Seven

by Susan Renee

  “I like you Savannah. I’ve liked you for a long time and I still like you. I know…” I watch as he swallows again. “I know we don’t know each other that well, but you’re so damn easy to talk to and I like who I am when I’m with you. You’re beautiful and you’re funny, and you’re beautiful and, damnit, I know I said that already.” The fact that he’s flustered softens my heart and gives me the giggles. Bryant Wood is cute when he’s trying to be sweet.

  “Savannah, I know I said last week that I wasn’t going to kiss you until you knew it was going to really mean something, but I’m really not sure how much longer I’m going to be able to look at you and not taste those beautiful lips that are always sitting there waiting to be kissed, because on a scale of one to four I…”

  I quickly place my pointer finger on Bryant’s lips to stop his nervous ramble. It’s cute and I completely understand the feeling. “Bryant?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I don’t care about your scale right now. I like you too,” I whisper.

  “You do?” he whispers back.

  “Mmm hmm.”

  “Oh thank…” He closes his eyes momentarily. I watch his Adam’s apple move up and down as he swallows again. I smile at how cute he is right now. “Does that mean I can, umm…” He looks down at my face, my lips, and back up at my eyes, asking permission. I know he wants to kiss me right now. And after an entire day of wondering why he hadn’t done it yet, I’m eager to let him.

  I nod my head from underneath him. “Yeah, I think that would be okay.”

  He nods. “Good. Yeah, good.”

  I smile shyly as I watch him lower his face to mine while still holding me underneath him. With one hand he brushes back the hair from my forehead and cradles my face in his hand. He looks down at my lips one last time and back up to my eyes before I feel the warm soft contact. His kiss is ever so gentle. His lips are soft and meld to mine with perfect ease as he kisses me once and then twice. The third time my breath hitches when I feel his fingers on my cheek holding me to him while our kiss deepens. My eyes closed, I try to breathe in this moment. His lips aren’t Shawn’s lips and although I half expected to freak out over that – I haven’t kissed another man since before marrying Shawn – there’s something about Bryant’s kiss, the way he holds my face, the feel of his body hovering over mine that just feels comforting and good and safe. A soft moan escapes me as my desire for more strengthens. My lips part slightly bolstering Bryant’s confidence as his tongue slowly entwines with mine.

  Good God, the man can kiss.

  Bryant pulls away a moment later and smiles down at me. Leaning down once more he kisses my forehead and quickly rubs his nose against mine. He says my name quietly as he sighs.

  “Was that everything you thought it would be?” I ask, smiling up at him.

  “And then some. I’m half tempted to do it again, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop.” Watching his face, I can tell that he’s trying to reign in his control. This is a man who is used to being the horn-ball, the player, the man who always gets what he wants. It’s oddly sweet to watch him try to be respectable, and compassionate, and gentle. That says more to me than he realizes. I push myself up just enough to kiss his cheek.

  “Thank you, Bryant.”

  “For what?”

  “For taking your time. For being gentle. For showing me that you’re not the cocky douchebag I always took you for.”

  He laughs. “I probably deserved that, but you make me want to be better, Savannah. I’ve wanted it for years. I just never had a reason to want it until you came along. You’re worth waiting for.”

  I place my hand on his cheek and look into his eyes. “Was I worth a completely smashed bag of pretzels?”

  “Huh?” He raises an eyebrow and I giggle at his response, turning my body just enough to grab the bag of pretzels that was underneath me.

  “When you flipped me over I landed right on the pretzel bag. I think we killed it.” I frown as I hold up the bag of now crushed pretzel pieces. We laugh together as he helps me up from the ground. He takes the bag of broken pieces and tosses it back in the cooler nearby. Winking at me he explains, “Well now you don’t have to worry about taking the last bite.”

  It’s been a perfect afternoon with Bryant, but we need to head back home. He needs to be at the bar tonight, so we can’t be away for the entire day. It’s okay though; I have more than enough to do to keep myself busy for the evening.

  Holding Bryant’s hand, we make our way to the end of the trail to where his truck is parked. He helps me in and I wait as he loads the cooler and our blanket into the back. The truck is pleasantly warm after spending the morning sitting in the sun. All the fresh air from this morning coupled with a nice warm truck is the perfect invitation for an afternoon nap. I resolve to stay awake for Bryant’s sake though. It probably doesn’t bode well for a girl if she falls asleep on a first date.

  The windows are slightly down, causing my hair to blow in the warm breeze. We both have our sunglasses on, hiding the fact that since that kiss up on the trails, we’ve both been a bundle of smiles. It’s like kissing me has finally put a spring in Bryant’s step and if I’m being honest with myself, it has taken a small weight off of my burdened shoulders. I didn’t realize how much pent up tension I was carrying around with me until I was able to release a little bit of it. They say that kissing someone for more than fifteen seconds releases endorphins, like a shot of adrenaline to the body.

  Maybe I should kiss him more often.

  Bryant turns the radio on and immediately starts singing. I can’t help but laugh watching him. I’m not familiar with the song but it’s obviously one of Bryant’s favorites. He knows every damn word. He reaches over and squeezes my knee while he sings to me.

  Damn his voice.

  How did I not know he could sing?

  I’m catching phrases like being all over the road and not being in control because of the girl sitting next to him. It’s cute and quite catchy. “What’s this song? I don’t know it!” I smile. I don’t want it to end because I like the feel of his hand on my leg. I lay my hand on top of his to let him know I’m okay with him keeping it right where it is.

  “It’s Easton Corbin. You don’t know him?”

  “Nope. But I also don’t always listen to country music.”

  “Oh yeah? What do you like? You can change the station.”

  “No it’s fine,” I purse my lips. “I’m eclectic. I like a little of everything really.”

  Thinking he’s going to call my bluff, Bryant smirks and says “Bullshit.”

  I gasp but laugh out loud at his response. “What? What do you mean ‘bullshit’?”

  “There’s no way you’re a rap girl.”

  “Oh no?”

  “Nope.” He’s adamant that he knows enough about me to know my musical preferences.

  “Suit yourself smarty pants.” I shrug my shoulder and smirk as I look straight ahead out the front window of the truck.

  “You should come by the bar tonight. Bourbon Creek is playin’ and they’re doing live karaoke night,” Bryant says over the radio.

  “Oh yeah? Karaoke huh?”

  “Yep.” He nods. “There’s always a crowd on those nights. Blake Browning, he’s the lead singer for the band, always knows how to get people up on stage for a good time and I swear he can play just about anything. He’s genius! You should come. I promise you won’t leave unhappy. That’s for sure.”

  “Hmm…maybe I will. If I come, am I going to be forced to stand up on stage?” I ask a little frightened at what Bryant’s going to say…but not that frightened. I can think of a song or two that would surprise the shit out of the guy sittin’ next to me.

  He thinks he knows me!

  Bryant let’s out a chuckle. “Would you like to? Because I can arrange that.”

  “No. I’m not saying that. Just curious. Maybe I’ll call Rachel and see if she wants to hang out.”

  “Good idea. She’ll c
ome for sure. She loves karaoke night.”

  I take my phone out of my pocket and shoot a quick text to Rachel to see if she’s available to go with me tonight.

  Me: Hey girl. I need your inner Jennifer Hudson tonight. You game? #karaoke

  Rachel: Sure! Does Bryant know?

  Me: Nope…and it’s gonna stay that way.

  Rachel. Shit! This ought to be good! I’m in.

  Immediately a long list of songs plays through my mind of what I could perform and oh, how shocked Bryant would be. The thought causes the grin already on my face to widen. I look down for a moment and pretend to pick non-existent lint from my jeans. The ride back home is warm and comfortable. With my body turned slightly toward Bryant I’ve been able to talk with him, laugh with him, and just watch him as he drives us home. Sometime during the ride, I close my eyes for a second listening to Bryant’s voice as he sings softly.

  Is that a Brad Paisley song?

  It’s sweet.

  Is he singing to me?

  I hear him sing the words “She’s everything to me” and how I’m a warm conversation, a fighter when I’m mad and a lover when I’m loving. I keep my eyes closed so that he thinks I’m sleeping, and because the sound of his voice when he sings does things to parts of my body that I wasn’t sure still worked.

  I could get used to this.

  Chapter 17

  Bryant

  I’ve been driving for an hour and a half. Not because it took us that long to get home but because the beautiful angel sitting next to me in my truck fell asleep and I don’t want to wake her. She looks comfortable and peaceful and damn, if she isn’t a vision to look at. I’m easily falling for her. How can I not? She’s perfection. She’s everything I always wanted but couldn’t ever hold on to. The life I have, living with Ivy, being her superhero, is one I never thought about having in the past, but I’m content. I can be Dad and still have time to be Bryant. I can work hard at the bar and know that Ivy is taken care of, that I’m doing all of this so that she’ll never want for anything. I can keep her healthy and happy and safe. That’s all that matters, it’s all that has ever mattered. But all of that changed in one damn instant, the moment she turned around that night in my bar. Savannah Turner took my breath away, made me weak in the knees and immediately hungry for something more. She makes me want to pull this truck over to the side of the road and make out with her until our lips are raw, but instead, I continue driving in circles around the outskirts of town, while she sleeps. Not only does it mean extra time spent with a beautiful girl in my presence, but the quiet time gives me time to reflect on how I even got here.

  *****

  January 2, 2013

  The waiting room feels cold even though it’s painted in vibrant primary colors. I thought waiting rooms were supposed to be calming, but this room, with blue and green and red striped walls with yellow curtains around the windows, is anything but. I get it. It’s a children’s hospital. Everything is happy and cheery. Maybe I’m just going crazy because my little girl has been laying on a surgical table for two hours now and I haven’t heard anything yet. Dr. Fellgud said it would take a while; I just expected to hear something by now.

  “You should stop drinking the coffee, honey. It’s making you jittery.” My mom says calmly. She likes to think she’s the calm one, but I’ve been watching her for the past hour twiddling her thumbs with Olympic speed, and if her head isn’t sore from constantly turning and looking at the door expecting someone to walk in, I will be shocked.

  I’m pacing the room for what has to be the one hundred and twenty fifth time. “Yeah I know. I just really thought I might hear an update by now. I don’t know whether to worry or not.”

  “No news is good news, Son. It’ll all be fine. Ivy is a fighter. She’ll pull through this with flying colors.” My dad says from behind his newspaper.

  “I know, Dad. I know.” I roll my eyes hearing his words go in one ear and out the other.

  No news is good news, my ass.

  What if there’s no news because they’re arguing over which one has to tell me that she’s gone?

  Exasperated, I throw myself in a waiting room chair. Before I go stir crazy I pull my phone out of my pocket so that I can text Sloan. At least checking on the bar gives me something to do.

  Me: Hey Sloan, is everything ok there?

  Sloan: Hey! Is Ivy out of surgery? How did it go?

  Me: No. Still in surgery. Hoping to hear something soon.

  Sloan: No news is good news man! Yeah the bar is fine! Pretty light afternoon.

  Me: Good.

  Sloan: Hey did you hear the news about your girl, Savannah Sanders?

  Me: Asshat. She was never my girl and no. Why?

  Sloan: I heard she was in a bad accident last night. Lost her husband and child.

  WHAT?

  “Holy fucking shit.” I mumble covering my mouth in shock.

  “What is it?” My mom asks anxiously.

  “Sloan just told me that Savannah Sanders was in a car accident last night. He said her husband and child were killed.”

  “What? James and Margie’s daughter? Oh Lord, have mercy!” Mom cries. “That poor girl. I’ll need to send them a card right away. I can’t imagine what they’re going through losing that grandbaby that they loved so much.” She dabs at her cheeks with a tissue while I sit and stare at the text from Sloan on my phone. I still haven’t replied to him. I don’t even know what the fuck to say.

  Me: Thanks for letting me know.

  Sloan: Uh, sure thing. You ok?

  Me: Yeah. I can’t think about it now. Ivy comes first.

  It’s the only reply I can think of right now because it’s true. Ivy comes first. She has to. But damn if my heart isn’t crumbling for the girl I was in love with all those years ago.

  *****

  September 30, 2013

  Ivy is finally asleep after a fussy battle of having to take new medicine that she doesn’t like. Why do those pharmacies tell us that it’s a yummy grape flavor when in reality they all taste like Robitussin? It’s just gross. I feel bad for my baby girl, but taking that medicine is important. She’ll get used to it. The weather is still mildly warm this evening so I grab a beer and the baby monitor and head outside onto the deck off the kitchen. May as well enjoy some peace and quiet and fresh air while I can. The solidarity after a rough day is nice.

  I’m two sips into my beer when my phone rings in my pocket.

  So much for solidarity.

  It’s my mom undoubtedly calling to check in on Ivy. “Hey Mom. What’s up?” I greet her.

  “Hey Honey, I was just calling to see how my little princess did tonight. Did she like her new medicine?” Mothers can be so predictable…or in this case, grandmothers.

  “She did alright after a nice screaming fit. They should make that shit dye free. She took one look at the purple color and wanted no part of it. I got it in her eventually. An extra Hershey kiss did the trick.”

  Mom chuckles on the other end of the line. “Smart thinking, Daddy. Good job.”

  “Yeah, whatever gets the job done at this point. How are you and Dad? Everything okay?”

  “Oh yes. We’re fine. We had a nice day out antiquing this afternoon and we took a drive down to the lake.”

  “Sounds like a nice day.” Retirement is obviously treating them very well. We talk for another ten minutes before a quick silence falls between us.

  “Oh hey, did I tell you that I ran into Margie Sanders the other day?” she asks.

  Savannah’s mom.

  I haven’t heard anything about her in months.

  “Nope. Why? Is she okay?” I ask.

  “Of course. She’s fine. It’s her poor daughter that isn’t doing well I guess.”

  Savannah?

  I sit up a little straighter, not that anyone can see me. “What do you mean not doing well? Is she sick?”

  “Depression I would guess. Margie mentioned that she was in therapy but still pretty despon
dent over her loss. Who wouldn’t be, really? But anyway, Margie said they moved her back home so she’s staying with them now. Hopefully that helps her a little bit.”

  She moved home?

  She’s closer now?

  If only we had been closer in high school.

  I could go to her.

  I could help her.

  Anything.

  I try to sound nonchalant even though my heart breaks again for Savannah. “Yeah. She probably shouldn’t be alone. She’ll do better being around people.”

  “You guys were friends in school right? Maybe you should check in on her sometime,” Mom suggests.

  There’s nothing I would love more, Mom.

  “We knew of each other. I wouldn’t say we were friends. Not that we weren’t friends…” I correct myself. “We were just in different social circles. Maybe if I run into her I’ll see how she’s doing.”

  “Good idea,” Mom says. “It wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to have some company either.”

  “Yeah, Mom. I hear you.”

  “I love you, Honey. You sleep well and give a big hug to Ivy for me in the mornin’.”

  “Love you too, Mom. Will do. G’night.”

  *****

  July 20, 2014

  The day is shaping up to be the steamy hot day that all the weather stations warned us about. I took Ivy to the park earlier rather than later in the day so that we could avoid the heat during the afternoon. I even surprised her with an ice cream cone before lunch which put me at Best-Daddy-in-the-World status as far as she’s concerned.

  “Mail Daddy! I get the mail okay?” If there’s one thing Ivy likes to do, to make her feel like she’s a big girl, it’s pulling the mail out of the mailbox.

  “Sure thing Princess. Let’s walk down and get it together.” I take her hand as she leads me back down the driveway where our mailbox sits near the road. I lift her little body enough that she can pull down the lid and grab today’s mail. “Biws biws biws.” She says as she looks at each envelope in the small stack. “Nuffing fun. Here, Daddy.” She hands me the mail and skips back up the driveway where she waits for me on the porch. It’s the same response she gives every day, but I laugh anyway. Through my laughter I finger through the mail one envelope at a time. It seems Ivy is right. Medical bills, medical bills, medical bills. The cycle never ends as far as those are concerned, but I don’t give a rat’s ass. I would come up with a million dollars to pay for Ivy’s care if I had to. She’s worth it. Her body went through hell seven months ago and I’m so proud to see her doing okay now. The around-the-clock care, the strict timing of her medicinal needs, the constant worry as her parent, it’s all worth it to see her on days like today. It’s like that liver inside her was made for her.