More pacing.
Molly was the bomb. She was amazing. Kent had called in some favors for her to get an appointment straight away
This was her fourth session and while she knew she had a long way to go, she hadn’t pinched herself since that night Jed saw her thigh. She wasn’t sure she wouldn’t slip. And there had been a few times she’d really had to fight the urge. Those times, she’d used the techniques that Molly had given her.
No, it wasn’t easy, but she would get there.
“Daisy? You kind of have to talk to me for this to work.”
“He hasn’t spanked me.”
A moment of silence. She still didn’t look at Molly. “Shit. I didn’t mean to blurt that out. I mean. . .”
“You done anything to earn a spanking?” Molly asked.
Relief hit her. She knew Molly was in the lifestyle. That her husband was also her Dom. Still, they hadn’t really talked about any of this.
“Plenty.” She had too much nervous energy to sit. “I made myself my special ice cream, it’s full of sugary treats. Stuff I’m not supposed to eat unless I have permission. I ate two big bowls of it right in front of him. I nearly made myself ill.”
Her tummy had ached all night.
“I hid my binky. He doesn’t like me sucking my thumb and I’ve done it every night for the last week.” She took a deep breath, turned to Molly. “I hid the paddle.”
Molly’s eyes widened. “Jesus, girl.”
“He hasn’t said a word.”
“Daisy—”
“He hasn’t kissed me.”
“What?”
“I mean, he kisses me on the forehead or a light peck on the lips. But he hasn’t kissed me. He used to devour me with his eyes. Now I’m worried that all he sees when he looks at me is someone to pity. A victim.”
She clenched her hands into fists, waiting for Molly to reply. The other woman looked thoughtful. “You’ve had ten years with this. He’s had, what? A week?”
She nodded.
“And while you’ve got things to work through, so does he. Is he talking to anyone?”
“He said he would, but I don’t think he has.”
“From what you’ve told me, he’s a protective man. Looks after those around him.”
“Yes, he’s my dragon.”
Molly smiled at her. “Man like that, he’s not going to take it well that you were hurt and he wasn’t there to protect you. Even worse, it was done by someone he loved. Someone he trusted. Done to push the two of you apart.”
She nodded. She knew Molly would get it.
“Man like that, he’s protective and used to being in control. He’s also not going to like that he had no idea you were being stalked. That once more, someone got to you and he wasn’t there to protect you.”
“Neither of those were his fault.”
“No, but I bet he blames himself.”
She nodded miserably. “What do I do? Do I give him time? Do I just wait?”
“Man like that, patience doesn’t always work. I want to talk to him.”
That wasn’t what she’d expected.
“Uh, Molly. . .”
“Send him in. Give me ten minutes with him.”
“Molly, I don’t know—”
“Send him in, Daisy.”
“Okay.”
* * *
Jed wasn’t quite sure why Molly wanted him in today’s session, but if it would help Daisy, he would do what he had to do. He hated that she was still having nightmares. That at times he’d catch her just sitting and staring off into the distance.
It killed him. Not knowing how to help her.
He walked into the dining room. Normally, he made himself scarce upstairs to give them privacy.
“Afternoon, Jed,” Molly said cheerfully.
“Molly. All good, baby?” he asked Daisy carefully.
She looked worried, but she nodded.
“Daisy, give us a few minutes, yeah? Jed will let you know when I’m ready for you again.”
That was different. He’d only ever spoken to Molly with Daisy there. Daisy gave him a nervous smile, but left.
“What’s wrong? Daisy okay?” he snapped at Molly.
“Would you like to tell me?” she replied calmly.
“You’re her therapist.”
“And you’re her man, her Dom, her Daddy. What’s your take on how she’s doing?”
She wanted to get a feel for how Daisy was doing. He could do that. “Nightmares are getting better. Didn’t have one at all last night. She still jumps at loud noises and sometimes I catch her staring into the distance and know she’s thinking about it.”
Molly nodded. “And with your relationship? How are things going there?”
He narrowed her gaze. “Not sure that’s any of your business.”
“Your relationship plays a large role in Daisy’s well-being. And yours.”
“I’m not the one who needs your help.”
“Don’t you? Tell me, Jed. How are you sleeping?”
Like shit. But he wasn’t telling her that. “I’ll call Daisy back. Tell her we’re finished.” He turned away.
“She’s worried you see her as a victim and you no longer desire her.”
He froze. Turned. “What?”
“Normally, you understand, I wouldn’t be able to tell you this. But Daisy knows I’m talking to you. She’s worried about you. About her relationship with you.”
“She can talk to me.”
“You hadn’t had long together before all of this hit, and you were just feeling your way with your relationship. Your roles. You were guiding that. Leading her. As you’d expect seeing as she had no idea about any of that. You know that a huge part of a relationship like this is communication, yeah?”
“Yeah.” He had an uneasy feeling where she was going.
“You communicating with her? Telling her how you’re feeling about all this? What’s going through your mind?”
“I’m not laying that shit on her. She’s been through enough.”
“So have you.”
“I’m not the one who was sexually assaulted and driven out of their home. Had to take care of my siblings, living on the bones of my ass. Wasn’t the one targeted by a fucking stalker, who watched me while I undressed. Who sent me sick notes.”
“No, but that doesn’t mean it’s not affecting you. My guess is you feel guilty.”
He just sent her a look.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You feel guilty over what happened ten years ago. You feel like you should never have left her? That you should have dug deeper to find out why she left? Should have gone after her?”
He nodded. He felt all of that.
“Should have known she had a stalker? Have protected her better?”
Yep.
“Should have listened to her when she wanted to explain what happened back? Should have never blamed her?”
He blanched.
“Yeah, mountain of guilt there. But, Jed, you have to figure out a way of letting that guilt go. You don’t, it will eat you up and it will ruin your life. You want to do that to you? To her?”
“Of course I don’t. But what the fuck am I supposed to do?”
“Talk to someone about it all. Let it out.”
He breathed deep. Let it out.
“You might also want to pay attention to Daisy.”
“I pay attention.” He frowned. He hardly had his eyes off her.
“You might watch her but you’re not paying attention. She knows what she wants. It’s you. All of you. She got a taste of all that she’s ever wanted and now you’re holding that back. She’s been trying to get your attention for days. When’s the last time you saw her paddle? How many of your rules has she broken in the last few days?”
He thought that over.
“How many times you let her get away with breaking those rules?”
“She needs care,” he growled.
“She does. What she doesn�
�t need is someone treating her like she’s broken. When was the last time you kissed her? Really kissed her? Showed her you desired her?”
“I don’t want to scare her.” He ran his hand over his face. “She’s never been with anyone else.”
“And that’s a gift you’ll need to be careful with. But I know you’ll handle her gently. Do that, make it good for her, and let her help you get past this.”
Christ. Had he really fucked this up so much?
“And for God’s sake, will you give her the spanking she’s so clearly asking for.”
He gave her an incredulous look. “Really should have looked into your credentials.”
“They’re solid.” She grinned. “Most people like my brand of therapy.”
He grunted. She laughed. “All right, I’ve given you enough to think about. Go do what you gotta do and send Daisy in.”
He shook his head, walked out of the dining room, towards the stairs. “Daisy-girl? Molly wants you.”
She appeared at the top of the stairs, then started to race down them as she liked to do. He scowled.
“Slow down,” he demanded, reaching out to grab her and lift her down the last few. Then he gave her a sharp smack on the ass. “I catch you running down the stairs like that again and you’re gonna spend the day walking around with a plug in your ass. Let’s see if that slows you down.”
Her eyes widened. Then a smile crossed her face that was so large, so beautiful he felt it fill his heart. Yeah, Molly was right. She needed him. All of him.
And he needed to somehow get rid of this guilt.
“I’m gonna go call Bain.” He gave her a brief kiss but this one was hard, with some tongue. When he stepped back, she was swaying. He started up the stairs, then stopped as he heard her whisper.
“Molly is a fricking miracle worker.”
He didn’t turn to look at her as he spoke, “Oh, and sugar?”
“Yes?”
“Afterwards, we’re gonna have a chat about all the rules you’ve broken lately. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”
“Well, shit.”
For the first time in a week he found himself grinning.
* * *
She really did not think this through well.
That was her thought as she stood between Jed’s open legs. He was sitting on the sofa. She’d finished her session with Molly, then made them a quick dinner of burritos. Jed had come down some time later and she could tell almost straight away he was different. He was moving easier. There was still some way to go, of course. It wasn’t an instant thing. But he walked straight over to her, pulled her into his arms and kissed her.
The kiss was hot. It was damned hot. Her nerve endings were still sizzling. And she hadn’t been happy when he’d pulled back. But they’d sat and ate dinner. And it felt normal.
She so badly needed normal.
Which was crazy when you considered her life. After dinner, he’d cleaned up while he’d sent her upstairs, with a warning to walk not run, to put on her nightie and get ready for bed then meet him in the lounge. Considering it was only seven at night, she hadn’t reacted well. She’d ended up receiving several smacks to her ass, before being sent upstairs to get ready.
And now here they were, her standing between his open legs, staring down into his stern face.
“Want you to know something, sugar.”
She frowned slightly but nodded. “I may not be the easiest guy. May not be the most communicative. But I always want what’s best for you. That’s my job. To look after you. Give you what you need.”
“I want to do that for you, too.”
“I know you do. So you have to know you can come to me about anything.”
She bit her lip. “Are you mad about me talking to Molly?”
He frowned. “Babe, she’s your therapist.”
“I mean, about us. You.”
“Nope. Not mad. Not at you. Upset with myself because I didn’t make it easy for you to come to me.”
“You’re hurting too.” Maybe more than she was.
“Carrying a lot of guilt and anger, baby. Won’t lie about that. It’s not gonna go magically away. But I’ve had a lot of smart people give me a lot of good advice. Gonna start taking it.”
She breathed out a sigh.
“We got to keep moving forward. You’re doing that. I’ve got to as well.”
Wait. Worry unfurled. “You don’t want to move forward with me?”
His eyes flared open. “Fuck. Course I do.”
She put a hand to her chest, breathed out a relieved sigh. “Oh crap. You scared me.”
“Sorry, baby. Damn it. Mucking this up.” He grasped her around the hips lightly. “We’re moving forward together, Daisy-girl. From now on, it’s me and you. Daisy and Jed.”
“Sugar and the dragon,” she murmured.
He grinned. “Yeah. And I just want you to know, if you ever need to tell me anything, you can. You need me to slow down, you tell me that. You get scared or unsure, I’m the first person you come to. Yeah?”
“Yes,” she said with a smile. “I love you.”
“Love you too, baby girl. So fucking much.” He let go of her hips and leaned back. “So much, I can see now how I’ve been neglecting you.”
Uh-oh.
“You been getting away with a lot of naughty behavior, little girl.”
That tone of voice, those words. They put her right into the headspace he was obviously aiming for.
“Sorry, Daddy. Wipe the slate clean? Start again?” she asked hopefully.
He shook his head. “I’m afraid I just wouldn’t be a good daddy if I let you get away with everything so easily.”
Damn it.
“But I’ll give you a chance. You have five minutes to find your paddle and your binky and bring them to me. For every minute over that, you get three spanks with the paddle.”
Fuck. Fuck.
He tapped his watch. “Stopwatch is ready. And go.”
She raced away and up the stairs. Shit. Shit. Where did she put that damn paddle?
“And that’s ten with my hand for running up the stairs!” he yelled.
Well, shit.
She searched frantically for that damn paddle, pulling everything out of her wardrobe. Where was it? Finally, she remembered that she’d stuck it in a shoe box at the very back. She drew it out and grabbed it. Yes! Okay, she knew where the binky was. She tore into the bathroom, pulled open the cabinet then grabbed the jumbo-sized box of tampons. She figured it was a sure bet he wouldn’t look there.
Mind you, maybe not. There didn’t seem to be much that scared him off.
With both held in her hands, she tore down the passage, slowing as she got to the top of the stairs, since she didn’t want to add to her punishment. Then walked quickly down and ran to him, practically chucking them both at him before she’d come to a stop. Luckily, he caught the paddle before it could hit him.
“Shit! Sorry!”
He looked at her, glanced at his stopwatch. “Eight minutes.”
“Fuck.”
“And another extra five with my hand for swearing.”
“What? That’s not fair.”
“That makes fifteen with my hand and nine with the paddle.”
“Nooo,” she whined. “Can’t I just do corner time for nine minutes?”
He snorted. “Like you could last nine minutes in the corner.”
Yeah. He probably wasn’t wrong about that.
Well, shit.
He patted his lap. “Let’s get your punishment over with, sugar.”
She climbed onto the sofa reluctantly then lay herself out over his lap. Her legs rested on one side of him, her body on the other and he made short work of drawing up her nightie.
He rubbed her bottom gently. Then smack! She jumped with a startled cry. He kept spanking her, though. “I’m sorry I haven’t been giving you what you needed, sugar.” Smack! Smack! Smack! “Been too busy in my own head.” Smack! Smack! “Not ac
ceptable.” Smack! Smack! “So from now on, you can expect me to be paying very close attention.”
He stopped the hand spanking and rubbed her bottom gently for a moment as she sobbed. Her bottom throbbed but it wasn’t too bad. Still, she was starting to wonder why she’d said anything to Molly in the first place.
“Now, comes Daisy’s naughty girl paddle. Want me to hold your hands? I don’t want you reaching back and getting hurt.”
She didn’t point out the obvious. But she guessed she didn’t want her hands hurting as well as her poor butt.
“Yes, please.” She reached back and he held onto her wrists, pressing them gently into the small of her back.
“Remember your safe word?”
“Yes. It’s fruit.”
“First time using this paddle, isn’t it, baby? I’m sure it won’t be the last.” With those ominous words, he smacked the paddle onto her ass.
She screeched.
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. That stung!
Another smack before she even managed to process the first one landing.
“Daddy, no!” she screamed, reaching back with her hands, unable to help herself. Her legs kicked as it landed again, twice, leaving fire in its wake.
Tears dripped down her cheeks now. Her poor ass throbbed. She couldn’t take it.
Twice more. She wriggled, desperate to escape.
“Easy. Easy, sugar. Take a minute. Process. You need to use your safe word, baby girl?”
His voice wasn’t impatient. It wasn’t tinged with temper. Instead, it was low, soft and it brought her back to herself. She took stock. Yeah, her ass hurt. Yeah, she didn’t want more. But this is what she had asked for. Even needed.
Already a weight was lifting off her. The tears easing the way for more to follow that cleansed.
“I’m all right, Daddy.”
“My brave sugar. Three more.”
These landed rapidly, barely giving her a chance to breathe and then she found herself moving. He lay down with her spread on top of him. Her nightie over her bare ass as she cried some more cleansing tears.
“That’s it, baby. Let it all out. My girl. My good girl.”
She wiped her face clumsily and he pushed away her hand gently, using the sleeve of his shirt to clean her up.
“Gonna have to wash that,” she muttered. His chest moved up and down, shifting her around as he silently laughed.
Daddy’s Lost Love Page 19
