Finding My Way Home

by Green, Vicki

  It’s early evening now, but you can’t tell by how dark it is. I know we will be getting the colder weather and snow soon. I told Bailey that tomorrow I will winter proof the house for her.

  We are sitting at a picnic table. I just got back from getting her and myself a corn dog, chips and beers. “I’ve had the best time today. Thank you,” she says and then takes a huge bite of her corn dog, leaving a smather of mustard on the side of her mouth. Before I think, I react. I lean over and rub it off with my finger. My eyes quickly move to hers, the look of shock and another emotion, desire, clearly on her face. “Sorry, you just had…”

  She takes my finger and moves her hand around until we are holding hands. “Don’t say you’re sorry. Really, it’s ok.” My eyes look at our hands, and I intertwine my fingers through hers then look back up at her and smile. Her face lights up with her smile, as she looks down shyly. She’s amazing.

  “I hate to stop this but…” She giggles. “I really need to go to the restroom. Raincheck?” I nod. My smile is now a permanent fixture. She stands and starts to walk away as we slowly and agonizingly release our hold of each other’s hand. I watch her walk off, her bottom swaying, and she looks over her shoulder and winks. Caught. I don’t care though, I can’t stop watching her. My heart swells and I sigh. Damn! I am really falling deep and fast.

  As I watch people walking around, the crowd getting thinner the later it gets, I look down at my watch. She’s been gone too long, and I’m getting worried. I get up, throw our trash away and head toward the restrooms. As I round the corner, I see a small crowd of people gathered around, and I start running, something’s not right. I push people away, fighting my way through them. Once I get to the end, I see Bren sitting on the ground, her face in her hands and Kathryn squatting in front of her.

  I run up to them and squat beside Kathryn. “Another deep breath, honey. That’s it.” She looks at me, concern all over her face. She tilt’s her head back at the people behind us and I take my cue. I stand up and walk towards them.

  “It’s all good, folks. Thanks so much for your concern. Everything is just fine now.” They all nod, smile and begin to disperse. I jog back, taking my original place. Kathryn smiles and nods at me.

  “Bren? Do you think you can stand now? Hutch is here. Are you ready to go home?” Bren’s hands leave her face. Her wet and swollen eyes move to mine quickly, and she throws herself at me. My arms instinctively wrap around her, my hand at the back of her head, and she begins to sob quietly into my chest. I look at Kathryn and see her eyes are wide as she watches Bren.

  I begin to stand, pulling Bren with me. She wraps her arms around my waist, keeping her face buried into my chest. My arm moves around her shoulder, my other hand on her arm that’s holding onto me in a death grip. “Come on, baby. Let’s get you home.” Looking over at Kathryn, I receive her brow raise and a smile. She nods and walks away, knowing Bren is in my capable hands.

  I carry her back to the house in silence, until we are in her room. I set her down on her bed and when I try to pull away, her fists that are tight on my shirt, won’t let me pull free. I sit next to her, my fingers running through her soft hair, and I lightly kiss the top of her head. “It’s over now, baby. It’s over. Let me just get something to wash up your face and some water for you to drink. Ok?” She finally looks up at me and nods and releases her tight hold on me. I get up, walk quickly into her bathroom, and find a washcloth and wet it. When I get back into her room, I grab a bottled water out of her fridge and sit back down beside her. My heart breaks as I see her sitting there hugging herself, rocking slightly. I open the lid of the water bottle and place the opening against her lips. Her shaking hand takes the bottle and she drinks. When she’s done, I take the bottle away, replace the cap and set it on the floor. I begin wiping her face with the wash cloth, removing the dried mascara that had run down her face.

  Once I got her cleaned up, I laid the cloth on the floor by the water. She stands up. Her hands cover her mouth, her eyes moving from my shirt to my eyes. “Oh, Hutch! I’m so sorry. Your shirt! I’ll wash it for you. I hope I didn’t ruin it,” she says quickly, shaking her head.

  I look down to find mascara and makeup all over the area where her face was buried earlier. My eyes return to find hers are tearing up again. I take her in my arms. “Shhhh. No. It’s just a shirt, baby. You are more important. Don’t worry about it. I can get tons more shirts. There’s only one of you.” She looks up at me and smiles slightly. “Feel like telling me what happened? You don’t have to but I gotta tell ya, you scared the shit outta me, baby.” Her smile dissipates fast.

  She sits back down on the bed and takes my hand in hers, looking down at them. “I was leaving the restroom and a guy I hadn’t seen before cornered me. I back up against the wall and was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt until I smelled the liquor on his breath as he spoke. I think he was trying to be nice but flashbacks of another time in my life started taking over and I lost it.” She looks at me with sad eyes. “I started hyperventilating and couldn’t catch my breath. Kathryn was on her way to the restroom when she saw me fall onto the ground.”

  I grab her with my free hand and pull her into me, her face plants right into my chest. “No one’s gonna hurt you, baby. Not on my watch. Never. Again.”

  After a few minutes of me rubbing her back, she sits up, looks at me, her brows moving down and gives me a sad smile. “You know?”

  I move my hand to place it on top of ours. She looks down at it and back up to meet my eyes. “I don’t really know anything, for sure. I just have my own hunches from what I’ve seen. That’s all.” I smile and brush some hair that escaped her ponytail back, and tuck it behind her ear.

  Her smile widens a little. “And, what are your hunches?”

  I clear my throat but my eyes never leave hers. “I think someone hurt you, badly. Not just your heart but your mind and body. I think that’s why you ran and found Sterling and I think I want to kill the motherfucker who did that to you and I’m not a violent person. At. All.”

  She looks down and begins rubbing the top of my hand with her finger. “We met in college and fell in love pretty quickly. Well, at least I know I did.” She looks up at me, but continues the caressing of my hand. “We hadn’t been married but about six months when he started drinking, and yelling at me for stupid things and then…” She swallows. “He started coming home, later and later, and one day, out of the blue, he back hands me. I landed on a big chair we had. The impact so hard that I flew backwards over it and the chair landed on top of me. That’s when it started.”

  I pull her close to me, wrapping my arms around her and place my chin on top of her head. “No one deserves that. No one. There’s no excuse for doing that to someone. I wish we knew each other back then. I wish I was there to stop him, to take you away from him.” Damn, I hear her crying into my t-shirt. I’m such an idiot. “Shhh, baby. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  Sniffling she looks up at me and attaches her mouth to mine. Fuck, can she kiss! Her tongue licks my bottom lip asking for entrance, and I oblige immediately. Her hands push against my chest, and I slowly lay down, her body going with me. My fingers move into her silky hair while our tongues do some exploring.

  Before I can blink, her body has left mine. She’s backing up until she hits the wall, and I can tell she is trembling.

  “I… I’m so… I’m so sorry.” Her trembling fingers run through her hair, her chin quivering. “I don’t know what got into me. That was not appropriate. I…”

  I get up and walk slowly to her, taking my time with my hand’s up in the air. I feel like I am walking towards an injured animal, afraid I will spook her. I guess some of that could be true. “Hey, now. There was nothing wrong with what we just did.” Once in front of her, she looks up into my eyes and bites her lip. Ok. That’s just gonna get my cock harder. Now’s not the time for that! Dammit! I take her hand and bring her closer, and she lets me. Taking that cue, I pull her the re
st of the way and into my arms. She lays her head on my chest and sighs. I run my fingers through her hair, and I feel her body as it begins to relax.

  “You can kiss me anytime you would like, baby.” My chest vibrates as she giggles. “And God, I hope you let me kiss you too. That was fantastic.” Her head moves slightly, her eyes looking up at mine, and she smiles. “Come here.” I take her hand and lead her to the bed. We sit down, again, and I put my fingers through hers. “Jodi, my wife of five years, was taken away from me by Cancer.” I look at her, her expression sad. “You would have liked each other and in some ways you are a lot alike. Only in the sense that you both have very big hearts.” She smiles. “When I came here, I was depressed to the point that nothing mattered anymore. I didn’t even want to exist, not without Jodi. I came to Sterling and I met Betty, then Bailey and well, here I am.” I kiss her forehead, her eyes closing slightly, and I hear her sigh. “I had a loving wife, a football career and a modeling career. I actually had everything I ever wanted in life. The day Jodi was taken from me was the day everything in my life ceased to exist. I had my sister and my parents support but it just wasn’t enough. I just couldn’t bring myself out of the deep darkness I had gotten into. Sad, I know.”

  She sits up, placing a hand on my chest and kisses my lips, gently. “I’m so glad you at least had family to try to help you. And, I’m even happier you shared that with me and that you let me into your world, now. I’m honored and grateful.” I couldn’t help myself. My mouth went to hers and kissed her. I had to make myself stop though, not wanting to scare her any more than she already was.

  She smiles sweetly. “Can we talk more tomorrow? I’m really tired.” I stand and pull her with me to the door. Turning, I kiss her on her forehead while rubbing her back and press my forehead against hers.

  “Baby, we can talk whenever you want to.” A heavy sigh escapes her beautiful mouth. I bend down to look her in the eyes. “What, baby? What’s wrong? Did I do something?”

  Her mouth locks with mine. Our kissing becomes heated until she pulls away, slightly. “I love when you call me baby. It makes me feel special,” she says while her lips are still pressed to mine.

  I suck on her bottom lip for a minute and then look at her smiling face. “You are special. Don’t you ever forget it.” The look on her face was priceless. I finally open the door, not wanting ever to leave. I turn my head, wink at her and head downstairs. Fuck, I’m falling in love with this girl.

  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

  I watch Hutch as he descends the stairs until I can’t see him anymore. I slowly close the door and get ready for bed. Once I am done and in bed, I stare up at the ceiling, thoughts of his gorgeous face, his lips and our kissing meshing all together in my mind. Damn, he’s a great kisser and so hot. No wonder his body is so fit, an ex-football player and a model? Gah! He’s so sweet, kind, gentle, and I love it when he calls me baby. I’ve never felt like this before. Not even with Darrin. I know we were young and in love, but I didn’t feel anything near what I am feeling right now. Not even back then.

  I awake the next morning not realizing I had finally fallen asleep. I couldn’t get my mind off of Hutch and his kissing. Yum! Even with very little sleep, I feel refreshed. I jump out of bed, take a quick shower and put on my running attire. I run down the stairs and out the front door and screech to a stop when I find Hutch leaning against the porch rail, waiting for me. My heart is racing, mostly from seeing his gorgeous face.

  “Going somewhere?” He laughs, and I give him my best smirk. He holds his hand out and says, “Come on. I’ve brought you some water, since you seem to drop yours a lot.” He smirks back. Cute and sexy.

  I take his hand, his fingers moving in-between mine, and we walk to the trail. I love the affection he gives me. Darrin never did that, he didn’t even like kissing in public, not even a peck. Ok, I know I can’t and shouldn’t compare, but it’s hard not to. Oh, my God. I wonder if Hutch does that with Jodi and me. Now, I’m nervous. She was his whole world, how can I compare to that? I can’t.

  As we jog along the trail, I can tell he is holding back so we can run together, but he’s hardly sweating or breathing heavy, and I am dying. I finally stop by our rock, bend over placing my hands on my knees and try to get my breathing back to normal. I look up to see him sitting on the rock and digging through his backpack. Ok. I may hate him just a little right now. He brings out a cold bottled water and hands it to me. I stand, take the water bottle, rip off the cap and guzzle. Damn, I needed that. Ok, maybe hate is too strong of a word. By the time I have emptied the bottle, I hear laughter. My eyes squint his way causing him to stop, but he can barely contain it. I walk over, sit next to him and punch his shoulder. “Funny,” I say giggling.

  He nudges my shoulder. “What? You’re doing great! Hey, at least you haven’t thrown up yet,” he laughs. Oh, yeah? It’s on!

  I stand up and turn to him. “May I please have another water bottle?” I say batting my lashes. He smiles, digs in his bag and hands me another. I twist off the cap, take a drink and then throw the water at him, drop the bottle, turn and run. I have never run so fast in all my life. I turn my head to see him approaching me fast so I face forward and push myself. The wind is knocked out of me, his arm wrapping around my waist, and we fall to the ground. Thank God we landed on the grass as we came out of the trail.

  “Ompfh!” We both yelled as we hit the surface. We both lay there breathing heavily. We burst out laughing until he rolls over, half on top of me, and silences me with his mouth. Our kissing starts out slow but quickly becomes hot and heavy. My hands find his hair, my fingers grabbing some of the longer hair in my hands while his hand finds my breast. He squeezes and then runs his thumb over my nipple. My body aches for him, for his touch, and my back arches, as my legs squirm beneath him. His mouth breaks from mine and I whimper. Brushing back the hair from my face, he looks deep into my eyes.

  “I… I need to stop. We need to stop or I won’t be able to. I want you so much. I need you so much. Stop me. Please, stop me.” I raise my head and kiss him. His mouth following mine as I lay my head back down. My fingers still in his hair, my other hand moves around to his broad back, and I grab a bunch of his t-shirt, pulling the fabric into my fist. His hand goes back to fondling my breast, then moves down, until he cups my pussy through my shorts. I meet his hand with my hips as I buck against it. Oh, my God! We need to stop or I will be stripping him right here.

  My hands push on his chest, gently, until he looks down at me. He’s panting heavily, a small smile showing only a small fraction of his dimples. “God. I don’t want to stop, but we should.” He kisses me tenderly, gets up and pulls on my hands until I am standing in front of him. He bends down and kisses my forehead. My eyes close. The sweet moment making my heart swell.

  He looks at me and chuckles. “Thank God one of us is strong. I was about ready to start undressing you right here.” I giggle. He has no idea.

  We get back to the house and head to our separate rooms to get cleaned up. I’m standing in my bathroom, towel drying my hair, when a knock comes on my door. I open the door, still rubbing my hair with the towel, when I see the most gorgeous looking man alive standing there with a bunch of wild flowers in his hand. I look up to his face, his eyes gleaming and his beautiful smile so wide his dimples are the deepest I’ve seen yet.

  “For you, pretty lady,” he says handing them to me. I fold the towel over my arm, take the flowers and close my eyes as I breathe them in. As my eyes open I find him staring at my head. Oh, shit! I throw the flowers at him, run into the bathroom and slam the door. I can hear his laughter as it gets closer to the door. I start brushing my hair, quickly, my face beet red in embarrassment. Damn! My hair was all over the place. It looked hideous.

  “Hey, your hair looked great. No need to be embarrassed,” he says laughing. Oh, really? A tap comes at the door. “Really, baby. It’s beautiful, just like the rest of you. Come out.”

  I open the door slightly and only see t
he flowers. My smile is huge as I open the door the rest of the way. He moves the flowers over a bit, and I see his bright face, his eyes gleaming and his dimples so deep. He leans in and kisses me. Gah, so romantic and such a great kisser. I’m a goner!

  “Hmmm. You taste delicious,” he says against my lips. He moves back, takes my hand and pulls me the rest of the way out of the bathroom. “Come on. Let’s go for a walk. Could be the last day we are able to do that for a while.”

  Chapter Six

  I had the most magnificent day today. I’ve never had a day where I could walk along a street, feeling free, holding hands with a gorgeous man and kissing each other whenever we wanted to. As we would walk by people, they would look at us holding hands, and they would smile and nod at us. We must be the talk of this small town now.

  As we begin our walk home, I look up at him and find him smiling at me. “What?” I ask as I smile back.

  He leans over and kisses me. “You’re the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.” My heart is racing, and I can’t breathe. I can feel the adrenaline running through me, and my smile can’t get any bigger.

  When we get home, Bailey tells us she isn’t feeling well so she won’t be joining us for dinner. Secretly, I think she’s fine but wants to give us some privacy. She’s so sweet. Bailey must have gone to the grocery store today because the refrigerator is full of food. I make quick work of baking a couple of chicken breasts with cream of mushroom soup in the oven. I throw a salad together and I put some rolls in a basket. We decide just to eat at the kitchen table and Hutch pours us some wine.

  “While looking for something to make for dinner, I noticed the refrigerator is full of food. Bailey must have gone to the store today,” I remark between bites.