I Hope You Find Me

by Trish Marie Dawson

  “Whoa.” I said to him as I lifted my glass up and away from him.

  “Sorry.” He laughed and took a sip of beer before resting one of his hands on my thigh, a goofy grin on his face. We stared at each other for a long moment until someone cleared their throat above me. I looked up and Jacks was leaning on the back of the couch, a twinkle in his eye.

  “Can I have this dance?” He said, ignoring Fin, who still had his hand on my leg.

  “Uh.” I said, not sure how to answer. And then I heard the song playing. Delicate, by Damien Rice. I had to dance, and Jacks knew it. I stood up and set my wine glass down on an end table and let him lead me to the center of the room. He put his arm around me and pulled me in tight, pressing my chest into his ribs. We swayed and slowly turned in circles and half way through the song I realized the room had gone quiet. Jacks buried his mouth into my neck and murmured the words of the song into my hair and I let myself float away with him.

  A flash of Ana’s bright red top caught the edge of my vision as she swept past, her arms linked with Connor’s while he spun her around us. Connor locked eyes with me as he turned around the room, and I could see the want, the desire in his eyes. And the hurt. Suddenly he dipped Ana and she squealed with delight. The song had ended.

  The music changed to the soft piano and swinging beat of Michael Bublé’s Feeling Good. I stepped back from Jacks and he smiled at me. Kris laughed and I looked over to see Skip dragging her clumsily around the dance floor. Matt cut in on Connor and Ana without saying a word, and she leaned her hips into him, grinding along. He said something into her ear and she threw her head back with delight. Jacks leaned into me again but stopped when a hand tapped him on the shoulder.

  Fin grinned as he tipped his head at us and said, “Mind if I step in?”

  I smiled shyly, and nodded an okay at Jacks, who stepped back hesitantly.

  Fin slid into place, one hand in mine, the other lightly around my waist and I followed his lead away from Jacks. When the drums and cymbals started he pulled me into him, and spun me out, twisting our hands effortlessly. When we came back together we were both smiling and laughing. We danced around the others, his hand on my back, the room whirling around us in a colorful blur, my body feeling light and slightly fuzzy from the wine. Fin had me on my toes as he held me against him, swaying to the close of the song. When he dipped me low at the end, the room clapped around us and Fin held my hand up and bent forward, in a bow. Still laughing, I stood awkwardly next to him as we moved away from the dance area as One Republic came on.

  I flopped down onto the couch, and Fin handed me my wine glass. After finishing what was left, I said, “That was fun.”

  He nodded and took my glass, and walked between Ana and Matt, and Kris who seemed excited to be dancing with Connor. I saw him refill my glass from the far side of the room and weave back through the happy dancers to the couch. He returned my glass and I sipped eagerly, while he set the bottle on the fireplace mantle. When he plopped down next to me again, I sat quietly beside him while we watched the others, trying to ignore the heat radiating between our touching thighs and the curve of his side as it fit into mine.

  When Rock That Body came on, I squealed at the same time as Kris, and jumped up, swinging my hips as I rushed to the center of the room to join her. We danced next to each other, arms in the air, our shoulders and thighs bumping together, alternating between singing and giggling. Ana slid in next to us and dipped to the beat, her hands roaming her body. Someone lifted my glass from my hand and Kris and I jumped in unison, spinning, and belting the words of the song out. At one point, the three of us were holding hands, moving together fluidly and when Ana slid seductively down my back the men broke out into joyous cries.

  For two more dance songs, the three of us frolicked, twisted and swayed around each other. When Florence And The Machines drifted out from the speakers, I was grateful for a break, and the men groaned in protest when Ana, Kris and I broke apart for water and eventually collapsed on the couches. Ana sent a saucy smile my way and I laughed at Kris. Punching In A Dream by The Naked And Famous was playing as I rested my head on the cushions. For the first time, I considered Ana might not be so bad after-all.

  ***

  Connor couldn’t keep his eyes on her without his vision doubling. He stood off to the side of the room, next to Jacks, with his arms limply at his sides, his thumbs tucked into his pockets, watching Fin’s fancy foot work glide Riley around the room. Jacks tapped his upper arm and held out a beer, and he took it with a nod. He knew Jacks was just as irritated to see Riley dancing with another man, but it was obvious neither was going to complain about it to the other. So they watched her twirl around the room and return to the couch with Fin. He couldn’t handle seeing him brush the hair back from her face or her playfully smack at his arm when he made a joke, so he asked Kris to dance.

  When a club song came on and the girls started dancing together it was hard if not inconceivable for each of the men not to stare. He moved slowly away from the girls and jumped when Fin clapped his shoulder. He refused the urge to shrug him off and watched Ana and Riley instead. Ana was sexy, in a sleazy way. There was something too needy about her that turned him off immediately. Kris was still a kid but it was obvious as he glanced at the others, that some of the men, mainly Matt and his friends, didn’t look at her like one. Riley though, she was in a world of her own. It was impossible to not want her.

  He watched her blonde, wavy hair dance about her shoulders, her long bangs tumbling into her eyes as her hips swayed seductively from side to side, and felt the desire for her more than ever. He leaned into the couch and loosely crossed his arms and stared, unblinking, at the curve of her breasts. His head spun from drinking all day but he didn’t take his eyes off her, couldn’t. And once, he was sure she met his gaze, and held it...a flirty smile on her face, a twinkle in her dark blue eyes. And then she turned away, and Ana was behind her, sliding down her backside. Most of the guys hollered but he kept his eyes on Riley. Always on Riley.

  ***

  God, I needed water. I wandered over to the tables, but found none, so I followed the wall with my fingers brushing along the wood paneling, mostly to keep myself from appearing tipsy. And I was. The music drowned all sounds around me and filled my ears like a flood. I found the kitchen doorway and slipped inside, not bothering to turn on the light. I would drink from the tap if I had to.

  My hands fumbled through the cupboards until I found a small glass. I gripped it carefully and squinted in the dark at the faucet as I pushed it on. Explosions of laughter erupted from the room next door and I smiled, glad that no one missed me yet.

  I was concentrating so hard on filling the glass that I didn’t hear the soft footsteps close in behind me. I turned the water off and started raising my arm when a hand slid around my waist. The water sloshed down my wrist and I gasped as I spun around. Even in the dark, I could make out the pale glow of Connor’s blue eyes. His face was an inch from mine and his hand went down my side, resting firmly on my hip.

  “My god, Connor! You scared me!” I chuckled softly. Water trickled from my wrist, down my arm.

  The group laughed loudly again and I looked over Connor’s shoulder at the open door. He took the glass from my hand and set it down behind me. I smelled the breezy scent of his cologne, mixed with a subtle undertone of Corona. The metal counter top behind me felt cold, even through my jeans, but my skin flushed and heat radiated through me when Connor’s left hand darted under my top and grazed my ribs. His palm slid between my shoulder blades and moved beneath my bra strap, slowly sliding forward, back along my ribs to my breast. A shudder ran up my back when his fingers brushed against my nipple, and he kept his hand there, moving gently inside my bra as the other trailed down my abdomen, inside my jeans. I gasped in surprise as his fingers slid inside my cotton underwear and very slowly began to move up and down.

  Connor’s mouth started on my collarbone, and his tongue hungrily traced the curves of my
throat up to my jaw.

  “Riley.” He whispered passionately beside my ear before nibbling on it.

  I bit down on my lower lip to keep a moan from escaping as his hand firmly cupped my breast. He pressed his hips into me as his mouth found mine, and our tongues twisted together furiously. I felt the bulge of his crotch push against me and I silently cursed the belt he wore, restricting easy access. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as his long and slender fingers rhythmically moved faster and faster between my legs, matching the beat of my racing heart.

  I gripped his back and arched against him, feeling the muscles in my stomach tighten and my thighs begin to quiver. With a fistful of his shirt in one hand, and my other holding onto his neck, I let the waves of an intense orgasm completely consume me, shaking my insides to the core. Connor crushed his mouth into mine as I moaned his name loudly.

  When his hands slid out from under my clothes, he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me until I was breathless and I was certain he could hear the knocking of my heart as it wildly banged against my ribcage. Every sense I had was heightened...the sultry, salty smell of his skin and the lemongrass scented cleaner on the counter behind me made the back of my throat tingle. The multi-tonal laughs coming from the next room and the slow and steady drip of the leaky faucet echoed in my ears. The sweet flavor of Connor’s mouth made me hungry to taste all of him, and the softness of his wavy hair tickled my skin when he kissed me. Every nerve ending I had was exposed and throbbing deliciously.

  He was nibbling softly on my ear again and tugging on a strand of my hair when the kitchen light flickered on. We both jumped but Connor didn’t pull away from me. I peered over his shoulder to see Winchester standing in the doorway.

  “There you are.” He cleared his throat loudly, and shifted on his feet. From across the room I couldn’t be sure, but it looked like he was trying hard not to smile.

  Without turning around to face him, Connor said, “We’ll be right out. Just getting something to drink.” He smiled down at me with a mischievous glint in his eye, and trailed a single finger between my cleavage and my midsection lurched in response.

  When he pulled away, I went up on my tip-toes and said softly into his ear, “Finish this later?”

  “Hell yes.” He said loudly.

  He kissed me once more lightly on the lips before winking and walking away. I could hear him talking with Winchester in the other room, so I turned around and gripped the edge of the sink, grinning girlishly from ear to ear. After smoothing my clothes and hair back into place, I gulped the glass of water I had gotten from the tap in one large swallow. I splashed cold water on my cheeks to cool the flush I felt radiating through my skin before I refilled the glass, and took it back with me into the main room.

  The group was huddled together, with an end table between the two couches, and Skip was arm wrestling Matt. His hand wavered before slamming Matt’s down onto the table and the room erupted in cheers. Connor was standing near Winchester, leaning on the side of the couch. I overheard Winchester say that Skip had won 3-0 against Fin, Bobby and Matt. I laughed and looked around the room, and my eyes met Fin’s.

  He was watching me with curiosity, and glanced sharply at Connor. When his gaze met mine again a knowing look settled into his expression. He slowly blinked at me and quickly looked away. I was sure he couldn’t know exactly what took place between Connor and I in the kitchen, but it was obvious he realized something happened. I brought my palm to my hot cheeks to cool them, and hoped that no one else noticed the flush that I was sure covered my entire body.

  Matt stood up and shook his arm with a sullen look on his face and Fin said flatly, “Connor should go next.”

  Connor glanced at him and then flexed his hands. “Nah, I’m good. Feeling a little tired actually.” He avoided looking directly at me but I blushed anyway.

  I noticed Kris had tucked herself into the corner of one of the couches. Her head rested on a faded forest-green cushion, a droopy look in her eyes. Kris. I had forgotten that she was sleeping in Connor’s old room. A laugh threatened to explode from me as I realized the irony of the situation. There I was, sitting there dreaming about the night I could have with Connor, when a teenager would be sleeping in the next room. I thought to myself…how bad would it be if I left the dog in her room, and snuck Connor into the cabin after she fell asleep?

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Something insanely bright was glowing behind my eyelids. I squeezed them shut even tighter, to no avail; the creamy yellowish color penetrated through my closed eyes like radioactive honey. I was face down lying on my left cheek, with an arm tucked under my head, another folded in front of me. I opened one eye gingerly and let the wash of sunlight fill my vision while I blinked, momentarily unaware of what I was looking at. As my vision cleared, I saw the round outline of a man's head and in the background the early morning sun glared through an open window.

  Unruly dark curls that flipped up at the base of his neck were glistening in the dawn. I blinked again, and shifted my head so that I could get a level view of the man sleeping on his stomach next to me. The sheets were messily pulled up his back, resting in an uneven bunch just below his shoulder blades. His lean arms were raised above him and tucked under his pillow. I could feel the heat of one of his legs pushed up against my knee. As I blinked at him, flashes of the night before flipped through my memory...and I smiled. I closed my eyes and remembered the feel of his hands and mouth as they explored every inch of my body, slowly, seductively…and the hard feel of him inside me as we pushed against each other; we had fit together perfectly.

  With my eyes open again, I raised a hand to his face and carefully pushed back a long strand of wavy hair that was partially obscuring my view of his face. His long, dark lashes fluttered softly against his cheeks, but he didn't wake.

  Connor sighed in his sleep. I listened to him inhale and exhale deeply before he was silent again. I was afraid to move for fear I'd wake him, so I stayed on my stomach and watched his back rhythmically rise and fall. I tried to match my breathing to his but couldn't. Just watching him, my heart rate beat faster, my stomach tightened and my own breathing quickened.

  The room smelled faintly of sex and the fire we had lit the night before, and something else…coffee. I resisted the urge to bolt from the bed and instead turned my head to the side and checked to make sure my bedroom door was still closed. I wasn't sure why Kris would be awake so early, but if she was making coffee I didn't want her bringing it upstairs to share and finding me naked in bed with Connor.

  I slid from underneath the covers and slinked across the room to twist the lock on the knob, then crept back into bed. Before I could roll over back onto my stomach, one of his arms slithered across my waist and pulled me in close to him so that we were lying on our sides, facing each other. He was smiling, a happy and boyish grin. Damn. Early morning Connor after sex was beautiful.

  “Hi.” I said quietly and leaned in for a kiss. His moist lips were warm and inviting.

  “Hi.” He ran one of his hands down my side to my hip. “Did you sleep okay?” He asked, a sparkle lighting his blue eyes ablaze.

  I laughed quietly as his fingers trailed aimlessly along my thigh. “I did, though you didn't leave me much time to sleep.”

  “Mmmhmm.” He purred, and scooted closer to me, so that our bodies touched. I could feel the hardness of him against my pelvic bone and my insides quivered in anticipation. His roaming hand moved from the back to the front of my thigh, and followed my curves until he found my breast. I traced the defined chisels in his chest and abdomen with my own fingers and slid my hand between us, grasping his erection.

  The early morning colors of dawn were far gone by the time we left the bed and moved into the shower together. Kris never did knock on my door, but she hollered from the bottom of the stairs sometime around noon to tell me that she was taking Zoey out for a walk. We waited until we heard her go out the front door before we crept downstairs, wrapped only in to
wels, and fed each other fruit and granola, before making love again on the way up the stairs.

  ***

  For several days, Connor felt like a teenager hiding from his parents as they looked for secretive places to make love. Twice he managed to sneak into Riley's bedroom after the lights in Kris's room went dark. The first night they were together, she must have known he was in there because she didn't once knock on Riley's door when she got up in the morning. He understood why Riley wanted to be discreet but after days of dodging behind trees, and sneaking around the lodge, he was exhausted. He knew he wasn't the only one who was interested in her either which made him nervous.

  He bit off another chunk of red apple and chewed it as he stepped into his jeans and tugged them over his hips. Riley sat at the foot of the bed, pulling a long sleeved shirt the color of damp moss over her head and he couldn't prevent the swollen reaction of his groin as her blonde hair tumbled loosely out of the shirt and onto her shoulders. He left the button of his fly open and crawled across the bed behind her.

  “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” He asked her in a strained voice, as he carefully pushed her silky hair off the back of her neck and she sighed as he kissed her exposed skin. He felt her hands fumbling behind her until she found the front of his jeans and she leaned backwards into his chest.

  “I have a pretty good idea.” She said, her voice low and sexy.

  She turned around to face him, her round eyes fixed on his. She pushed him playfully down onto the comforter and straddled his hips with her naked thighs. Her soft and supple skin trembled as he ran his hands up her inner thighs and gripped her hips firmly. He inhaled deeply, taking in her beachy coconut scent, and groaned with pleasure as she lowered herself onto him and rocked back and forth, slow and teasing at first. But as her breath quickened, she moved faster, eager, hungry for him. They rose and fell together, not at all containing their sighs and moans of pleasure.