I Hope You Find Me

by Trish Marie Dawson

  “I already told you what happened.” Ana said. She looked down at her hands, and fiddled with the hem of her denim skirt. She was sitting on the second couch, opposite of Connor and Kris, next to Winchester and Skip.

  “That’s the only experience you’ve had?” I asked her, doubt creeping into my voice. She shot me an ugly look but didn’t respond.

  Skip sighed and patted his thigh a few times, startling Ana. “Well, shoot. I guess I’ll go first.” He stopped to look around the room, seeming uneasy with the fact that Matt was huddled in the far corner leaning against the wall, sipping from his tumbler. Antisocial and uninterested as usual.

  “On one of my solo trips to the grocery store I saw a man in the parking lot, walking by the front of the building. Well, I thought he was a man anyway. But when I got close enough to the poor bastard, I saw he was covered in blood.” He paused to glance at Kris, who was watching him intently. “Should I even be saying this in front of the kid?” He smiled awkwardly.

  “I’m not a kid.” She said defiantly, and tilted her chin up an inch or so. I smiled at her and nodded at Skip to continue.

  “Well, it was like he was sick, you know, with the bug. But he came at me, and I sort of freaked out, took off running, and when I looked back, the guy was gone. Just…poof.” He sighed heavily.

  “That’s it?” Connor asked, before glancing at me nervously.

  “I guess I’ve heard things too, voices, stuff like that.” Skip looked around the room sharply. “I don’t mean in my head or nothing, I mean…you know, like on the wind.”

  Everyone in the room seemed to be nodding. Winchester leaned forward and hung his head in between his knees and for a second I thought he was getting ready to puke right there, on his feet.

  “It’s not in your head.” He said softly, before lifting his face up at Skip and propping his elbows onto his legs. “There was this girl, I don’t know…like fifteen or so, and I saw her twice, wandering around outside my office.” He ran his hand across his forehead, wiping at his brow. “She was…naked…and covered with all these bloody spots. I swear, I thought her skin was coming off. I know she wasn’t real. But at the time, I don’t know, I guess I thought I made the whole thing up.”

  “Why would you make something like that up, son?” Skip asked him gently.

  “Because, it couldn’t have been real…I mean, was it?” Winchester stood up and walked past me, closer to the open doorway and gulped in the fresh air.

  “Well, I won’t stay up here at the lodge because I kept hearing shit. I made it three nights before I thought I might lose my damn mind. And then, in the middle of that last night, I saw something standing in the corner of the room. When I turned the light on, dude was gone. That was it for me. I moved down to the cabins the next day.” Fin said.

  “So, all y’all had something like that happen?” Bobby spoke for the first time.

  He sat on a dining chair pulled close to one of the couches, with his legs opened up in front of him. His belly stuck out above his dirty pants, threatening to pop the top button of his fly off with the slightest change in pressure. With his beady eyes, he scanned the faces in the room quickly.

  “We did. In the City. Seeing things, hearing shit.” Alan said it quietly and shrugged at Bobby’s glare.

  “They haven’t said anything.” Ana looked between me and Connor suspiciously.

  “Well, we did have a sort of…incident downtown.” I said it carefully; unsure of how to tell the story when I still wasn’t certain what had happened myself. Connor was watching me thoughtfully.

  “Truth is…I don’t remember all of it.” I shifted on my feet and jammed my hands into my pockets.

  “What do you mean?” Winchester asked.

  I looked up at Connor for help and exhaled deeply when he gently cleared his throat and began sharing our story of what happened the day before we left the City. I watched as everyone listened, engrossed, as he told about the girl in the street, the mob of dead, and how they all disappeared. Kris seemed visibly upset and held tightly onto Zoey as if the dog was going to dissolve if she took her hand off her.

  “That’s truly amazing.” Skip said quietly.

  “Now you understand why I, why we, had to leave the City. Why we wanted to come here.” I said.

  “If you’re talking about ghosts I don’t think it matters where we are.” Fin said.

  “Well, no, but less people lived up here…that also means that less people died up here.”

  I let my words sink in while the group sent confused and fearful glances at each other as they shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

  “Do you think that’s why it hasn’t happened again?” Kris’s voice was tiny, but her eyes were large and clear as she looked between me and Connor.

  “You mean the mob?” Connor asked and she nodded.

  “The City’s full of thousands of people, so it makes sense that up here, that won’t happen. When you think about it, millions of people died together…something’s keeping them here. We just don’t know what it is.”

  The room was quiet around me. “It’s just a theory.” I shrugged and looked down at my feet.

  “It’s a damn good one. Makes sense to me at least.” Fin said. I smiled at him, grateful for the support, even if what I suggested sounded wild and unbelievable.

  Skip stood and clapped his hands together, startling all of us. “Okay, so until one of us becomes a ghost whisperer…how about we just plan on staying out of the cities for a while?” Soft chuckles and nervous laughs broke out around the room.

  “Deal.” I said to him.

  I let Connor slide his arms around me in a hug as the room gradually emptied, everyone eager to find something else to do, and something else to talk about. Only Matt stayed behind, still standing in his corner with his drink in his hand. Before we passed through the doorway on our way outside, I turned around to glance in his direction and I noticed how the shadows of the room seemed to envelope his space completely. The darkness inside him seemed to be growing, and when he set his icy glare on me, a shiver jolted down the length of my spine.

  ***

  Everyone was on edge around the grounds for days after our group discussion in the Rec room, especially Fin. He skipped whatever group meals we had and spent most of his time in his cabin or the greenhouse. Ana had officially moved into Jacks’ cabin, bumping Winchester out of the roomy second bedroom into the small single-bed space off the kitchen. Which made her my neighbor, but fortunately she spent most of her time inside or driving the little golf cart previously reserved for the lodge's gardener between the main buildings and the cabins.

  She began spending a considerable amount of time with Jacks and I suspected they had a thing going before showing up at the lodge. I knew the others were aware of the private time Connor and I tried to cut out of the days. Thankfully, no one called us on it and even Jacks didn't mention it. So in a way, I was glad he seemed to be spending time with someone else. I just wished it could have been anyone other than the high-maintenance and whiny Ana.

  I sat on Fin's sofa, my elbow propped up on a fuzzy brown pillow. My mind raced, refusing to settle on one thought at a time. Connor was next door, riffling through his things for a clean change of clothes.

  “Is he officially moving back into your place?” I jumped when Fin's voice spoke from behind the sofa.

  “Oh, no. He's...just getting something...I think.” I stretched and tried to smile at Fin, but he walked past me into the kitchen.

  “Was thinking of making vegetable pot-pie for dinner tonight, if you guys want to join me.” He moved around the kitchen with ease, pulling pans from cupboards I had yet to explore in my own cabin. He had set a sack on the table and out tumbled several ingredients for his meal onto the counter.

  “That would be nice. Thanks Fin.” I smiled at him but he didn't look up from his work.

  “Gotta eat some of these potatoes; there's a whole bin of them in the greenhouse.” He said.

&nb
sp; I opened my mouth to comment but what sounded like a single firework blast erupted from the woods and I jumped up and ran to the door, with Fin not far behind me.

  “What was that, a back fire?” I asked, my voice shaky.

  “No, that was a gunshot.” Fin stared at me.

  Connor's footsteps pounded down his porch stairs and I matched his worried gaze with my own as he met up with us on Fin’s deck. We stood near the railing huddled closely together, craning our necks and straining to hear anything unusual. Silence stilled the forest around us; even the dog was quiet. Zoey…where was she? Almost a full minute had passed before we heard Kris's piercing screams echoing off the trees.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  I ran into the woods crashing through the waist-high shrubs, oblivious to the branches that snagged my clothes and skin while my eyes darted around wildly, searching for any signs of Kris and the dog. The scream had come from somewhere in the trees. I knew Kris had taken Zoey for a walk, but I didn't ask her where they were going. I cursed myself as I jumped over tree roots and slid on mossy rocks. Connor and Fin were running close behind me, until Fin yelled at me to stop.

  “Riley, listen!” He shouted at my back.

  I slammed hands first into a large pine tree and leaned against it to catch my breath. In the distance was the distinct sound of a barking dog. My barking dog. Thank god. I thought to myself, as I pushed off the tree and cocked my head to the side but I was unable to pinpoint Zoey's location. Her barks were too sporadic, so I whistled sharply and the barking stopped. Good, at least she knows I’m out here looking for them. The three of us stood in a semi-circle, waiting anxiously, not sure which direction to go. I whistled again, louder, and Zoey barked in return. All three of us turned to the right and began running south through the trees that bordered the lake. Zoey would bark every time I whistled and she was getting closer to us. When she finally crashed through the bushes and ran up to me, jumping and whining, I realized Kris wasn't behind her.

  “Where's Kris, Zoey?” I asked, even though I knew the dog couldn't answer. A succession of sharp gunshots boomed through the trees, much closer than the first one had been.

  “Zoey, go get her, go get Kris!” I whispered into her ear and off she ran with her bushy black tail straight up in the air, back the way she had come. Fin and Connor followed behind me as we ran through a dense crop of pines. Both men struggled to keep up and I swore to never complain about my short, 5’6” frame again, as Connor and Fin tripped on every root and ran into each low-hanging branch. When the tree line cleared, I could see a small meadow ahead of us, and someone in a dark sweatshirt was sprinting across it. Fin yanked on my shoulder to keep me from running out of the safety of the massive tree trunks.

  “Let go, it's Kris!” I hissed.

  “I know! Riley, just wait. Something’s wrong.” He hissed back.

  Connor moved around Fin and took my arm. We moved quietly through the woods, circling the meadow hoping to run into Kris who was no longer in sight.

  “There!” I whispered.

  Twenty yards ahead of us was a dark shadow crouching in the bushes at the base of a large tree. When I whistled softly, the bushes shook and Zoey closed the distance between us in a handful of seconds. Kris stood up slowly, peering into the darkness of the woods until her eyes met mine. She looked at me wildly, shook her head and then pointed toward the meadow.

  “It's Matt.” Fin said through clenched teeth. We dropped to our knees and watched as Matt emerged from the far side of the meadow with the missing rifle held out in front of him. Bobby, his own gun in hand, was directly behind him. Alan took up the rear, also armed.

  “What the hell are they doing?” Connor asked quietly.

  “They wouldn't shoot at Kris, would they?” I whispered, hoping neither of them would answer.

  Connor cupped his hand over my mouth to muffle my scream as Matt fired the rifle into the woods. The loudness of the shot rang through my head like a metal pin-ball. From our crouched position I couldn't see Kris anymore. I clamped my hands over Zoey's snout when she let out a low growl.

  “Shush!” I whispered in the dog's ear.

  She quieted but kept her gaze on the three men striding through the tall grass of the meadow. They were arguing and gesturing around them.

  “I think they're looking for her.” My heart sank. We had to do something before they fired off another random shot from the rifle and actually hit one of us.

  “I have my pistol.” Fin said quietly. “I could fire in their direction. They won't be expecting her to shoot back, will they?”

  “What if you hit one of them?” I asked.

  He looked at me flatly before pulling his pistol from the back of his waistband. “I won't. Not unless you want me to.”

  He leaned against a tree trunk, obscuring most of his tall and wide frame. I slithered up a tree as well, catching loose bark and dead pine needles in my hair, edging around it until I could see Kris. I signaled for her to stay put and pointed at Fin. His hand was steady as he aimed his pistol high above the three men. I didn't think the bullet would make it out of the trees at all. It was only in danger of taking out a branch at best.

  When the shot rang out, Matt and Bobby dropped to the ground but Alan stood shocked, before turning and running back into the tree line. Fin fired another bullet into the air and Matt and Bobby scrambled to their feet and took off behind Alan.

  I waved Kris over to us and she bolted through the brush, running into my arms. Her freckled nose was scratched and tears had left dirty track marks down her cheeks.

  Connor shoved me from behind and we ran back through the woods, not stopping until we reached the cabins. My throat burned and I was sure my heart was going into irregular spasms when I collapsed on my front porch. We took a moment to catch our breath before Fin asked Kris what happened in the woods.

  “Let's go inside first.” I said between gulps of air, while I scanned the woods nervously.

  We huddled around the kitchen-island with tall glasses of water in our hands, waiting for Kris to speak. Fin paced behind the windows, pushing the curtains aside to peer out every few seconds. He tapped his gun against his thigh repeatedly, as if itching to use it.

  “I was walking Zoey.” She paused to take a sip from her glass. “And she ran away from me, chasing after something in the woods.” Another pause for water. “Then there was like, this gunshot and I thought someone shot her. Zoey, I mean.” She looked at me before continuing. I nodded for her to keep talking. “Okay, so then I saw her, running through the trees. The deer. You know the one we saw?” Another sip of water. “Matt was shooting at her.” She looked down at her hands. “I couldn't let him shoot her. I couldn't.” She said quietly.

  “Did he know you were out there, Kris?” I leaned against the counter and pinched the bridge of my nose. My headache was back.

  “Oh yeah. He knew because I ran through the trees as loud as I could shouting at them. I think the second time he was actually aiming at me. He was really mad.” Her eyes darted to the front door. “Will he come here?” Her voice wavered.

  “I don't think he will. I mean, right now he thinks you have a gun too.” Fin said gently.

  Zoey huffed and a knock at the door made us all jump. Connor and Fin approached it cautiously and then relaxed, letting Skip inside.

  “What was all the shooting about?” He asked the room, his usually jovial face full of concern.

  Kris slipped out of the kitchen quietly and rushed up the stairs and I followed her, trusting the others would be able to fill Skip in without me there. The sounds of the men talking downstairs drifted up the stairway, and even though I couldn't hear exactly what was said, I knew Skip was upset. His voice rose above the others several times.

  I sighed and watched her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She looked pale as she rinsed her face with splash after splash of cool water. Her eyes were darker than usual, and her mouth was set into a quivering pout. When she stood, she met my eyes in th
e mirror for a moment and turned around slowly, leaning her narrow hip against the sink.

  With her face buried in a hand towel she mumbled, “So, what do we do now?”

  “I don't know. But we have to do something.” I squeezed her in a quick hug. “Don't worry. We’ll figure it out, okay?” She only nodded.

  It didn't take much convincing to get her to lay down on her bed and rest. I pulled a thick cotton blanket over her and tucked her in, much like I did for my own kids. When I patted the mattress, Zoey happily jumped onto the bed and cuddled up against her. I ran my hands over the dog, just to make sure she wasn’t injured, before I quietly left the room. I glanced at Kris’s small body curled under the white blanket and the black dog that had her head resting on the girl’s shoulder. I wondered what would have happened in the woods if Matt had been a better shot. I felt my skin flush with anger at the thought of finding Kris laying in that meadow...bloody...dead.

  I crossed the hall and walked into my room and stood in front of my bedside table. Fin's loaded .45 was exactly where I had left it. After I tucked it into the front of my jeans, I pulled my sweater down to hide the bulge. Several hours of target practice with Fin was about to become useful. Matt wouldn't know what hit him.

  ***

  “Where are you going?” Fin's voice rose above the others. My hand was tightly curled around the front doorknob.

  “I need some air.” I peered at him over my shoulder, trying to act normal. Fin nodded at me from across the room and returned to arguing with Skip and Connor. Winchester had come in at some point while I was upstairs, and he stood quietly in a corner listening to the others. Like the rest of them, he didn’t seem concerned when I stepped outside and closed the door behind me.

  I held my breath as I walked away from the cabin and didn’t release it until I slipped into the driver side of Ana's golf cart, blowing out a gust of air when I saw the key in the ignition. I was sure Connor or Fin would come running after me, as if my thoughts were written across my forehead in permanent marker. But they didn't. The little engine roared to life and I thought then I might get caught. But no one seemed to notice that I had taken the four-seater even as I drove it up the path. Instead of the almost ten minute walk, I made it to the lodge in less than one minute. I parked the cart near the storage building and stepped out onto the gravel, taking in the long expanse of the main building.