The Girl In Between series: Books 1-4

by Laekan Zea Kemp

  He set down the milk. I slipped, catching myself on a candy display, my arm knocking over the carton. It exploded all over the clerk’s shoes. His stiffened, one hand reaching for something just under the register.

  “Don’t. Move.” I spat a wad of blood on the man’s shirt. “Where’s the back door?”

  He twitched.

  “Don’t look,” I warned. “Just tell me.”

  “At the end of aisle six. Take a right.”

  I leaned over the counter, sliding my hand beneath the register until I felt the handgun. I pulled it free, handing it to my dad.

  “Go. Now. Don’t look back.”

  He froze, shaking as he held himself up against a lottery ticket machine. He didn’t take the gun. “They…” His eyes roamed my face, his own growing pale. “They say you’re my son. They keep saying…”

  Silence filled me like sand—scraping, choking. I remembered the night I’d called Cole and asked him to fix my mess. I’d wanted him to scramble my dad’s memories, removing every ounce of pain and regret I’d ever caused him. What I hadn’t realized was that it would involve removing me too. All of me.

  “I’m sor—”

  He shook his head, so confused he looked like he was going to be sick. “Are you?”

  I heard the rumble of the truck outside, one door falling closed, then another.

  “No,” I said. “I’m not.” I pushed the gun into his hand. “Now go.”

  He backpedaled, trusting whatever instincts were finally telling him to run. When he disappeared through the emergency exit I turned back to the clerk.

  “I should kill you.” I wrenched him by the shirt, boiling. “I want to.”

  He panted, clutching my hands. “Please…”

  The chill in my voice unsettled even me. “You’re going to go outside and then you’re going to convince your friends that you should all get in their truck and drive as far the hell away from this town as humanly possible. Do you understand me?”

  He nodded, teeth chattering.

  “And if you stop, if you so much as glance back in this direction, I will find you,” I yanked him close, “and I will destroy you.”

  I dropped him and he ran, falling over himself as he tore through the parking lot. I followed him outside, the flames finally spreading to my chest, my heart pounding and on fire. He reached the two men, already clutching their weapons. When he tried to drag them back towards the truck they shoved him to the ground, arguing and pointing their pistols at his raised hands.

  He crawled on his knees, pleading, but they weren’t listening to him. He jumped into a run before disappearing into the dark neighborhood across the street.

  “Roman…”

  At the sound of my dad’s voice I froze. He didn’t see the guns in the men’s hands. He didn’t see the symbol plastered to the side of their truck.

  But they saw him.

  I snatched the bullet before it could lodge itself into his right shoulder, the metal melting in my hand. Before they could fire a second shot I scraped the pavement, traces of oil absorbing my flames and making them scatter. They jumped in the direction of the truck, an alarm sounding as the fire approached the gas pumps.

  Behind the light I heard the screech of tires. The flames in me wanted to chase them. To make them burn and bleed and die. But the man beneath the flames just wanted to stop hurting. Myself. Other people. My dad.

  He pulled me away from the heat as the flashing lights of a fire truck swirled up the road.

  He stared into my eyes, searching. “You are, aren’t you?”

  I swallowed, still tasting blood. I didn’t know what to say. “I’m no one,” I finally forced out.

  Behind his eyes, I could see him wrestling with the sight of me. His brow furrowed as he tried to reconcile his fear with whatever biological urge he had to hold me and shield me from the cold. When his arms closed around me, his touch searching too, I almost collapsed. He squeezed, trying to sense his blood pumping through my veins. I let myself squeeze back, trying to tell him he’d found whatever he was looking for. Trying to tell him that I loved him.

  “Thank you.” At first I wasn’t sure who’d said it. But then he let go, repeating the words. “Thank you.”

  80

  Bryn

  My hand touched the lead and the trace of my blood underneath. The plaster was peeled back by long black fingers, vines wriggling past my skin as I was pulled inside. The trees were endless, all of them breathing and reaching. For me.

  But I was not afraid.

  Because I knew she was there.

  “I’m always here.”

  Her voice was in my head and then it danced on the wind, shivering in the leaves. It hummed up from the soil and I blinked back tears. She stood in front of me. Smiling.

  I’d never seen my grandmother’s hair that long. It was slick and black, hanging down near her hips. She was young, her black eyes gleaming. The trees filled with onyx stars, other eyes peering at us from between the leaves.

  And I knew in an instant.

  They were my blood. My protectors.

  The question came out of me, more curious than concerned. “Am I dead?”

  My grandmother’s face softened. “Yes.”

  I tried to mirror her sadness but all I could feel was relief.

  And then she said, “But not forever.”

  Dread gripped my heart again. “I’m not finished?”

  “Not yet.”

  I scanned the faces of the other women, finally sensing the ceremony in all of this. “How am I supposed to finish this if I can’t even wake myself up?” I shook, every feeling they’d drained me of finally finding me again. “He won.” My throat throbbed. “Sebastían. Anso. His son. They won. They trapped me in this place…in this nightmare. And I’m just not strong enough to find a way out.”

  My grandmother braced me with both hands, the touch of her skin familiar yet full of power. “You’re not trapped, Bryn.”

  I wanted to argue, to show her how weak I really was, but no words came out.

  “The dream is not a cage for you, Bryn. Your mind is not a cage at all.” She leaned in close, my reflection trapped in her eyes. “It is the key.”

  My breathing slowed, every part of me quieting. Somehow my touch had released Calvin, and whether he was alive or not, he was still free from that place. But I hadn’t woken up. No matter how much I’d pleaded. No matter how much I’d tried. Without the strength of someone else’s dreams, I hadn’t even been able to release myself from my restraints.

  Dreams…

  Those few seconds after absorbing the boy’s dreams was the only time I hadn’t felt helpless. “The other patients…” I searched my grandmother’s eyes for confirmation. “They’re like Calvin. Like me. You want me to go back for them…”

  “Wake them,” she said. “It’s the only way to wake yourself.”

  The throb returned to my throat. “And then I can rest?” Tears scratched their way to the surface. “I can…end it?”

  The sadness returned to her voice too. “Is that what you want?”

  I used to think about what I wanted. Before I knew what I was. Before the shadows. Before Anso. When my nightmares were still just that.

  I’d wanted a normal life. One where the hospital wasn’t my second home. Where my mom could be happy and so could I. I wanted homecoming dances and football games and debate club and straight As. I wanted bonfires beneath a blanket with a boy I could trust; friends who I could count on to save me a seat every day at lunch. I wanted to go to sleep at night without having to worry about how much time I might lose—how many days or weeks. I wanted to wake up every morning in a body that wasn’t weak. In a body that wasn’t just bones, everything brittle and ready to break. I wanted to be healed. I wanted to be happy.

  After meeting Roman, I thought maybe he’d given me those things. Even now, I wondered if he still could.

  If there was even the slightest chance that I could save the world; if t
here was even the slightest chance that I could save myself…I wanted to keep believing in the possibility of happiness. Of love.

  Right then, every want or need I’d ever had bubbling to the surface, it was that one that ached more than everything else. I wanted to love Roman. I wanted to live and be loved by him too. If the world fell apart or if it didn’t, if I faced death as a failure or as a hero, all I wanted was one more moment with him. To say that I loved him. To say goodbye. To watch the sparks between our skin ignite until there was nothing left of the light.

  “Do you remember what your grandfather told you, Bryn?”

  The memory hung on the edge of my lips. “There’s no such thing as just a dream.” His voice played in my head. “He was talking about me. About what I can do.”

  My grandmother smiled. “Not just what you can do, Bryn. It’s what you are.” She brushed my cheek. “The Dreamers aren’t the only ones who need saving. You. Roman. The dreams that brought you together. If you let go of them now…you’ll lose yourself too.”

  81

  Dani

  My knuckles blanched against the bars. Tears flooded my eyes, forcing me not to look. But I had to.

  I had to see him.

  Felix stared back as long as he could. Until the buzz was so loud it almost wrenched him off his feet. He was fixed in the center of the cage, fists clenched, not daring to duck. Waiting.

  The horde swelled over him, the collective flap of their wings igniting the wind before a storm. But they didn’t stay there. They didn’t swarm him. They laced through the bars, weaving in and out as the buzz rolled like thunder in my direction.

  I backed away from the bars, barely breathing.

  “Dani!” Felix rattled the bars, trying to force himself through. “Dani!”

  Legs latched onto my collarbone, another locust clinging to my chin. I flicked them off as the swarm swiped at me, a giant hand scraping my skin. Metal pulled tight against my throat, one of the locusts caught on the locket I’d pulled from Bryn’s body. I crushed the locust in my fist, another taking its place and picking at the thin chain.

  They swirled around me, a cyclone of wings and teeth and blood. Wounds split across my skin, each one like the glowing end of a cigarette. My throat burned as the chain snapped free. It glinted, caught on a pair of wings. The locust tumbled and I snatched the necklace.

  My hands were slick, the invisible cuts now burning red. Teeth burrowed into the back of my neck as bodies knocked against my face, legs tangling in my hair. Teeth snatched my lip, dragging and tearing. The chain slid between my fingers, my hands flying to my face.

  I swiped at the air, trying to clear the bodies long enough to see the chain. It flickered against black as the locusts dragged it between the bars above my head. My breath caught. The chain snagged. And then I jumped.

  My fist closed around the locket, a locust trapped between my palm and the portrait of my grandmother. Teeth twisted into the skin like a corkscrew, grinding until I could see the body bulging on the other side. I screamed, panting and trying not to faint. Blood soaked the bottom of the cage, everything burning as the locust broke through the skin.

  I fell, clutching the locket, my blood waking the memories trapped inside. I reached for Bryn. Not her body but the dreams. Wherever they were. Wherever she was.

  Bryn. Bryn. Bryn.

  My vision blurred. My fingers loosened. The locket tumbled, bloodstained, and then it vanished.

  82

  Roman

  Above my dad, the moon disappeared, frost clinging to his coat.

  It scaled my arms too, trying to fix my grip. My hands leapt back from him instead. “Run.”

  He stared back, confused.

  Then the shadow spoke. “But I thought we could all spend some quality time together…”

  I stepped between my dad and the shadow. “Go. Now!”

  I finally heard the crunch of his steps on the gravel. I didn’t look back as he retreated.

  My shadow frowned. The mist wafting from him finally solidified, mirroring me in every way. “It’s really too bad that you won’t get a chance to say goodbye.”

  I waited for that familiar anger to spike in me again, for a flaming hand to reach inside my doppelganger and rip him apart. But all I could do was chase the heat, never pinning it down. I knew I was supposed to explode…but there was nothing left.

  “I didn’t lose my chance.” My voice was calm; matter of fact.

  It made him uneasy and he hissed. “You know this is the end, don’t you?” He reached out a hand, feigning comfort. “It’s time for you to rest, Roman.”

  “No,” I said. “This isn’t the end.”

  He glared, seething again. “I’m inside you, Roman. I always will be.”

  “Maybe you are.” I flicked my forefinger and thumb, playing with the sparks instead of dousing him in them. “Maybe you’re right and you always will be. But that doesn’t mean that I have to let you out.”

  “You think you have a choice?”

  I smiled. “I think that whatever this is…” I gestured to the road and the night and the flashing lights, “wherever this is, this is where you’ll stay. In my memories. In my nightmares. That’s where you belong.”

  He sneered. “And how exactly are you going to keep me here?”

  A single flame leapt from my skin to his, scattering him in the wind. “By waking up.”

  83

  Bryn

  Cold metal pulled at my neck. My fingers flexed, wanting to scratch at it. The movement made someone gasp and I grew still. It was almost too dark to see her. When I blinked she was already leaning over the bed, one finger reaching for what lay at my throat. She grazed it, the locket snapping open. And then she grazed me.

  The shock ignited sparks, weak and hovering between us like fireflies. She whimpered, wanting to let go. She couldn’t. Her dreams slithered through my veins, chasing the numbness from every muscle. My thoughts untangled from the medicinal fog and the first thing I remembered was the little girl’s friend, the boy who I’d made disappear.

  She disintegrated much slower than he had, her face wrought with tears. She was afraid.

  “You’re going to wake up,” I whispered. “You’re going to be okay.”

  Relief made her vanish in an instant, my gaze moving to the restraints. They untied themselves, metal clanking over the side of the bed. Both feet planted on the floor, the sting of numbness was gone. I could feel the cold tile, the pipes and electric wiring hidden underneath. I closed my eyes and sensed the bodies moving in and out of rooms, the machines humming, the fluids passing through IVs and veins.

  But nothing was louder than the beat of my heart beneath my great-grandmother’s locket. I clasped the photograph, thumbs glowing just bright enough to see their faces. I remembered every second…every detail of that night. The smell of the cake batter as my grandmother and her siblings fought over mixing it, the warmth of the oven pressed against the windows, the smile on my grandmother’s face.

  But those weren’t the only memories that came rushing back. I stared down at the restraints, at the imprint of my body in the mattress. Every pill and syrup and drug-induced morsel of food scraped back down my throat. I relived every cold sweat and bad dream; every brush of someone’s hand and every bruise they’d left behind. I remembered my mom abandoning me and the hours I’d spent waiting. For her. For Roman.

  For me…

  I gripped the mattress, fingertips still sparking with the girl’s dreams. My fists clenched, the light filling me, slow. I watched it flux beneath my skin, starlight telling the story of Anso’s daughter, of the Children of the Moon. Of how they’d lived and died, their blood waking more than just the other Dreamers. I felt them waking. Every first breath. Every dream. Mine too. The ones I’d summoned and the ones I’d surrendered. The ones I’d hated and hidden from. I savored every second of remembering. The power. The freedom.

  My eyes strained from the light. At first I thought it was too bright fr
om all those months of being trapped inside this room. But once the rush finally quieted, I sensed what was pushing the past towards the surface. Cole.

  His dreams danced beneath my skin and I could almost hear his voice. Laughing. Complaining. I almost laughed too.

  A sharp whisper grazed my cheek, chasing away my relief and pulling my eyes to the wall. Black lines were ripped across the surface, crossing and weaving into the shadows of trees. The faces between the leaves were wild. Monstrous. Nothing like the women who’d been watching over me; the women who’d sent me back here to finish what I’d started.

  My throat burned, eyes blurring with tears. I remembered every hour of every day that they’d tied me to this bed. And I’d let them. I dragged myself to the wall, needing to see the madness up close. I’d let them do that to me too.

  My hands shook, black flecks of lead fluttering beneath my breath. How did I get so lost? My stomach knotted, sick. Anger bubbled up inside me, the first emotion I could actually name. For so long it had been the only emotion powerful enough to reach me. For so long it had been controlling every move I made.

  I traced the lines until I was dizzy. I didn’t want to be controlled anymore. I didn’t want to be angry. I pressed one finger to the wall, as delicately as the girl had when she’d grazed the locket. Her light still lingered and I let it loose, the black lines turned to golden strands. They flashed, burning white, until the wall was blank again. New again. Until I felt new again too.

  Sirens blared just outside the door. I knew they were looking for the girl, and if they were smart, they’d start in here.

  I slipped into the hallway, disappearing around the corner just as I heard someone mention my room number. I sunk against Calvin’s door, wishing for a second that he was still behind it. I wasn’t sure what was. Maybe the shadows. Maybe something worse.

  The thought spurred me forward, feet dragging me down the hall and to the right. It had been so long since I’d felt that pull towards something, the force so potent that I wondered how I could have ever doubted it. A guard appeared, something in his hand. I pressed myself to a locked door, cracking it and falling inside just before he looked up from the device.