Finding My Way Home

by Green, Vicki

  She sniffs and looks up at me. “I know, but… it’s not just that. I…”

  Confusion takes over, and my brows crease. “You what, baby?”

  Her chin quivers and the tears flow down her beautiful face. “I’m pregnant,” she cries. “I’m so sorry! I forgot to take my pills and… and I am late and… I bought a pregnancy test the other day but I… I thought maybe it was all the stress that I hadn’t started, then I… I thought… Oh, my God. I remembered I hadn’t been taking my pills and I… I’m so sorry!” Her face buries into my chest again and her sobbing overtakes her. Pregnant? I’m gonna be a dad! How can she be upset, unless? Does she not want a baby? No, no way. Maybe she thinks I don’t want a baby. Oh! She couldn’t be more wrong.

  I sit up, moving her with me, placing my hands under her arms and lift her until she’s straddling me, her face moving into the crook of my neck and her crying continues. I take her face in my hands and move her head back until I can look at her. Her eyes are closed, tears running down her now splotchy face, and I kiss her wet lips. “Hey. Hey, look at me, baby.” Her eyes open, her lashes all wet and clumping together. I reach over to the nightstand, grab a Kleenex and wipe her eyes and nose. “Now, that’s better.” She sniffs, but her chin is still quivering. “I love you. I’m gonna be a dad! Baby, I am so happy, I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am. To have a child made with love, a piece of you and me together in a being that we can love and cherish together. My heart couldn’t be more full of love and happiness right now.”

  She leans forward, her mouth latching onto mine. I kiss her with all the love I’m feeling right in this moment. We continue our kiss, both of our bodies flaming, and I end up showing her just how happy I am as I make sweet, passionate love to my girl, and then again, in our morning shower. After I dry her off, she leaves to get dressed and after my shave, I find her pregnancy test in the bathroom trash can. Pregnant. Fuck that sounds so good. I’m gonna be a dad!

  Chapter Thirteen

  After dressing, I’m sitting on the bed and writing in my journal. I skipped ahead because I want to capture everything that happened this morning while it’s still fresh in my mind. I’m gonna be a mom. Oh. My. God! I hope he looks just like his daddy. I’m so blessed. Never did I think I would ever have a baby. Have a loving husband. One that would take care of me, love me, and I could love with my whole heart. I can’t believe this is happening. God did bring us to this town, I truly believe that now. My head moves to the bathroom door when I hear it open, to see my man walking out, a towel wrapped around his slim waist, and my eyes are glued to his fine broad and muscular chest. Damn! He is the most gorgeous, sexy man I have ever laid eyes on. Shit! I’m horny again.

  He stops in front of me. His eyebrow raises, and a smile plays on his lips. “Ready for round three?” He moves, and I set my journal down on the bed and open my legs, so he can move in between them. My hands grasp his towel, and I slowly open it until it drops on the floor around his feet. I lick my lips as I stare at his engorged cock. His hands rest on my head, stroking my hair as my mouth envelops his length, and I begin to suck and lick. “Mmmmm,” I hum around him causing his cock to twitch in my mouth. My hand moves to cup his balls, squeezing and fondling, which enlists his hips to move back and forth.

  “God! Baby! Ungh!” He moans.

  His semen begins to squirt in my mouth, slowly at first, until I caress his balls more and speed up my tempo on his cock, and then it starts pouring out. I swallow as fast as I can until there is no more. I clean him up by licking the head, sucking until my mouth is removed, abruptly and his mouth is on mine.

  “Fuck, baby. You are incredible,” he whispers against my mouth. He pushes me down onto the bed, his naked glorious body hovering over me. “Let me reciprocate. Let me love you.” Leaning up, I kiss him madly, I lay back down, and then I start giggling.

  “Hey, not that I don’t want you to trust me, but you’re wearing me out. I need to eat. I have two to eat for now and this little guy is starving,” I say rubbing my flat stomach. He looks down and then back to me, his dimpled smile showing brightly.

  “He, huh? I can go for that.” He kisses me quickly. “But I could go for a little princess too. As long as he or she and their mom is healthy, that’s all that matters to me.” He gets up and takes my hand, pulling me up and off the bed. “Come on, mama. Let’s feed you and our baby.” He lets go of my hand and quickly throws on a pair of sweatpants and shirt and returns to me, taking my hand again, and starts leading me to the door.

  I stop abruptly, and he gives me a confused look. “Um. Can we not tell anyone about the baby, just yet? I… I think it’s too soon and don’t want to jinx anything, ok?”

  Leaning over he kisses my forehead. “I understand but just so you know, it’s going to be really hard not to wear a shit eating smile on my face all the time. It will totally give it away, but I’ll try.” I giggle and kiss his full lips and let him lead me downstairs.

  After eating and getting my tummy full, I knock on Bailey’s door and take in a tray of food to her. I help her sit up, fluffing a pillow behind her and place the tray over her lap. She had several coughing fits while eating, and I get her pills and water for her. Sitting back in the chair beside the bed, I share my news.

  “Oh, my child. How wonderful! I’m so happy for you and Hutch. And, tell me. How did he react?” She asks as I take the tray from her lap and place it on her side table. She barely touched her food. She pats the bed next to her, and I sit down, her frail hand covering mine.

  “He is so happy, Bailey. I asked him not to tell anyone yet, but I couldn’t not tell you. You’re like my grandmother. I had to share with you. And… well, I didn’t want…” I couldn’t finish. Tears start forming in my already cried out eyes from this morning.

  She pats my hand. “You don’t have to say it, dear. I know my time is drawing closer and I’m ready. Don’t be sad for me. I’ve lived a full life, a happy life and I’m ready to go and be with my love now. Oh, I’ll miss you so much, but know I will be watching you, Hutch and my great grandson.” I quit crying and look at her quickly. “Yes, it’s a boy.” She sighs. “I wish I will be here to hold him, love on him and spoil him, but I’ll be protecting him and you all from where I’ll be.” She smiles, a lone tear making its way down her wrinkled cheek.

  “How do you know? How are you so sure?” I whisper.

  She laughs. “It’s just a gut feeling, dear.” Her eyes grow serious. “But I’m never wrong.” She winks.

  Betty calls me later and tells me not to come into work for the next few days. She said she got someone else to take over so I can spend time with Bailey. She will be staying in the spare bedroom, so she can spend as much time with her mother as she can.

  I tell Hutch what Bailey told me, about our baby being a boy, and his surprised face tells me everything. I just know that secretly he wants a boy. I hope it is! He and I spend the rest of the day sitting in the family room, cuddling on the couch and watching the snow fall out of the front picture window. If we didn’t have all the other things to worry about, Bailey, Darrin, then this would be the perfect day. Hutch and I take turns checking on Bailey even though Betty is sitting in her room, not wanting to leave her mother for a minute. She doesn’t mind the intrusion as Bailey is sleeping most of the time. Her coughing fits are getting worse and Doc has been by a few times today, giving us his worried look each time he leaves.

  It’s evening now, and Betty had to leave to go check on the Café and lock up. Hutch, Simon and Chris are cleaning up the kitchen from dinner, and I’m sitting in the family room looking at the roaring fire in the fireplace. Suddenly, I hear a noise coming from the basement.

  I walk down the hall and hesitate to open the door to the basement. I look at the entrance to the kitchen and hear the guys laughing. Looking back at the door, I open it and start to head downstairs, quietly closing the door behind me. It’s eerily quiet as I proceed down the stairs. I flip the switch as I reach the bottom but no li
ghts come on. Shit! I’m an idiot! I feel like I’m in that scary movie again. Why didn’t I tell the guys before just heading down here? I’m so stupid! I walk slowly towards the bar, hoping the back bar lights will work when someone grabs me, covering my mouth with their hand. I grab his hand with both of mine and struggle and try to call out, but my cries are muffled.

  “Shhhh, sweetheart. We don’t want anyone to interrupt us, now do we?” Darrin whispers into my ear. My body begins shivering in fear as his free hand cups my breast and squeezes. “I always loved your full breasts, so plump, so soft. I’m gonna enjoy our last night together,” he whispers, his breath blowing strands of my hair. He continues to fondle my breast until his hand moves down and goes beneath my sweatpants and panties. He presses against my mound, a finger presses into me. I struggle again, harder until his hand moves out of my pants quickly and punches my face.

  “UHHHH!” I scream into his hand and his fist hits me again on my face.

  “Shut the fuck up, bitch!” He whispers loudly. Cold metal presses hard against my temple. “Don’t ruin my fun, whore. I don’t wanna have to kill you before I fuck you one last time. You owe me that much.” My eyes look at him in horror as he moves us closer to the bar. After setting his gun down on the counter, his hand is back in my pants, and I struggle again as he inserts two fingers into my pussy. No! No! Please don’t let this happen. HUTCH! Oh, my God! Help me!

  When we hear the door open, he turns us, his hand leaving my pants to retrieve his gun. “Zoey? Are you down there?” Hutch yells. HUTCH!

  Darrin moves us to the side of the bar, his gun raised toward the stairs. His hand clamps over my mouth harder, his other arm wrapped around me, so I can’t move. I try to pull away, but he’s too strong. I can hear footsteps walking down slowly. No! Hutch! Go back! Get out! I’m now breathing heavy and trying to pry my arms free from Darrin. I feel his gun at my head again, “Stop moving, whore, or I’ll end you right now and then everyone else in his house. Be still.” I stop struggling, the fear of him killing everyone I love bringing me to a halt.

  “Zoey,” Hutch whispers into the darkness. The silence envelopes me as I wait and try to formulate a plan to get away without Hutch getting killed in the process.

  Then, everything happens so quickly. Darrin and I look up at the stairs and watch as Bailey slowly begins to walk down and quietly says, “Zoey?” Hutch runs towards us. Darrin lets go of me, and they struggle over the gun. Hutch hits him over and over until Darrin turns a bit and hits Hutch on the side of his head with the butt of the gun. I scream as Hutch collapses onto the floor, blood pouring from his head. I begin running toward him when Darrin grabs me around my middle and lifts me up, my legs swinging back and forth while my hands press down on his arm trying to get free. “NOOOOOOOO!” I scream. Just then, I hear a loud gunshot ringing in my ear, I look up quickly, and I helplessly watch Bailey falling down the few steps she had left to take until her body hits the floor with a thump. “OH MY GOD!!!! BAILEY!!!! NOOOOOO!” I yell.

  Chris and Simon must have heard all the noise and came yelling and running down the stairs. My feet hit the floor as Darrin lowers me, the gun pressed to my head. He yells, “Ok, everyone. Stop right there!” Chris and Simon come to an abrupt halt as they reach the bottom of the stairs, both of them look at me, then Baily, then Hutch and then back at me again. Their hands raise up to the ceiling as they back up to the wall around the stairs as Darrin is flipping the gun back and forth at them. “That’s right, get over there to the table and have a seat. Time to get comfortable.”

  “Your life ends tonight, you BASTARD!” Simon yells. Darrin laughs and keeps waving his gun at them directing them to the chairs.

  Once they sit down, Darrin releases me, and I run over and land on my knees beside Hutch. My hands are all over his face, his hair, and they come back blood covered when I check his head. “OWWWWW!” I scream. I’m pulled back to a standing position by my hair. I whimper as Darrin pulls me against his chest.

  “No, whore. Get the rope out of my bag over there,” he yells pointing at a bag on the floor by the bar. “And tie up your friends.” He releases me and pushes me towards the bar. My vision is blurred by my tears, but I manage to find the rope and begin tying up Chris.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “If you can get free, please take care of Hutch and Bailey. I won’t tie the ropes tight.” I fall to the ground with the impact of Darrin’s gun as it hits the side of my face. “Ompfh!”

  “WHORE! I SAID TIE THEM, NOT HAVE A FUCKING CONVERSATION!” He yells. Rubbing the side of my face, which is now swelling from the impacts of the gun and his fist, I get up and finish tying up my friends.

  When I am barely finished tying Simon’s hands, Darrin pulls me back to him, wrapping his hand around my arm and he shoves the gun against my head. He backs up, pulling me along, moving us towards the stairs. “We’re leaving now. Say goodbye to your whore. You won’t be seeing each other again.”

  “Hutch,” I cry into his hand.

  Chris and Simon are yelling as Darrin pushes me up the stairs. I struggle and try to get away as he pulls me out the front door, the heavy falling snow coating us immediately, he moves us to the trail.

  He speaks while we make our way on the trail. “Fuckin, whore! Why in the fuck would you leave me? Why would you even want to?” He screams, “I gave you EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!” He loosens his grasp enough that I break free and start running. I make it to Hutch’s and my big rock, it’s where I always stop to turn around when I’m jogging, when suddenly, I hit the ground hard.

  “OMPH!” I moan as he tackles me. His gun lands in the snow two feet away, right by the rock. My body begins to twist and turn as I try to get him off me, so I can get to the gun. This needs to end the fuck now! I need to kill him and get back to Hutch and my friends. I need to help them! His weight is suddenly off me, and I turn in time to see him running for the gun. I get up quickly and run towards him until the gun is in his hand, the sound of the shot deafening me, and I am thrown back into the snow on my back. Pain radiates through my left arm. My hand covers my shoulder, blood seeping through my fingers. “Uhhhhh,” I groan. Dots begin to form in my eyes as I struggle to get up from the ground. I try to stop my teetering as I hold my arm and stare into Darrin’s eyes.

  He laughs, the gun shaking with his movement. “I told you this would end here, bitch.” His eyes roam my body, up and down, his gun waving with his motions. “Pity. I really wanted to fuck you one more time before I killed you. Damn, pity.” He raises his gun, pointing it at my head, and I close my eyes saying silent prayers for Hutch, my friends and my unborn baby.

  “ZOEY!” My eyes open wide when I hear Hutch in the distance. Darrin’s head turns to look down the trail, and I run to him, taking advantage of the moment and hit the gun from his hand. It lands a few feet away so I jump on it. I have it tight in my hand, but Darrin falls beside me and tries to take it.

  His hand releases from mine, abruptly, and he rolls over. Hutch has made his way to us, and he begins to fight with Darrin. I point the gun at Darrin as he and Hutch fight. My hand struggles to keep my aim because the gun is heavy, and I’m afraid I’ll shoot Hutch instead of Darrin. Just then, Hutch hits a heavy blow at Darrin’s face causing Darrin to fall back a few steps. I move the gun, point it at him and fire. The gun falls out of my hand from the blast, my head hitting the ground as I land hard and my eyes close. I open them quickly and see Darrin standing there, blood pouring from his chest and streaming through his fingers as his hand covers the wound. My eyes move to his, the surprised look on his face, and he starts to laugh.

  “Ah, you surprise me, whore.” He falls to the ground face first and lands with a muffled thump from the snow.

  I look up at Hutch who is now hovering over me, checking my shoulder with his gentle hands, and I see the blood that is covering the side of his head and down his face. “You’re hurt,” I whisper, my voice thick with emotion.

  Suddenly, he is pulled back with an arm around
his throat. He manages to grab the gun from the ground beside me and struggles with Darrin as he is pulled into a standing position. I try to sit up, but the pain in my shoulder prevents me. I watch as Hutch pushes on Darrin’s arm, trying to get free. I gasp loudly as Hutch elbows Darrin in his chest, causing Darrin to let go and back up a few steps. Hutch whips around, aims the gun at Darrin and fires a shot. Darrin falls back to the ground with a perfect hole right between his eyes. His lifeless body lays still in the wet snow, his eyes wide open but no life in them.

  I lay there shivering. My entire body wet from lying in the snow and the wetness continuing as the snow falls heavier and heavier. The blood from my shoulder wound has soaked my shirt sleeve all the way down my arm, and it now feels like dead weight. My vision starts to blur as Hutch bends down on his knees beside me, his phone against his ear.

  “Hurry! Please, hurry!” He yells into the phone. “Yes! We’re at the big rock down at the point. HURRY!” He drops the phone in the snow and removes his shirt, winds it up and ties it around my arm below my shoulder. I groan in pain, and he apologizes profusely. “Baby, hang on. Please, stay with me. Don’t leave me, not now. We haven’t had time, not nearly enough time. Please, please don’t leave me.”

  Tears are falling from his eyes in streams as his hand runs down my hair. I reach his face with my other hand, wet with blood, and rub my thumb across his bruised cheek, his eyes closing with my touch. “Shhhh. It will be ok. It’s all good now. I’ll be watching you with Bailey from above. It’s my turn to protect you now. Don’t let me end your life, my love, for your life is not over. Like Jodi before me, follow your heart to another and live happy. Live for us.”

  “NOOOOOO!” He screams as my eyes close, and I succumb to the darkness.