’s right in front of me.”
“Wait, what? You haven’t been with anyone in two years?” Luke looks incredulous. I didn’t mean to reveal that to him or anyone else for that matter. It’s no one’s business. “You’ve been celibate? Because of a chick? You may as well be a monk. Fuck, man. I’m not sure I can do that.”
I didn’t exactly plan to be celibate but after that night in Vegas, my head has been so wrapped up in Mia that I had no interest in being with anyone. Not even Caroline, who had been my regular (companion/partner) for a year. Our arrangement had been strictly about sex which we found mutually beneficial. She was an ambitious prosecutor with no time for emotions. It was the perfect setup for me until Mia. It’s weird but even thinking about being with anyone else felt like I was betraying Mia.
“That’s really good to know, Luke,” Ana says from the doorway, taking Luke and me by surprise. She sends a scathing look to her fiancé. Way to put your foot in your mouth, brother. Seeing the sheepish/disconcerting expression on Luke’s face almost makes me smile. Then she turns to look at me, her expression open (and friendly). “That’s sweet, Jake,” she says earnestly. “You should tell her. She probably won’t be thrilled with what I’m about to tell you, but you should know she hasn’t been with anyone since you. She hadn’t been on a single date. Well, until she met Gavin. Gavin’s a great guy but my money is on you.”
Her words give me hope. She starts to leave but when she gets to the door, she turns back to look at me and adds, “By the way, did you know Luke introduced Gavin to Mia?” My delight at finding out that Mia hadn’t dated anyone until recently fades. I turn to my b
rother who groans and closes his eyes as if in pain. He opens his eyes and sees me glaring at him. I’m pissed. Mia would still have been single if he hadn’t introduced her to douchebag. “And he’s been trying to do more than just going out on dates. Who knows how far Gavin has convinced her to go?”
Luke makes what sounds like a strangled/choking sound. “Fuck.” Looking at his fiancée, he says, “Thanks, baby. You know you’re going to pay for that tonight, right?”
She blows him a kiss. “I’m looking forward to it.” She walks out with a smile on her face.
Luke reluctantly turns back to me to meet my glare. “Jake, like I told you, I had no idea she’s your Mia,” he says lightly [placatingly], wanting to placate me. “And I didn’t exactly introduce them. Gavin came to watch soccer, I mean football, whatever at my house, and Mia came over with Ana, Rae and Cole. There was no way I could have known that he and Mia would get together.”
I know he’s right, he couldn’t have known what would happen but still . . .
“If it helps, I don’t think they’ve had sex yet. Mia told him she wants to take things slow.”
Call me a (neatherndal) but the tightness in my chest eases at his words. I know I don’t have any claim on her but I’m certain we belong together and I feel possessive of her.
“I have to go.” Going back to my house and hitting the gym sounds like a good way to get rid of my frustration (and anger), and it’ll give me time to think of my next move with Mia.
“Jake?”
I shake my head at my younger brother. “Not now, Luke.”
The drive back to my house doesn’t take long. (Add more?)
The truth is that I don’t blame Luke, and I have nothing against Gavin for asking her out. Mia is a beautiful woman. How can any red-blooded man resist her? But I need him to step away [aside] now. I have no doubt that he can see how much Mia is affected by me. He knows. So I need him to do us all a favor and step aside.
If Luke had mentioned Mia’s name to me just once, I’d have asked if she had xxx hair and xxx eyes, and I’d have been on the next flight to London. I think [The thought] of having her so close, and then letting her slip through my fingers . . . after longing for her for years . . . No, that’s not going to happen. I’m not letting her go. Not ever.
